Broken English

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Duo was born in Spain during a time when his mother was ‘finding herself’. This consisted of being single and in a foreign country with a baby from a one-night stand. When he was five they had moved back to Ireland, where her family was. For the next six years he grew up under the loving eyes of his grandmother while his mother tried to establish herself as an independent artist. She had met a charming man in her gallery and after dating for a month they were married. Four years later his step-father died unexpectedly and they were again alone. During the next year Duo had noticed his mother having episodes of erratic behavior. Some days she was elated and other days it was best to avoid her seemingly unprovoked rage. Some nights he would find her sobbing uncontrollably in her room, an empty bottle of vodka by her bed. A few times he’d come home from school with her rushing to meet him, wearing nothing but a satin robe. She would scurry the teen off to his room and rattle off a list of questions. He wondered about the front door closing, but never asked if there was someone else in the house. Then one evening Duo was introduced to his soon to be step-father. He could care less about who the man was or what role he would play in his life, so he dismissed him for the moment. At fifteen he was more interested in what boy he could get his lips on and legs around than his mother’s personal life.
Living in a small town didn’t allow many options of partners for him. A town full of devout Catholics who would rather you commit murder then be a homosexual. Duo didn’t dwell on his preferences, just went along with his urges. He just made sure he was extremely discrete about it. Everything in that town was discrete, just like everything in his house became a big secret too.
When his step-father wasn’t beating and demanding sex on command from Duo’s mother, he was beating and raping Duo. At the time Duo had no knowledge how evil this man was to his mother. She hid it well believing if she put up with her husbands actions that her son would be left alone. The teen, on the other hand, being threatened with his mother’s life was condemned to stay silent. The cracked skull, the broken jaw, the bruises and scratches were all explained away by Duo’s clumsiness. Until the day the beating was too extreme…
She had come home from work to a silent house. Of that she was thankful. She had hung up her jumper and flipped through the post. A splash on the wall caught her peripheral view. Looking more closely she realized it was blood tailed along the wall from the front door to Duo’s room, or was it from his room to the front? The next thing she remembered is screaming staring down and Duo’s limp naked body. Hearing him gasp for breath she turned him to face up at her. She didn’t need an explanation. She had lived through it for the past 18 months herself.
“It’s over, baby. I promise. He will never touch us again.”
After the hospital, after the police interrogation, after the court, after moving to Scotland, after mum finding another man to marry, after spending a year in depressed seclusion, after being shuffled off to his uncle’s for a month to get some male influence and hard labor, after having to put up with suddenly having siblings, after trying desperately to un-gay himself by having sex with a female classmate, after all that; Duo decided to start his life over; turn a new page, get reacquainted with himself. This positive affirmation lasted about seven seconds. In those seven seconds he closed his bedroom door, walked down the hall and turned to proceed down the stairs. Not seeing the box of comic books his step sister left on the landing, Duo’s decent down the stairs ended with him in a half body cast for six months in order to repair his broken hip. During that time his mother got divorced and they moved back to Ireland. Duo was seriously confused and his mother’s increased mental instability had gone from being unnerving to a clinical mental disability. She no longer had to work and the government financed her romantic delusions. Duo started to realize that as much as his mother had to of loved him, she was too wrapped up in her own world to notice he existed most of the time.
Amazingly enough to Duo’s family he decided to further his education and go on to college. His grandmother was proud of his decision to become a journalist. His mother would have been fine with it until he told her where he was going to college.
“Englan’! You ‘ave to be doin’ tha’ ta ‘urt meh!”
“ Mum, they have a better program for writing. And I, … I need to ‘ave my own life now. It’ll be good. An’ I’ll be home durin’ Christmas and summer holiday.”
“ I noh the truth, ya just wanna ‘urt meh like ya do sayin’ ya is gay ‘cause I know ya not.”
“I am gay and I am going to college in Englan’.” Duo was exasperated.
“Well, mebbeh you’ll meet a nice blonde girl and things will turn you ‘round.”

Duo wanted to get away from the insanity and build a life for himself in a new town where no one knew him. He also had hoped that his mother would in turn pull herself back together and stop jumping from man to man. Maybe somewhere inside neither of them had recovered from the abuse and just kept it buried. He intended to leave it buried…or at least confined to the Belfast prison. He’d go someplace where //it// wouldn’t be able to find him.

Durshire was perfect. Actually far from perfect but the ratio of Asian students to Caucasian made it have such a delectable scenery that strolling the streets or a ride on the bus was always satisfying. The college made sure that Duo got tutors to assist with his learning disabilities and the first year flew by. One of his tutors was a breath taking Korean. Unfortunate for Duo, Sel was a breath taking – straight - Korean, but that sealed it. Duo one day would find himself a hawt little Asian boy to make passionate love to all night long. Now if he could only make him materialize.
He had met Trowa at the mechanics shop where he had taken his moped to get tuned up and struck up a friendship that at times got a bit frisky after a few hours at the pub. Nothing serious though. One evening at a dance club an adorable blond approached Duo and asked if he could dance with him. The two spent hours bouncing, shaking and grinding. This petite blond was not just a great dancer but pretty as pretty could be, for a boy. He was just the kind of guy that Trowa would be interested in. So Duo made the decision to introduce them. It started out as a casual threesome, though quickly turned into a serious relationship between Trowa and Quatra. Duo was truly happy for them both. It was rare for two people, regardless of their sexuality, to find such a true happiness at that age.
The summer holiday going back to his mum’s was far from a break. She was all a flurry making yet more wedding plans and setting up her art exhibitions. It seemed that the moment he had stepped off the ferry she gave him chores to do and made sure he was paired to do them with his new step sister. To get away from the chores and the sister, nice as she was, he got odd jobs cleaning offices in town. It put money in his pocket and gave him a reprieve from the chaos of yet another tossed together family. Where on earth did his mum find these men?
To chew up the remainder of his hours during the day and night he wrote his fanfiction, poured his soul out in blogs and enveloped himself in the world of SIM. The past year at college had presented him with a homeless cat that gave birth shortly thereafter and so his brood of felines sated his need for companionship. He couldn’t wait to get back to school. Oh, it was definitely taxing on the brain but nothing like where he was that summer. He started to wonder if his mother was right about calling him a recluse. He just couldn’t be himself there. After the wedding he was determined to leave a few weeks ahead of schedule under the pretense of finding a real flat instead of one provided by the housing department of the college. It’d be easier than trying to hide the cats, and no check-in of ‘guests’. It was when he announced he was getting his own place he was informed that his new sister would also be attending the same college in Durshire. Could things get ANY WORSE? He’d have a permanent baby sitter. Relena saw the despair in Duo’s eyes when he was told so later that night she cornered him and explained her own concerns.
“My father still thinks of me as a child and I believe your mum pushed for me to go there because if I needed anyone I would have you. I don’t you know. I don’t need someone to watch over me. I can take care of myself.”
“Phew, you have no idea how glad I am to hear you say that because I though they put you up to going there to keep an eye on me!” Both laughed in relief.
That was the start of a wonderful friendship between the two. It was also the start of another year of possibilities.

Duo found a tiny one room flat that allowed pets and down the street Relena partnered up with a second year gal, Sally, who put up a bulletin for a roommate. They kept up the façade offering “information” to the others parent. Neither mother nor father knowing that the young adults were in cahoots with each other and the “information” was white shadows of the truth.
The first day of classes Duo sat in the back of most, just so he could get a feel for who was around. He was not one to eagerly warm up to anyone, at least until Treize walked into psychology. ‘Now that piece I’d so like to warm up to, and then down, and then up…’ he didn’t realize he was staring until the slightly older student approached him. Their eyes locked as Treize walked down the aisle and even as he elegantly sat beside the lilac colored doe eyed boy their gaze remained fixed.
“First year or second?” a deep rich voice startled Duo. He felt heat rush to his thighs.
“Second.” He broke eye contact feeling his cheeks flush.
The instructor walked in at that moment and started writing on the board. Treize leaned over to whisper in Duo’s ear, “This’ll be my fourth. Kind of a professional student you could say.” The light spicy cologne lingered around where the man had just been. Deeply inhaling the scent enhanced the effect the ginger haired man on Duo and his arousal near unbearable in the tight jeans he had on. As the instructor introduced himself and explained the syllabus Duo closed his eyes and gently bit his lower lip. Damn that man. Elegant, poised, alluring … liquid timbered voice and fine smelling too. This was gunna be a good year. Well, if this guy wasn’t het like most seemed to be.
His long lashed lids flew open at the next statement whispered in his ear, “Nice.” He glanced at the man nearly going nose to nose with him. Treise looked down at Duo’s lap and back into his eyes, “Quite… nice.” Then he winked and resumed his position of wrapped attention focused on the teacher.
‘Ok. Not het. This … is…’
“Please read the first five chapters as I will be quizzing you on them during our next class,” boomed through his thoughts
‘This sucks, that’s what this is.’
After fifty minutes the students were dismissed and Duo gathered up his notes and books, stuffing them into his messenger bag. As he darted to leave his wrist was captured and he was pulled around to look yet again into dark sultry eyes.
“Call me,” a slip of paper was tucked into his front pocket slowly, “We can, ya know, revise these chapters together if you’d like.” Treize dropped his wrist and simply walked away.
If Duo had paid more attention to the way he grabbed his wrist instead of the way he tucked in the paper he might have gotten a premonition. Treize certainly put on a debonair appearance. Duo was hooked in an instant.

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Heero settled back under the covers after reminiscing about Duo’s childhood. As he drifted off to sleep, tired from the emotions the young man’s history churned inside him, the thought of how it felt to hold the fey being close and whispering ‘Goodnight, Doll. Know you are loved completely’ passed through him as a tear slid down his temple.
He’d call him in the morning.

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A.N. I Want To be Loved title taken from Bon Jovi