Sitting, Waiting, Wishing

CHAPTER TWO

Must I always be waiting, waiting on you
Must I always be playing, playing your fool- Jack Johnson

Ashiya Shizuki sometimes had moments of genius. However, on most occasions these moments tended to backfire. This was one of those moments. He stared at Mizuki, her suitcase in hand, as she waited to be called to board her plane. He suddenly felt very silly and childishly betrayed. He had transferred his medical internship here to Japan in order to be close to Mizuki and watch over her until she graduated. He wanted to be here to support her in case she needed him. It appeared he had transferred here to late.

"What happened?" he asked her, trying to keep the hurt and bitter edge out of his voice. What was he supposed to do now? He didn't know anyone here. He would be stuck alone thousands of miles from home with no one to turn to. Worst of all, he had done this to himself. If he had kept his damned nose out of Mizuki's business he wouldn't be in this shitty situation.

She shrugged and smiled ruefully. "I was found out. They let me stay as long as they were able, but now it's over."

"Do you have to go home?" It was a foolish question. He knew that, but he felt like the fool.

"I can't stay, Shizuki," she pointed out.

"But what am I supposed to do?" he whispered. He was so stupid. He felt like he was being abandoned. This was ridiculous. He was way to old to feel this way. He'd gone off to college on his own just fine. He'd survived there by himself–granted it had been rocky and scary at the start– but he'd made it dammit! This situation was different though. He felt like the rug was being yanked out from under his feet.

She grinned at him brightly. "You have to finish your internship! You can do it, Shizuki!"

But I only came to Japan for you! He wanted to yell at her. He controlled the urge. It wasn't her fault this was happening. He was once again trying to play the protective older brother and it had backfired in his face. He had transferred his internship to the hospital closest to Osaka High. He had figured that by the time Mizuki was ready to graduate, his internship would be finished. They could have gone home together—but not now. Now he was stuck here. It was to late to transfer his internship back to the states. He was alone.

Completely alone.

There wasn't much to say after that. He wished Mizuki good luck and good bye. He gave her a hug and a kiss before she walked away. All the while his stomach was churning. It was really ridiculous. Somehow this felt worse than his first day of college. He waved at her back until she was out of sight, before shoving his hands in his pockets; feeling adrift.

"You looked like a kicked puppy," a familiar male voice sent a cold shiver racing up his spin.

He spun around and jumped back a step. "Ahh!" He couldn't stifle the yelp of astonishment. He raised his arms as if to ward off the person he was now staring at wide eyed.

Doctor Umeda...

Who was wearing a sarcastic, knowing smirk.

"What the hell are you doing here?" he asked in horror.

"I drove Mizuki here."

"Oh."

Umeda grinned, rocking back on his heels. "I'm not going to attack you. We are in a crowded airport."

"Right." Shizuki's arms lowered slowly. "I wasn't expecting to see you–."

"Ever again?" Umeda's grin broadened. "The feeling's mutual. In fact, I was really hoping not to."

"Yeah well...same here!" Shizuki snapped defensively, refusing to let his brain remember what had happened between them last time.

Umeda laughed. "C'mon. I'll buy you a drink." He turned and walked away, without looking back.

Shizuki, much to his shame, didn't even hesitate.

/

It was the same bar as last time. Shizuki was getting just as shit faced as last time. Umeda was smoking, drinking, and chatting casual just like last time. It was driving Shizuki crazy. It was like reliving the past. It was creeping him out. So he drank heavily to try to dispel the feeling. It refused to leave though. Instead, he decided what they needed was a change of subject. Something radically different. Once again, his moment of genius planted a giant foot in his mouth before he could think to stop it.

"Have you ever slept with a woman?" Shizuki blurted.

Umeda blinked in surprise before smiling derisively. "No. I've had no interest what so ever."

"So you've always been gay?" he experienced a brief moment where he wished someone would shut him up. Umeda certainly wasn't about to. He seemed to be enjoying these awkward questions.

"As far as I can remember since I matured sexually," the doctor replied evenly, before taking a drag from his cigarette.

Shizuki's curiosity won over his brain's warning of caution. "But why?"

Umeda quirked an eyebrow up, then leaned forward, pinning the blond in place with a piercing stare. "Why are you so interested? Are you trying to convert me over to your heterosexual ways?" He sat back with an amused smirk on his face.

The blond flushed in embarrassment. "I'm just curious. Men are supposed to be straight by nature anyways."

"Hmmm," the older man hummed differentially. He ashed out his cigarette. "My sister was an overbearing bitch, who used to dress me up as a girl for fun. My little sister hides her manipulative ways behind a mask of sweetness. My mother was smothering despite her love and best intentions. My father worked a lot so I rarely saw him when I needed him for such things as 'man talks.' He wasn't much of an alpha male influence anyways. He was, and still is, wrapped around my mother's finger. After living with practically nothing, but women and learning how their minds work, it just turned me off to ever wanting to date one."

"So you don't even find their bodies attractive?" the blond inquired.

"I find them beautiful in an aesthetically pleasing sort of way. Otherwise, no. I prefer hard bodies with long, lean lines and hard cocks," the doctor grinned disarmingly.

Shizuki blushed, as those gold eyes swept over him appraisingly. The two stared at each other–remembering. Umeda leaned forward unconsciously while Shizuki sat frozen in place. The blond thought his heart was going to pound out of his chest. Then abruptly Umeda sat back and grabbed his drink. Shizuki felt a flutter of some unnamed emotion in his chest, but he refused to analyze it.

"You almost look disappointed," Umeda remarked, after taking a gulp of his drink. Damned déjà vu!

The blond's hands clenched convulsively around his glass. "I think you're imagining things."

"Hmm...maybe."

There was a long moment of awkward silence.

"So if women are so great, why don't you have a girlfriend?" Umeda asked, turning the questions away from him for a change.

"How do you know I don't?" Shizuki snapped irritably.

The doctor gave him a 'you must be joking' look.

"Alright fine, I don't," the blond huffed indignantly. "We broke up a few months ago. We were even engaged."

"What happened?"

"She fell in love with someone else."

Umeda smiled smugly. The 'I told you so' was clear without even needing to say a word. All women were exactly the same when it came to love.

"Well, why don't you have a b-b-?" Shizuki stammered over the distasteful word.

"Boyfriend?" Umeda supplied with a sideways look of amusement.

"Yeah, that," Shizuki's ears were even flushed red from his embarrassment. "What happened to Ryoichi?"

Umeda's mouth twisted as if he'd bit into a lemon. "He got married. " He sounded more bitter than he'd meant to. "I don't want a boyfriend. I'm better off with fuck buddies."

Shizuki stared in shock.

"What? You don't do casual sex?" the doctor asked, interest piqued.

"N-No!"

Umeda smiled mockingly. "How sweet. How old were you when you go laid?" He wondered if the blond was gonna burst a blood vessel from the sheer pressure of blushing so hard.

"None of your business!" was the quick, indignant reply.

The doctor laughed before finishing his drink and lighting up another cigarette. "I was 15. I gave it up to the school doctor at the time. We did it right on the bed for sick patients." He took a deep drag, held it, and blew it out in a long breath.

"B-but that's–!"

"Sick? Wrong?" Umeda tapped the ash into a tray. "It was incredible."

Shizuki was still to astonished to speak. This guy was so open about sex. He was so casual about it, like it meant nothing beyond the physical nature of it. He'd waited until he found the 'right' girl and the right moment. He'd wanted his first time to be special. It had been. It was amazing, because he had been so in love. So what if they'd split up a year later. He'd never forget how wonderful that first time had been.

"So spill. Who and when," Umeda interrupted the blond's thoughts.

"I was 19–," he glared when the older man covered his laugh with a cough. "And she was my first long term girlfriend in college. She snuck me into her dorm when her roommate was out for the night. It was probably one of the best nights of my life."

Umeda smiled despite himself. This kid was such a naive sap. The urge to fuck the idealism out of him suddenly reared its ugly head inside him. He crushed down the wave of lust with difficulty.

God, why did it have to always be straight guys? He sighed to himself. He glanced over at Shizuki. He really looked at him for the first time since he'd seen him in the airport. Under the lights of the bar, the blond's hair reflected the deeper yellow color of the bulbs. The color was more dark honey now, then its nature cornflower yellow. His blue eyes seemed to shine brighter. His delicate, handsome foreign features were etched with shadows. He really did stand out. The hair and eyes were beacons of attention in Japan. He really was very hot, maybe too much for his own good.

He glanced around taking in the looks from both the men and women the blond was attracting. A few guys were eyeballing Shizuki like most men eyed steak. Umeda scooted his chair a little closer to the blond, glaring at them. His look was possessive and fierce. None of them could withstand it for very long before they turned away hastily. Umeda didn't let his guard lax as he turned back to his drinking partner.

The two of them chatted for a while longer, ignoring the passage of time, and enjoying the booze. The more they talked the more Umeda realized how much of a naive guy Shizuki really was. He had begun slurring his words and being more friendly to everyone. Umeda to actively start thwarting attempts from men and women who were trying to get to close to him. Shizuki didn't even seem to realize it. Umeda was getting exasperated. This kid was going to need watching. Turning him loose in Japan was a bad idea. He'd end up in a back alley somewhere getting gang raped before he realized what was happening. He didn't, however, want to get himself any further involved with the man. He was trying not to get to hung up on Shizuki. If he started spending all his spare time protecting the kid, he might as well write off any intentions he had of staying emotionally detached. But, someone needed to look after Shizuki.

Another blond man (albeit a bleached one) popped into his head. He began to smile wickedly. It was perfect. It would kill two birds with one stone. They would be so busy together they would stay out of his hair. In fact, those two would be perfect together. Finally, he'd found a use for the annoying photographer that was constantly dogging him.

Akiha Hara, look out.

The photographer would have no interest in Shizuki. He'd certainly be more than willing to help if he thought he'd be pleasing Umeda. What a great idea! He really was a conniving genius sometimes. He'd call Akiha tomorrow about it. For now though...

He looked over and sighed at the obviously drunk blond, who was now hitting on the female bartender. For now, he needed to get this kid back to where ever he was staying for the night.

/

Shizuki led the way around the corner and down the hall to his apartment with Umeda trailing behind him. The blond was already beginning to sober up. Being alone with Umeda was making his guard come back up and forcing him to be more aware. Being in a crowded bar with the gay man was entirely different than being alone with him in an empty hallway. Especially with Umeda's history of kissing him. He'd tried to tell Umeda that it wasn't necessary to walk him back up to his apartment. The older man acted like he was some teenager who didn't have enough sense to find his way home.

Shizuki reached his apartment door before he realized it. He stared at it in vague surprise. He glanced back at Umeda warily as he dug in his bag for his keys. The doctor smiled disarmingly, sensing his uneasy. He finally managed to find his key and get it in the lock then wrestled the door open. The damned bolt was to sticky. He made a mental note to tell the building manager. This had been so easy earlier in the day when he'd been sober and unaccompanied by a gay guy. Finally, he jerked the door open. He sighed in relief. Now, he could say the polite good night pleasantries before escaping into his apartment to put a locked door between him and Umeda.

"Well...um...good night. Thanks for helping me back to my place," he managed to get out as he edged around the door.

Umeda shrugged and nodded. "No problem. Thank you for drinking with me."

They both stood there for a moment, eyeballing the other.

"Listen," the doctor finally said. "I have a friend who I'd like to introduce you too." He tried not to cringe when he said friend.

"Why?" Shizuki asked suspiciously.

Umeda shifted uncomfortably. "He can be your guide while you're here. You don't know anyone right? And I don't feel right about letting your roam around the city, basically, defenseless."

"I'm an adult! I can take care of myself," Shizuki glared at him balefully.

"Sure, which is why I kept you from getting picked up so many times tonight while you were getting smashed," the doctor shot back vindictively.

Shizuki scowled. "I was aware of that." No, he hadn't been.

"Riiight. Well, anyways, Akiha will look after you. He won't hit on you. He's only gay for me. He used to be married though," Umeda explained, though maybe not as clearly as he could have. Akiha actually liked anyone who was beautiful, so there was a chance he might hit on Shizuki. He was half wasted too so he sorta forgot that fact.

"So he likes girls?"

"And guys. He's bi, but don't worry he won't hit on you. You're not his type at all," the doctor waved aside his concerns.

Shizuki looked mulish for a moment. Frankly, though, he'd be happy to have someone who could show him around. He didn't wanna be alone here either. Apparently, Umeda had noticed. "Oh, fine. I guess."

"Ok. Well, good night. I'll see you around."

They both stood there again, unable to think of anything else to say. The moment stretched out as both of their minds were drawn to remember previous endings.

"I think I need to stop dropping you off drunk at your door," Umeda remarked.

"Yeah."

"Well, good bye."

"Right, good bye."

Umeda turned and hurried away before he could give into the urge to kiss the blond again.

/

Umeda had chosen to have Akiha meet he and Shizuki at one of his favorite casual restaurants. He had half expected Shizuki not to show up either due to a sudden change of mind or a violent hang over. He was pleased to find the blond foreigner had already found a table for three when he walked through the door. He was mildly irritated, but mostly amused when Shizuki cringed and sunk a little further into his chair as Umeda took a seat to the American's right. They had barely exchanged greetings when the relative peace of the restaurant was shattered in less than a second.

"Umeda-sempai!" Akiha launched himself at Umeda with hardly a glance at the other person at the table. The doctor was ready though. He kicked a chair at the rampaging blond. He smirked in satisfaction as Akiha ran right into it and nearly fell over it. The photographer got his feet back under him and straightened his shirt. "That was mean, Sempai," he whined.

The doctor rolled his eyes. "Just sit down, would you? Can't you just say hello like a normal person?"

"So Umeda, did you invite me here to finally confess your undying love to me?" Akiha asked, giving him a guileless grin. He completely ignored the doctor's scolding.

The doctor rolled his eyes before answering curtly. "No. I asked you to come to meet him." He gestured at the blond next to him.

Akiha's gaze shifted to the handsome foreigner. His eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Is he your new lover?"

Shizuki spluttered angrily, turning bright red with humiliation and anger. "W-what! No!"

Akiha's eyebrows shot up in surprise at the vehement denial.

"Akiha Hara, this is Ashiya Shizuki, Mizuki's older brother," Umeda looked at the photographer pointedly.

"Oh my God! You're Mizuki-chan's brother! It's so great to finally meet you!" Akiha exclaimed excitedly, reaching across the table to grab Shizuki's hand and shake it vigorously.

Shizuki blinked in shock at the abrupt change in attitude towards his person. "Uh…nice to meet you too." He was starting to get an unpleasant chill down his spin. His 'gaydar' was starting to go off. He failed to notice that it had not gone off when Umeda had shown up earlier.

"Stop it, Akiha. You're scaring him. He's homophobic," the doctor remarked casually.

Akiha let go of the American's hand and sat back. "Oh, sorry. Why are you with Umeda-sempai then?"

"He's the only person I know in Japan, besides my grandparents," Shizuki admitted, flushing in embarrassment.

Umeda smirked in amusement. "That's what I need you for, Akiha."

"Oh?"

"He'll be here for several months for a medical internship. Since he doesn't know the area or anyone, and he's clearly uncomfortable around me, he needs a guide."

"I really don't-," Shizuki started to protest.

Umeda cut him off. "I had to keep him from getting picked up three times last night at the bar…by guys." Akiha couldn't smother his smile. The doctor actually smiled back at the photographer as he finished what he was saying. "He needs looking after."

"Apparently so. I would love to show you the town, Shizuki!" Akiha proclaimed, more than a little breathless that Umeda had smiled at HIM.

"Er, thanks," Shizuki did not look soothed by this exclamation.

"I'm sure Umeda-san's told you that I'm bi. Don't worry. I won't hit on you. You're not my type. Though you are beautiful and I'd love to take your picture! But really, I'm in love with Umeda-sempai. I would never hit on any other man," Akiha's eyes looked almost wild when he gazed over at Umeda.

Umeda shifted towards Shizuki like he might use him as a human shield if the photographer launched himself across the table. Shizuki in turn cringed away from the doctor like he had cooties. Akiha smiled at them in bemusement. The American clearly didn't like the doctor at all. That was perfect. He had nothing to worry about competition-wise from him.

"I'll take you to meet some of my female models some time. There's a lot of beautiful women I shoot pictures for that you might be interested in," Akiha broke the awkward moment.

"Models?" Shizuki cleared his throat and straightened up in his seat.

Akiha nodded enthusiastically. "Oh yes! I'm a professional photographer. I even had your sister model for me, though she was dressed as a boy at the time."

"Ah, well, thank you for the offer of meeting some of your…clients, but I'm really not interested," Shizuki said politely. Both men were suddenly looking at him with equally intense looks. What healthy straight male didn't want to meet beautiful women? Shizuki flushed. The unpleasant chill turned into a full shudder. "I recently broke up with my fiancé. She left me for someone else. I'm just not ready to meet other women yet."

"Oh, I'm sorry." Akiha apologized, looking relieved.

"Don't be. You didn't know. She was a bitch anyways. Good thing I realized that before it was to late," Shizuki smiled bitterly.

Umeda rolled his eyes. "Well that sob story deserves a drink to wash it down." Umeda signaled the bartender.

"It's to early to start drinking." Shizuki scolded.

"It's never to early," the doctor gave him an irritated look.

Akiha shook his head. "Don't you have to go back to work?"

"No, I took the rest of the day off. Those little teenage brats drive me crazy. None of them seem to understand that I have no interest in school kids," Umeda sighed and reached for his glass of scotch that the bartender brought over.

Akiha laughed. "Another love confession today?'

"You really get love declarations from the students?" Shizuki asked in shock.

"Yes, about three times a week or so. A few are rather persistent, but most give up after I turn them away. It's still very annoying," Umeda sighed, knocking back his drink.

Akiha shook his head. "Is that why you bring you're 'boyfriends' there? To scare off those love struck adolescents?"

"Yes."

"They see you with guys?" Shizuki asked. He was horrified by the very idea.

"Of course they do. It's probably why some of them take an unhealthy interest in him too," Akiha laughed.

Umeda shook his head. "You're making Shizuki uncomfortable."

"Oh, right. Sorry, sorry."

"So, when do I start this job of being Shizuki's tour guide?" Akiha asked, getting back to the intended subject.

The doctor rolled his eyes. "Right now. You don't have to take him anywhere today, but I would like you to at least look after him starting today."

"You make me sound like a misbehaving child," Shizuki scowled at the older man.

"With the way you drink I would have to say that you fit in that category," Umeda replied airily.

Akiha grinned. "I will start today then. What is your schedule like, Shizuki? Oh, and I'll need you phone number and address of course, so I can come pick you up."

Shizuki was to stunned to answer for a minute. Was this guy always so forward and annoying?

"I'll need you phone number too," Umeda sighed.

"What? Why?" the blond American's head snapped towards the doctor.

"In case of emergencies, of course," the older man replied.

Shizuki sighed. "Fine." He resigned himself to his fate. Umeda had already made up his mind that he wanted Shizuki looked after. What harm would it do to go along with it anyways? He did need to get to know the town. It would be nice to meet some new people. It would definitely be interesting to get a peek at what kind of work Akiha did. So he gave up fighting…at least for now, and gave them his information. He wished he'd known then what a mistake that would turn into.

/

Be a responsible reader and review!

I know that's a weird place to end this chapter. I couldn't think of anywhere else to stop. So anyways, besides the rather abrupt ending, what'd you think? Let me know. :D