Saiyuki: Reborn

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Chapter 21


Goku nodded absently, slowly crouching beside the couch--he didn\'t
dare sit beside him, didn\'t touch him. His shoulders hunched as he
watched the still face of his lover, the gentle rise and fall of his
chest. //Are you gone?// he asked silently. //Are you not there
anymore? Did you go mad...just like Ahn-Shi said?// He
shivered. //Did you go without me?//

Jin sighed, looking away with his bottom lip held between his
teeth. //This isn\'t fair. Damnit!// He was drawn back suddenly,
however, by a sudden hiss of breath. \"Huyen?\"

Huyen gasped quietly, the hand that had been laid over his chest
curling anxiously. \"Go...ku....\" He reached out, blindly, trying to
reach through the layers of thick insanity swirling about. There were
so many images, so many memories--so much blood, and pain, and
loneliness. But somehow through it all a pair of gleaming gold eyes
continued to reach back for him. \"Goku...?\"

His hand started to move, but he managed to halt it before touching
the other. Goku\'s eyes were wide and fearful--he could feel Bosatsu
watching him--but he finally took a deep breath and completed the
movement. His fingers curled hesitantly around Huyen\'s, though he
eventually held them tightly. \"I\'m sorry,\" he whispered meekly, head
dropping. \"Huyen....\"

Huyen sighed quietly with relief at that touch. \"Goku….\" He tried to
tug him closer, just to have something warm and real he could cling
to with everything else so cold. \"He\'s...gone?\"

His eyes clenched shut. \"Yeah.... Yeah, he\'s gone....\" Goku bit his
lip. //I killed him...and your soul. It\'s my fault--I\'m sorry. I\'m
sorry, Huyen.// He opened his mouth to say as much, but nothing came
out.

Lan came up and set a hand on Jin\'s shoulder, hoping to offer some
comfort. //Huyen.... At least you\'re still here....//

\"Good.\" Huyen sighed with relief as he relaxed a little. \"And you\'re
okay now. I\'m glad….\" He started to open his eyes, but everything was
spinning around madly, brightly, making him ill. He quickly closed
them again. \"I want a smoke.\"

Bosatsu finally came forward, leaning over the edge of the
couch. \"Someone in your state should know better than to smoke,\" she
said humorously, resting her chin in her hand. She caught Goku\'s
flinch, and her eyes narrowed faintly.

Huyen grimaced at the sound of her voice; it was too familiar, making
his insides twist. \"Bosatsu….\" He lifted his other hand to press into
his forehead. \"Leave me alone for once.\"

She smirked faintly. \"Gladly. I\'ve been waiting for that.\" Bosatsu
straightened and turned towards the door. \"Come along then,\" she
called over her shoulder.

Goku winced beneath her words, eyes still tightly closed. //Huyen,
I....// His hand pulled back, though not enough to separate them just
yet. \"I....\"

//What?// Though it made him shudder Huyen forced his eyes open, his
gaze spinning as he tried to see Goku\'s face. \"Goku….\" He
gulped. \"What\'s going on?\"

Goku still couldn\'t meet Huyen\'s eyes. \"I....\" He finally pulled his
hand free, though his knees refused to move just yet. \"I have to go,\"
he whispered. \"I...have to go now....\"

\"That\'s right,\" Bosatsu called from the door. \"So hurry it up.\"

Lan took a step forward. \"Goku...can\'t you....\" He trailed off,
looking helplessly towards Jin.

\"She\'s taking him back to Heaven,\" Jin blurted out in
frustration. \"Because he took off his limiter.\"

Huyen\'s eyes widened, even if that rendered them even more useless.
Suddenly his hand shot out, snapping around whatever part of Goku he
could reach--it turned out to be his collar. \"No,\" he said firmly.

\"He doesn\'t have a choice,\" Bosatsu said firmly, crossing her long
arms and leaning her hip against the wall. \"If he breaks his oath
then he\'ll be killed.\"

Goku reached up, slowly curling his fingers around Huyen\'s. \"It\'s
okay,\" he whispered. He…suddenly felt old. All the years he\'d spent
alone...the few he spent with his two friends...they seemed to weigh
on his shoulders, pulling him thin until he could almost sympathize
with Ahn-Shi. \"It\'s okay, Huyen.\"

\"No,\" Huyen repeated, tugging at him sharply even if he couldn\'t put
any strength behind the gesture. He couldn\'t get his thoughts into
enough order to really understand what was happening, only that Goku
was leaving. \"Take me with you.\"

His eyes widened, though.... \"I can\'t, Huyen,\" he replied. \"You...you
don\'t belong there, and--\"

\"And I don\'t want you there.\" Bosatsu tossed her hair. \"Besides, you
couldn\'t survive there with your little mortal mind--it would tear
you apart. So just put that idea out of your head. Now, Goku, we\'re
due back.\"

//But....// He took a deep breath, and suddenly pulled close to press
his forehead against Huyen\'s stomach. //I\'m sorry--I\'m sorry, Huyen!
I wish I....// Goku shuddered.

Huyen twisted his arm weakly around Goku\'s shoulders, keeping him
close. \"I...don\'t care,\" he gasped, closing his eyes again. He could
tell that he wasn\'t going to stay conscious much longer--everything
was already going cold. \"If I stay here...I won\'t anyway....\" //It\'s
already inside me. Tenpou…Kenren…Nataku…I can see them.// He
shuddered, tightening his fingers.

Goku pressed closer, though...he couldn\'t stand it anymore. He sat up
again. \"Huyen...I\'m sorry I couldn\'t stop him. I couldn\'t...make him
heal you.\" Catching the boy\'s hand, he gripped it tightly a
moment. \"But you\'ll be okay now, right? You don\'t have to hurt
anymore, with me...trying to make you remember. You guys will be
okay.\" //They will--they\'ll be fine. Him and Lan and Jin.... They can
take care of each other now.//

Huyen hissed quietly as he forced his eyes open once more, capturing
Goku\'s gaze. \"I already remember,\" he whispered, drawing his
fingertips clumsily over Goku\'s face.

Everyone in the room went still, though none more so than Goku. He
watched Huyen carefully, judging his words, the look in his
eyes.... //You remember...?// Ignoring Bosatsu now, he shifted a bit
closer. \"Huyen....\" //Are....// He licked his lips. //Kon…zen...?//

\"Take...me back,\" Huyen said, his voice growing hoarse. \"I can\'t stay
here any more. I….\" He squeezed his eyes shut--there was a thick buzz
at the back of his mind, and thinking too much on it was making it
worse. \"Damnit, Goku….\" //Let\'s go home.//

Bosatsu was suddenly beside them, and she nudged Goku aside enough to
lean over Huyen. She forced his head back and opened an eyelid,
peering into his dilated pupil. After a long moment she straightened
again, her expression stern. \"Are you really willing to leave Earth?\"
she asked, her tone firm. \"Do you really want to give this place up,
Xui Huyen?\"

Huyen squirmed a little without Goku beside him. \"I can\'t stay here,\"
he repeated just as firmly. \"I...can feel it. I need to go back.\" He
shivered. \"Lan and Jin understand, and there….\" He coughed
weakly. \"...there isn\'t anything else keeping me here.\"

Lan came up behind Goku, bending down to set a hand on the boy\'s
shoulder. \"We do understand,\" he offered softly. //Please...even if
we\'re apart for a while, these two....// He smiled encouragingly at
Goku. \"You two go ahead.\"

Bosatsu nodded shortly as if that decided things. \"All right then.\"
Reaching down, she snagged Goku\'s wrist and tugged him upright,
holding on to Huyen\'s arm as well. She turned slightly, watching as
Lan and Jin stood back. \"Anything you want to say, better say it.\"

Huyen tried to lift his head, to see them, but he couldn\'t manage as
well as he\'d like. \"Lan….\" His face twisted. \"Jin, I….\"

\"It\'s all right,\" Jin assured, smiling down at him. \"We know. You
just take care of yourself, kid, and that damn ape of yours.\"

\"We\'ll see you again eventually,\" Lan added, lips curling. \"You\'ll
just have to sneak the back door open for us.\"

Pleased, Bosatsu straightened. \"Excellent. We\'ll have a party then.
Now.\" Tossing back her hair, she gave the two boys a tug. \"Let\'s go
then.\"

Goku turned to look at his friends. Hakkuryuu landed on Lan\'s
shoulder, chirping softly, and Goku shivered. It was too sudden, too
much. Lan and Jin…they had all just found each other at last. There
was so much he had meant to say, so much that should have been spoken
between the four of them. But Bosatsu was pulling them away, and as
the apartment faded, he turned further. \"You guys better come!\" he
shouted. \"And bring Hakkuryuu!\" A moment later their surroundings
were gone.

---

When Konzen awoke he had no idea how long he might have spent
unconscious. He was clad in simple robes in a small, comfortable bed,
and when he tried to move his limbs were oddly sluggish. Slowly he
pushed himself upright, and was startled as something brushed against
his neck and shoulders. //Hair?// He tugged at it idly, startled by
how smooth and bright it seemed. He shook himself as he glanced
around the room. //I am home. We made it. But…where\'s Goku?// \"Goku?\"
He slipped carefully out of bed.

Bosatsu raised her head, glancing at the door to the next room with a
faint smirk. \"So the sleeping prince awakens,\" she joked, refolding
her legs and adjusting the scroll she\'d been reading. When Konzen
appeared in the doorway, her smile couldn\'t help softening
faintly. \"Rest well, kid?\"

Konzen blinked at her dumbly. He was still feeling a little dazed,
and moving about was strange; he realized it wasn\'t because his limbs
were sluggish, but because his mind seemed to be working more slowly
than his body. \"Where is he?\" he asked, trying to comb back the too
long hair.

She turned back to her reading. \"Currently, I believe he is a holding
room. There have been...certain problems that have come up, and his
hearing has been delayed again and again, unfortunately.\" Bosatsu\'s
lip curled faintly. \"You may thank me later. For now, you should get
used to your new body, Konzen. I\'m sure it must be strange for you.\"

Konzen frowned sharply, quickly confining handhands to his
sides. //So we really did come back. But Goku....// \"Where is he?\" he
demanded. \"I want to see him.\" //I\'ll be damned if I let them seal
him away again.//

\"A holding room--aren\'t you listening? He\'ll probably be moved later
tonight. For some reason, his presence is making several people
wary.\" Bosatsu rolled up her scroll, glancing out the window. \"Now, I
have my own appointments to keep. You\'ll have dinner with me,
though,\" she added, standing and turning to face her nephew. \"And
then we\'ll see about the monkey.\"

Konzen snorted as he looked away. \"Whatever.\" //Some things about
this place I could do without.// He turned back towards his room,
keeping a hand against the wall; he still was unsteady. //I…really do
remember everything. It\'s kind of dizzying….// \"I want to see him as
soon as possible.\"

Bosatsu grinned. \"Of course you do.\" She padded easily to the door
with a vague wave. \"Until dinner, then.\"

---

Goku kept his head lowered as he was brought before the small panel
of judges. He wasn\'t really paying much attention to what was
happening--they were just reading off the circumstances for his
removing his limiter. And…it didn\'t really seem to matter much what
happened to him. These people here still hated him for...the last
time he was there. For what happened to the others and Nataku....

//I just.... It would have been nice, seeing him again.// Goku\'s
chest gave what was by now a familiar ache, making his breath pause
and stick painfully in his throat. So many days alone, waiting in a
cell like a prisoner—like an animal—and though it was frustrating and
annoying and frightening, his mind had only followed one
direction. //I wonder if he\'s okay....//

Konzen threw open the doors to the assembly room, marching deftly
inside. A few hours of rest had adjusted him better to his body,
allowing him to move with all the--angry--fluidity a god could
muster. \"Hold it right there,\" he declared, moving swiftly towards
the front. A murmur passed around those present, but he ignored it.

Goku jerked, startled, and he hesitantly raised his eyes. His jaw
immediately dropped. //K...Konzen...?// He shivered, shrinking into
the floor. //It…it\'s really....//

Tentei frowned as the blond approached. \"Konzen Daijou. It is...good
to see you well.\" He straightened in his chair, raising an eyebrow as
Bosatsu swept past the boy to take a seat at his side--she only
grinned. \"Was there something we could help you with?\"

\"I\'m here on behalf of the boy,\" Konzen said, folding his arms over
his chest as he faced the assembly. He didn\'t let his eyes slip to
Goku, however. \"As my charge, I find it personally offensive that his
fate would be decided without my being present.\"

It was clear that the others in the court were affronted by Konzen\'s
behavior--after all, no one had seen him since his return to Heaven
nearly a week ago. Tentei sat back in his chair. \"Are you aware of
what his situation is?\" he asked calmly, gaining the exasperated
looks of many in the group. He merely raised a hand to quiet them.

\"He removed his limiter defending me on Earth,\" Konzen answered
evenly. \"I understand the gravity of this crime--and I accept full
responsibility for it.\" He stood a little taller. \"It was in my
defense that he acted, and it was because of my incompetence as his
guardian that he was able to lose control. I--humbly--ask that he be
granted a more effective limiter and released back into my care.\"

\"That was not the agreement,\" one of the others spoke up. \"He was to
be sealed away or killed. How can we trust him to live here again,
after what happened? After what he did to *you*, Lord Konzen.\"

Goku finally tore his eyes away, though he was shuddering almost
violently. //It is Konzen--it really is. He sounds just like him,
talks exactly the same....// The chains on his wrists clinked faintly
in an all too familiar way.

\"I\'ve accepted responsibility for that as well,\" Konzen replied
sharply. \"And seeing as the boy\'s greatest crimes have resulted
either as a direct fault of mine or have affected me most grievously,
it stands to reason that I be allowed to decide what happens to him.\"

\"Your words are reasonable,\" Tentei stated loudly, ignoring the
muttered protests. \"But we will be watching the demon closely,\" he
added in warning, and he fixed Konzen with a firm stare. \"If any such
incident should chance to happen again, we will act swiftly and
harshly. Do you understand this, both of you?\"

Goku barely realized that he was supposed to be nodding, but he
managed to do so. It was getting too hard to think now, and he was
desperate suddenly for some quiet place to arrange his thoughts.

\"If such an event were to occur, I would accept your punishment,\"
Konzen agreed, bowing his head. \"And...I thank you. For your
compassion.\" He took a step back, waiting for Goku to be released.

Though it was clear many did not want his shackles to be removed,
Tentei silently instructed that they should be. He remained crouched
on the floor a moment, rubbing his wrists, and finally rose to his
feet. //I should....// Goku turned towards the group of gathered
gods, bowing his gratitude to them. He finally was able to face the
door, standing in Konzen\'s shadow as they left.

Konzen didn\'t speak for some time; he led them out of the assembly,
down the wide corridors and outside. Only then, when they were in
private, did he turn to face Goku at last. \"Are you all right?\" he
asked quietly.

He nodded a bit meekly, feeling cowered to be in the young god\'s
presence. It was familiar and wonderful and…terrifying. He didn\'t
know what to expect anymore. If it had been Huyen.... \"I\'m fine,\" he
replied, head tucked between his shoulders. \"Are...are you...?\"

Konzen snorted quietly, and just because he was sure no one was
around he reached out, jerking Goku\'s chin up just long enough to
grant him a brief, firm kiss. \"It\'s still me, you know,\" he told
him. \"Come on--let\'s go home and get you fed.\"

//Home....// Goku trailed along in the other\'s wake, watching his
back, the way his hair moved in the wind. //It\'s long....// He licked
his lips. //And…even if you say it\'s you...which you is it? That…that
wasn\'t Huyen a moment ago. Are you just...Konzen...?//

//He\'s quiet.// Konzen frowned as he led the way back to his
manor. //I guess I don\'t blame him. I…am kind of different.// His
eyes narrowed as he stepped inside and out of his sandals. //I feel
different. I remember…all of it.// He sighed. //And now, it\'s hard to
imagine how I was as Huyen.// \"Are you hungry?\" he asked
lightly. \"Though I suppose that\'s a foolish question.\"

He perked at the mention of food, if only a bit. \"Sure. They don\'t
exactly offer a lot to...prisoners.\" Goku rubbed at his nose, still
watching the other. They were in the halls just outside Konzen\'s
rooms now, and he dared to catch up a bit. \"Are you...really okay?\"
he asked, just wanting to be sure. \"I mean, you seem good, but....\"

\"I\'m all right.\" Konzen\'s lips pursed a moment as they headed for the
kitchen. \"You might have to get used to me again,\" he warned Goku,
somewhat seriously. \"I\'m not the same anymore. I
remember...everything, now.\" He could still see all those bloodied
images just beneath his sight, and he was a little fearful of what
his dreams might hold that night. \"But I\'m still him--Konzen, Sanzo,
even Huyen. I\'m sure it\'ll be strange for you.\"

Goku flinched a bit, glancing away as he padded after Konzen towards
the kitchen. //The rooms are the same,// he realized
vaguely. //Nothing...really has changed, except....// He glanced at
the god\'s back. //It really is strange.// \"Um...what should I call
you now?\" he asked softly, uncertainly. \"I mean, I know you\'re the
same, but...now we\'re here....\"

\"Well….\" Konzen shook his head slightly. \"I started as Konzen,\" he
answered after a thoughtful moment. \"And everyone here is going to be
calling me Konzen, so that\'s probably best. Though it doesn\'t really
matter to me.\" He slowed, glancing back expecting Goku to catch up to
him.

Goku was staring at the floor, considering, and he nearly ran into
the wall when he didn\'t turn in time. Quickly stopping to keep from
hitting his head, he hurried after Konzen again. \"Okay, Konzen,\" he
finally replied. They reached the kitchen, and Goku glanced around,
wondering if the place had been restocked, or if things had just
remained from the last time the two of them had eaten there.

Konzen started for one of supply closets, and was startled when a
small figure hurried in from one of the adjoining rooms.

\"Excuse me, Lord Konzen,\" the young woman, a maid, said politely. She
bowed deeply at the waist. \"I was just assigned to you, sir. Are you
and your guest hungry? I can prepare something for you both, if you
like.\"

//Oh, right. I forgot I used to have people who could do this for
me….// \"This isn\'t a guest,\" he corrected her. \"This is Goku--he\'ll
be living with me. But...don\'t worry about us.\" He realized she
probably wouldn\'t leave unless she had something else to do. \"I\'d
like you to prepare an extra bed in my room for him.\"

\"Oh. Yes, sir.\" Bowing again she scampered quickly from the room.

Goku watched her go. //An extra bed....// He leaned against one of
the counters, watching as Konzen started to hunt around for some
food. \"You probably don\'t need to make up another bed,\" he offered
lightly. \"They probably kept everything the same from before.\"
Turning, he reached into a cupboard where there was usually fresh
fruit, and he pulled out a few ripe apples.

\"It\'ll keep her busy for a while,\" Konzen replied. \"I didn\'t want her
in here fussing over us.\" It had been a long time since he\'d been
waited on, after all, and he suddenly didn\'t like the idea of eating
anyone\'s cooking but Goku\'s. He helped himself to one of the apples
Goku had found. \"At least the place is all set up for us,\" he
murmured. \"But then, we\'ve been here for a while, even if...I wasn\'t
awake for it.\" He took a huge bite, and choked slightly when he found
how much sweeter it tasted than a real apple.

Goku started to pat the other on the back, but his arm fell before he
could make contact. Had it been Huyen.... He shook his head. //It\'s
still him, right? He\'s just...Konzen, too.// Watching the god a
moment more, he finally started moving around the kitchen for
himself. \"Do you want me to cook?\" he offered.

\"If you don\'t mind.\" Konzen licked his lips, realizing that he liked
the new taste. It seemed to energize him more than it should
have. \"It\'ll be pretty strange, getting used to life here.\" He took
another bite and gulped it down. \"Everything\'s...so different from
Earth.\"

Nodding, Goku wandered around the kitchen, pulling out oversized
eggs, fresh meat, and even some potatoes. Their kitchen wasn\'t too
well equipped for cooking--after all, Goku had never required much
more than a hunk of meat now and again, and Konzen usually ate with
the court or had some snacks kept for when he studied late. //At
least I can make something, and it should keep for breakfast
tomorrow, too.// \"It will be strange,\" he agreed. \"I\'m sure Bosatsu
will be glad to have you back though, to help her with her work
again.\"

Konzen rolled his eyes. \"And I\'m certainly looking forward to that.\"
He watched Goku move about the kitchen a moment, listening to the
familiar sounds of cooking utensils. //He\'s quiet. It\'s strange for
me, too, but....// He set his apple aside so he could slip up behind
Goku, pressing his hand lightly against the small of Goku\'s back. \"Do
you want some help?\"

He glanced back, a bit startled by the touch. //Konzen....// \"I\'m
okay,\" he replied, straightening slightly. Goku tried a light
grin. \"My cooking\'s not going to have changed, so unless your tastes
have, it should be fine.\" //Konzen didn\'t usually touch me, not
unless it was to hit me over the head.//

Konzen\'s eyes thinned slightly at the look Goku was sending
him. //I\'m not really Konzen anymore. I\'m not really Sanzo, or Huyen…
or any of the others, er. Wr. We\'ll both have to get used to
that.// \"All right.\" He gave Goku a light pat before returning to his
apple.

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