The Strap-On Diaries

Exposure
By Eline

An Euphie/Suzaku pegging request from the kink-meme that I was trying to get done.

Euphi/masozaku, post-Kaminejima. Spoilers too. It’s not that humorous and a bit dark. Other implied dark topics.

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Suzaku was extremely surprised that he had not been court-marshalled after the events on Kaminejima. But then again, the Second Prince had a hand in that, so it was not that surprising that he was back on duty very shortly after.

The other surprise had been Euphemia’s summons a few days later. She was usually quite reluctant to call him out of school. He was supposed to concentrate on finishing his education.

He was shown into her private sitting room of her quarters. Left alone in the middle of the plush carpet and elegant furnishings, Suzaku remained standing, acutely uncomfortable in the feminine surroundings of the--his princess’ rooms. She had accept him back as her knight despite his first resignation.

Said princess entered a few moments later. She looked like she was dressed for riding in full equestrian gear. All that was missing was the hard round riding hat that Britannian horsemen fancied. Very aesthetically pleasing even for riding wear, he supposed, but he knew nothing about Britannian women’s fashion.

"Suzaku . . . How is school?" she asked without preamble. She sat down and motioned him to another chair. Suzaku sat after a moment’s hesitation. Something told him that it was not done for a knight to be so casual in front of royalty.

"It's fine. The Student Council is really fun even though they're usually very busy," he added when his answer seemed a little short even to him. "Thank you for sending to Ashford."

"You're doing all right? No problems since you were knighted?" She had put a particular emphasis on problems that made Suzaku flinch. "No more vandalism?"

Suzaku tried to keep his expression blandly neutral, forcing his face to parade-march stiffness. Who had told her? Who else knew?

"You never said anything to the teachers or the principal?"

She was disappointed in him, Suzaku could tell. It was as though he had a poisoned touch--everything he came in contact with soured and turned grimy.

"It didn't matter. They were just harmless pranks."

He could see from her face, the slight tightening around the eyes that that had been the wrong answer. Her sense of right and wrong was not blunted by contact with the real world. In that respect, she was braver than Suzaku.

The traitorous thoughts at the back of his mind whispered that she was a princess who had never known discrimination or repercussions for not toeing the line. Suzaku shut them out. Those without power had to adapt.

"So all that about wanting to change things for the Japanese was . . . just talk?"

"No, of course not--"

"Then why didn't you make a start in your school?" Euphie looked at him directly and her tone was very much the same as the one she used to stop the KMF battle between members of the Purist faction. "I sent you to Ashford because it was one of the more progressive and open-minded schools. Or so I thought."

"Reporting some kids for a prank isn't going to change anything."

"Even when you're the one being hurt?" she asked. Something in her tone told him that she knew the details of the "pranks". "Then I have failed. I thought I was making things better for you--"

"You did, Euphie." Suzaku wanted her to know that knowing her had made his life so much better just by existing. But he was not skilled with words and he had been brought up in a household where men were not expected to be expressive.

"I failed because you still don't think you deserve to be treated like a real person."

That was not her fault. Never her fault. It had been his own hand that had acted on its own accord, all those years ago.

Studying him carefully as the resulting silence stretched past uncomfortable to downright tense, Euphie sighed and stood up. “Suzaku, take your clothes off.”

“What--I mean, I beg your pardon, Your Highness--” He thought his ears were deceiving him

"Why do you have such a problem with that kind of order when you followed my orders to kill?" She sounded . . . angry and this was not a dainty fit of pique.

"But you didn't--"

"I did! By sending you out there in an armed Knightmare Frame and telling you to prove yourself!" Euphie said. Her tone did not allow for any arguments whatsoever. "So I am telling you to take your clothes off now!"

Button by button, the uniform tunic came off. His pants followed and he folded each piece of clothing carefully. Half a lifetime of following orders had taught Suzaku that the Britannian language had its own specific nuances. Which was why he paused when he reached his underwear and looked up at her.

She nodded decisively, two faint pink splotches of colour high on her cheers.

Being in the army had inured Suzaku to cramped spaces and disabused him of the notion of personal space and privacy. The communal showers in the military had no stalls and being naked in front of his peers was one thing--

The princess--Euphie--was a different thing all together. Exposed to her gaze and naked for all intents and purposes, he wished that he could shrink and hide. But there was one part of him that was not shrinking and Suzaku was all too aware of it as he stood at semi-attention with his hands clenched loosely by his side.

“Kururugi Suzaku, as my knight, you are required to follow my orders, correct?”

He nodded, not trusting himself to speak.

“Kneel, Sir Kururugi.”

The standard position was one knee in front and one knee behind--

“Not formally,” she said as he moved to obey.

Both knees on the floor then. Even more exposed now than before, Suzaku focused on the individual fibres in the carpeting.

“Do you like obeying my orders?”

He wondered if she was looking down at him, at the erection that was bumping against his thighs.

“My opinion doesn’t matter.”

He wondered if she was disgusted with what she saw. Surely after this she--

To his surprise, she dropped to her knees and wrapped her arms around him. "You don't have to pretend when you're with me," she said. "You’re allowed to disagree. My sister’s knight tells her when he thinks she might be wrong. It’s not a knight’s duty to be a mindless slave--"

Suzaku could only flounder speechlessly as her gentle touch filled his world. He realised that she was shaking slightly. The last fifteen minutes had taken a lot out of her.

“Suzaku, never pretend that it doesn't hurt, that you aren't affected when you have to do something you don’t want to. Not with me please . . ."

She was so soft and breakable--and yet Suzaku felt like he would crumble if she even frowned in his direction. This girl who held his heart in her delicate hands. He was not deserving of this kind of compassion--

"Don't look at me like that," she said, pulling away slightly.

“Like what?” Suzaku asked when he found his tongue again.

"Like you're so afraid to touch me because I might break apart. No-one is perfect and I am not a good person. If I was, I wouldn't have put you in such a difficult position where you had to choose . . ."

He wanted to tell her that the decision had been his from the beginning. That he had known the consequences when he had became an Honorary Britannian--

Did he really?

That she had nothing to do with why he hated himself--

"I am not your perfect princess to be put on a pedestal and worshipped!"

That made Suzaku draw back a little in shock. There had been something in that outburst that sounded too raw--too painful for close scrutiny.

"I am so sick of that," she said as rose to her feet, more subdued now but still determined.

He wanted to tell her that she did not have to illustrate that point any further, but his mouth went dry when he saw what she had taken from the side table.

Suzaku had heard a lot of things in the army with regards to the royal family--especially those with connections to the military. Most of it had been scurrilous gossip born of someone's extremely vivid wet dreams. Most of it had been about Cornelia li Britannia and her knights, not her innocent younger sister.

Nothing that day could have prepared him for the sight of Euphie holding a silicon strap-on attachment and leather harness. The fact that the leather and the silicon were both a delicate shade of pink just made it all the more surreal.

He wanted to tell that she did not need to prove anything to him, but his tongue seemed to have glued itself to the roof of his mouth and his vocal cords were twisting themselves up. The resultant noise was more of a "guhnk" than, "I really don't think we should be doing this, Your Highness--Euphie, I mean."

Ducking his head down, Suzaku was also shamefully aware that he was rock hard at the very idea--

"Why aren't you objecting?" she asked. "Are you expecting me to hurt you?"

Suzaku flushed as he realised how easily he could be read. And how desperately masochistic he must appear even to her.

"I hoped that you would stop hating yourself so much," she whispered. “We’ll work on that together.”

“Euphie, you don’t have to--”

"I don't know why people are the way they are," Euphie said, placing her hand on his shoulder. "And I won't pretend I understand, but the last thing I want to do is to hurt you."

She gripped his hand and helped him up. “But I haven’t officially renounced my title yet, so we have to do things a little differently . . .”

“A little differently” involved her bedroom and her canopied bed. It was, Suzaku thought, not how he had expected the first time with Euphie to be. He had not actually thought this far, but he was certain it did not involve him belly down over a couple of pillows with several hundred questions whirling around in his head.

Where did you--

Did your sister--

Is this a Britannian thing?

Questions--all of them inappropriate. None of them actually making it past his lips as he watched Euphie disrobe. She left her undergarments--which were comfortingly normal, lacy and pink--on before donning the strap-on. Suzaku did not think he was up to more surprises that day.

“One last time . . . do you want this?” Euphie asked. Suzaku could barely even concentrate on her words. The silicon attachment between her thighs keep drawing his attention. “You don’t have to agree just to make me happy.”

“Euphie . . . I-I would be more than happy to do this with you.” He was, for once, voicing an honest sentiment. She was willing to accept all of him--the ugliness and darkness of his past all inside the imperfect packaging.

Her smile was like the sunrise over the sea and she leaned down to kiss him.

It was easier after that. Easier to adjust to the strange position he was in as her weight settled on the bed behind him and her delicate hands moved--hesitantly at first--over the skin of his back down to his rear.

He still tried not to think too hard as Euphie fiddled with what looked like a small lubricant tube with an applicator attachment. There were some things about the nobility that Suzaku honesty did not want to know about, Euphie notwithstanding.

"You're supposed to tell me when it hurts or when I’m going too fast," she chided him gently when she caught him stifling a gasp at the intrusion of the soft silicon phallus. She had used most of the tube of lubricant to get him ready.

"It doesn't--not much anyway," he amended hastily. It was not even half as painful as he had expected it to be. Then again, his personal experience had been . . . rougher than this. Euphie had been extremely careful with him.

"It doesn't have to hurt," she said. "Does it feel so bad like this . . . when you're with me?"

And Suzaku realised that behind his initial shame and the feeling that he did not even deserve this much consideration, he wanted to be with her and this could not be more right. It felt . . . good, without the self-punishing feelings of guilt and inadequacy. His cock was stiff against the soft pillows and the fullness in his ass was . . . not entirely unpleasant. Especially when it shifted and rubbed the sensitive gland inside him.

He almost kicked himself for not noticing that Euphie had asked every step of the way, as though she was unsure of where she stood with him.

“It’s fine . . .” Better than fine, actually. He could smell the light scent of her perfume mixed with saddle leather and a little bit of horse. It was almost enough to be able to feel the warmth of her skin against his own. “Are you . . . I mean are you all right with this?”

“If you mean do I like the view from here, then yes, I do,” Euphie said with a small smile.

“Oh.” Ducking his head down, Suzaku tried to suppress a blush and failed miserably. However, he did laugh when Euphie started giggling.

Pulling herself together again, Euphie made sure that the strap-on was positioned correctly before moving.

It was hard to think after that. The feeling of the silicon phallus withdrawing and filling him over and over, pressing up against his prostate and producing a pleasurable frisson that coursed through him each time. With every thrust driving his hips forward, his cock would rub against the pillows, creating a gentle friction that served to heighten his arousal.

Alternating between moaning and panting, Suzaku was lost in a complex whirl of lust and desire. There was only her touch on his skin and her voice reassuring him, asking him if he was all right. He had never been so exposed before--his weaknesses revealed in front of someone who was rapidly becoming the centre of his world.

“Is this too fast?” Euphie asked.

“That’s--that’s good!” Suzaku gasped out. “Maybe a little faster--”

The princess--for she was still a princess at the moment--took his suggestion in stride. “Like this?”

“Yes--” Suzaku arched his back and pressed back against her thrusts. “Please—oh--”

“It’s--not the t-time to be polite, Suzaku,” Euphie said, amused despite herself as she moved with him. “Your hand--come on--”

It took a few seconds for Suzaku to process her words and figure out what she meant. In that time, she had grasped his hand and urged him up on his knees a little more so that she could reach under his hips. She did not have to guide him through the next step, which Suzaku and practically every male on the planet was fairly familiar with.

But it was different when her hand was interlaced with his. Her touch was electrifying and it drove him over the edge when she thrust forwards one more time and tightened her grip--

Ohgodohgod--Euphie--

Suzaku thought he saw sparks arcing across his field of vision like shooting stars as his body bucked and twisted in the throes of his orgasm.

Ohgodohgodohgod--

He did not know what manner of embarrassing noise he made at the end, but the matter of how soundproof the princess’ bedroom walls were was not at the forefront of his mind as he came messily in his--hers--their hands.

When it was obvious he was not going to move, Euphie shifted her weight off him and flopped down on the mattress beside him. When he could see straight and sit up without wobbling, Suzaku discovered that she was still holding his hand.

Bright-eyed, she smiled at him as Suzaku kissed her hand. Then the palm of her hand, slowly licking off the traces of himself. Her eyelashes fluttered close as she sighed, one hand moving to undo the leather harness and revealing the fact that she was not unaffected by their first foray into the unknown.

That too, they would have to settle a little differently. Euphie did giggle again as he asked permission, but her laughter turned into something else entirely as he worshiped his way down her body and settled between her thighs.

Suzaku did not make it back to school that day.

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They're such an adorably dorky couple, psychological issues aside. Don't know if they'll be good for each other in the long run though . . . (Not that I'll ever know due to *spoiler-in-episode-23*. Alas.)

But someone has to screw the emo out of Suzaku.