Beyond Words

Nagi dozed off and on, but he was too worried to get any real sleep. As he waited impatiently for morning to come when their doors would unlock, he continued to curse Senji and what he had done. Being touched by a man, especially one who continuously made jokes and things that were in bad taste, was supposed to be sickening and yet Senji had found all the right spots on him, had been able to coax out of him the desire and lust that he had thought was long dead. Slowly getting up and moving over to his bed, he sat down with a sigh and his fingers touched the little locket around his neck, fingering the chain and working their way down to the small circle of metal. This little side trip couldn’t deter him from his goal. He had to see his child someday and nothing could get in his way of his dream. After the doors opened, he quickly got up and hurried down the hall, ignoring a lot of the early risers coming out of their dorms. Nagi got to the laundry room in no time and opened the door, rushing inside and looking around fervently.

There was nothing. He figured he’d be able to see it immediately, sitting on the floor where he could easily find it, but there was nothing. Just to be sure it didn’t somehow get moved to a corner somewhere, he searched the entire room. Every nook and cranny was searched, but nothing was found. Owl was getting frantic now and he wondered if one of the guards found it, until he had a thought. What if…Senji took it with him? Bolting from the laundry room, he ran back down the hall again, passing his own room and a few more until he made it to Senji’s. Trying the door, he found it open and flung it open, storming inside. “Crow! Where is my scarf?!”

The man on the bed shifted and looked up, blinking sleepily at Nagi as he yawned. “Scarf?”

The man sounded far too sleepily to even understand what he meant and only when Nagi raced over and pulled him up gruffly by his collar was he really awake. “The scarf! The one that belonged to my wife!”

“Oh.” Senji grinned. “You left it behind last night so I figured I’d pick it up for you so it didn’t get taken.”

Owl wanted to hit the man, and yet he breathed a sigh of relief. He was thankful no one else who didn’t know what it was had picked it up and kept it for themselves, or thought it was trash. He let Senji go, watching him bounce against the bed. Holding his hand out, he glared at him. “I want it back.”

“Oh now Owl, that’s no way to ask for something that you want.”

“I’m through playing with you, Crow!” He shouted, his voice box straining, making the mechanical voice that came out sound a bit broken. Senji looked up at him a minute then closed his eye and turned his head away. “You messed with me last night and now you’re keeping my most precious possession from me?! I’m done playing games!”

“Who said I was playing games?” The seriousness in Senji’s voice caught Owl off guard and he paused, giving Senji an opening to continue. Opening his eye, Senji sat up. “If I didn’t think you were worth it, I wouldn’t have done anything, Owl. I wanted to see you squirm and see you all flustered, because the Nagi that everyone in your little Scar Chain gang knows, is not the Nagi that I know you’ve probably become…”

Nagi’s cheeks turned red when he had an idea of what Senji was talking about. He glared at him and this time he was really tempted to hit him. Turning away a minute, he took a breath to recollect himself and turned back to him. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Crow.” He answered tersely and held out his hand. “Just give me the scarf back.”

Sitting up, Senji scratched the back of his head and yawned a little. “Sure, sure.”

Nagi glared when Senji didn’t move to get up off of the bed and he frowned as well. “I would like it back sometime soon…”

“Well wait a minute.” Senji said, grinning a bit, his eyes still sleepy as he was beginning to wake up. “You’re in the Carnival Corpse against Hummingbird today, aren’t you?”

“Yes…” Owl replied, wondering where he was going with this. “What of it?”

Senji stood up, yawning again. He was half naked, bare from the chest down and just the thought of that man pressing his body against his own the night before made Nagi turn away. “You wouldn’t want that scarf of yours to get torn to shreds by Hummingbird’s Branch of Sin, now would you?”

Nagi snapped his gaze towards the other man and he stared at him a moment. Never before, had he thought of it that way. “I-It would be fine. I feel rather alone if I fight without it.”

“That’s sort of pathetic if you ask me.” Senji answered and went to the bathroom. “You’re hanging onto the past, Owl.”

Stubbornly, Nagi crossed his arms and thought of a good response, but it was a moment before one came. “You don’t know anything. I only keep it with me because it’s precious. She…”

“She didn’t have anything more than that scarf to leave behind to you, and so you keep it close to you as a small thing to remind you of her.” The man in the other room interrupted him with the small retort. “You’re just hanging onto the memories of a dead woman and the hope of a child that may not even be alive anymore…”

Owl felt something inside himself freeze up and he looked toward the bathroom before looking away again. “Don’t say that. Don’t you dare say that…”

There was silence in the room and Nagi took the opportunity to sigh and put his hands into his face, relieved as the tight and freezing feeling inside of him loosened up and the pain it left behind disappeared. He breathed deeply, trying to not let Crow’s words get to him. Though he wouldn’t realize it immediately, he was susceptible to those words. He really didn’t want to believe their meaning, that told him differently than he believed, differently than he hoped. It was too painful. It was too tiresome. To entertain those ideas was to spend energy he didn’t have, and so he chose not to let his thoughts stray that way. He forced them to keep back, and forced different thoughts into his mind. Something wrapped around his midsection and caught him by surprise. His breathe hitched a little and he jumped, turning his head a little to see Senji behind him. “I’ll make a deal with you, Owl.”

Nagi didn’t reply. He could only think of the way Senji’s fingers traced his chest, across his pectorals and down his stomach. He shivered, and closed his eyes, his hands balling into fists as he tried to resist the blooming feeling he felt from it. Crow’s hand flattened across his stomach and he was pulled closer into Senji’s lower half. Something pressed into him and a feeling of anticipation came. That’s what that feeling was. Before, it was some strange roiling feeling inside of him, but he could see now that it was excitement and anticipation. It made him realize that what Senji had said before was true, and he hated it. Nagi felt weak and uneasy, but he was curious of the deal that Senji offered in exchange for the scarf. “W-What do you want?”

Senji’s breath washed across his neck and tickled his ears as he chuckled. “Show me your skills, great leader, and I’ll be nice and hold onto the scarf for you while you fight Hummingbird. Come back a winner and I’ll give you the scarf and maybe even a bonus gift…”

He frowned at the mention of the latter and he opened his eyes, looking back at him. “All I want is the scarf.”

“That’s not what your body is telling me…” He was answered with. Senji’s mouth met Nagi’s skin and he kissed along his chin, moving down to his neck slowly where he gently nibbled at his flesh there. Pressing against him again, he sighed and shuddered as he continued to tease the flesh with his mouth, electrifying the nerves under Nagi’s skin. Crow laughed when he heard Nagi suppress a small sound and his fingers snaked into his hair to hold his head into place. His other hand was sneaking dangerously low to Owl’s pant line and he felt the anticipation grow even more within himself. “I’ll show you a side of yourself that you refuse to answer to, a side that you have hammered down and brought back up in the form of hope and energy used in your fight against D.W. to get out. It’ll be my gift to you…”

Squirming a little in Senji’s grip, Owl tried to pull away from him, but was suddenly seized around his waist in a way that made him shiver again. He immediately stopped, realizing that Senji wouldn’t let him go so easily. Quickly, he was moved forward by his waist until he hit the wall, being made to brace himself with his hands as Senji pushed his body even further into the concrete with his own body. “Let go of me!” He cried out, afraid that he wouldn’t be able to push him off anymore if he continued what he was doing.

“I’m offering to help you, Owl, and you’re being so rude in return…”

“You’re not helping me! That’s just your own pompous assumption you asshole! I don’t need help.”

Crow flipped Nagi around and stared him straight into his face, scrutinizing him with his one eye. “It’s sad that you don’t realize just how deep you are in these feelings. They’re not healthy, Owl.”

Nagi felt his grip loosen on him and he shook off the other man, a hand coming up almost instinctively to wipe at the place along his neck where Senji’s mouth had been. What a presumptuous attitude! He headed for the door, now done with him for the time being. “I’ll be back for that scarf.” Owl said simply as he opened the door and left. He marched down the hallway, deciding he would warm up a bit before the Carnival Corpse. There was no way that he would lose that scarf to Senji, and there was no way he would allow himself to be subjected to such treatment either. Whatever issues Senji thought he had apparently weren’t too strong. They were nothing more than the natural and sexual urges of a human being, and everyone had them. Though that seemed true enough to Nagi, he couldn’t shake off the feeling that there was more to what Senji was saying than what he was getting.

~~~

“Down! Hummingbird is out of commission!” The speakers echoed across the stadium and a cheer of approval went up in the upper rafters where holographic images of the audience stood, their aliases shining brightly. The cheers resonated as some won bets while others lost and the excitement and adrenaline could be felt on the air and in their cries as it poured throughout the room. Nagi panted as he looked up from where he stood in the ring. His body ached and he had cuts all over his body from Hummingbird’s Branch of Sin. He looked down at the young girl that he had just knocked out and deep inside, felt glad that he hadn’t actually killed her while trying to win. As the adrenaline left his body, his knees gave out a little and he stumbled forward, catching himself just in time before he fell down onto the ground. “Done in by Owl’s Eyeball, no less! She just couldn’t take the heat! Owl is your winner!”

Standing a bit straighter he turned for his corner and began heading out. Before he did anything, he wanted to get his scarf from Senji but it took all he had just to make it to the door before he was accosted by medics who hurried to take him away and treat him. They pumped him full of stabilizers and gave him injections before giving him maybe an hours rest and ordering him to head to bed for a day or so. In reality, Nagi guessed he should really have more rest than that, but D.W. didn’t care much about their merchandise. Only the man in charge who thought up the place cared about them a whole lot, considering they were his meal ticket for not only excitement, but a good payout as well. Wearily, Nagi wandered down the hall towards his room, shaking off the people he came across with things like ‘I’m going to lay down’ and ‘they told me to rest for a while’. He found he didn’t have the energy to deal with others at the moment, and when he made it to his room and shut the door, all he saw was the bed as he collapsed down onto it and went to sleep. He slept for a good while, not dreaming, not feeling anything. It was a deep and wonderful sleep, the best he’d had in a long while, and he didn’t want to wake up, but he could hear someone beside his bed doing something. It was had to tell who or what it was unless he opened his eyes, which he didn’t want to do. Every once in a while he would think of Senji, and the promise he had made to return the scarf if he won, but even the promise of his most treasured item couldn’t lure him back to consciousness. So he slept.

He wasn’t sure how long he was asleep for, but when he woke up, it was still light outside. Nagi felt as though he had been asleep for a long time, but that couldn’t be right, not if it was still light out. Turning his head a little, he saw Senji sitting in the chair next to his bed. His guess was he had moved it over towards the bed of his own accord and he frowned as he turned away. “What are you doing here?”

“Oh, you’re awake Owl. Good.” Senji answered smiling a little. He leaned back in the chair a little, making it creak slightly. “A couple of your friends stopped by to see you.” Nagi tried to go back to sleep rather than answer Senji. What was he doing watching over him in his room anyways? He curled up a little when a pain in his side started and he sighed a little in relief when changing his position helped a little. “One of ‘em was Game Fowl.”

“Karako?” Nagi questioned, unable to help but reply to this one. Karako was his best friend in D.W. and he hated to make her uneasy.

Senji smirked a little, though Nagi couldn’t see it. “Yeah. She was worried about you, but when she saw you were only sleeping she relaxed and decided to see you later when you woke up.”

Nagi opened his eyes and stared at the wall for a bit. “Oh.” It was all he could answer with at the moment. He felt a little bad for making her worry, since she was always trying so hard to make the plans for Scar Chain work. Whatever her dreams were, they were probably her whole driving force behind her work in Scar Chain. Sighing and tucking his head down into his pillow, he closed his eyes and tried to pretend to go back to sleep so that Senji would go away.

“Oh. I’ve got your scarf…” Senji commented, inspecting his nails. He glanced at Nagi and saw him twitch a moment. “You want it right?”

There was a pause before Nagi sighed and rolled over, sitting up on the bed and looking at him wearily. He swayed a bit on the bed as he stared at him. “Of course I do…” he whispered, “and besides, I won the Carnival Corpse right?”

“Yupp…” Senji answered, smirking over at him, “and Hummingbird lost a kidney too…”

“I don’t want to hear that!” Owl retorted angrily and looked at the floor, closing his eyes as the room spun a little. He wanted to lie down, but not until Senji gave him back the scarf. “Just…give me the scarf. I want to lie down some more, Crow.”

With a slight smile, Crow leaned forward, easing Nagi onto his back. “Then lie down…I’ll give you your scarf…”

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