Neko

Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own it. :(

Translation notes:


Neko - the submissive partner in a male/male relationship; a slang term in Japan. It doesn't only mean 'cat'


Okama - generic term for a gay man or for being gay


Doseiaisha - term for 'gay'

Neko

Chapter 2

Twirling a candy stick idly in his hand, L clicked around on his computer monitor, fascinated. Earlier, on a whim, he had decided to look up characteristics of okama, hoping to figure out whether or not Raito qualified under the criteria. So, L had run a simple search, figuring he'd find at least a few sites to check out.

He had never expected this.

Tons of sites swarmed in front of him. Loud banners popped up, trying to entice him into their site, as well as countless dating sites with flashy logos, informational sites about current slang, not to mention all the pictures. L felt rather overwhelmed with it all, and it was difficult to figure out where to start.

Deciding he might as well start at the top, L clicked on the top result, a link proudly declaring to be the host of the finest doseiaisha loving on the net. The site popped up, and L blinked as dozens of full-color graphics began popping up on his computer, in full color, some in animation.

“Ryuuzaki, I found the pass- what are you doing!”

L turned to look at Raito, who was gaping at the monitor, shocked, his hands suspended over his keyboard.

“Oh, you got through the Yotsuba group's firewall?” L observed, leaning over to look at the monitor, his eyes wide. “Your hacking skills are remarkable, Raito-kun.”

Raito scowled.

“Flattery will get you nowhere,” he said curtly, folding his arms. “Just what are you looking up?”

“Okama,” L said simply, turning back to his own computer, unfazed by its questionable content. “It's really quite fascinating, Raito-kun. Okama have their own entire culture.”

“Is it?” Raito said sarcastically, disdain dripping from his voice. “And why, pray tell, are you looking up such a fascinating culture as that of okama?”

“It pertains to Kira,” L responded absently, clicking. “Ooh, look, Raito! Do you know what a 'glory-hole' is?”

“How do glory-holes have anything to do with Kira?” Raito asked incredulously, getting up out of his chair to look over L's shoulder.

“Well, you see, okama use them,” L explained, pointing to a picture on screen. “The okama puts his privates in here-”

“I know what a glory-hole is!” Raito cried, clearly frustrated. “But what does-”

“How is it that you know what a glory-hole is, Raito-kun?” L interrupted, intrigued.

“That doesn't matter!” Raito exclaimed. “What does matter is that you are wasting time looking up okama! Why are you looking them up? What does any of this have to do with Kira? And why are you looking up okama, anyway?”

L watched blankly as Raito finished his outburst, holding in his internal laughter masterfully.

“Oh,” L blinked. “That's what you wanted to know. I didn't understand what you meant at all. You really must learn to be more articulate, Raito-kun.”

“Well, you understand me now, don't you?” Raito said tersely, and L noted that Raito was gritting his teeth. “So, tell me: why are you looking up okama, which has nothing to do with Kira, when we are supposed to be researching and tracking Kira to save all of mankind?”

“This does have to do with Kira, Raito-kun.” L paused. “You see, I believe Kira may be okama.”

Out of the corner of his eye, L saw Raito freeze, before turning to look at L very deliberately, though his hands seemed to be twitching, as if they longed to clasp the neck of the odd boy and strangle him. L marveled at Ratio's self-control. Though it was obvious he was clearly thrown by that remark, L couldn't manage to tell if it was because he was Kira and was insulted at being presumed okama, he was okama and jolted by the comparison to Kira, or whether it was because the theory had actual merit.

It was really quite amazing, L noted, watching Raito's expression absently. He had gained incredible self-control during the time they were chained together. In the beginning, he was able to read the young Yagami boy's face as easily as a scytale cipher. It was far more difficult now.

“And how, pray tell, did you come to this conclusion?” Raito asked, his tone carefully measured.

“It all has to do with who Kira's been killing,” L said brightly, bringing up a window with the names and faces of all Kira's victims to date. “If you look, you can see that the majority of Kira's victims are large and burly men. From this, it becomes apparent that Kira is a neko, but is clearly in denial about it, thus using his power to kill these men as a means of proving his masculinity and dominance to the world.”

L turned to face Raito to gage his reaction, pleased to see it was blank. Perhaps he had finally stumped Raito after all. Or perhaps Raito-kun thought he had gone insane.

“That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard,” Raito said flatly.

“I calculated that there was a ninety-five percent chance that you would say that,” L said, smiling weakly, pulling up a spreadsheet. “As such, I made this program to help you understand.”

“You wrote a program just to explain to me that you think Kira likes men?” Raito asked incredulously. L ignored him.

“You see, here you enter all the data on Kira's victims,” L explained, gesturing to the text-filled columns. “Then, the program calculates the average masculinity of each victim based on their looks, the severity of their crime, and so on.”

“This is complete shit,” Raito said flatly, his arms folded. “This is complete and utter shit.”

“Don't interrupt, Raito-kun,” L said pointedly. “Then, based on those figures and other previously-entered data, the computer analyzes the chances that Kira is, indeed, an okama.” L demonstrated by clicking the 'go' button. “Ah, you see? The computer feels that there is a seventy-nine percent chance that Kira is an okama.”

Raito gaped at the young genius detective, disbelieving.L watched as the boy before him struggled to find the right words to express himself.

“Kira,” Raito said incredulously. “You think Kira is gay because of a computer program?”

“Exactly!” L said, beaming at him. “I'm so glad you finally understand, Raito-kun!”

L watched idly, wondering how many seconds it would take until Raito's self-control finally cracked. He managed to count to eight before Raito cracked and launched into a tirade.

“This is incredible!” Raito exclaimed, ranting incredulously. “I can't believe you actually think Kira's gay just because of who he killed! And people say you're the most brilliant detective on the face of the earth! This is unbelievable! Absolutely un-fucking-believable!”

“I realize that this may be hard for you to accept,” L said knowingly, “but you must admit, the merit of the evidence-”

“Did it ever occur to you,” Raito said, interrupting, “that Kira's been killing so many hairy, masculine men simply because they're the ones who commit the most crimes?”

Raito's triumphant blue gaze met L's own cool black, and the detective looked back at the Yagami boy, unfazed.

“What's your point, Yagami-kun?” L asked blankly.

Looking like he was about to hit the thin boy, Raito opened his mouth once again, before making a loud noise of frustration and storming over to his seat. He sat down loudly, fuming, before finally resuming his hacking into the Yotsuba group, pausing every so often to make disparaging noises or to shoot dirty looks at L.

After a minute or so of watching this, L decided Raito had calmed down enough to no longer be an immediate threat to his existence and turned back to his own computer screen.

It had been rather amusing, actually, L mused as he surfed through the countless sites that had come up. The gay Kira theory had been completely bull, naturally, as the computer program had been, but it had been plausible enough for Raito to believe that that was the actual reason for his sudden interest in okama culture. And Raito had been too infuriated at the ridiculousness of it all to pay attention to what L was actually showing him, just as L had predicted.

It was rather frightening, actually. Just when had he become so adept at predicting Raito's odd behavior?

Dismissing it as a result from their constant proximity, L continued his search, clicking on a link that looked promising. A new browser opened up, and L was relieved to see it filled with words instead of pictures, for once.

Scanning the text, L hummed to himself. This was nothing really new, just a history of nanshoku throughout Japan. Clicking back and scrolling through all the picture-pages for something worth his time, L 's mind began to drift as he started at the screen, not really seeing anything on it.

Was Raito an okama? It was certainly possible, judging from the dream he had had last night, but L knew that no one could control their dreams. The theory was more of a whimsical guess to Raito's nature right now, and L wasn't quite sure of anything just yet.

Raito's reaction to his search supported the theory, at least. It was reasonable to infer that something in L's statement had triggered a strong emotional response, and L was eighty-nine percent sure that it had been at the mention of okama. If Raito was an okama, it was obvious from his social interactions that he had never come out of the proverbial closet, and that he would therefore react strongly to the casual mentioning of okama. Then again, even if Raito wasn't an okama, he might just be reacting strongly because of his dream last night, paranoid that his bedmate had overheard something, which, coincidentally, he had.

L restrained a sigh. His unfounded mental musings were getting him nowhere. No, what L needed was criteria of some sort to qualify Raito as an okama. Then he could be sure of his conclusion.

“Enjoying yourself?”

Blinking, L turned to look at Raito, who was looking at him sardonically, his lips twisted into a wry smile.

“Why do you say that, Raito-kun?” L asked, curious. Raising an eyebrow, Raito gestured toward the screen, and L was aghast to realize that he had been staring at a full-color movie clip of a seme and an uke enjoying each other on screen.

“It appears that your theory about Kira's sexuality is merely a facade, Ryuuzaki,” Raito said, smirking. “Perhaps the okama here is you.”

Mortified, L felt his cheeks start to heat up, and he was appalled to realize he was blushing. He didn't blush, damn it! He was the world-renowned detective L, master of blank expressions, the sensei of self-control, and all-around expert of not showing his emotions! And he was not blushing!

“I was merely profiling the neko, Yagami-kun. How else am I to tell if my theory about Kira is correct?” L retorted, eternally grateful for his quick-wit. “You, however, seem to be the one rather entranced by this video. Perhaps you would like to see more?” Drawing out the last word as Raito had done in his sleep last night, L watched as Raito stiffened imperceptibly and quickly returned to his computer, muttering something beneath his breath about nosy idiots. L smiled to himself before returning to his work.

So, it appeared Raito did remember what he had dreamt about the night before. As the chances of recalling a dream when one woke up at the end were only sixty-seven percent, L hadn't been quite sure. Raito's response, however, had eliminated all doubt from the young detective's mind. L could've sworn he saw a blush on the young Yagami's face before he had ducked his head.

And speaking of blushing...

L spent a moment internally berating himself for his own reaction. Why had he blushed, damn it! He never blushed! If he hadn't quickly diverted Raito's attention away through his response, the boy might have noticed it! L felt like he had narrowly avoided a catastrophe. He was not accustomed to his emotions ruling over his head. He had never done such a thing silly think as blushing before!

But why had he done it, then?

Perhaps it was Raito's fault. The boy did seem to evoke strange behavior and responses in him, so it wasn't out of the question.

Firmly pushing the matter aside, L clicked onto another site, this one proclaiming to be able to tell girls whether or not their boyfriends were secretly okama or not, and if they were, how to win them back. The layout was bright pink, decorated with gaudy pink graphics of flowers and such, and L was reminded of Misa. If she had created a website, this would be it.

Scanning the content, L was surprised to see just the list of okama characteristics he had been looking for, framed in a purple text box. He hadn't expected to find his answer here. Intrigued, L read on.

If your boyfriend's always secretive, he might be an okama. Okama tend to hide their true nature from everyone, and it extends into other aspects of their life as well.

Well, Raito was certainly secretive. He had monitored whether or not people had gone into his room when he still lived at home, and he never discussed his personal life or thoughts with anyone, not even Misa. Raito always seemed naturally paranoid, and he did like to keep everything to himself. It had been because of Raito's secrecy that L had chained them together, as it was the only way he could be sure that Raito wasn't secretly killing people behind his back.

Okama boys are unusually dedicated to what they love. Whatever he does, he will want to do it to the best of his ability. If he cares about you, he will treat you like a goddess, doing his best to make you happy, even if he is an okama.

Dedicated described Raito, too. Before, with tennis, Raito had worked hard daily to improve his skills, according to Yagami-san. L had seen Raito's dedication with his academics when he had been monitoring the Yagami household, watching as Raito often studied long into the night. And now, with the Kira investigation, Raito had practically given up his life to catching the criminal, cutting himself off from school, friends, and family, restricting himself to a single building until the killer had been caught.

If Raito wasn't dedicated, no one was.

Okama are usually cute, too. Is your boyfriend hot, or is he just cute in an adorable sort of way? Does he make you want to ravish him senseless, or do you just want to go up to him and give him a hug?

Cute? Was Raito cute? Casting a sideways glance at the young Yagami, who was intent on his own work, L looked at the boy closely, examining him.

While he wasn't the best judge, L supposed Raito was kind of cute. He could see why girls thought so, at least. Though fit from tennis, Raito certainly wasn't 'hot' per se, but he was attractive in his own unique way. Plus, Raito had a way of talking to you that just made you feel relaxed and comforted in his presence, like you could just hug him and he'd automatically hug you back. His blue eyes often sparkled with some unknown joke as well, enchanting people and making them trust him, and his hair sort of hung down over his face all the time, making you want to touch it and gently brush it back from his eyes and tuck it behind an ear...

Bringing his train of thought to a screeching halt, L quickly looked away from Raito, his pulse racing. He was not going to think about that any longer. Determinedly, L turned back to the screen.

Right, cute, L mentally acknowledged. Check next to cute. What's next? The detective read on, making sure his mind stayed focused on the task at hand.

Okama are really in-tune with emotions, their own and others. Does your boyfriend talk to you about how he feels about things, about your relationship, or does he just go, “It's fine” and leave it at that? Does he sense when you're going through a hard time, or does he just chalk it up to PMS? If you answered any of the former bits, your boyfriend might be an okama.

L wasn't really sure on this one. While Raito seemed to understand what people were thinking and feeling, it seemed more like he figured it out from a psychological standpoint rather than intuitively. Then again, the website hadn't specified how the okama was in touch with emotions, so maybe Raito fit after all. And L certainly didn't know whether Raito was in-tune with his own emotions. Raito kept to himself about those sorts of things.

Okama are really good dressers; that's one of the reasons why girls are attracted to them in the first place. Is your boyfriend always dressed well for your dates, or does he just throw on any old thing to go out?

Raito scored a resounding yes to this one, L smirked. When he went to school, Raito's uniform was always immaculately pressed, and it suited him well. He had an actual outfit to play tennis in, and even his casual clothes were flattering to his body and his coloring. Smirking, L was able to recall more than one instance when Raito had berated him for his sloppy appearance or had gotten upset at the state Watari had delivered the laundry in.

Perhaps more so than anything else, okama are nit-picky about little, meaningless things. If he's a neat freak, keep his books organized according to the Dewey Decimal System, or flips out if something's not absolutely perfect, your boyfriend has a definite possibility of being an okama.

L grinned to himself. Raito fully qualified under this criterion alone, whether or not he fit the other ones. Raito was anal retentive to the point of madness, and L had seriously considered summoning a psychiatrist to see if he had Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. He hadn't, however, merely chalking it up to another odd thing about Raito, though he remembered it now.

Sitting back in his chair, relaxing, L mentally reviewed everything in his head. According to this site, using all their criteria, with the addition of the dream, there was an eighty-four percent chance that Raito was an okama. Satisfied with his day's work, L moved the cursor to exit the window, stopping when his eye snagged on one last thing on the site.

Lastly, when you and your boyfriend are having sex, what does he like? Does he like you to stick things up his ass, or does he especially enjoy aneru? If he does, chances are he might be an okama.

Fighting to hold back a grin, L turned to Raito, simply unable to resist.

“Raito-kun,” L said, and the other boy turned to face him wearily. L fought not to laugh. Raito wouldn't know whether he was asking this to compare him to Kira or for his own information. It was brilliant.

“Raito-kun,” L said, his lips quirking upward in an odd sort of smile. “This website says that okama especially like things put up their ass. Do you like things put up your ass?”

Raito eyes bulged, and he shot a venomous look of pure hatred at L, before turning back to his own computer.

“I'll shove something up your ass,” he muttered darkly, resuming his typing as he tried to crack another code of Yotsuba's.

L sat back, grinning madly. It may not be very wise, and it may not be very smart, but it was always great fun to annoy Raito.

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Yay! Another chapter done! Please, review!!