The Mello Code

Matt glanced up as the telephone rang. It was the house phone and rarely used except for access in some of his hacks. When it did ring, it was almost certainly Hal Lidner on the other end. He let it ring out five times, certain that Mello would pick up. The bell sounded too intrusive and he grabbed at the receiver, just as his husband did answer it. "Got it, Matt." Came the call from the other room, heard through the telephone.



Matt hung up, but wandered through to Mello's study anyway. The blond had already told him that his case had come via Hal, not the Watari Network, but from her own contacts within the American civil authorities. As predicted, Mello had his call on speakerphone, which freed him to eat chocolate and still scroll through his files, whilst talking to her. Hal sounded a little nervous as she spoke, "Mello, you said I could phone you if I had a problem with any of my charges, that I believed Near couldn't help with."



"Yep." Mello typed 'Peru' into a little circle on his screen. "This had better not be about wallpaper."



"No, it's about my charges, as I already said."



"Ok, what have the little shits been up to now?"



"It's not the children." Hal sighed. "It's this fucking minefield that you lot have all engineered for me to walk through. The discrepancy between Wammy's House being a sanctuary for its alumni and the conflicting duty for us to act as the state might with an ordinary citizen. Do you realise how impossible that is to administrate?"



Mello smirked. "Then put it on the agenda for the next meeting and pass it back to us."



"I'm not sure how that got past minds like yours in the first place." Hal snapped. "Though I do have a theory that it will remain a grey area until next September."



Mello and Matt exchanged surprised glances. Mello smiled. "I can't think why you might believe that to be the case."



"Because I sit in those meetings, Mello. I know that all of you have vested interests in ensuring that the provision is there, but keeping the terms vague enough to be manipulated." She swallowed against her rising exasperation and succeeded in keeping her tone neutral. "So far, Salvo, then Fenian, then Chrissie have all suggested that discussion be postponed until the next meeting, then the next. Do you know what strikes me as suspicious about those names? They are all the closest circle around Century. He was seventeen a couple of months ago, which means that he will be eighteen next September. He knows that the second this thing is clarified, I am going to request that he moves back into this House. Once he's eighteen, then the duty of care surrounding him changes to that shared by the rest of you. Mello, are you or are you not closing ranks to protect Century?"



"I am not."



"But the others are."



Mello flicked to another sheet of circles on his screen, comparing it with the first. "Probably."



"Then this agenda item is going to be postponed for nearly another year." Hal growled. "By which time I may just decide that I'm not enjoying my secondment and I will go back to Near, where I belong."



The Slav sat back, all attentiveness now. "Halle, baby, you are doing such a great job there. I knew you were perfect in the first place, but since you've sat in that office, so much as moved on. It's impressed me. You've surpassed even my high expectations of you."



"Mello, stop bullshitting and listen to me. I've been going through all of your files and there are three, maybe four, people for whom a state authority might intervene. You want me to pass this up? You want me to send the details to each of the Board, knowing full well that you've set it up so that one person dissenting means that it doesn't happen. Can you not see the inherent flaw here?" She sounded cross now and Mello rolled his eyes, as he licked his chocolate. Hal plunged on. "Take Century, now that I've mentioned him. I know that the provision for sixteen year olds to leave was written with him in mind. However, there were clauses. The big one is that Watari has to firstly approve the accommodation and secondly monitor it. He supposed to be living with Salvo, Chrissie and the baby, but no-one will give me their address. How am I supposed to ensure that he's receiving the right care there then? The resolution states that I am within my rights to bring him back to Wammy's House in those circumstances. But before I can do that, I have to have unanimous approval from each member of the Board, those ranks include Century!"



"That is quite a conundrum." Mello agreed. "The other three you mentioned, is Matt still one of them?"



"Yes." Hal replied, warily. "I know how you described your relationship and I have no problem with that personally, between two consenting adults, but..." She hesitated, then let the implication hang in the air.



"But what Hal?"



"But we're yet to ascertain that he is a consenting adult."



"You mean in mental age?" Mello chuckled. Beside him, Matt was already silently smirking. He bobbed his tongue out at the blond.



Hal sighed in frustration. "It was the consent more than the age, Mello. His psychological records make disturbing reading on that score. Roger said that he is neurotically dependent on you and has a history of lying to cover your back." She made a clicking noise with her tongue. "And yes, I am well aware that I shouldn't be telling you that, but the sooner you can prove that this isn't the case, then the sooner he's not my problem."



"Ok." Mello lowered his chocolate. "Matt, do you consent to hot, violent sex?"



Matt laughed. "Yes. Every time."



Hal took a sharp intake of breath. "Please don't try to embarrass me, Mello. I am doing my best here with the mess that you pair both landed me in."



"Sorry." Mello grinned. "Was that enough? And yes, he is sitting right next to me and this is on speakerphone."



"No, it wasn't enough. He has just said precisely what I would expect him to say in these circumstances. This is absolutely no proof that there isn't coercion involved."



"Ok. Matt, do I coerce you into having hot, violent sex?"



"Yeah. It's great." Matt grinned. "Though perhaps that isn't coercion in the fullest sense of the word."



"Hal! I have an idea." Mello sniggered. "I'll switch on the webcam, then fuck his brains out with you watching and you will be able to see his reactions..."



"Mello." Hal interjected sternly. "Will you please stop taking the piss?"



Both men roared with laughter. Mello reached out to draw Matt to him by his collar and to kiss him loudly on the lips. Hal could hear them. They heard her sighing again. Matt winked at Mello and cried out, "No, Mello! Please don't kiss me! I don't want you to! Noooo!"



"Yeah you do." Mello kissed him loudly again. "Kiss me, bitch!"



"No, no!" Matt protested and the pair of them dissolved into loud mirth again. "Kiss me, bitch?" Matt choked out. "Where the Hell did that come from?"



Mello shook his head, shoulders twitching with the coda of hilarity. "I don't know. But do it again. Kiss me, bitch."



"Ok stop!" Hal said, firmly. "This is my decision. In contravention of the very code that you pair instigated, I'm telling you categorically that Wammy's House will not intervene between you, unless..." She breathed, obviously considering her words. "Ok, yes, unless Matt contacts us himself and asks for assistance."



Matt sucked in a breath. "Well, that's me fucked then. I'm under Mello's control and I'm too neurotically dependent to act on my own. How am I supposed to break free long enough to get help?"



Hal growled. "Matt, please? If I thought for one minute that you were in any real danger, then we wouldn't be having this conversation. I took orders last time and played it by the book..."



"You didn't." Mello interupted. "You let me free to go into the Infirmary to him, where I was able to influence his actions."



"Fine!" Hal exclaimed. "Seeing as you're both contesting my decision, then I'll leave him on my To Do list and see that he's sectioned and Mello, consider yourself arrested the next time our paths cross. Ok?"



"Pwnt." Matt nodded.



Mello smiled. "You're right, Hal. You've got us. We're being immature gobswipes and you're just trying to do your job. You may cross him off your list. The man's a genius. If he wanted to evade me, I wouldn't see him for dust; and you can tell by the fact that he's a smartass bastard that he's not cowed by me. Is that enough evidence now?" She didn't respond "Hal?"



"Ok." She replied, after a considering it. "So what do I do about Century?"



Mello replied, "Just leave him alone. Even if you bring him back, you're going to have to have him locked in his room until he's eighteen. Even then I doubt you could hold him. He holds the record for sheer quantity of times any child has run away from Wammy's House. Most of those times, he was only found, because he walked back in the gates of his own accord. Your primary concern is to keep him safe. He sounds safe enough to me. Actually, thinking about it, you can get your evaluation done. Ask the Board for help, I'll nominate Chrissie to do the evaluation. Your paperwork is intact, Century's fine and everyone's happy. Next?"



"Lamond."



"The anorexia?" Mello wrinkled his nose, looking back to his files. "How close is she to actual death?"



"I don't know, she won't submit to a health check."



"Right." Mello typed 'Venezuela' underneath 'Peru'. "Talk to Fenian and get him to talk to Lamond. She fancies the arse off him. Next?"



"Luigi."



Mello frowned. "What's up with Luigi?"



"He's my maybe. He was coming in for regular counselling sessions with Roger, then the second that I took over and Valerie was appointed for psychological evaluations, he stopped coming."



Mello opened a browser and logged into the MayDay Line programme. He glanced down the list of those cases recently solved or evaluated and passed up. "Ok, Lu's fine. He was dealing with cases at," Mello paused and double-checked what his initial glance had told him, "20 past 4 this morning." He clicked to open one and random, quickly skim-reading it. "His deductive faculties seem fine to me. Luigi's fine. Send him an e-mail offering sessions with Valerie, but if he ignores it, leave him be. He's probably better now. Next?"



"You've met with Jason and taken the case." Hal stated, calmly. "I thought you were going to just think about it and get back to me?" Mello bit into his chocolate and hunched his shoulders, staring fixedly at the screen with his notes on it. "Mello, if Near finds out that I didn't direct a case of this magnitude to him, what kind of job security do you think that that offers? You were only supposed to be evaluating it for me, as my friend."



"I did evaluate it." Mello smiled. "I concluded that you wouldn't want to bother Near with it and so I ought to take it on myself."



"So you contacted Jason directly, without involving me at all?" Hal pressed on. "Mello, I know what kind of reward was being offered. I strongly suspect that it was L's league. Please remind me never to trust you again."



Mello's head rose out of his shoulders again and he grinned at the phone. "You trusted me?"



Hal sighed. "I'm going now. Thank you for your assistance with the alumni problem. Matt contact me if you're out of your depth. If you're not, then can you just smack that impossible, blond wanker on my behalf." Matt immediately reached out and slapped Mello's bare arm. It connected loudly and left a red handprint. Mello instantly smacked him back. "Ok! I'm going. Bye."



"Bye Hal." Matt smiled.



"Bye, darling." Mello signalled for Matt to cut the connection, which he did. "Reckon we just dodged a bullet then?"



Matt nodded. "Looks like it. Did she mean that your blondness is impossible? Or it's impossible for you to wank?"



"I took it to be more generally impossible. Kind of like a superhero." Mello smirked. "Fancy moving your neurotically dependent arse into the kitchen and making me a hot chocolate?"



"No. It's your turn." Matt lit a cigarette.



"One of us working on a case. The other one is busy perfecting his Mario scores. Who do you think is more usefully diverted towards the kettle?"



Matt shook his head. "No, I'm not. I've been playing 'True Crime: Streets of LA'."



Mello's eyes slid across to look at him; his whole head followed. "That's a real game?"



"Yes. Some criminal gangs have taken over LA and I'm the cop who has to, like, take them down. It started off good, but it's getting a bit restrictive now." Matt smirked. "I wonder if Hal would still think the same about my overall safety, if she knew what you've done to me."



Mello sighed. "Matt, I really am trying to concentrate on this. A hot chocolate would be lovely, but if you're going to be a stubborn bastard over it, will you at least just sod off back to your own study? I know what you're playing at. You're just trying to wind me up. I've done nothing to you that you don't want me to do. Now go away." As an afterthought, he pointed his chocolate at the telephone. "Call Hal back and complain about me, if you're that hard done to."



Matt raised his hands in mock surrender and stood up. "Ok, I'm making you a hot chocolate. Keep your hair on. But you need to get your head out your arse and make a decision about Catholic class." He shrugged as he walked away. "It starts tomorrow night. The ball's in your court."



He was halfway down the stairs before Mello dashed out and leaned over the landing bannister. "Why is it in my court? I've told you that it's a really sweet offer, but your spirituality is your concern. I'm not forcing you to convert to Catholicism."



The redhead gazed across the expanse between them. "You're being cool and very PC about it now, but when I first mentioned I'd get myself baptised, I saw the look in your eyes. It secretly eats away at you. If it gives you peace of mind to know that we're both going to end up in the same bit of Hell, then I'll ensure I'm not in the unbaptized section. As I said, ball's in your court, because for this to happen, you've first got to be comfortable with me being out of this house."



Mello pursed his lips. "Your spirituality is your concern." He turned away.



"Mihael." Matt called and the blond stopped to look back. "Hand on heart, would you like to know that I've been baptised?"



Mello nodded, then quickly added. "But it's not part of your beliefs, so I'm not forcing you into it. I've never been an evangelist."



"So you're not going to get paranoid when I get into my car tomorrow night?" Matt realised that he was sucking on a burnt out cigarette butt, so took it out and held it in his hand. "Incidentally being the first time I've left this house in probably over a month now. You get angsty if I even say I'm popping to the garage for cigarettes and so end up going yourself. You've put locators in my jacket and on my keyring. There's a tracker in my car and a GPS chip in my phone. The only reason you didn't attach one to my goggles is because you worried about brain cancer from the signal. I'm just saying, ok? A paranoid and possessive Mello does not make for a happy Mello when I go to Catholic class tomorrow. Ball's in your court."



Mello just shrugged and returned to his study.