Promises Kept

12.05.04

Matt knocked twice at Mello’s door before letting himself in, not bothering to wait for a response. His eyes barely leaving his gameboy as he entered the room, shutting the door behind him. “Hey, Mell. What did… Roger… ” his question trailed off as assessed the scene before him. Mello was sitting on the floor shoving clothes into a suitcase. Eyes full of loss and anger. “What’s going on?” he asked the blonde. Dread hitting him dead in the stomach.

“L is dead,” Mello said through clinched teeth. His words clipped with emotions that he was trying to keep in check. “Near won… I’m leaving.”

Matt dropped the game were he stood, “W-what?” he stammered, not able to connect the incidences right away, not able to fully process the information. “Why?”

Mello scoffed, his gaze cold, “Why? Why what, Matt? Why did L have to die? Why did that little white haired freak win what I have worked my arse off for since I can remember? Why the hell should I stay and try to be something that I can‘t?”

Matt flinched at his words, the anger that laced them like poison. It was then he noticed a single wet line appear down his cheek. Matt dropped to his knees next to his friend and pulled him into his arms. Mello clung to him, unable to stop the betraying tears now that they started. “He’s really gone,” he sobbed into Matt’s chest. He sounded so lost that it nearly broke the redhead’s heart. Unsure of what to do, he settled for holding Mello closer and kissed the top of his head lightly, content riding it out until the blonde’s shuddering sobs ceased.

There was nothing to say. The news would hit Wammy’s hard, but none would feel the loss more than Mello did. Of all the children at the orphanage, Mello was closest to L. Or rather, he was the only one to bravely approach the detective and start a battery of questions every time, as infrequently as it was, he decided he should come by. Questions about his cases, help with current assignments, questions about everything. In turn, the detective patiently answered what he thought he should, and sometime things he knew he shouldn’t. To Mello, L was a true mentor instead of just a blind inspiration as he was for most of the others.

Mello managed to get a hold of himself after a few moments. He knew he need to continue packing if he was going to be able to go through with it, but it just felt too comforting, too safe in Matt‘s arms to try to move away. “I’m sorry,” he whispered brokenly.

“There is nothing to be sorry for,” he assured the blonde, lifting his chin so they could look eye to eye, “unless you are serious about leaving.” Matt kissed him, hoping that he wasn’t really going to leave, yet he knew that it was in vain. Afraid that this could be the end.

Mello pulled away, “I’m sorry, Matt.” He rose to his feet using the redhead’s shoulder to steady himself. “I’m really leaving.” He turned, tears threatening to spill again, to grab the box of chocolate in his bed side table. He put it into the suitcase, and tried to close it, but it wouldn’t clasp. Putting his full body weight into it, it still wouldn’t budge. “Fuck!” he hissed kicking the offending piece of luggage into the wall. He briefly considered just leaving it since it didn’t want to cooperate. He felt a pressure on his shoulder. “Leave me alone,” he murmured, but the hand just tightened and tried to turn him around. “I said leave me alone!” he yelled as he whorled and pushed him away. He miss judged his force, however, and was horrified to see Matt fall backwards and hit his head on the desk.

“No…” Mello rushed to Matt’s limp form on the floor. Please be ok, please be ok, he repeated to himself as he pulled the redhead into his lap. He ran his fingers over his scalp, checking the extent of his injury. There was a large bump forming on the back of his head, but no blood. That‘s a good sign… I hope. “Matt. Matt! Wake up.“ He stroked gamer’s hair, willing him to wake. I have to make this right somehow.

Minuets passed, and Mello was about to go get the physician. But what if he woke up while he was gone? No, Mello wouldn’t let Matt wake up alone. He cleared the fringe from his lover’s forehead. “Matty. please wake up, baby,” he pleaded. He rechecked the welt, fingers probing gently at the swollen skin. “Nn…” Matt mumbled lightly, wincing at the pain. Mello nearly cried out with relief. “Matt, comeback to me, ok?” he said, stroking his cheeks, trying to coax another reaction.

“I could say the same to you…” Matt murmured, eyes barely opening. Mello leaned down and claimed the redhead’s lips with his own. The response was sluggish, but it was there. “Oh, god I’m so glad your ok. I‘m so sorry.”

“What happened?” Matt asked. His hand went up to his head. “Ow… wha…?” He looked around, and Mello could almost hear the pieces clicking together in his mind. “You pushed me.” He wasn’t accusing, just stating fact. “How long was I out?”

“Nearly fifteen minuets,” Mello replied, hiding his face in Matt’s hair. “I wanted to get some help… but I didn’t want you to wake up alone. I-I know what you would have thought if you came to and I wasn’t here. I couldn’t stand you to think that.”

“Think what? That you would have a hissy fit, knock me out, and run away?” He chuckled, “I know you better than that. You would have a hissy fit, knock me out, and sit around making yourself crazy. Then after I woke up, you would run away.” He looked up at the blonde. “How close am I?”

“Too damn close” Mello said shaking his head, his fringe covering his eyes. “I didn’t want to leave like this. I honestly didn’t mean to hurt you, Matt. I don’t know what happened.”

“Yes, you do,” Matt said softly, reaching up to touch the blonde’s cheek, thumb grazing across his cheekbone, “but it’s ok because I think I understand. I know you think you have to leave. Whether it is hopelessness or just stubborn pride has yet to be seen, but I won’t try to make it harder on you.” Matt pulled his head down till their lips met. The kiss was soft and reassuring laced lightly with passion.

“Sure you say that,” Mello replied pulling the still slightly unstable teen to his feet, “but somehow I suspect that you are planning to make it very difficult for me to leave.” He led him to the edge of the bed. Matt pushed himself up onto the bed fully and laid down on his side. Eyes closed. It was a good front, but Mello was sure that the room was still spinning for him. Pausing only for a moment, he climbed up the bed to lay behind Matt. His arms wound around his lover’s waist holding him close.

“You might be right,” he replied finally, “but can you really blame me?” He shifted than turned so that he was now facing Mello, their foreheads touching. “Part of it is purely selfish. Other than you, the people here are really boring. I mean, who am I going to talk to? Linda? Honestly the only times I leave my room are to come over here, go to class, or for some ungodly reason the guys drag me out to play foot ball with them” he snorted. He had no earthly clue why he would be randomly abducted from his room to kick around that stupid black and white ball. He wasn’t even good at it. Matt didn’t tell him what his real reason was, that he was worried about him. That he didn’t want to be stuck here and not know where Mello was and what he was doing. There was just so much that could go wrong. He didn’t tell him this, because that would just have the blonde walking out sooner just to prove that he could do it. He needed another tactic. “And this,” he pulled him closer and kissed him tasting the sugary sweetness that was Mello, who’s hands griped the small of his back, nails scratching lightly, “hmm. I will definitely miss that. Two months really hasn’t been long enough.” Indulging, he kissed the blonde again. It was harsher, hungrier than the previous. A soft moan was felt more than heard as he massaged the other’s tongue with his own. Panting they separated. “I have an idea that can solve both our problems. I’m going with you.”

Mello backed away as far as he could without falling off the bed. “And how exactly will that solve all our problems, Matt?” he spat. “Wait, it doesn’t matter. The answer is no.” He caught the glimmer of hurt on Matt’s face before it became utterly unreadable. Just great, Mello hated when he did that. Softening his tone he continued, “This place is good for people like you. You don’t get sucked up into the politics and mind games like everyone else does. It may bore you, but it won’t drive you half mad. I want you to get out of here legit, Matty. I know just as well as you do that if you applied yourself that you would give me a run for my money.” The corners of Matt’s mouth pulled down despite himself, making Mello grin, “Don’t think I never noticed that your scores were always between one and five points lower than mine. Depending on how whoever was number four at the time was doing, of course. I could always tell when you threw answer. We fucking studied together. I know you knew the answers because I practically made sure of it.”

Mello started to pull back closer to the redhead and his hands on either side of his face. “That also leads me to believe that if anybody could find me out there, it would be you. That is our deal. You finish with this place, and come find me. I will wait for you. No matter how long it takes.” He pulled Matt into a long deep kiss. A promise, a demand. His fingers moved up to travel his lover’s scalp, pulling him in even more. He felt Matt’s hands grip the small of his back, his moan breaking off into a small whimper. Mello stopped suddenly, “I’m sorry,” he said rubbing the back of Matt’s head gently, “I almost forgot about that.”

“S’ok, I really didn’t mind,” Matt murmured into his shoulder. Kissing it lightly before he sighed, “Not to put an end to this prematurely, but when exactly are you planning to go?” His arms wound tighter around Mello’s waist displaying plainly the fact that he wished he wouldn’t leave.

Mello shot a glance towards the now darkening window, “I guess first thing in the morning.” He claimed Matt’s lips with his own again, one hand traveling down his back until he found the hem of his shirt. It was Matt’s turn to back away this time. “Where the hell do you think you’re going?” Mello demanded as he watched the redhead get off the bed and cross the room.

The doorknob was already in his hand before he turned to face the fuming teen still on the bed. “I’m just going to get something out of my room. I’ll be right back, so stop pouting.” At that Matt dodged out of the room, pausing only to grab his game off the floor, and shut the door quickly behind him. A loud crash on the door behind him confirmed that Mello had indeed done what he expected and thrown something at him. He couldn’t stop the laugh that erupted from him as he walked down the hallway to his room.