Thursday

disclaimer: standard applies except on the west coast, which will see it at its regularly scheduled time

A/N: this is 2 of 2, called "could i have this dance?" it's another song that i thought fit perfectly. have fun!

~italics~=song lyrics, italics=thoughts, /words/=flashback to previous chapter

Yohji POV


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Could I Have This Dance?
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~I’ll always remember
The song they were playing
The first time we danced
And I knew
As we swayed to the music
And held to each other
I fell in love with you~

There I go again, dammit!

It was about the hundredth time Yohji pictured the redhead on that day so many weeks ago. Aya, his leader, his comrade, his friend…

No, not his friend.

/Because I can’t be friends./

Aya didn’t want to be his friend. The redhead probably didn’t even want to be his house mate, but Yohji couldn’t help but think of all the fun they’d had that month some weeks back. To think that all Yohji’d had to do was have a small nightmare to get closer to Aya.

Yohji had finally found someone he could be easy with, someone he didn’t have to pretend with, or hide the fact that he killed people at night for a living. Aya already knew Yohji, as a killer, as a teammate, as a man. Aya was someone he could be comfortable with while being attracted to him.

And, God, was he attracted to the redhead! But it was more than that, really. Yohji knew how he felt about his leader. He wasn’t about to deny the feelings, because the feelings he had defined him now, were proof that he was still alive and that he still wanted to live. And when was it that he had exactly started feeling like this?

That weekend, at the pavilion…

Yohji had taken Aya to one of his favorite places. He was sure Aya had been expecting a club or bar, but he’d had other plans. He had wanted Aya, had planned the perfect seduction, in fact. He’d become his friend, never letting on that he wanted to tumble Aya. Then on their planned night out at one his favorite clubs, he’d take him. If Aya never wanted him again afterwards, that couldn’t be helped. At least Yohji would get what he wanted.

But then Yohji had realized that a simple fuck wasn’t what he wanted anymore. The more he spent time with the redhead, the more he could see the person that Aya really wanted to be; Aya really just wanted to be Ran. And then he really did want to be Aya’s friend. So in what he thought of as an unsurpassed act of friendliness, Yohji had taken him to one of his mellow park parties instead of the club Aya was expecting. He’d kept the alcohol and drugs away from Aya, intent on letting Aya have a fun night.

But he had seen how unhappy the redhead was, and Yohji’d felt an unbridled urge to sweep the redhead into his arms and hug him for all he was worth. Aya had looked so fragile, and Yohji swore that he’d seen Aya flinch every time someone asked the blonde to dance. So Yohji had done a very gentlemanly, if a little embarrassing, thing; he had asked Aya to dance.

Yohji sat and remembered how it had felt to hold Aya close to him, smelling the shampoo in that mass of silky crimson, running his hands over that lean, yet toned frame. That’s when Yohji realized that after all the seduction, then backing out of his plan all together, he was in love with the redhead. Just one slow, lazy, non-sex-inducing dance had turned the playboy into a one-man man.

And damn it if Aya hadn’t been holding on to him as if he were trying to imprint Yohji’s impression in his memory, like it was never going to happen again…

Yohji’s small smile vanished.

/Because I don’t want to be just friends!/

Could Aya…?

~Could I have this dance
For the rest of my life?
Would you be my partner
Every night?
When we’re together
It feels so right
Could I have this dance
For the rest of my life?~

Yohji silently watched Aya from behind his sunglasses. He didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary about his leader, but every now and again when his attention would be diverted elsewhere, Yohji'd go back to his silent contemplation of the redhead only to see a quick movement of said red head. As if Aya’d been looking at Yohji.

Yohji knew for certain what he felt for Aya was love, but he just didn’t know how to go about getting the redhead to know it. Aya wasn’t exactly the easiest to talk to at the best of times. In fact, the only time Aya had even loosened up enough to talk to had been at the pavilion party…when they had been dancing.

Yohji suddenly had an idea. If Aya was so inclined, he thought he could show the redhead all in good faith exactly how he felt. He just needed a way to get the redhead to dance with him again. And while Yohji plotted and schemed, Aya’s words ran rampant in his head.

/Because I don’t want to be ‘just friends!’/

~I’ll always remember
That magic moment
When I held you close to me
As we moved together
I knew forever
You’re all I’ll ever need~

“Oi, Aya, wait up.” Yohji grabbed the arm of Aya’s sweater before the redhead could escape upstairs after closing the shop. “I want to talk to you about what you said some weeks ago.” He saw Aya’s eyes narrow into that icy dagger-throwing stare.

“I made it quite clear that I wanted no further association with you of that kind, Yohji.”

“As I recall, you ran from the room before you made any such thing clear.”

“I did not run!” raged Aya, choking back further words as Yohji stared wide-eyed at his sudden display of emotion. Regaining his composure, he added, “I never run.”

“Yeah, and Ken is a ladies’ man. Aya, I just want to know what you meant by what you said. Why can’t you be my friend?” He saw some emotion flicker in Aya’s eyes, a tremble of his lips as if he wanted to say something to that, but turned his head instead.

“Yohji, don’t do this.”

“Aya, run and I’ll follow you.” After a moment’s consideration, Aya bowed his head, something Yohji took as submission. “Just go to the roof so we can talk in private, okay?”

Aya nodded once and turned to continue up the stairs. Yohji guessed he was having a hard time with this confrontation; fearless leader or not, Aya didn’t do so well in social activities such as conversation. He waited a minute then began his own climb to the roof. He wanted Aya to get there first.

And when he came silently up behind Aya, he was not disappointed. Aya was transfixed by what he saw, the product of Yohji's hard work and cigarette breaks. Speaking of which, Yohji now took one out, followed by his lighter. He looked about the roof himself then, seeing his handy work in the evening shadows. A table with candles and a bottle of sake sat in the middle, the table cloth fluttering in the slight breeze. Strings of Christmas lights swayed in the moonlight, casting the roof in a comfortable golden glow. Yohji had seen something like it in an American film and thought it was a nice touch.

Yohji's stereo sat on the roof’s ledge, slow strands of soft jazz coming from the speakers.

“I take it you like, Aya?” He gestured with his hand holding the lighter the entire area of the roof as Aya turned to look at him. Violet turned amethyst eyes riveted him to where he was standing, thoughts of lighting his cigarette gone. The depths of those eyes were, as always, unreadable, but Yohji thought he could just make out something of happiness within them.

“Yohji, why would you do all this for me?”

“You know, Aya, it’s funny. When Asuka died, I thought I would never love again, never put anyone in danger with my acquaintance again. But as time went on, I found myself thinking that, yeah, I may be able to love again, but never as thoroughly or passionately as I had loved her.

“I guess I just didn’t know what passion was, or love for that matter. Nothing in the world could have prepared me for the feelings you-Aya-have dredged up within my heart. You’ve wrapped yourself around my very soul, if I still have one to claim, and even after you ended our ‘friendship,’ I couldn’t stop the feelings I have for you.

“Yes, I want to be your friend, but I want to be so much more than that. Aya, if you truly have no room for me in your life outside of our jobs, please just tell me now.”

Aya didn’t say anything for the longest time, and Yohji despaired of ever having the redhead for himself. He began to think that this had been a very bad idea.

“Yohji,” Aya suddenly said, “If…you really mean what y-you just said…”

“Dance with me.”

“What?”

“Aya, dance with me.” After a moment’s hesitation, Aya took Yohji's proffered hand and was led to an empty space near the table.

“I thought you only wanted to be my friend, while I wanted…”

“You wanted what, Aya? You wanted me?” Yohji laughed incredulously, wondering when exactly he had lost his edge enough not to notice. But then again, it was Aya, so all radars had sufficiently been disabled. A slight, embarrassed nod against his shoulder quelled any thoughts he might have proceeded with.

“Yohji, when…?”

“The first time we danced, Aya.” Yohji had Aya in his arms once again, but there was still one thing left to do. Yohji lifted his hand to slide up Aya’s arm, bringing it up to his cheek. He moved Aya’s head back so he could see his face, and the back of his fingers stroked the pale skin. He leaned down and claimed the kiss he had desired for months, Aya’s tongued plunging into his mouth, and he moaned deep in his throat as realization hit home that he finally had what he’d always wanted and never thought he’d have: hope.

When they finally came apart for air, he slipped his fingers into Aya’s fiery mane, gently tilting his head so that they could each look into the other’s eyes. Yohji's heart leaped when he gazed into the amethyst orbs, for instead of the unreadable ice that usually marred their beauty, he saw passionate emotions that he never thought Aya capable of: love, passion, desire, lust, hope, all wrapped up in anxiety and fear; fear for what he was getting himself into and fear for what the future might bring.

He grabbed his redheaded leader and love into a breath-taking embrace and breathed a question into the gold-adorned ear, “Could I have this dance for the rest of my life?”

A slight nod on his shoulder, and Yohji could have died happy.

~Could I have this dance
For the rest of my life?
Would you be my partner
Every night?
When we’re together
It feels so right
Could I have this dance
For the rest of my life?~

^_^ owari


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thanks to everyone that read!