The Big Burp

Tamaki flopped onto his bed with a happy sigh. Who cared if the twins had teased him. Who cared if Kyoya and Haruhi had been disbelieving. He knew he hadn't seen and felt an illusion or dillusion. Oh how happy he was! He was on cloud nine! Haruhi had never made him feel this way. Not ever!

He laughed softly to himself until the sound of rushing wind made him sit up. 

"You seem happy" Jeanie smiled from the corner of his room.

"Tree Princess!" Tamaki sprung up and twirled the love of his life in his arms.

"I had to come see you." Jeanie giggled afterward, "Oh Tamaki I'm so happy! The tree will be so happy too now we're having a baby. Darling it's just like I'd always dreamed! " 

"Oh Princess I'm happy t...Wait...What was that?" Tamaki's smile slowly faded.

"it's just like I always dreamed?" Jeanie repeated.

"No...The other thing..." Tamaki was suddenly very nervous.

"The tree will be so happy too now that we're having a baby" Jeanie grinned from ear to ear.

"Princess that can't be right..." Tamaki was thoroughly confused, "we've only kissed..."

"It's different for tree spirits. A man just has to hold our hands and kiss" Jeanie explained in her simple, carefree way.

"What? Princess you're really pregnant? I mean I've always wanted to be a Daddy for real and not just Haruhi's Make believe Daddy but..." Tamaki started to ramble and stammer.

"Oh no silly! Tree spirits can't have babies." Jeanie interrupted.

"But you just said..." Tamaki protested in a small voice.

"We can't. That's why the boy has it." Jeanie shrugged.

"Wha..." The colour slowly drained from Tamaki's face.

"in just three days you're going to be a mother!" Jeanie clapped excitedly.

There was a thud and Tamaki lay passed out on the floor. 

The next day Kyoya dragged Tamaki into the music room where the others were waiting.

"Tamaki you are very ill. I'm cancelling club for the day and sending you straight home."

"What? No! Kyoya I'm fine!" Tamaki insisted, horrified at the very thought of his beloved club being shut down.

"Fine? Senpai I saw you racing for the bathroom three times today" Haruhi pointed out.

"Yeah boss you only had to take one step into the dining hall and you bolted out again" Hikaru nodded.

"we followed and heard you hurling your guts up" Kaoru continued.

"Don't think I haven't noticed you dragging your feet. You look like death warmed up" Kyoya put a hand on Tamaki's shoulder, "you don't want anyone else to get it do you?"

"we're all worried about you Tama chan" Honey hugged his pink rabbit tight to his chest.

"yeah" Mori agreed solemnly.

"it isn't contagious I know it isn't. Please don't close the club" Tamaki begged, looking at them all with his puppy dog eyes.

"whatever is the matter then?" Kyoya demanded.

"Well you know that girl Jeanie..."

"the one who isn't all there?" Kaoru smirked with Hikaru wearing an identical expression beside him.

"yes that's the one!" Tamaki grinned but lost it quickly, "I really really love her and well...One thing led to another and..."

"Ooooh this is priceless! " Hikaru looked like Christmas had come early, "The boss has got his fantasy girl pregnant!"

With that the brothers burst into hysterical laughter.

"Oh this is too much..." Kaoru gasped from the floor.

"what's it gonna be boss? A ghost kid?" Hikaru was laughing so hard he was crying.

"Hikaru. Kaoru. This is serious." Kyoya adjusted his glasses, "Tamaki it's impossible. It's just been one day and surely you didn't get intimate at a zoo." 

That just made the twins laugh harder.

"Of course not! What kind of man would do such a thing!" Tamaki said indignantly, "SHE got ME pregnant"

"Tama chan...I think you're confused"  Honey knitted his eyebrows.

"Tamaki you're dillusions are reaching a scale I cannot possibly comprehend without consulting a psychiatrist " Kyoya shook his head.

"Oh yeah?" Tamaki undid his blazer and lifted his shirt. The whole room went silent. The twins stopped laughing and instead gazed open mouthed. Kyoya snapped his pen. Haruhi and Honey suddenly had larger eyes than usual. There before them was a boy with a very small but still very obvious baby bump.

"See? It's there isn't it?" Tamaki dropped his shirt, " I'm not crazy so stop acting like I am!" 

"May I?" Kyoya put down his note book and approached a now tearful Tamaki. Tamaki managed to nod and Kyoya examined the bump with gentle fingers.

"How is that possible?" Haruhi  joined Kyoya, "men aren't biologically equipped to have babies"

"He's going to have it through his mouth." A very proud looking Jeanie appeared nearby.

"What?! Through my mouth! I can't have a baby through my mouth!" Tamaki cried, the shock drying his tears.

"Course you can. You just burp it out" Jeanie approached them wearing her far away grin.

"I presume you are Jeanie correct?" Kyoya stood facing Jeanie.

"yes. You are Kyoya. That is Haruhi. Hikaru. Kaoru. Honey and Mori." Jeanie pointed to each host in turn.

"Gotta hand it to ya boss..." Hikaru got to his feet.

"She's actually very cute..." Kaoru moved in perfect sync with his brother as they circled Jeanie.

"For a spirit in last years leaves" they finished in unison.