It is... It is not

Chapter One: Kiss

---------------

The next time I saw Lavie she exposed me to a side of her that I had not known existed. She was smashing chairs on the crew of the Goliath. She managed to derail my thoughts for just a moment. Details of our itinerary faded into a mild surprise. The little girl I knew had changed into a warrior over-night. Clearly she was more comfortable fighting on solid ground than up in the endless sky. The desire to avoid damaging valuable mechanics compelled me to halt the brawl. I think some latent paternal instinct drew me to Lavies side as I did so. I tried to ignore it; softness is not a noble attribute in a captain.

-----------------

I did not think of Lavie again until the Sylvana was sunk by the Urbanis. I was displeased that she was unconscious, relieved that she had protected Alvis. I am sure I was mainly annoyed at the loss of an able worker. The fact that Claus and Tatiana had been shot down was another problem. Finding good pilots was difficult. The ship was in complete disrepair, my delicately balanced relationship with the Anatorey had been broken and half my crew were injured or dead. It was not an ideal situation to work with. My plans would have to have to be brought into motion sooner than I had planned and now I had less time.

When repairs were under way and I was finally able to go off duty, my thoughts drifted back Yuris. I could see her falling, I could see Delphine, I could see Hamilcar and George’s vanship wheeling into the Grand Stream, out of control. These thoughts were better left to my nightmares yet… A small pang of empathy drew my thoughts to George, his little girl. Hamilcars son might yet have been dead, so Claus had left his navi all alone. Lavie had to have heard the stories. ‘Last seen spiralling towards oblivion’ was not a comforting image. She was beginning to remind me of myself. My feet carried me to the hangar, in spite of my fatigue and in spite of myself.

--------------

I saw her working on her vanship at a distance. She looked very young. Her movements were less fluid, more unsure than a mechanic should be. Every few moments she would wipe her brow of sweat and look appraisingly at her work. When she turned I saw that her cheeks were a little flushed. Her hair was short and she reminded me of her mother rather than my navi. I released an unknowingly kept breath. Her presence was a more comfortable reminder of the old days, a sign that some life had continued after that awful day. As I drew closer her weight shifted and she began to fall.

I caught her.

She looked up at me and I asked reflexively “Is everything alright?” Her face was a little slack and her eyes were wide with surprise. I could see recognition dawning in them. I could feel smooth muscle tensing beneath my hands. The gentle swell of her breasts was under my knuckles as I helped her up. She stared at me for a moment. Her lips opened slightly but she reconsidered and pressed them back together. She seemed a little older when she was standing in front of me. A painful thought countered this, old but not old enough. All of this took place within a second. I stepped forward to cover my improper musings.

“May I borrow that; I’ll show you a trick.” I said.

I decided to help fix her vanship instead. I still wonder what might have happened if Claus and Tatiana had not returned then.

-----------

I am leaving out a few hours, possibly more than that. The work to be done on my ship was almost endless and time became static. That is to say, the clock continued to count hours while everyone moved and nothing got done. I no longer remembered the date. I was also finding my vice-captain to be uncomfortably similar to Yuris. I hated that about her, even if she was incredibly competent and well-loved. I could have forgiven it, if she hadn’t let her hair out.

I had talked to Claus earlier that day, in the middle of a currently endless shift, and I was feeling less than amused. Why did he have to catch me in the middle of launching patrols? At the very least he knew the truth now. A part of me wanted him to carry to the torch for the deaths of his father and for Lavies. I would be left with Yuris and Delphine. I would enjoy killing Delphine and I had always enjoyed having Yuris, even if she was a painful memory now.

I was contemplating sleep when I heard a knock on the door. It was tentative, cautious, as though the person on the other side of that heavy door thought it would bite. I called them in, hoping my fatigue would come across as contempt. It was far easier being the nasty leader; people bothered Sophia far more often than they bothered me.

It was Lavie.

I was only mildly surprised. I had expected her to come see me soon, if she could stomach it. I wondered if she was going to try cracking a chair over my head. She entered my quarters slowly and closed the door. I cocked an eyebrow at that. Most people left it open out of a sense of propriety. She stared at her feet for a short while, not long enough to be considered rude. Then she looked up at me, eyes wide and uncertain. I threw her a bone.

“I presume you are here because you have spoken to Claus about your vanship.”

She relaxed slightly and stepped closer to me.

“Yeah. Claus tells me it used to be yours.”

She said his name like it was poison.

“It was.”

She smiled, rather unexpectedly I thought.

“I just wanted to say thank you and to…”

She trailed away and all I could see was the little girl I had been so fond of. Her hair was falling just out of reach of her eyes. Her neck was crooked slightly to the side but her hips were inclined toward me. I realised that she had her coveralls tied by the arms around her waist. She was wearing a cropped peasant blouse. My fatigued mind baulked at that concept.

“I don’t have any photos of our… of my Dad anymore. I’m beginning to forget what he looked like.”
I had never had that problem myself. My dying friends were burnt into my retinas.
“Could you tell me about my Dad?”

------------------

I sat with her for a while, keeping my reminiscing as general as possible. I pulled out the old photo I had of the four of us. She didn’t ask about Yuris or about me. I eventually threw in some anecdotes about George and his practical jokes. She couldn’t stop laughing when she heard about the time he put food colouring into Hamilcars canteen, causing him to deliver a letter with purple lips. She had a nice laugh. We were sitting close together on my lounge. Our knees had started brushing half an hour ago but she didn’t notice or didn’t care. She smiled at me eventually.

“It’s our vanship now, just so you know.”

“Yes. It is.”

After a while I offered her a drink and she looked surprised when it was whiskey. She drank it anyway. I only gave her a fingers worth in the hope that it would make her sleepy enough to leave. I like to think that my intentions were noble. She started telling me about what her vanship had been through since it left my care. She told me that it had kept her going. I asked her old she was.

“Sixteen in two months.”

She looked up at me and I realised she was only two months away from legal. She was telling me she was almost an adult by the law. I may have turned away Sophia time and again but this was someone else. Someone I had known at that time. Someone who knew, in a sense, what it felt like. She wasn’t looking for a relationship either. The only person she wanted was Claus.

“I think Claus is sleeping with Tatiana… or something.”

“What makes you think that?”

I was leaning forward still, my head turned toward her. My elbows rested easily on my knees. I was feeling more relaxed than I had in days. Alcohol soothed me and I had pickled myself enough that I could hold it. Her cheeks were a little red though. She knew she was playing with fire. I was her superior and she was flirting with me.

“The other mechanics were talking about it and Gale has been really pissed off lately.”

I let out a snort of laughter at that. First time in a while.

“I don’t think he has, if that is any consolation.”

“I think I don’t care so much anymore.”

“Truly?”

“I’m thinking about much worse myself.”

Then she kissed me. It was just the soft press of her lips against mine but it was quite erotic. Clearly I hadn’t had any in a long time if I was feeling that way. I pushed a little closer. I tipped my head so that our mouths had better access then I ran my tongue over her lip. She shivered a little but she let me. I never put my arms around her. When I pulled away she looked a little stunned.

“I think you should go now. No one saw you come here, so make sure no one sees you leave.”

I can be quite cold on a good day.

“Yes sir. I have to go check on Al, I left her sleeping in my vanship”

“You can call me Alex in private.”

“I think I’ll come by again, Alex.”

She did. She came to visit me again many times.

-------------------

Sorry this chapter took so long to write. I actually had a big chunk of it done before but family commitments got in the way of finishing it. I know te chapters are short but I like them that way.

Thank you butterflysuki for your review! I hope I can vaguely pull this off, it's a pairing that could never exist simply because it shouldn't. That's kinda why I like it so much.