The Cactus Fic

Here's where it gets a little... prickly. Kakakakaka!
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Schuldich slipped into his unsuspecting victim's head, taking a poke around. /Perfect. He still ain't said nothin'. The pussy./

He snickered a bit and jumped into Youji's subconscious to whisper the delights of porn after a hard day's work. The blond obviously agreed as he flipped on the DVD player, which spat out lewd noises almost immediately, and lit up a cigarette. He liked leaving surprises for the girls who brought them their missions. He was content to just watch as he usually did when he wasn't in his own room until Schuldich decided that needed to change.

The redhead dug through Youji's head in search of useful material, which was easily found since the blond had been dredging them up on his own. Memories of accidental towel loss, clothing removal due to extreme heat, the rare accompaniment for clubbing, along with other memories were all pushed to the front of his thoughts along with a few choice fantasies. He merely closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the couch, ignoring the television and letting the hand holding the cigarette hang over the arm of the couch. /Not what I was expectin' him to do./

It didn't take much work to keep Youji going. The telepath just kept the thoughts circulating, adding a few things he'd made up himself. He kept at it for a good ten minutes until he began to get bored with it and decided it was time for Ken to make an appearance.

The daydreaming playboy looked up when he heard someone coming down the steps, the smoke from his forgotten nicotine fix trailing lazily up. /Dammit. It just had to be him. Buzz-kill. /

"Yo, Ken-Ken." He stared at the screen and sucked on his smoke stick, which was no longer forgotten, attempting to push away his thoughts. Schuldich, however, was having none of that and only pushed back harder while pulling up more thoughts.

"Hey, Youji. Tough shift?" He smiled sympathetically as he took a seat next to his eldest teammate and licked at the wonderful invention of Omi's know as the Gatorade popsicle.

"You got it." He allowed his eyes to wander over to where Ken was sitting and immediately regretted it. He groaned as he saw the popsicle slide into Ken's mouth and took a deep pull on the cigarette. /Che, he's so oblivious. /

"I don't understand why you watch so much of this crap when you can easily get the real thing for free," Ken griped and nodded toward the TV.

"Because it pisses off Aya, makes Omi blush, and is better for my health. Why else?" He shrugged and lit a new cigarette off the last one.

"What about me?" The popsicle disappeared into Ken's mouth as soon as he was done speaking and was pulled back out much slower than the blond wanted to deal with. Youji stared at the frozen liquid on a stick that was sure to be his demise and gulped hard. "You alright? You don't look so good."

"Just peachy," he drawled before snatching the popsicle. With a few quick bites he finished it off.

"Hey." The soccer player pouted and mock punched the other man in the arm.

Spoiling Schuldich's popsicle plan meant Youji got an extra boost of lustful energy and Ken pouting combing with the extra lust meant Youji's eyes were drawn to Ken's soft, moist lips, which were green from the popsicle. He struggled to keep from snickering. /Maybe I'm givin' him too much freedom with his thoughts./

Ken's eyebrow rose. "What's with you?"

"What do you mean?" Youji tried what he thought was a strait face to hide his amusement.

To this Ken made his best pouting face. "You know what I mean," he said pitifully, knowing the blond wouldn't be able to resist the poor, little kitten ploy.

As predicted, the playboy gave, laying a hand on Ken's shoulder and pointing to his mouth. "You look like you've been kissing a leprechaun. "He laughed softly as the soccer player looked down and began rubbing at his lips. "You and Omi and your pouting. I swear," he said, sighing melodramatically and flopping back.

Ken shoved him good-naturedly at the mockery. "You laugh now but your lips are green, too."

That would be the logical conclusion since he'd eaten some of the popsicle, as well. "Aa." His hand went to his lips. "I guess they would be." Instead of rubbing, he licked his lips a couple of times while trying to look down at them.

It took Youji by surprise when another mouth suddenly came into his line of sight and pressed to his own bringing a small sound of surprise from him. The blond barely had time to register what was going on and have all his views of Ken as the straight man destroyed before he pulled back, eyes cast away, bottom lip held between his teeth, a bit of pink staining his cheeks. "Uh, sorry. I.. just..." The brunette's eyes lifted back to the playboy's while one of his hands lifted to rub the back of his head "I shouldn't have... sorry..." Ken breathed the last word so softly it almost couldn't be heard.

Youji just barely caught the fearful yet shy, almost innocent smile that flashed across the soccer player's lips as he looked away again. He didn't have the strength to stop himself now that the brunette had started it but they were still teammates and he didn't want to ruin their relationship. He never liked to think about what he would do if any of his teammates left. But he'd thought about this for so long and that only fueled the fire that forced his hand to lift, to slide against Ken's face, gently encouraging him to turn back as he leaned closer. "Don't be sorry," he whispered a breath away from Ken's lips before closing the gap.

The kiss started out slow and probing but quickly became heated, filled with long suppressed passion and desire that had only been vented through dreams and the occasional fantasy but now demanded something more be done to satisfy. Schuldich pressed on, laughing as his planted belief of the best position for the intensity of the occasion and the small size of the couch began to be acted upon as Youji silently encouraged Ken to stand. The blond moved them back toward the end of the couch but soon forgot the intended destination and ended up pressing the younger man against the wall, pinning his arms to the wall on either side of his body. After a few more moments of tongue war Youji's hands left the other's wrists to run down muscled sides. As he looked up from following his hand's paths his eyes met a small bottle he easily recognized, a little taken back as he looked past it to mischievous blue eyes. "You were planning this," he managed to choke out, shock evident in his strained voice.

"Not at all. I just happened to have it," Ken said with a good amount of sarcasm. He grinned slyly at the almost suspicious look he received.

A wonderful idea suddenly struck Youji as he looked at the lube. The dirty grin he displayed was the only warning before he snatched the container and tossed it near the TV, claiming Ken's mouth again for a quick, rough kiss before pulling him off the wall and all but shoving him toward the couch. "We won't need it."

There was no denying Schuldich enjoyed Youji's inventiveness involving sexual situations and he's just surprised him again, which was a hard thing to do. The redhead made a small note to himself on the back of his hand, as he always seemed to misplace mental notes, before putting his full attention back on the situation at hand.

Youji didn't even give the brunette a chance to turn around, molding his body against his back. One of his hands finally found Ken's groin, cupping him softly through his jeans. The younger of the two drew in a sharp breath and before he'd let it out the playboy, in all his talent, had Ken's pants and boxers puddled at his ankles.

"Why not?" A gasp came from Ken as one of Youji's hands curled around his erection and his tongue ran up his ear.

"You'll see. Just hold still." He played with Ken's earlobe for a bit, licking, sucking and nibbling at it as the brunette leaned forward some, placing his hands on the arm of the couch for support.

Youji pumped his partner while stroking Ken's hip with his free hand. Deliberately slow strokes were delivered in a firm grip until it became obvious by the small thrusts Ken was making into his hand that he wasn't going to be able to handle such a trial of patience. The playboy leaned forward bracing himself on the couch's arm, as well, with the hand he'd been using to appreciate Ken's skin. He leaned over Ken's body, licking a spot on his neck just below his ear. "This whole time I thought you were straight and now I have you bent over a couch fucking my hand."

"I thought you were, too."

"Is there anything else you've been hiding that I should know about?"

The soccer player's response was a groan before he seemed to find his voice. "How about that I've been hard as hell since I got to the bottom of the steps?"

Youji made a slight appreciative moan from the strain in Ken's voice and the realization that he wasn't as oblivious of his actions as he'd initially thought. "So you used that popsicle to your advantage, then?"

"Did it work," Ken asked, breathlessly, as he looked over his shoulder and pushed backward, seeking out proof.

When the brunette failed to connect with his evidence Youji pushed forward to help him find it. A moan slipped from his lips as he dropped his head to rest his forehead on the other man's shoulder, who gasped. "Does that answer your question?"

"Very nicely. Now, stop teasing me."

"As you wish." He leaned back to keep from getting rubbed against so his side of the act wouldn't end early and tightened his grip on the younger man's shaft, earning him another groan from Ken. Youji sped the movements of his hand steadily until he found the perfect pace, the pace that had his partner panting the hardest.

It didn't take long before he had Ken wobbling at the edge. He removed his free hand from the arm of the couch to cup it before Ken's hard-on and gave a few sharp tugs to deliver his release. As the brunette groaned the finale of his pleasure Youji worked to catch every drop of what he needed in his cupped hand, careful not to lose any of it as he milked him for every drop.

Ken struggled to hold himself up and catch his breath, both of which he was achieving quite well. Again, Youji's empty hand trailed Ken's side again while he pulled the other hand close to himself, almost protecting its contents. He pulled the brunette up to kiss him when he looked over his shoulder with a lazy, sated look. The response he received made it clear Ken wasn't ready to be done, not that Youji planned on letting him get away at this point anyway.

Using every trick he knew Youji set himself on a mission to tease Ken back into action. He trailed his fingers over the other's stomach with a light touch, feeling the muscles bunch under his skin at the almost tickling contact. As his fingers slid further up to torture one of the soccer player's dark nipples his mouth began working on marking his neck. After succeeding with one bruise-like mark Youji licked a trail further down his neck, sucking softly, low on Ken's pulse point. The blond bite down on the flesh in his mouth as a sharp pinch to the opposite nipple drew a particularly ragged groan from Ken's throat, the bite drawing another. At that point his hand decided it wasn't going to wait anymore and found its way to Ken's semi-hard arousal. He began fondling it appreciatively as it gradually swelled. His own cock twitched despite his attempts to distract himself so he wouldn't get too excited but he couldn't seem to pull his hand away. Nor could he pass up the opportunity to tease his younger teammate. "You've recovered quickly," he whispered in Ken's ear as he gave a soft squeeze to his member, accentuating the point.

"Hn, I'm not an old man like you."

"I'll take that as a challenge," the blond replied after receiving a mischievous grin and dropped to his knees. He let his hand slide from Ken's hardness to his hip to steady him as he leaned in. "Hold still," he breathed just before sliding his tongue against the brunette's hole. He was very glad of two things: the first being that Ken was able to keep from jerking back since he couldn't hold him still to prevent possible injury and the second being that Ken had taken a shower not too long ago. Youji listened to Ken voice his excitement as he stroked his entrance with his tongue, probing inside a little. Once Youji was sure he was sufficiently wet he stood again and Ken readjusted his footing. He stroked Ken's now luke-warm semen onto his shaft as Ken took a look over his shoulder. There was something inherently erotic about using someone's own ejaculate to lubricate his ass, Youji thought as Ken smirked at him, and he didn't know why he hadn't thought of it sooner.

"I see why you have a reputation," Ken teased.

"What can I say? I'm good at improv," Youji tossed back.

-

Ken grabbed a couple of sodas to go with the chips and dip he'd set out on the counter.

-

About to lose the ability to control his hand, Youji had to force himself to stop stroking and align himself.

-

Ken gathered his armful of snacks and headed for the stairs to the mission room to keep Youji company, having heard him talking to the TV again down there after getting out of the shower.

-

Youji was glad Ken didn't seem to be in much better condition if his panting was to be an indicator. "Ready?"

-

Ken started down the stairs, ready to relax for the evening.

-

After receiving a small nod Youji pushed forward, slowly seating himself with mutual moans of pleasure. "So tight," he groaned.

-

Ken stood gaping at the bottom of the steps, at a loss as to what kind of early April Fools joke he'd walked into.

-

"Ken," Youji gasped.

-

Ken made something resembling a squeak and dropped half of what he was holding.

-

Youji heard a noise in his haze and looked in that direction to see what was attempting to interrupt their activities.

Schuldich made a clean slip from Youji's mind leaving a wake of confusion behind him.

Youji blinked, unable to understand what had just taken place.

Ken blinked likewise but with fewer pieces of the puzzle.

Schuldich sat back and laughed his ass off.

Youji sputtered, unable to think of which question to ask first.

Ken chose for him, "You, the cactus?"

Youji followed Ken's eyes to the object in question, took in the entirety of his situation and screamed loud enough to scare the fangirls in the shop.

Omi and Aya exchanged glares that agreed Youji would be punished as the fangirls swarmed them for assurance of Youji's wellbeing.

With the situation being worse than Ken had initially thought, he ran to get the first aid kit and a towel, yelling behind, "Stay there!"

Youji certainly wasn't going to argue and was very glad when the brunette returned with the kit rather than a video camera. Ken took out a small pair of scissors to snip the needles that were embedded in Youji's flesh. Once Youji had his freedom he hobbled over to the couch and gently sat down. Ken hovered nearby, sitting on the floor to pick needed items out of the kit while Youji gave a shot at removing the needles. After getting just one out he was ready to be done. "Do you think I could leave them in and call them an accessory?"

Ken rolled his eyes, "Imagine a mission with them in." Youji groaned his frustration as Ken moved a little closer. "I could help if you want me to."

He perked up a little at that. "Really?"

"Of course." He moved closer with the supplies, a little taken back that Youji would expect him to just leave him there even after what he saw.

"Thanks." He sighed, his second problem being solved quickly and painlessly. He was glad Ken wasn't going to try to avoid him.

Unsure of how to approach the next hurdle, he simply asked. "What do you want me to do?"

Youji grabbed his pack of cigarettes and a lighter from where he left them on the arm of the couch and lit one up, taking a good, long drag and holding it in shortly. "Whatever you're comfortable with. I'm sure I can manage anything else."

Ken, barely being fazed by the situation, began tending to his wounds. After some time of mutual silence in the face of neither knowing what to say Ken finally spoke up, trying to help Youji's uneasiness. "So, did you lose a contact?" He tried to keep a straight face but couldn't help let a snicker out.

Youji stared at Ken for a moment during the initial shocked of his brush off of the situation but was soon laughing, at which point Ken joined in. Their laughter soon died down and Youji tried to collect his thoughts, going back over what happened in his mind. "The best explanation I can come up with is that I had to piss too bad to make it to the bathroom and decided to use the cactus. I must have tripped or something." He sighed, taking a pull off his cigarette and raking a hand through his hair.

Ken raised an eyebrow at this. "And do you always groan my name when you're peeing? Or did you need someone to come hold it for you?"

He gave Ken a questioning look and conceded. "Fine, but the truth doesn't make any more sense. You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"Try me," he challenged.

"You'll laugh," Youji asserted, grudgingly.

"Try me," he said with a little extra force than was necessary to pull out the last cactus needle. Eight in all, he removed.

Youji yelped and gave Ken a withering glare. He opened his mouth several times but always closed it again, not sure where to start. Finally, he opted to just start at the beginning, leaving out a lot of unimportant details to increase the likelihood of Ken's continued help.

Ken stared for a moment, then, burst into laughter. Youji crossed his arms, irked, and looked away pointedly. The brunette struggled to control himself and when he'd finally managed to stop he looked at the blond for a long minute. Youji squirmed a little under the scrutiny, now looking back at Ken about to protest the staring but was cut off. "Are you drunk," Ken asked and moved forward suddenly to see if he could smell alcohol on Youji.

"What? No," Youji protested, flustered. After such an intense daydream the brunette's proximity was giving him ideas and he realized his libido didn't seem to understand that he was injured as his penis stirred, a fact that hadn't missed Ken's notice.

Ken kept staring for a minute, trying to think of another explanation. Drugs were out of the question and Youji wasn't in any physical state that would warrant hallucinations. He just couldn't think of anything else to explain it. Much to Youji's delight he sighed and looked away to find the antibacterial numbing solution they kept. Taking Youji in his hand softly to avoid further pain he began cleaning his wounds with the solution.
"Well, I would've never been so forward, given your reputation, even though I did suspect it wasn't the whole truth. We all did but..."

Youji was dumbfounded by Ken's confession at first but was pulled free at the mention of the others and had to interrupt. "You're not gonna tell them about this, are you? Can we keep this between us, please," he begged.

Ken looked up with an understanding smile, nodding. He was being very magnanimous about the whole situation, a fact that Youji was very glad for. "Thanks man, I don't know what I'd do without you." He stamped out what was left of his cigarette after a last drag.

Ken grinned, "You mean besides imagining someone else while humping a cactus?"

Youji threw the butt he was still holding at Ken for his remark, laughing. "Shut up, you ass. You wouldn't think this was so funny if it was your dick full of needles."

Ken dodged the butt, laughing as well. "You're probably right. I'm not sure what to think about you not being able to tell the difference between the real me and the imaginary me."

"Hmm? Now that I think about it the way you kept looking at me... I'm not sure how to explain it but it reminds me of someone. I can't put a name or a face to it, but," Youji trailed off, thinking as he lit up another cigarette.

"Placing it isn't going to help us figure this out."

"I guess you're right." He kept thinking anyway out of curiosity.

After wrapping Youji with gauze and taping it securely in place, he started putting the kit back together. "All done. So, what do I get for all my trouble," he asked, expressionless.

Youji was a little wary of Ken's seemingly innocent question but was too grateful to care. "I don't know. Whatever you want."

"Really?" Ken eyed him thoughtfully.

"Really. Shoot."

For a moment it seemed Ken was going to take some time to devise a devious plot, judging by his expression, probably involving hard labor. Youji didn't have to wait long, as a grin slowly spread across his face once he decided on a full plan. "Alright, I think I'll take my payment later tonight, after dinner when Aya and Omi will be busy." A plan he'd been thinking of for some time. He snapped the kit shut and stood. "But you'll have to be bottom since you're injured." A plan he now knew Youji would go along with. He gave Youji a wink that Youji gaped at, dropping his cigarette into his lap.

Youji grabbed it up with a curse as Ken turned, walking away with a snicker.

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Upon hearing the door Crawford ventured out for another cup of coffee, thankful that he hadn't gotten any visions. Whatever took Schuldich so long at least hadn't gotten him into trouble with any authorities. Schuldich made a b-line for the kitchen, grabbing something to eat and drink, and leaving without more than a 'yo' to acknowledge Crawford's presence. Crawford thought the immensely pleased look the redhead was sporting and his lack of harassment was strange but shrugged it off as a good thing. Since he didn't have to fight to get back to work he went back before things could change while Schuldich watched TV.

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After dinner Youji showered and waited for Ken in his room with the door open and music playing. He wasn't entirely sure Ken was actually coming but decided to wait anyway, not that he had anything else to do. He sang along as he cleaned his room, having let it get far too disorganized. He didn't have to wait long before Ken showed up with a wave. He waved Ken in between throwing articles of dirty clothing into his laundry basket.

"You're in good spirits," he observed.

Youji shrugged. "I took some heavy pain killers," he explained and Ken nodded. "Thanks again for the help. It would've been much harder to do by myself."

"No problem."

"I still." Youji stopped and looked at Ken suspiciously before moving to grab his wrist. "Before anything else."

"What..." Ken sputtered as Youji drug him in front of a mirror.

"Hmm, you have a reflection," Youji pondered.

Ken's brows furrowed. "I'm not a vampire."

"I know. Would fantasies have reflections," he thought out loud.

"Are you sure you're okay," Ken asked just before Youji tugged his arm again. "What now?"

"We're going to see Aya."

"Wha?"

Arriving at his door shortly, Youji knocked as waited for the redhead to answer. When he opened the door with a glare Youji tugged Ken further into view. "Is this Ken," he asked, pointing to Ken.

Aya was silent for a moment, gaving him a measuring look. "Don't drink so much," and he closed the door.

Youji pulled Ken off again, heading for the mission room while Ken followed, laughing. As expected, Omi was at the computer. "Oi, bishounen, think you can stop looking at porn long enough to do me a favor," he called when he reached the bottom of the steps.

Ken smiled at the usual teasing but as they got closer and he realized there was something to Youji's teasing the smile fell to make way for shock which turned to a choke when he recognized one of the men on the screen from the J-League.

"Hm?" Omi turned to see what Youji wanted and took on a grumpy pout when he saw Ken. "Youji-kun, you said you wouldn't tell."

"I didn't and Ken doesn't care anyway, right Ken?"

"Katsu?" Ken floundered.

"See? He doesn't care. So, you can see him?"

"Yes? Are you drunk, Youji-kun?"

Youji rolled his eyes. "No. Thanks for the help."

"No problem. I think."

"Back to my room, then." Youji tugged Ken away from the computer and Omi watched them leave, wondering what was going on.

"I thought..." Ken tried.

"Seems you're uncovering a lot of secrets today. He's good at finding good stuff," Youji helped.

Ken decided to think about it later when they made it back to the blond's room, remembering his plan.

"So?" was all Youji got out before Ken had turned him around to claim a kiss, which he responded eagerly to, of course. When Ken released him he looked at him suspiciously again. "I thought you said you wouldn't be so forward."

"Yeah, given your reputation," he said as though that cleared everything up but Youji kept looking at him like he was going to turn into a cactus again. He shrugged, "Now I know your reputation isn't all it seems to be and you wouldn't turn me down."

"Oh," was all he could think of to say.

"I was just joking about tonight, though." A feint look of mixed surprise, hurt, and confusion crossed Youji's face so Ken quickly added, "Just because you're injured. When you're healed..."

"Like I could wait that long," Youji interrupted. "Besides, once the scabs set up good just being horny will be painful. I've got to get off somehow tonight to try to reduce my urges for the next week."

"I didn't think about that," he admitted.

"You might as well help me out," Youji said, smirking as he brushed his hands up Ken's sides, pressing his leg between Ken's.

"Yeah, I should," Ken agreed as he leaned forward to lick at his neck.

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Schuldich panted as Crawford teased his nipple, taking advantage of his power to peek in on Ken scrogging Youji. He was glad that he wouldn't have to listen to either of them pining anymore and that he'd gotten Crawford to stop working sooner than he'd expected. Crawford grabbed a handful of Schuldich's hair and yanked on it. "What the fuck," he yelped.

"You aren't paying attention," Crawford explained as though pulling someone's hair was the natural response when said person wasn't paying attention.

Schuldich put on a playful smirk. "Sorry, I was busy thinkin about what I was gonna do to ya in yer sleep tonight."

Crawford's response was to smack his ass just hard enough to cause him a little pain, showing his disapproval as he licked at Schuldich's neck. Once Schuldich was squirming and moaning sufficiently he reached over, blinding groping in the drawer in the bedside table. Finding the bottle he was looking for he popped it open and squeezed. When nothing came out he leaned up to glare at it. When Schuldich felt Crawford lean up he cracked an eye open to find the reason, opening both fully when he saw the brunette glaring at the bottle of lube. "Did we have any more anywhere," Crawford asked.

"Na, used it all. I'll go ask Nagi n Farfarello."

"No, that's... no."

"But..." Schuldich was about to protest but suddenly remembered Youji's idea, a smirk slowly growing on his face. "We don't need it," he claimed. Crawford looked suspicious so Sculdich continued with an explanation of his thoughts.

"Good night, Schuldich," Crawford replied without hesitation as he got under the blankets and turned the light out.

"Cmon," Schuldich whined.

"You can sleep in your own room if you don't like it."

Schuldich fumed quietly, getting under the blankets, as well, as he made up his mind to make good on his claim to ravish the brunette in his sleep.

"It won't work, Schuldich," Crawford said, calmly.

"Hardass!"

"Is that why you're uke?"

"Fuckin... Damn you," Schuldich cursed as he flipped onto his side, facing away from Crawford while Crawford smirked.



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Hop on over to the Misc. section for my Texhnolyze fic if you're a fan.