Remember My Pain

Genre: CROSSOVER: Wolf's Rain / Kyou Kara Maou
Rating: NC-17, mentioning rape
Characters/Pairing: Gwendal/Gunter, slight mentioning of Darcia/Gunter
Chapters: 2/?
Feedback: PLEASE!! >.<
Summary: Shocking truth for poor clueless Gwendal

AU Notes: I did get the feeling that the characters became a little OOC..? What do you think?

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As Gwendal rode up to the gates of the castle he instantly could tell that something was wrong.

Spotting his lover standing somewhat behind the rest of the “welcome-home-committee” he felt a shudder running up his spine.

Gunter looked almost…ill.

As they got off their horses Gwendal’s chin almost hit the ground as Gunter actually more or less pushed Yuuri and his brothers to the side to reach Gwendal and throw himself around his neck.

And it was something so frightening and desperate about that hug, that it made Gwendal forget about all the curious looks they were receiving and hug Gunter back hard.

-Gunter..?

-I am so glad that you have come back unharmed. Gunter whispered.

-It was hardly a dangerous mission Gunter. But I am glad you care. Gwendal murmured back.

Gunter let go of his still stunned and concerned lover and blushed as he realised they were being stared at; even Wolfram was silently watching the whole scene.

Never ever had Gunter greeted Gwendal before His Majesty, and never ever had the two openly held each other.

-Conrad. Gunter is… Something feels… Yuuri whispered.

-I know Yuuri. But he will be fine, Gwendal will make it fine. Do not worry. Conrad quietly answered; he also could feel that something was different with Gunter.

-Gunter. Is there something you want to tell me about?

-I… No. I am just so very happy to see you.

-Are you sure?

-Yes love. Do not worry, I am fine.

He was lying. Gwendal knew he was lying and that made his worry bloom into concern and almost fright for his lover.

Always being over dramatic and having no control what so ever over his feelings, Gunter was a person that you really started to worry about when he got quiet and when he was not telling you something.

Like right now.

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Never leaving Gwendal’s side, Gunter followed his lover around all through the day, not once fussing or crying over His Majesty, making Gwendal and his brothers worry even more.

When the evening came and Gwendal declared at the dinner table that he and Gunter was to go to bed a little earlier, Gunter grew even more quiet and submissively followed his lover to their shared room.

After Gwendal closed the door he spun around and was about to question or yell at his lover for his odd behaviour when Gunter finally started to speak.

-I lied to you.

-What?

-I said I lied to you.

-…

-When we… The first time we made love I said that you were my first one. That isn’t true.

-…

-There was one… But I... I’m sorry.

-…why did you lie?

-I… I was not…willing. He did not… He raped me.

Gwendal stared at his lover in shock.

-…Gunter..! What..? Why haven’t you told me?!

-I was ashamed! I have known you all my life and if there was one thing I wanted to give to you it was my innocence! Because I knew you would cherish it, and love it! I did desire this man… I thought he was so beautiful. But I never ever consider about giving him what was intended to you! It was just a childish crush! And…I’ve never understood why he did that to me. I didn’t even know him, and I still don’t. I followed him around for days, and he caught me watching him one day out in the garden. And he just…

Gunter left the sentence hanging and suddenly started to sob, making Gwendal act and hugged him gently, shocked into silence at what his lover just had told him.

-I’m sorry... I didn’t want to lie to you. I thought you’d think I was…unclean.

-Gunter. I could never think that of you. You are the purest thing I know, your personality and your love… This man... Why was he here?

-I don’t remember. I never got his name. I don’t think anyone really knew who he was. But he has this eye… An odd eye, which he hides under a metallic eye-patch. It looks like a wolf’s eye, and when I looked into that eye I just…kind of fainted. I couldn’t move.

-Did he…rape you after you’d fainted?

-No. I was just a child when he did that, and he was much older then me. He just slapped me hard once and stunned me… I couldn’t fight him. He was so much stronger.

-…then when did he use this “odd eye” on you…?

-I… When you were away on this mission…with His Majesty and you brothers… I took a walk in the woods and…he just showed up. Just like that. I couldn’t control myself! I did not recognise him at first, but when he spoke and when I saw that eye-patch… I attacked him. I just… I don’t think he recognized me either at first, but then… I lost the fight, I was too reckless. But I did not care; I tried to attack him once more even though he had his sword at my throat. He revealed that odd eye to me then and I…fainted. When I woke up he was gone but… He left something.

Gunter slowly untangled himself from Gwendal’s hug and stood, walking over to their shared wardrobe he got down on his knees and rummaged around for a while before he slowly stood up again and turned around.

The white cloth he was holding in his shaking hands… Gwendal’s heart constricted painfully at the lost and painful look in Gunter’s eyes as he stared at that piece of cloth.

Gwendal wasn’t sure he wanted to know what those dark stains on the white cloth were. But somewhere in his heart he already knew.

Startling Gunter with his roar he jumped up and threw a punch at the wall, successfully pounding a hole in the wall. He then, with tears streaming from his eyes, took hold of Gunter by his shoulder and shook him gently.

-You should have told me! You stubborn fool! Gwendal yelled at a completely shocked Gunter.

Then he crushed Gunter to his big chest and held him tight, his tears still running down his cheeks.

Gunter slowly responded to the hug and buried his head under his tall lover’s cheek, still shocked by Gwendal’s tears. In all these years they have known each other he had never seen Gwendal shed a tear.

Looking up into his lovers eyes, Gunter stood up on his toes and kissed each eye lid with a small watery smile.

-I love you Gwendal Von Voltaire. Don’t you ever leave me.

-Never. I will find him… And when I do…

-Shhh. It’s alright. He can’t harm me anymore. Please…love me.

Gwendal seized his fragile-looking lover’s lips with a burning passion. The need to make Gunter feel pleasure and to feel loved, made his kiss so hot that it could have scorch the sun with its heat.

Gunter moaned wantonly and let himself be picked up and carried to their shared bed where Gwendal carefully set him down and rid him of his clothes.

When they both where naked Gwendal gently bore him down on the bed and positioned himself between Gunter’s spread legs. Still kissing him hard Gwendal played with Gunter’s rosy nipples, drawing forth and swallowing the soft moans from Gunter.

Gunter then suddenly pushed up at his chest, and Gwendal let himself be pushed over on his back, and Gunter then straddled his chest with a somewhat wicked smile.

Licking and biting his lover’s neck Gunter chuckled at the low purr Gwendal made.

Kissing the skin he had assaulted with his teeth Gunter licked and sucked his way down to Gwendal’s oh so proud manhood.

It was a strange thing, that an organ that Gunter himself had looked so much more beautiful on Gwendal. It made Gunter want to cherish it.

Licking at the slit and watching it quiver Gunter then took the whole shaft into his mouth and smiled at the high pitched groan Gwendal made.

It wasn’t a usual thing that Gwendal let him be in charge, and it was really not a usual thing to see Gwendal loose some of his control.

Deep throating and purring Gunter made Gwendal buck sharply, almost making him choke on the thick piece of flesh. Gunter let go of the pulsing member and made a “Tsk” sound before nuzzling the soft pouch of skin attached underneath the straining manhood.

-Gunter…! Stop teasing…me. Gwendal panted as his smaller lover kissed his arousal.

Gunter stopped his ministration and crawled up to give Gwendal a sweet kiss.

Loosing his cool Gwendal rolled Gunter underneath himself and grabbed his wrist holding them down over Gunter’s head.

There was suddenly a tension in the room.

Gunter had stiffened and Gwendal could almost see the struggle going on inside his head.

-He… Like this… I’m sorry. Gunter whispered.

Gwendal didn’t let go of his wrist, instead he moved his grip so he was holding both Gunter’s wrists in one strong hand while gripping his chin tightly in his other.

-I am not him. I will not ever hurt you. Ever! Do you hear me Gunter? Gwendal growled fiercely.

Gunter watched his lover’s eyes carefully.

Somewhere he got to a decision with himself and smiled with all his love at Gwendal.

-I know. I’ve been under a lot of stress. Forgive me. Please…carry on. Gunter whispered and rubbed himself against his lover.

Growling Gwendal reached over to the bed table and retrieved the bottle of oil they kept there for these intimate moments.

Kissing and nipping at Gunter’s cheek and throat he carefully prepared his lover with his oiled fingers, years of practice making him rub Gunter’s spot almost instantly.

Straining against Gwendal’s strong grip on his wrists Gunter moaned and spread his legs wider.

Claiming Gunter’s swollen lips in another fierce kiss Gwendal used his free hand to oil his member, and then carefully he entered his lover.

Gwendal could never get tired of the feeling of being inside his love. There was nothing more beautiful for him them to feel Gunter’s inside like this. Even though this night had been the first time he’d ever cried infront of Gunter, he always felt like crying when he was with Gunter like this.

Moaning and whimpering his need Gunter brought his long legs around Gwendal’s waist and then brokenly whispered to him too make him feel loved.

Gwendal’s heart stung a little at Gunter’s broken request, but he sped up his rocking motions, kissing Gunter as he pounded him into the mattress making the lovely lavender haired man howl with pleasure.

The feeling of his lover’s powerful body over and inside him made Gunter feel so protected that he almost forgot about that this act once had been the most painful thing he’d ever experienced.

Letting go of Gunter’s wrist and putting his hands on each side of Gunter’s head while lifting is upper body somewhat, Gwendal pounded himself even more forceful into his lover, though he was never too forceful, always aware of his lover’s smaller and frailer body built Gwendal knew exactly how far he could push Gunter.

Grabbing and scratching Gwendal’s back Gunter screamed out his love for him as he came, Gwendal joining him in the blissful moment and filling him with his warm seed.

-I love you… I will be here for you. Forever. Gwendal murmured as he slowly pulled out from his lover and held him, careful not to put too much weight on him.

Gunter smiled at his lover’s words and kissed his damp forehead.

Nudging him gently to the side he brought Gwendal’s head to rest on his soft chest, gently humming and combing his fingers through the black strands.

This was love. This was what mattered.

This could never that one awful memory destroy. Never.

~FIN? ~TBC?