Bad Case of Loving You

Disclaimer: Obviously not my mine.

A/N: Ok, I’m updating anyways despite the lack of response. For the love of God this story’s had like almost a 100 hits and only 1 review! Wtf? Tell me you like or you don’t. I don’t care. I’d just like to know if it sucks or not. Many thousands of thanks to you dear Distraught Samurai for leaving me a review. :D Anyways, sorry for the rant. Here’s the next chapter.


Chapter Two


It had been two days since Umeda had been to work. He had called in and told them he was ill with the flu. He wasn’t in the mood to try to deal with spoiled, annoying high school kids, who thought their lives were so horrible. Hell, he barely had enough motivation to eat and pee besides sit on the couch all day in front of the tv. It was the spot he had found himself in after he’d finally been able to drag himself out of the bathroom. He didn’t know how long he had sat in there on the cold tiles before he was able to find the will to want to move again. It was beyond words to say that he was pissed when the doorbell rang, jarring him from his tv induced trance.
He flopped his head over to glare at the door as if that would will the person away. The continued doorbell ringing persisted despite his best jedi mind trick attempts to rid himself of the irritation. After a long debated moment (and realizing whoever was at the door wasn’t going away), he pushed himself up and shuffled towards the door. Maybe his horrid appearance would scare whoever it was away. He made quick work of undoing the lock then swung the door open just enough to peek around it.
“Ohayo, Umeda-sensei!!” Akiha’s over eager, loud voice made Umeda wince sharply.
The door was slamming shut before the words were all the way out of Akiha’s mouth. Unfortunately, the photographer managed to wedge his foot between the door and the door jam. Umeda growled angrily but slunk away from the door with out putting up anymore of a fight. He just didn’t have the energy. He flopped back onto the couch. He sprawling out length wise so the annoying photographer could not sit down.
“I came by to check on you, Umeda-sensei. Mizuki-chan told me you were sick so I had to come!” Akiha grinned, bounding into the living room. “I brought miso soup and tea...”
Umeda hardly moved when the photographer came to stand by the edge of the couch. Akiha frowned as he surveyed the doctor. It didn’t look like Umeda had showered in a day or two. There was stubble growing on his face, which the doctor never allowed. Dark rings smudged the sensitive skin under his eyes from lack of sleep. The near non-existent response to his antics was another tip off that something was very wrong. By now, Umeda should have been shouting at him to shut up and leave. He definitely would have tried to squish his foot in the door. May be the doctor was more ill than he thought.
“Umeda-sensei, are you dying!? What’s wrong? Should I call an ambulance!?” Akiha dropped his armload of gifts onto the table and started reaching for the phone.
A pillow flew off the couch and smacked him in the side of the head with enough force to make him stumble sideways. “Ow!” he whined, glancing over to see Umeda’s famous death glare. Ok, so maybe the doctor wasn’t that sick after all.
“I’m not sick, Akiha. Now go away,” Umeda snapped irritably.
“Not sick?” Akiha plopped down on the coffee table. “Then why haven’t you been at work?”
Umeda sighed heavily. “I can’t stand to be there right now.”
“That doesn’t make any sense,” the photographer remarked. “What happened?”
There was a long stretch of silence only dispersed by the sound of the tv blabbering away in the background. Akiha began to wonder if the doctor was going to speak again at all.
“I fucked Ryoichi.” The words were blunt and straight to the point. He didn’t care if it upset Akiha to hear it.
The photographer went still and quiet for perhaps the only time in his life. A sinking sensation began to form in the pit of his stomach. The love of his life had finally gotten what he wanted. What did that mean for Akiha? And what exactly about that could have made Umeda so upset? He waited in silence for the doctor to explain more.
“He’s getting married to some girl we knew in high school,” Umeda spoke softly. The words tasted like acid in his mouth. “He told me that after he fucked me.”
Akiha felt some of the pressure in his chest loosen. It felt terrible to be relieved about such a bad situation. Yet now the fear of losing Umeda to Ryoichi was finally gone. “That’s shitty,” he managed to say.
Umeda snorted rudely. “Not for you.”
“I’m upset that he hurt you so much. Don’t think I don’t care,” Akiha protested, despite knowing that’s not what he meant.
“Oh I know you care, but only that he’s finally out of the picture,” the doctor sniped right on target.
Akiha sighed. “I’ll admit that does relieve me. He was making you miserable. I just want to see you happy. And I think I could make you happy if you’d let me try. I love you, Umeda-sempai.”
“I’ve told you I don’t love you, nor do I have any interest!” Umeda snarled.
“Give me a chance. I know it’s really soon to be asking after everything that’s happened but let me try at least. I really do love you,” Akiha sat forward with an earnest expression on his face.
“Akiha, you don’t love me. So would you please quit this stupid puppy dog obsession you have with me!” Umeda snapped harshly. He’d had enough of being clung to and pursued despite every protest he made. “I can’t put up with this right now. I really want to be left alone.”
Akiha sat back and for the first time in a long time was completely speechless. If the doctor cared to look at him that moment he might have seen the devastation he had created from those few nasty sentences. “Why do you think I don’t love you?” he finally found his voice after a long stretch of silence.
Umeda glanced over with an angry glare. “You just recently divorced. You’re lonely. you suddenly run into me the, ‘ex-flame from college days’, and suddenly you love me once more. The whole thing’s bullshit. Just like in college I was a distraction to all your problems at the time. That’s all I am now. Frankly, I don’t care enough to put up with it anymore. I’m tired of being yanked around and used. Now get out!”
Akiha stared in shock at the man sitting in front of him as though he had never seen him before. Umeda had always yelled and gotten annoyed with him but never had he been so thoroughly hateful. The most hurtful thing of all was that Umeda truly believed what he had just said. That he would think Akiha would use him like that was worse than an insult. But what could he say right now to make the doctor believe that. Umeda had just been severely hurt by the man he had pined after for years. The last thing he wanted or could deal with was Akiha. The photographer knew it was time to retreat.
“I’ll go,” Akiha stood up. His voice was subdued, but he refused to show how hurt he felt. “At least eat the miso soup before it gets cold. The students really do miss you at the school, or at least, Mizuki-chan does.” He didn’t look back as he walked to the door and left. He hated himself for not being able to get angry at Umeda’s words to him. He hated himself for letting the doctor get to him so badly. He simply felt like his heart had been twisted around painfully in his chest. But still he found he couldn’t be angry or hateful at Umeda. It was amazing and painful how totally in love he was with the doctor. How could Umeda believe what he said? He didn’t think his heart had ever felt so close to breaking.

H.A.N.A K.I.M.I.

Umeda sat at his desk, but stared aimlessly out the window. It was his first day back to work since the Ryoichi incident. He’d decided staying at home wasn’t going to help him get over the heartache. Besides he needed a paycheck. He couldn’t keep skipping out of work. He wasn’t going to let Ryoichi ruin his life. He needed to get back into familiarity. Besides work would help get his mind off things...or so he’d thought. Thus far no one had even come to his office all morning. Apparently the students hadn’t missed him that much. Ungrateful little pukes.
He was actually relieved when the door swung open and Mizuki came in. Sometimes she could be so frustrating with her dense nature, but he did truly like her. She was smart, sincere, and sweet. She always managed to put things into perspective for him where she realized it or not. He couldn’t help but admire her for her courage and willpower. He wished sometimes he could be the same way. As silly as that sounded for a grown man to think such a thing.
“Welcome back, Umeda sensei,” she greeted with a warm smile.
Umeda felt himself smile back despite his gloomy attitude. “Thank you, Mizuki-chan.”
“We all missed you while you were sick,” she said.
“You mean you did,” he remarked casually.
She smiled. “Alright, I did. I think the others did too.”
Umeda shook his head. “Did anything happen while I was out sick?”
“Nope. I went to work for Akiha during the week,” Mizuki told him.
“Really?” he could already sense her motives.
She nodded. “He was really quiet and very unlike himself. I was a little worried about him.”
“He’ll be fine.” Umeda’s answer was curt and unsympathetic.
“He said you got angry at him,” she stated casually.
Umeda snorted. “When am I not?”
“This time was different, wasn’t it? I think you really hurt Akiha’s feelings. I don’t really know what happened but he hasn’t smiled in days,” Mizuki remarked with her trademark concerned expression.
Umeda gritted his teeth. “Mizuki, it’s none of your business.”
“Well, you’re both my friends. I just don’t want either of you to be unhappy,” she said quietly, looking down at her hands.
“As much as I appreciate your concern, Mizuki, I’m pretty sure I’m the adult here. I can take care of this myself. And I don’t need advice from a kid,” Umeda stood up, placed his hands on his desk, and leaned forward to give her his trademark glare.
Mizuki looked taken aback by his harsh words. “I’m sorry. I just wanted to help.”
Then Umeda felt like a complete ass. The poor girl didn’t deserve his wrath for just being herself. There was no point getting angry at her. “It’s not your fault,” he let the glare drop with a heavy sigh. “Don’t apologize. I’m just over stressed.”
“I understand, Sensei, but if you want someone to talk to...,” she looked relieved at the change in attitude.
Umeda refrained from rolling his eyes. Really the girl’s big heart was going to get her in to trouble. “Thank you, Mizuki. Akiha and I are not you’re concern right now. Don’t you have mid-terms to be studying for?”
Mizuki recognized the subtle dismissal and smiled despite still being worried. “You’re right. I’ll be going,” she bowed quickly. She glanced back once as she left the room. The look on Umeda’s face only increased her worry further. He looked exhausted but above all that he was sad. She knew when it was time to leave something alone for a little while though. The doctor had taught her that when it came to guys. So she held her tongue and closed the door firmly behind her.

H.A.N.A K.I.M.I.

Umeda ushered his last student out at the end of the school day. It felt like a day that would never end. All day it had been torture because in between the students coming and going there had been to much time to think. Everything that Ryoichi had done through out Umeda’s entire life had replayed over and over the moment that door closed behind another student. He walked back over to his desk and flopped down into his chair. He felt in that moment in time, sitting there in his office, that he was totally alone.
Kami, he was tired...and he wanted. For once in his life he wanted someone to look at him and see him. He didn’t want to be a distraction, a friend, or someone’s fuck toy. He wanted to be needed because he was loved not for some other stupid superficial reason. Was that really all that much to ask for? At 27 years old, he felt like he had been living his entire life searching for something, coming close to it, and yet never quite catching it. He was sick of it–frustrated and angry.
He was surrounded by people all the time and yet none of them truly knew him. He was a doctor so the student came to him for aid. On their part that was all they cared about. He was just that crazy doctor. The few friends he had he held at a distance. He felt cut off even in the relationships he’d tried to be serious about. It was only ever about sex and the companionship while it lasted. There was never any true personal closeness. Yes, it was part his fault. He never allowed anyone in. And why?
The why of it he already knew.
The one person he wanted to truly know him had only ever acknowledged him when it was convenient. They had just been friends. Ryoichi had never really acted like his friend either. Friends confided in each other and were there for each other. They had never been that way. He would have been over joyed if he’d even gotten that kind of attention from Ryoichi. He’d been useful to Ryoichi only when he was needed. That was all. He never called Umeda just to say ‘Hey, let’s go hang out.’ Foolishly, Umeda had hung around for years waiting. He’d longed for Ryoichi’s attention like a drowning man yearned for air. He’d been drowning for years and slowly the air had all leaked away. Just thinking how long he’d chased Ryoichi made him feel old and even more alone.
He sighed heavily as he racked his fingers through his hair. He wished at the moment he had even a short term lover to take out some of the built up emotions on. He needed some way to get rid of the tension. There was no one though. The last lover he had fell in love with someone else and left him. The college boy had been a wonderful reprieve with no strings attached, but when he left Umeda had been alone once again.
He contemplated maybe going over to one of the male clubs were the younger gay community liked to hang out. He really didn’t have the heart to. He wasn’t in the mood try to pick up a quick screw or a two week affair. What he wanted was something more permanent. What he wanted was Ryoichi to wake up and confess his love to Umeda. That was never going to happen now. He’d been running on neutral for to many years now waiting for Ryoichi that he had no idea how to move on. He wanted it done with– really he did. He’d had more than he could take. He honestly wanted to let go. But how could he just erase everything he’d felt after so long. It had become an ingrained part of his nature.
“Fuck it,” he growled. There was no sense staying around his apartment to get drunk and be lonely by himself. He needed a distraction. He needed a way to forget about Ryoichi
He got up and grabbed his jacket before heading to one of his favorite gay bars in town.

H.A.N.A K.I.M.I.

“I’ve seen you here a lot. Do you mind if I ask your name?” a strong, confident voice interrupted Umeda’s thoughts just by his right shoulder.
“Umeda Hokuto,” he answered, with hardly a glance upwards. It was enough to confirm that it was a college kid that had wandered over to pouch him. He took another short drag on his cigarette, breathing out the smoke before he took another sip of his rum and coke.
The kid sat down beside him motioning for the bar tender to bring him a drink. He sat quiet for a moment before turning back towards Umeda. “I know you’re not a college student. My friend, Wakase Reiji, told me you’re a doctor.”
Umeda’s eye narrowed as a struggled to remember the name that went with that face. Then it came to him. That boy had been a college senior, bleached blond hair and expressive eyes, an enthusiastic lover and a great cock sucker. Umeda snorted in amusement at that thought. “Did he?”
“He said you were the best top he’d ever had,” the kid remarked.
The doctor arched an eyebrow. He’d been called that quite a few times before. It was amusing every time to hear the kind of reputation he’d built up in this place. The kid’s bluntness was also somewhat refreshing. He wasn’t usually one to dance around what he wanted in the bedroom department. He tried not to think about the situation of his love life. The need for love didn’t go past the doors of this club. All that belonged here was lust and want.
He remained silent, waiting for the kid to go on, knowing he would.
“I was wondering if you ever bottomed for anyone?” the kid looked him square in the eyes.
Umeda had to smirk. He turned his head to look at the kid directly for the first time. He let his eyes wonder over the college boy. He liked what he saw. The kid was pretty damn good looking. His black hair was cropped short and spiked with the tips of his hair dyed blue. He had a mature yet still youthful look to his face. His eyes were a soft almost liquor brown. He was tall, but not taller than Umeda. He had a hard, trim build to him that spoke of time spent on athletics. He wore a black shirt with a bright blue cross dividing it, black cargo pants, black fingerless gloves, worn black boots, and a collar around his neck. He definitely had the confident, bold look of a typical top. “I’ll give you points for bluntness, kid, but I rarely play bottom to anyone.”
“Not your kind of thing?”
“I don’t do well with submission. And there’s only one I’d willingly do that for,” Umeda replied easily, tapping the ash off the end of his cigarette.
“Would you be interested in doing it for me?” the kid asked in a straight forward manner.
This kid was definitely starting to catch his attention.
“Why do you want me, kid? There’s a dozen cute boy toys in here that would bottom for a good looking guy like you without hesitation. Go ask one of them,” he took another languorous drag on his cigarette.
“Because I can’t stop picturing your gorgeous face underneath me. I wanna see it for real,” the kid looked earnest. There was no cheap pick up line involved in that confession. He’d just said what was on his mind.
Umeda stilled for a moment, considering, before he sipped at his drink once more. “You’re serious about this, huh?”
“It only has to be once if that’s all you want,” the kid answered honestly.
“I hate to disappoint, kid, but I’m really not in the mood to play bitch.”
The kid smirked back at him. “Then why are you here? You don’t look in the mood to play top either.”
Umeda paused. Stupid egotistical college brat. When did kids start getting so forward? For that matter, when did they start getting that damn good at reading people. He’d always prided himself on being an enigma. He never gave away what he really wanted. Honestly thought he was beginning to like the kid. “What’s your name?”
“Tadame Sei.”
Umeda stubbed out his cigarette and pinned the kid with his most intimidating sneer. “Sei-chan, what makes you think you could handle me?”
Tadame Sei didn’t flinch at the stupid nick name or the look. “Because I enjoy a rough challenge.”
“Is that all it is then?”
“No one’s ever here for more than that.”
“True enough.” He made up his mind in less than a second. It was what he had come for. He needed rough right now. He needed to forget what his heart truly longed for. He needed to be screwed until he bled. Maybe it would erase the feel of Ryoichi branded inside him. “Let’s get out of here,” he said before standing up and shoving his hands into his jacket pockets.
H.A.N.A K.I.M.I.

The kid didn’t lie when he said he liked to ride it rough. He had to stifle his screams as his hands began to cramp from the force of the hold he had locked around his own bedposts. He didn’t care. It was exquisite agony. Pain mixed into excruciating pleasure, burning through him in breath taking waves. For a few minutes, he pretended the white flames of painful gratification were eating away his insides to turn his soul to ash. He moaned low in his throat as Sei continued to pound into him from behind as sweat trickled down his spin. It was torture and it was mind blowing.
He growled angrily when the kid pulled out of him. He didn’t protest again when Sei shoved him down on to his back before thrusting into him once again. He unlocked stiff fingers from the bed post to bury one hand in the kid’s thick curls and clasped his ass with the other hand. He huffed out a pained breath when the kid pushed one of his legs up to his chest while the other was raised to drape over Sei’s arm. The position was an odd one. He moaned deep as the angle changed when the kid began to pound into him once more. It was all he could do not to come undone from the depth and angle Sei’s cock was reaching inside him.
He felt like he was going to shatter but he didn’t want to let go yet. The kid wanted a challenge. He was giving him one, but he wasn’t ready to give up just yet and let go. He trailed his fingers down the seam of his lover’s ass before finding the kid’s own opening. He watched Sei’s face as he circled the opening. He smirked as Sei growled a warning. He laughed at the kid’s anger in him for threatening his dominance. Well, he was no one’s bitch no matter what the kid thought.
With that thought, he shoved two fingers inside the kid with out remorse to not having any lotion or lubrication to smooth the way. Sei hissed in sharp pain, thrusting into him rough and deep as his hips jerked forward in response to the invasion. The kid’s hips stuttered as Umeda began to thrust fingers in and out, crocking them just so each time he nudged past that sweet spot. Could the kid keep up his relentless pace while he tortured him or would he fall short? Sei gritted his teeth; recognizing the clear challenge. He began to fuck Umeda harder as the doctor’s fingers worked him into a frenzy.
Sei’s hand came up to wrap around Umeda’s hard length, sliding from root to tip with a firm stroke. Umeda groaned as he arched upwards, working desperately to keep his fingers moving as his body trembled. The hand on his cock moved with practiced ease, sending him rocketing into a whole new realm of heart pounding pleasure. They moved frantically against each other as their control began to slip and orgasm began to draw agonizingly closer. They worked each other harder until pain could no longer be distinguished from pleasure. It was all one. It was all sensation. It was fire through their veins and shockwaves down their spins. Then Umeda lost it, crying out in bliss as his orgasm crashed through him. He barely heard Sei follow him half a heart beat later. He was lost in his own crushing wave of mind numbing euphoria.
He came back down slow, panting hard, feeling the warm weight of Sei resting on him. For once his prickly nature didn’t have him shoving the kid off. He definitely didn’t mind that Sei was still buried inside him as he pressed soft, warm kisses on his neck. Somehow he hadn’t expected the kid to be like this when it was over. He was more surprised by this then if the kid had jumped off and left as soon as he caught his breath. He would have been ok with that, but somehow this gentle show of attention was undoing him. It made his chest feel tight as he lay still, hand still cradling Sei’s ass. Ryoichi hadn’t touched him like this when they’d finished.
Then Sei raised his head and pressed an achingly soft, gentle kiss on Umeda’s lips. He sucked in a sharp shuttering breath, trying to hold back the sob that welled up in his throat. He trembled as the younger man kissed him again just the same way. He didn’t even notice when his arms wrapped themselves around the kid’s back; nor the silent tears that trekked down his face as he surrendered completely. He let Sei kiss him into sleep.

H.A.N.A. K.I.M.I.

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