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Death Note › General
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Category:
Death Note › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
25
Views:
2,311
Reviews:
39
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Death Note, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Didn't That Hurt?
A/N:
Months have passed. We're into July/August...somewhere around there.
L acts very immature.
Mello's losing it and L has no idea what to do.
WARNING: Mentions of self harm.
Evermist: I was wondering what nationality Mihael was too so I finally just decided to look it up and the name is distinctively Croatian. I did my homework...there's a first time for everything. : )
Chelzi: No worries. L is justice. Who's gonna believe a doctor over the best detective in the world? : )
THANK YOU!
CHAPTER 20
DIDN'T THAT HURT?
Mello had insisted he was fine but as time passed, L became more and more aware that, no, Mello was most certainly not fine. Something was terribly wrong with his lover and it hurt to have to see him this way.
The nightmares began not too long after the incident in the infirmary. Mello would be screaming, and crying, thrashing about on the bed, clawing to get away from L when the detective tried to comfort him. Every time the man woke his lover from a dream, it was taking the blond longer and longer to recognize that he was, in fact, L. The man who loved him, and would never, ever do anything to cause him harm.
His sexual behaviors had become increasingly disturbing. He would be fine one moment, then turn violent then next. He began begging L to hurt him and when the older man refused, he would attempt to hurt himself by pulling his own hair, biting hard enough to break the skin, pushing the detective down and trying to use his body as a weapon like what he'd done on his birthday. He would ask L to degrade him by taking him from behind, calling him names like 'bitch', and 'slut'. He would use crude language, telling the detective to 'fuck him like a whore'. He became angrier and angrier every time the older man refused to treat him in such a disgusting manner. Mello could tell him he liked it that way as much as he wanted. L knew he was lying and he was not fool enough to fall for it.
His mental and physical health were steadily deteriorating. He was withdrawn, depressed. His self esteem was suffering. He'd sit in front of a mirror for hours, then complain about how ugly he was, asking L how he could ever want to look at him, let alone make love with him. He started drinking, cutting himself, burning himself. He was becoming thinner and thinner, alomst dangerously so. He'd lie to the detective, saying he was eating even though it was clear that he was not. And every time L would ask him about it, try to get him to talk (he knew better than to suggest therapy for the boy), Mello would change the subject or ignore him all together. His self destructive behaviors would become worse until the detective gave up the fight.
Even his school work was suffering. He'd fallen behind Near again, almost into third. But most puzzling of all, when Roger called him into his office to discuss the matter, he didn't seem to care.
L knew that he had better come up with a solution soon before it was too late because he was /not/ going to lose Mello to this. He'd been given a taste of heaven and he refused to let him go, he'd never make it without him.
***********************************************************************************************
But tonight, things had been blissfully peaceful. Almost normal. The detective wasn't sure how long it would last but he was going to make the most of it while it did. Maybe if he made an extra effort to treat him more kindly than usual, his lover would snap out of it. L reasoned that the chances of that happening were less than twelve percent but that was enough to give him hope.
L sat on the bed with his back pressed against the headboard, Mello sprawled comfortably against his chest with the blanket pulled up to his chin. L was reading to him from a case file - some serial killer in Manchester - but as interesting as it was, the boy was much too distracted by the long spidery fingers combing through his hair to pay attention.
"Mello, are you even listening to me?" Apparently, the detective had noticed as well.
"Mm hmm..." When L stopped moving his hand Mello shot him a glare. "L...." he whined.
"If I'm boring you, I could always go read elsewhere," the detective suggested but as soon as he made to move, Mello nipped hard at the side of his neck. L laughed. "Okay, okay, point taken. Duely noted..."
"Keep reading to me."
"But you weren't paying attention," L argued. Mello, kissed the spot he'd bitten, then gave it an experimental lick, loving the soft sigh it produced. He kept going, kissing, licking, sucking, nipping at the soft pale skin until L dropped the file he was holding and gripped the sheet beside him. "Mmm-Mello.."
The blonde sat up and turned himself around until he was straddling L's thighs, arms around the older man's neck. As soon as he'd gotten comfortable in the detective's lap, L's mouth was on his, kissing him like there was no tomorrow. His hands instinctively found the blonde's hips and pulled him closer. Mello broke away for air, then began kissing a trail along the detective's jaw, down the side of his neck, to his collar bones and bit down, causing the older man to make this sound, a low moan at the back of his throat, that the blonde always felt more than heard. He nipped again and recieved the same reaction but when he began sucking on the abused flesh, L's hips pushed up against his own, the hands still holding him firmly in place. Mello pulled back to admire the mark he'd left. He'd be scolded for it in the morning but he loved the way it looked. It was like a little warning sign. "Mello's Property. Back the Fuck Off." That had such a nice ring to it so, he did it again. And again, leaving little purple bruises in his wake as he moved onto the next bit of exposed flesh. It wasn't long until he had L writhing beneath him.
He tightened his grip on Mello and lifted up his hips again while at the same time, pushing the blonde down into his lap. He did it again and moaned, biting down on his lip as his head fell back against the headboard with a dull thud. Mello giggled, pulling away from the detective's neck to look at him. "Didn't that hurt?" he asked, reaching around to rub the spot.
"Mmm...huh?"
"Your head, moron, doesn't it hurt?"
L stopped for a moment and cracked open one eye, unsuccessfully holding back a smile. For a moment, Mello just stared at his boyfriend like the man had gone mad, then rolled his eyes as he realized that what he'd said could have an entirely different meaning. "God, L! You're so immature!" he yelled, slapping the older man's arm. L just laughed. "Seriously, you are...now take your damn shirt off." He reached for the hem of the baggy white shirt and tugged.
L obediently lifted his arms, though he was still fighting to maintain his composure...At least until Mello leaned back and slowly stripped out of his own, revealing all of that tantalizing golden skin, one agonizing inch at a time. In the time it took for the garment to leave Mello's hand and drop to the floor, L had both of his hands in the boy's blonde hair and was forcing their lips together. The kiss was wet, and rough, their teeth clicking together once or twice as tongues battled for dominance. Eventually, Mello was the one to give in, letting L have control but showed his displeasure by dragging his nails down the older man's chest.
It wasn't long before L's was gripping his hips again, showing him how to move exactly the way he wanted him to. After a few moments, Mello placed his hands on L's shoulders, and started to move on his own, up and down in a parody of what was to come. L leaned forward, breathing hard, heart racing in his chest, and rested his head on the blonde's shoulder. Pale hands slid from hips up over a sweat slicked back, one disappearing into the boy's hair, guiding his head down close enough for L to catch his lips in a kiss.
"L...Please..." Mello whimpered, and just by the tone used, L knew his lover was already on the edge. 'Thank God', L thought. It had been increasingly difficult for the blond to get an erection, let alone orgasm.
The detective prepared his lover quickly but thoroughly, then slid inside, causing them both to moan. As he started to move, Mello's arms came up to wrap aroud his neck, his legs around his hips. "Mello, love, do you know how beautiful you are?"
L murmered. Mello didn't answer, only kissed the detective, after a moment, pulling back slightly and biting down hard on L's lower lip. The older man stopped abruptly with the sharp pain, the taste of copper on his tongue. He brought his hand to his mouth, only to have his fingers come back slicked with blood. Mello scowled up at him.
"God gamn it, L! Why did you stop?" he whined.
"Mello, why would you do that? It hurt."
The blond rolled his eyes. "Jesus Christ. I'm sorry, ok? Now hurry up and fuck me." L shook his head and sat up, carefully disentangling himself with his lover. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" L stood, located his boxers and pulled them back on. He was no longer aroused, far too uncomfortable with the situation to continue. Mello sat up. "Where are you going? Get back here and finish what you started!" L dragged his fingers through the knots in his messy hair, still shaking his head.
"No."
"What?!" Mello demanded.
"I said no!" L shouted back. Mello's eyes widened and he closed his mouth, shocked at his lover's unusually harsh tone. "I have told you time and time again, Mello, that I will not /fuck/ you under any circumstances and my stance on the matter has not changed, nor will it ever!" After a moment of tense silence Mello was off the bed and dropping to his knees in front of the older man, his hands going for the waistband of his boxers. L grabbed both of his wrists and jerked his hands away. "Just what the /hell/ do you think you're doing?"
Mello began to tremble and when he looked up, there were tears streaming down his face. "Please, L! Please, dear God, don't leave me! I'll do anything! I promise I'll be a good boy, just please don't leave! Please love me! I know I don't deserve it but, you're all I have." L stared down at the boy, horrified as he went limp and began sobbing. Not knowing what else to do, he lowered himself to the floor, then pulled the blond into his lap and held him as he cried, pleading over and over again, "Please, L...please don't leave..."
Tears stung his own eyes as L rocked Mello back and forth, stroking his soft blond hair. "Shh, love. I wont leave. I love you, I promise I'll never leave..." After a long time, the boy's sobs died down. He was still trembling but his breathing had evened out. He was asleep.
L lifted his off the floor and carried him to the bed, tucking the covers in tight around his body before going to perch in his favorite chair. He kept his eyes fixed on the bed, on his lover's sleeping form, nibbling on his thumb. He didn't even notice when it began to bleed. He knew he was losing Mello, and he'd never been so scared in his entire life because for the first time, he couldn't come up with a solution.
The great L was at a loss. What the hell was he going to do?
Months have passed. We're into July/August...somewhere around there.
L acts very immature.
Mello's losing it and L has no idea what to do.
WARNING: Mentions of self harm.
Evermist: I was wondering what nationality Mihael was too so I finally just decided to look it up and the name is distinctively Croatian. I did my homework...there's a first time for everything. : )
Chelzi: No worries. L is justice. Who's gonna believe a doctor over the best detective in the world? : )
THANK YOU!
CHAPTER 20
DIDN'T THAT HURT?
Mello had insisted he was fine but as time passed, L became more and more aware that, no, Mello was most certainly not fine. Something was terribly wrong with his lover and it hurt to have to see him this way.
The nightmares began not too long after the incident in the infirmary. Mello would be screaming, and crying, thrashing about on the bed, clawing to get away from L when the detective tried to comfort him. Every time the man woke his lover from a dream, it was taking the blond longer and longer to recognize that he was, in fact, L. The man who loved him, and would never, ever do anything to cause him harm.
His sexual behaviors had become increasingly disturbing. He would be fine one moment, then turn violent then next. He began begging L to hurt him and when the older man refused, he would attempt to hurt himself by pulling his own hair, biting hard enough to break the skin, pushing the detective down and trying to use his body as a weapon like what he'd done on his birthday. He would ask L to degrade him by taking him from behind, calling him names like 'bitch', and 'slut'. He would use crude language, telling the detective to 'fuck him like a whore'. He became angrier and angrier every time the older man refused to treat him in such a disgusting manner. Mello could tell him he liked it that way as much as he wanted. L knew he was lying and he was not fool enough to fall for it.
His mental and physical health were steadily deteriorating. He was withdrawn, depressed. His self esteem was suffering. He'd sit in front of a mirror for hours, then complain about how ugly he was, asking L how he could ever want to look at him, let alone make love with him. He started drinking, cutting himself, burning himself. He was becoming thinner and thinner, alomst dangerously so. He'd lie to the detective, saying he was eating even though it was clear that he was not. And every time L would ask him about it, try to get him to talk (he knew better than to suggest therapy for the boy), Mello would change the subject or ignore him all together. His self destructive behaviors would become worse until the detective gave up the fight.
Even his school work was suffering. He'd fallen behind Near again, almost into third. But most puzzling of all, when Roger called him into his office to discuss the matter, he didn't seem to care.
L knew that he had better come up with a solution soon before it was too late because he was /not/ going to lose Mello to this. He'd been given a taste of heaven and he refused to let him go, he'd never make it without him.
***********************************************************************************************
But tonight, things had been blissfully peaceful. Almost normal. The detective wasn't sure how long it would last but he was going to make the most of it while it did. Maybe if he made an extra effort to treat him more kindly than usual, his lover would snap out of it. L reasoned that the chances of that happening were less than twelve percent but that was enough to give him hope.
L sat on the bed with his back pressed against the headboard, Mello sprawled comfortably against his chest with the blanket pulled up to his chin. L was reading to him from a case file - some serial killer in Manchester - but as interesting as it was, the boy was much too distracted by the long spidery fingers combing through his hair to pay attention.
"Mello, are you even listening to me?" Apparently, the detective had noticed as well.
"Mm hmm..." When L stopped moving his hand Mello shot him a glare. "L...." he whined.
"If I'm boring you, I could always go read elsewhere," the detective suggested but as soon as he made to move, Mello nipped hard at the side of his neck. L laughed. "Okay, okay, point taken. Duely noted..."
"Keep reading to me."
"But you weren't paying attention," L argued. Mello, kissed the spot he'd bitten, then gave it an experimental lick, loving the soft sigh it produced. He kept going, kissing, licking, sucking, nipping at the soft pale skin until L dropped the file he was holding and gripped the sheet beside him. "Mmm-Mello.."
The blonde sat up and turned himself around until he was straddling L's thighs, arms around the older man's neck. As soon as he'd gotten comfortable in the detective's lap, L's mouth was on his, kissing him like there was no tomorrow. His hands instinctively found the blonde's hips and pulled him closer. Mello broke away for air, then began kissing a trail along the detective's jaw, down the side of his neck, to his collar bones and bit down, causing the older man to make this sound, a low moan at the back of his throat, that the blonde always felt more than heard. He nipped again and recieved the same reaction but when he began sucking on the abused flesh, L's hips pushed up against his own, the hands still holding him firmly in place. Mello pulled back to admire the mark he'd left. He'd be scolded for it in the morning but he loved the way it looked. It was like a little warning sign. "Mello's Property. Back the Fuck Off." That had such a nice ring to it so, he did it again. And again, leaving little purple bruises in his wake as he moved onto the next bit of exposed flesh. It wasn't long until he had L writhing beneath him.
He tightened his grip on Mello and lifted up his hips again while at the same time, pushing the blonde down into his lap. He did it again and moaned, biting down on his lip as his head fell back against the headboard with a dull thud. Mello giggled, pulling away from the detective's neck to look at him. "Didn't that hurt?" he asked, reaching around to rub the spot.
"Mmm...huh?"
"Your head, moron, doesn't it hurt?"
L stopped for a moment and cracked open one eye, unsuccessfully holding back a smile. For a moment, Mello just stared at his boyfriend like the man had gone mad, then rolled his eyes as he realized that what he'd said could have an entirely different meaning. "God, L! You're so immature!" he yelled, slapping the older man's arm. L just laughed. "Seriously, you are...now take your damn shirt off." He reached for the hem of the baggy white shirt and tugged.
L obediently lifted his arms, though he was still fighting to maintain his composure...At least until Mello leaned back and slowly stripped out of his own, revealing all of that tantalizing golden skin, one agonizing inch at a time. In the time it took for the garment to leave Mello's hand and drop to the floor, L had both of his hands in the boy's blonde hair and was forcing their lips together. The kiss was wet, and rough, their teeth clicking together once or twice as tongues battled for dominance. Eventually, Mello was the one to give in, letting L have control but showed his displeasure by dragging his nails down the older man's chest.
It wasn't long before L's was gripping his hips again, showing him how to move exactly the way he wanted him to. After a few moments, Mello placed his hands on L's shoulders, and started to move on his own, up and down in a parody of what was to come. L leaned forward, breathing hard, heart racing in his chest, and rested his head on the blonde's shoulder. Pale hands slid from hips up over a sweat slicked back, one disappearing into the boy's hair, guiding his head down close enough for L to catch his lips in a kiss.
"L...Please..." Mello whimpered, and just by the tone used, L knew his lover was already on the edge. 'Thank God', L thought. It had been increasingly difficult for the blond to get an erection, let alone orgasm.
The detective prepared his lover quickly but thoroughly, then slid inside, causing them both to moan. As he started to move, Mello's arms came up to wrap aroud his neck, his legs around his hips. "Mello, love, do you know how beautiful you are?"
L murmered. Mello didn't answer, only kissed the detective, after a moment, pulling back slightly and biting down hard on L's lower lip. The older man stopped abruptly with the sharp pain, the taste of copper on his tongue. He brought his hand to his mouth, only to have his fingers come back slicked with blood. Mello scowled up at him.
"God gamn it, L! Why did you stop?" he whined.
"Mello, why would you do that? It hurt."
The blond rolled his eyes. "Jesus Christ. I'm sorry, ok? Now hurry up and fuck me." L shook his head and sat up, carefully disentangling himself with his lover. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" L stood, located his boxers and pulled them back on. He was no longer aroused, far too uncomfortable with the situation to continue. Mello sat up. "Where are you going? Get back here and finish what you started!" L dragged his fingers through the knots in his messy hair, still shaking his head.
"No."
"What?!" Mello demanded.
"I said no!" L shouted back. Mello's eyes widened and he closed his mouth, shocked at his lover's unusually harsh tone. "I have told you time and time again, Mello, that I will not /fuck/ you under any circumstances and my stance on the matter has not changed, nor will it ever!" After a moment of tense silence Mello was off the bed and dropping to his knees in front of the older man, his hands going for the waistband of his boxers. L grabbed both of his wrists and jerked his hands away. "Just what the /hell/ do you think you're doing?"
Mello began to tremble and when he looked up, there were tears streaming down his face. "Please, L! Please, dear God, don't leave me! I'll do anything! I promise I'll be a good boy, just please don't leave! Please love me! I know I don't deserve it but, you're all I have." L stared down at the boy, horrified as he went limp and began sobbing. Not knowing what else to do, he lowered himself to the floor, then pulled the blond into his lap and held him as he cried, pleading over and over again, "Please, L...please don't leave..."
Tears stung his own eyes as L rocked Mello back and forth, stroking his soft blond hair. "Shh, love. I wont leave. I love you, I promise I'll never leave..." After a long time, the boy's sobs died down. He was still trembling but his breathing had evened out. He was asleep.
L lifted his off the floor and carried him to the bed, tucking the covers in tight around his body before going to perch in his favorite chair. He kept his eyes fixed on the bed, on his lover's sleeping form, nibbling on his thumb. He didn't even notice when it began to bleed. He knew he was losing Mello, and he'd never been so scared in his entire life because for the first time, he couldn't come up with a solution.
The great L was at a loss. What the hell was he going to do?