Nights to Remember
folder
Hellsing › General
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
5
Views:
4,652
Reviews:
7
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Hellsing › General
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
5
Views:
4,652
Reviews:
7
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Hellsing, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Longing
A/N: I don't own Hellsing. Kouta Hirano has that honor. Sometimes I wish I did though.
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I have known fear, hatred, and death. I have loved deeper than most, and have lost so much more than many have in their lifetimes to lose. It would seem that I have seen everything the world has had to offer since the beginning of my time here. I have encountered passion, fulfilled lust, given in to desires of the flesh. None of it has had any special meaning to me. If I’d done things different these last many years, it is possible that my fate would have changed, and I would not be in such bondage.
But I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I’ve known thousands of people, and the majority of them ended up giving me their lives in the end. The few that don’t belong to me were most amazing specimens. A man is what defeated me, not another monster. No monster could ever be my equal. And this man has caused in me a change, and now I feel obliged to him. He took what little I had away, threw it back in my face, and locked me away. What he did not realize, however, is that he has left me with something more invaluable than all the riches I could have ever possessed.
My dreams, visions in the daytime which I have never known, are slowly emerging. Thoughts of that woman, the valiant Sir Hellsing, stir me to my core. I cannot stop thinking of her, unless I am consumed by my rage. In that instance, instinct takes over; I am no longer myself as I am now, thoughtful and possessive of sane attributes, but I become the monster I am known, and expected, to be. Death is my life, and I thrive in it.
She has created in me a sense of obligation to a degree which I’ve never felt. At least, it seems like obligation. I feel I must always be at her side, I must always, always be at her beck and call. I must be ready to defend what is mine. For that is what she is, my own. She is my master, and I her servant; but it is I who owns her.
Naturally, the woman would never agree. Outwardly, she controls my actions, my abilities to expand beyond these walls of stone and memories. She controls my outcome. But I control her soul. It is because I love her that she lets me do so, though unconsciously. She doesn’t know that I have such affection for her. In her mind, I do not have the emotional capacity, nor the attention span required, to pay her any more heed than where my meals come from, where my killing sprees stem from. She has deemed me too old, too experienced, too deadly a liaison to be trusted enough to love.
She is wrong.
I invade her thoughts, and I see that she also loves me. Expression of this love, however, is what is going to prove most difficult. It is forbidden. It is sweet, and pure, and truer than anything else in this damned world; and anything that wonderful is instantly questionable.
I will become her lover, because it is what I want. It is what she wants.
My next task is to maker her understand. Action is imminent.
End Chapter 2
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I have known fear, hatred, and death. I have loved deeper than most, and have lost so much more than many have in their lifetimes to lose. It would seem that I have seen everything the world has had to offer since the beginning of my time here. I have encountered passion, fulfilled lust, given in to desires of the flesh. None of it has had any special meaning to me. If I’d done things different these last many years, it is possible that my fate would have changed, and I would not be in such bondage.
But I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I’ve known thousands of people, and the majority of them ended up giving me their lives in the end. The few that don’t belong to me were most amazing specimens. A man is what defeated me, not another monster. No monster could ever be my equal. And this man has caused in me a change, and now I feel obliged to him. He took what little I had away, threw it back in my face, and locked me away. What he did not realize, however, is that he has left me with something more invaluable than all the riches I could have ever possessed.
My dreams, visions in the daytime which I have never known, are slowly emerging. Thoughts of that woman, the valiant Sir Hellsing, stir me to my core. I cannot stop thinking of her, unless I am consumed by my rage. In that instance, instinct takes over; I am no longer myself as I am now, thoughtful and possessive of sane attributes, but I become the monster I am known, and expected, to be. Death is my life, and I thrive in it.
She has created in me a sense of obligation to a degree which I’ve never felt. At least, it seems like obligation. I feel I must always be at her side, I must always, always be at her beck and call. I must be ready to defend what is mine. For that is what she is, my own. She is my master, and I her servant; but it is I who owns her.
Naturally, the woman would never agree. Outwardly, she controls my actions, my abilities to expand beyond these walls of stone and memories. She controls my outcome. But I control her soul. It is because I love her that she lets me do so, though unconsciously. She doesn’t know that I have such affection for her. In her mind, I do not have the emotional capacity, nor the attention span required, to pay her any more heed than where my meals come from, where my killing sprees stem from. She has deemed me too old, too experienced, too deadly a liaison to be trusted enough to love.
She is wrong.
I invade her thoughts, and I see that she also loves me. Expression of this love, however, is what is going to prove most difficult. It is forbidden. It is sweet, and pure, and truer than anything else in this damned world; and anything that wonderful is instantly questionable.
I will become her lover, because it is what I want. It is what she wants.
My next task is to maker her understand. Action is imminent.
End Chapter 2
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