Never Forget Where You've Been

Darkephoenix: Yeah, I dunno, It's been an accident, because I don't even look at the page before I post my own stories, it's just ended up a wonderful coincidence! Yeah, Troy's got a myspace page. Wonder if he ever goes reading things like this. You think if I got in touch with him and I asked REAL REAL NICE, he'd do Abel's quiet sexy about-to-do-battle voice and say a few dirty things for me? ;) Yeah, it feels good to get Abel and Alex back together. It's not all smooth from here out though, but it'll get better. It's clinical, and I don't really believe anyone can help me at this point, but thanks for the sympathy. Glad you're enjoying the story. Read on and enjoy. PS- I finally got the subbed version of YnM and MMMMmmmmmm.... *melts into a little puddle* They're even hotter in color! Is there only 13 eps? and is it in english? I'd love to hear the voice they gave Watari in english ;)

winterfrau: LOL wow. Yeah, Alucard is the most balanced character present, as sad as THAT is. Integra's.... always going to be integra and Alex is totally messed up. Abel is trying, but they all just run around in a giant soap opera, don't they? I'm glad you're liking the interactions. Part of why things are working out with Abel and Alex is because Alex has been contemplating the long span of her own life. We haven't gotten there yet, but we will! Glad you enjoyed. Read on and enjoy summore.

Astharoshe: not gonna beat you up! Glad you enjoyed the chapters and yeah, dreams are good, but 3D men are always better. Read on and enjoy!

Min: LOL yeah, I guess it's a kinda/sorta situation, eh? We're getting there! I promise, it'll be like.... as normal as it gets with Methuselah, Crusniks, and Nosferatu running amok! Thanks for the support. My thighs to not need pie and I wouldn't DREAM of taking someone's yaoi, cause if anyone ever took my lovely boys away, I'd destroy the universe in a tantrum. lol Thanks though! Could ya get me out of work for a week? :D That would be nice. GDI, I hate working >.<

DarkCrusnikMagician: My dear, you needn't hope. It'll get MUCH better between the two of them, and by the time I'm done with their make-up session, you'll need that scuba gear, cause you're gonna flood your entire town ;) Glad you enjoyed! Read on and enjoy summore!

AngelOfSilence: Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed! Thanks, I'm feeling a little better, just... exceedingly tired of just about everything! Read on and enjoy!

Chapter 19: Not Again

Alex snuck into Abel’s room to retrieve a new uniform for him, and back, while he showered. She laid the clothes out and straightened the bed as he finished up in the bathroom, replaying the events of their early morning. Abel came out of the bathroom, his hair loose, clinging to him in damp tendrils, a towel barely clinging to his hips. Alex turned to tell him about the clothes she retrieved, but stopped, her mouth agape when she caught site of him. He wore a wicked smile as he approached her, his gaze heated, his steps agonizingly slow. She had dressed in a pair of her leather pants, and a sharply cut, decidedly-sexier-than-normal black corset. Her hair was down and she’d actually put on a light dusting of make-up. She looked like she had when they’d been together, as though a day hadn’t passed, nor a foul word between them. Abel finally closed the gap, wrapping a curled lock of her hair around his finger.

“What’s with the sexy get up?” His voice had taken on a seductive tone and Alex shivered.

“I just thought it might be a nice change.”

“Very nice indeed.” Abel released her hair, watching her blush under his scrutiny. As she ducked her head to hide the fire in her cheeks, he leaned in, kissing her temple. She caught sight of the tent in his towel and her breath hitched. “Forgive me, Alexandra. I can’t quite help myself sometimes.”

“Abel.” Alexandra closed her eyes, but turned her face up towards his, not quite able to meet his gaze.

“Look at me, Alex.” She shuddered again under the spell of his voice and slowly opened her eyes, looking up into his. He let his eyes roam over her face, smiling warmly. She blushed beautifully and smiled back. Something passed between them that neither could have described, but it washed away all of the hurt that they’d locked away for decades. Alex found herself drawn as strongly to Abel as she had been in their early days and Abel, likewise, found himself hard put to resist her.

“We can’t, Abel. Not now.”

“I know.” She found her lips hovering over his and it felt as though he were stealing the breath from her. She braced herself against his chest and his arms locked automatically around her waist, his fingers brushing over the small strip of bare skin there.

“The kids... I really should go check on them.”

“I know.”

“Abel.” He pulled her in just as she leaned in and their lips met in a heated kiss. Abel cradled her face and angled her face up, stroking her lower lip with his tongue. She opened to him and moaned wantonly, pressing herself against him fully. He gripped her tightly, taking his time, exploring her. He coaxed her tongue into a playful battle and when she broke away for air, he immediately moved to her neck. She gasped when he nipped her, soothing her flesh with his tongue, and she finally had to muster the last of her willpower and pull away from him. He chuckled, savoring her taste.

“Forgive me. I just wanted a simple kiss.”

“Nothing between us is ever simple anymore.” Her words were playful and she smacked his arm. He feigned injury, falling onto the bed with a dramatic groan. His landing pulled his towel free and as his sculpted body was laid bare, Alex eeped and clamped her hands over her eyes, her face turning beet red. Abel laughed rather hysterically, re-wrapping the towel and standing. He reached up and pulled her hands away, only to find her eyes squeezed shut. He chuckled, his deep rumbly chuckle, and Alex melted a little, cracking an eye open.

“Am I so terrible looking when I’m naked? And all these years I though I looked good.”

“No, I’m mean, yes, you do look good... But I just... um...”

“Weren’t ready to see all of me?” Abel grinned, kissing her lower lip.

“Yeah.” Alex sighed longingly.

“I know, I can be quite overwhelming when so displayed.” Alex socked him in the arm and he burst into laughter again, gathering his clothes.

“Jeez, think much of ourselves?”

“Only when I can garner such reactions from beautiful women.”

“And what other women have seen you naked lately?” Abel turned, smiling at her.

“I have loved but two in my long lifetime, Alexandra. Only two have seen me thus.” Alex blushed and he grinned at her, pulling his pants on, discarding the towel. He pulled his tunic style shirt on, leaving the clasps undone, and approached her again. Alex began hooking all the clasps on his uniform, her cheeks holding their tint. When Alex finished latching all the clasps, she met his gaze and Abel brushed his fingers over her cheek.

“I missed you.” Alex drew in a shaky breath, her brows knitting at his words.

“I missed you too, Abel.” Alex threw her arms around him and he followed suit, lifting her and spinning her around. When he set her down again she snuck a quick kiss and moved to retrieve his collar and his outer robes, holding them out for him.

“You just want to see me in a collar.” He winked at her and she grinned.

“You bet your saucy ass. Now get a move on, the kids are probably grumbling about breakfast already. Abel chuckled, donning the rest of his uniform. Alex made for the door and Abel caught up quickly. As they began their trek through the corridors towards the children’s room, Abel took Alex’s hand and she intertwined their fingers, unable to contain the smile that brightened her face.

“You’re gorgeous when you smile. Has anyone ever told you that?”

“Someone told me that once, a long time ago.” Alex snuck a quick peck on the cheek as they rounded the last corner. She knocked and entered the room to find the boys playing a game of chess on their bed and Aurora sitting in Tres’s lap reading a book on mythology.

“Momma!” Aurora dropped the book in Tres’s lap and dashed over to Alex. Alex picked her daughter up and covered her in kisses, getting a round of giggles from her. “Hi, Abel!”

“Well, hello, Aurora.” Abel bowed to her and Aurora put on her best serious face, doing an awkward curtsy in her Mother’s arms. The boys watched the exchange, Cendricus adopting his usual glare.

“Hello Mother, Father.” Ilarius nodded to them and Abel reciprocated. Alex, however, wasn’t quite satisfied and walked over to hug him, ruffling his silver hair. He smiled and hugged her waist. She came around the other side of the bed to hug Cendricus, but he pulled away from her, casting her a withering look.

“Cendricus, what’s wrong?” Alex looked taken aback by his hateful behavior and he glared over at Abel, before looking back to his Mother.

“You wear his stench like a cheap perfume.” Alex stepped away from her son and clasped her hands in front of her, burying the urge to slap him. Aurora had half hidden herself behind Abel’s leg and everyone in the room stared at Cendricus.

“God damn it, Cen!” Ilarius swung to punch his brother in the arm, but Cen caught his wrist, his burning gaze still locked on his Mother.

“So, you abandoned us last night to go run around with him?”

“You wouldn’t know the first damn thing about abandonment, Cendricus!” Alex’s voice quavered, her eyes brimming. Still, her son was resolute in his anger. He finally released Ilarius’s wrist and the silver-haired boy rubbed his sore appendage.

“Wouldn’t I? I can see it coming, that’s knowledge enough.”

“You want to meet your Father so badly? Well, the reason you never did to begin with was because he abandoned us! You’ll never understand the weight of the situation, how dangerous of a situation it was. I could have lost you both, don’t you see? That is abandonment, Cendricus. He left us there without a backwards glance. I have always been here for you. I have always put your needs before my own.”

“And so the trend ends.” Alex turned from her son, brushing past Abel as she ripped the door open and fled the room.

“You are such an ass hole, Cen!” Ilarius jumped up from the bed, upsetting the chessboard and pieces, to follow his Mother. Aurora looked up at Abel nervously and he patted her head comfortingly. She turned a seething look to her brother, her little face red in anger.

“Why do you have to be such a jerk, Cen? You always ruin things.” Aurora moved to follow Ilarius, but Abel knelt beside her and stayed her.

“Wait, Aurora. Let’s not have everyone running all helter skelter. I’ll go get your mom and Ilarius. Be a good girl and stay here with Tres, ok?” Aurora looked up at Abel a little doubtfully. “I’ll bring her back, don’t worry.”

“Ok.” Aurora didn’t sound entirely convinced, but scampered over to Tres, who picked her up and hugged her, looking remorsefully over at her brother.

“Don’t be too harsh on Cendricus, Aurora. Your brother is going through a tough time right now. Tough times can make us act very much unlike our true selves.” Abel played with her hair, smiling comfortingly for a moment before taking off to find Alex.

A few moments later he could hear her quiet sniffling and the low tones of a conversation. He approached the small alcove slowly, not wanting to intrude needlessly.

“Mom, don’t listen to Cen. He’s been this way for months now.”

“You don’t think I’m abandoning you, do you, Rius?”

“No, Mom! I was happy to see you go out last night. I know Abel isn’t Cen’s father, but he’s a nice guy. I told Cen to give him a chance, but he’s just as stubborn as ever.” Alex sniffled and Ilarius sighed quietly.

“I don’t know what to do with him.”

“Just forget him, Mom. It’s time for you to be happy. It was so nice to see you as happy as you were this morning. I haven’t seen you like that since Dad died.” Silence fell and Abel waited for a few moments, still reluctant to intrude.

“Was Aurora upset?” Alex’s voice sounded small and unsure.

“Are you kidding? Abel was all gaga over her wings so she thinks he’s the coolest thing ever. Aurora can’t resist a fan.” Alex laughed a little and Abel could hear the creak of her leather and the shuffled of Ilarius’s shirt.

“You know I love you three with all my heart, right?”

“Of course, Mom.”

“You know I’d do anything to protect you three, right?”

“Yes, Mom, I know. And even though he doesn’t want to admit it, Cen knows it too.”

“My precious boy.” Alex began to cry quietly and Abel rounded the corner as the two fell silent again. Alex was standing, Ilarius’s face cradled against her shoulder. She held him tight and he held her back, letting her rock him gently.

“Alex, are you all right?” Abel stepped up to the two and Ilarius stood back from his Mother to look at him.

“I’m sorry, Abel, I didn’t mean to run off.”

“It’s all right, Alex.” Abel came to stand on Alex’s other side, smiling sadly at his son as the boy watched him.

“No, I shouldn’t have run off. Aurora’s probably scared needlessly and I’m sure I did more harm than good with Cen.”

“Cendricus is fine, Alex. I convinced Aurora to stay with Tres and Cen was still there when I left.”

Abel smiled at her reassuringly and she leaned into his shoulder, still holding Ilarius. Abel wrapped an arm around her and held the other open for his son. Ilarius returned the hug and the two of them held Alex until her sniffling died away. By then her make-up was a mess and her face stained with blood.

“Ma...” Ilarius wiped at the drying blood on her cheeks to no avail.

“I know, I know. I must look like a nightmare.” She smiled weakly for her boys and Abel kissed her forehead.

"You, uh... just might want to take a quick pit stop at a restroom before you go back.” Abel grinned at her teasingly and she elbowed him.

“Yeah, ok, I look like a mess, thanks.” Alex chuckled weakly and they escorted her back to her room where she freshened up. Ilarius and Abel waited outside, quiet for the first few moments.

“Sorry about Cen.”

“You don’t have to apologize for your brother. Besides, he’s under stress right now. It must be hard for him.”

“I told him not to be such an ass, but he’s jealous that I got to meet you and he won’t ever have the chance to meet his Father.” Abel sighed, looking down at his son.

“I know I wasn’t there for you boys when you needed it the most, but I am here now. You can always talk to me, Ilarius. I don’t expect unwavering, immediate, love and loyalty, I know it will take time to get used to the idea of me, but I will be patient for you, your brother, and your Mother. I know Hugue is your real Dad, and I don’t presume to replace him, but I’d like to get to know my sons.”

“But Cendricus isn’t yours.”

“True enough, but to be honest, science will never be able to prove that one hundred percent. If we ran a paternity test, I’d come up his Father. Besides, his true Father is... not around to take responsibility, and he’s missing out on a good kid.”

“How can you be so forgiving.” Abel smiled at his son.

“Well, number one, I am a priest. Number two, I know what it’s like to be so hurt that you say things you don’t really mean. If I’m not mistaken, Cendricus is feeling ousted from the family right now. Aurora’s Father is Hugue, and you are clearly my child, but he has been bastardized, and it’s left him feeling out in the cold.” Ilarius nodded, looking up into his Father’s face, contemplating.

“Wow.”

“What?”

“It’s like... looking into the future.” Abel laughed, patting his son on the shoulder.

“Well, for me, it’s like looking into the past.” Abel smiled and Ilarius leaned into his shoulder. Abel tentatively wrapped an arm around the boy’s shoulders and was relieved to find that Ilarius relaxed into him.

“Do you think maybe we could spend some time together?”

“Of course, Ilarius. Before you go back to my sister’s, we will have some one-on-one time.” Ilarius smiled and the two fell into comfortable silence until Alex returned, her make-up fresh.

“Sorry it took so long.”

“You look really pretty today, Ma”

“Thank you, love.” Alex hugged her boy and kissed Abel on the cheek.” When we get back will you take Ilarius and Aurora to breakfast, Abel? I think I need to talk with Cendricus.”

“Sure thing.”

The trio stood and walked back to the children’s room. Alex watched as Aurora and Ilarius left with Abel and Tres to go get breakfast, staying Cendricus with a tight grip on his shoulder.

“I think we need to talk, Cen.” To Alex’s amazement, she found her son wearing a look of misery as the door closed behind his siblings.

thanks to everyone who wished me well. sorry if it made anyone uncomfortable by talking about my depression, but sometimes it's hard to just pretend everything's ok when I feel like screaming. thanks again and hope you enjoyed the chap!