For All the Wrong Reasons

For All the Wrong Reasons

by Lemon & Chai

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Rating: N17. Bondage, S&M, D/s, and well everything else. Yuki-muse is horny.

Summary: A YukiFuji, SanaTezu fic, with eventual fivesome with Atobe. Inspired by kitti-chan and lolistar.

Warning: . . . where is this going again?

Review replies:

Angel_Baby: Waaai that's so encouraging XD yosh, I'll do my best to keep going, yakusoku!

i_banquet: Thank you XD wah, this story really did start as YukiFuji, but there's just more and more TezuFuji lately... -sweatdrop- but those two are OTP, deshou?

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Part 21

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Calloused fingers caressed the silky, honey brown locks that fell carelessly across the pillow. Intense hazel eyes captured the soft, pale skin and beautiful round curves of the face, the one he'd missed gazing at from time to time. Small puffs of warm air escaped familiar pink lips, relaxed from their normal mask of a smile by the cradle of sleep.

Tezuka had once memorized this face, but subtle changes appeared all around. The locks were longer than he remembered, framing the narrowed chin, and the sharpened nose that had taken on an elegant turn from being a quarter French. Even Syuusuke's lashes seemed longer and more lush.

This was a mistake. Only a few hours ago, Tezuka had sworn away his ex lover, determined to part with him for his own good. Now he was watching the tensai as he slept, touching him with his hands, caressing and protecting him as he had often done back when they were together. He knew he shouldn't be doing this. He should be out running, as he did every morning. He should be out training, or hiking, or fishing, as he liked to do on his day off.

He needed everyday things. His mundane, common routine. He did not need romance. He did not need others. He did not need Fuji. But it seemed some part of him, whatever part was controlling him at the moment, didn't care what he needed. It just wanted to take back the tensai that was his, despite all the warning sirens blaring in his head.

After Fuji had broken down crying, Tezuka had had no choice but to bring the small brunette onto the bed. The other three had rapidly vanished - Tezuka was sated, Fuji was exhausted, but those three still had raging libidos to nurture. Well, it was more like Sanada had been dragged off somewhere, with promises of two very tight asses that were waiting for it. Tezuka hoped his muscular boyfriend's stamina was as good as it looked, for the vice captain's sake.

Before they left, Yukimura had pulled him up and whispered to him, "He loves you, Tezuka. He won't be happy without you."

The rival captain had looked pleased, leaving the two teammates on the bed. Of course he was. In the end, Yukimura had gotten his way. Sanada was his again. Fuji had been deposited without drama back in his old boyfriend's arms.

Sighing, Tezuka shifted onto his side, wishing he could sleep as well to flush away his current train of thoughts. He hated being a puppet. Ultimately, he was only a tool used so that Rikkaidai's top player could snatch back his second. Ironically, Yukimura was lucky that Sanada started dating someone else; it created an opening, a weakness that came through the left over sludge of feelings Tezuka still had for another. And now Tezuka was left with the dilemma.

Whether Fuji stayed with Yukimura, or Tezuka took him back, the tensai was in danger. It wasn't that Fuji was terribly weak. But he wouldn't try to defend himself, especially not if he thought he was pleasing the one he was with. Yukimura seemed perfectly happy using Fuji as a sex toy, and Tezuka wouldn't put it below him to take the petite brunette along with himself and Sanada and use him like a pin cushion for their cocks. And as much as Tezuka believed in Sanada's nobility, he had to admit that the vice captain lacked perceptiveness when it came to relationships and his libido. Though Fuji could make anyone's libido go wild...

Tezuka tucked one of the soft brown strands behind the sleeper's ear. He was really only left with two choices. He could take Fuji back with him, risk repeating what he'd done before - and honestly, at the moment, he felt inclined to do so. He wanted to take Fuji away, bring him somewhere safe, and keep him there... all to himself. And that thought, that notion of keeping Fuji trapped inside a cage of supposed safety was exactly why Tezuka knew he couldn't do this. In the end, he would fall to his own possessiveness, masking it with a lie of protecting his beloved from others.

Which left the other option - join Yukimura in his crazy notion of multiple lovers. It would be nice, Tezuka supposed, to stay with Sanada longer - he did enjoy the time he spent with the broad tennis player. But why the hell was Atobe involved... the diva's flamboyance was too much for the stoic brunette, who'd learned from his grandfather that less was more. The only thing the two of them had in common was tennis, and a natural ability of leadership. And then there was Yukimura....

After shuddering, Tezuka gently wrapped his arms around the tensai's shoulders, drawing the other against him. This may be the last time he ever held his beloved. He knew he shouldn't leave the tensai with these people, but he was more afraid to stay. All in all, the worst one out of all of them was himself. And he knew Sanada and also the diva well enough to know they wouldn't let Fuji be hurt, not seriously anyway, by the predatory bluenette. He held the other close, breathing in his scent, vying not to be captured by the moment.

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Fuji wasn't really tired. He'd slept like a log all morning, and had a refreshing shower. But he could feel the sexual tension sparking through the room; lust seeped throughout, thicker than butter. He was too sore to handle any more, but he didn't want Tezuka to know that. Besides, he was upset, and being upset always wore him out, so falling asleep had been easy. This way, he wouldn't have to deal with the four leaders as they jabbed at each other. He thought he'd only pretend to sleep, so as to save himself some embarrassment after crying in front of everyone, but the next thing he knew he was cracking two sleep coated lids open.

"Good morning." Tezuka spoke with his usual quiet seriousness, but Fuji found this endearing. He always had.

"Good morning..." Fuji returned, a small smile growing on his lips. His expression, for once, was honest... a light blush crossed his face, his lids drooped slightly and the twitch of his lips was not a part of some fake emotional mask but rather a true sign of happiness.

It'd been a long time since he'd woken to Tezuka Kunimitu's calm, handsome face.

Neither took the initiative yet somehow their faces drew closer, and their lips met in a light, chaste morning kiss. Then the secondary kiss rapidly devolved into something more animalistic, lips sliding and smashing against each other and tongues meeting and clashing. The third and forth kisses blended into the second one, without any real break or boundary, as they re-mapped each other's mouths, before pulling breathlessly away. Tezuka kept his hand firmly on the back of Fuji's head, one of the perpetrators to their sudden escapade.

They breathed hot air onto each other's lips, before Fuji finally moaned, "You kiss like Rikkaidai."

Taken aback by the broken moment, Tezuka's first thought was to snap, 'same to you.' But somehow he knew that wasn't quite right.

"...You kiss like Hyotei."

Fuji threw back his head and laughed, light and honest. "If you've made out with Atobe even once, you'd kiss like Hyotei too."

"Hmm," said Tezuka, moving in for another test. Yes, Fuji definitely kissed like Hyotei, he decided after they broke apart.

"That's a grunt of satisfaction," Fuji translated, earning himself a glare. Tezuka pulled off his glasses, which had gone askew, though he'd only put them on to have a better view of that angelic face. Fuji took the action as an invitation for another kiss.

They broke apart, warm and panting. They were so, so close, a little closer and they would merge, but Tezuka kept an inch away. His pupils trembled as he silently conveyed his message to the one he knew could read him, even without words. I want to, but I can't. I shouldn't. This has already gone to far. Please understand.

"I missed talking to you," Fuji softly voiced. He could still read his captain, he always could, but that didn't mean he understood.

"You stood next to me-"

"You know what I mean." Sighing, Fuji lay his head against Tezuka's chest, hoping he wasn't breaking any boundaries. The kisses should have been permission enough, but it seemed the fleeting contact of lips and tongues was not enough. "You wouldn't let me read you. You always looked away..."

Because I didn't want you to see how I felt, Tezuka thought, closing his lids exhaustedly. I didn't want you to know how I still felt.

Unable to read the hidden orbs of hazel, Fuji reached out and took hold of the hands he remembered so well. He felt connected through touch, if nothing else. "I know that I..." The feeling of pressure on his hands gave him strength. "I have nothing for you." I have love for you, but that is all. And that is the only thing which I cannot ask you to accept. "Tezuka, I know I have nothing for you. I know I have nothing you want from me." My mind, my body, my love... none of it is pure enough.

Large, hardened hands clasped his, their warmth seeping into his fingers. It was no good... Fuji knew he couldn't let go, despite knowing how useless he was, how poisonous he was, he could not give up what he was feeling. He loved Tezuka. He remembered after being kissed so intensely, just how deeply he truly loved Tezuka. He loved Atobe and Yukimura too, but there was something about the way he felt for Tezuka, something desperate, so strong that it hurt... this was the man he could never forget, never let go of.

Tezuka drew close to him, until their foreheads met, and Fuji shifted his legs a little so that his knee brushed against Tezuka's. Just one more time, the action said, and the stoic brunette could no longer resist drawing their lips together. No matter how Fuji kissed, he still smelled and tasted and felt like the tensai he'd once made love to day and night.

Cheeks nuzzled as Fuji murmured, "I know I'm useless. I know I'm horrible. I know better than anyone just how abused and awful my body is, I know-"

"No."

"...No?"

"No, you aren't ... " Tezuka let out a heavy sigh, wondering if his voice could break through the wall of self-depreciation that Fuji had built so sturdily around himself. He had never understood it, and it had been there before, even when they'd started dating, and seemed to have gotten worse after the break-up. He had tried so hard, back then, to be encouraging... "You aren't awful, Syuusuke. Nor are you useless. It's just the opposite. There's nothing you can't do."

Breathing deeply, he focused on what he wanted to say. The small hands tucked within his own were so warm, the two of them were so close. Somehow, it wasn't as hard as he thought it would be...the words rushed out like the rapids of a breaking dam. "You mean everything to me, Syuusuke. You are everything. You can do everything, you can make everything, you can be everything. You are too wonderful, too brilliant, too sexy; I am turned on when I see you in the showers, when you're changing, when you're playing tennis, when you pass me in the hall, when I watch you sleeping like this...god...I can't stand it, I just want-" He grabbed the brunette and pulled them together, holding him tightly, erasing the small gap that had remained between them. I just want to make you mine!

Fuji could feel a heart pounding, and wasn't sure if it was his captain's or his own. He was a prodigy, he had an IQ of over a hundred and seventy, he was completing a degree in psychology, and yet he didn't understand...his blue eyes grew wide with confusion. Their legs wrapped together, chests and torsos connected, skin separated only by thin layers of fabric, and he could feel it as Tezuka had hugged him, a hardness pressed into his thigh, thick and almost painful.

Was it something left from earlier? Had Tezuka not finished fooling around with the other captains, when Fuji had interrupted? But hadn't Tezuka just said that he wanted... him... the tensai thought he had heard wrong.

He had to know. His hand slipped down curiously between them, only to be stopped by Tezuka's... Tezuka... was blushing?! No... the stoic brunette never was embarrassed. It had to be an illusion, Fuji was hearing what he wanted to hear instead of what actually was being said. All of this was in his head... but the hardness was not. What Tezuka wanted was.... oh.

"I... see..." So this is what he meant he wanted, Fuji thought. He needs someone to help him relieve this. "Nee... Tezuka. It's okay... you don't have to say those things." You don't have to lie to me. "I really want it too...see?" He pressed his hardening length against his captain's stomach. "I'm getting hard just thinking about you taking me. It's okay... to use me..." if that'll make you happy... "I'll be your doll..." at least I'm warmer than one "...I know that with others, you'd feel responsible if you slept with them, but you don't have to feel that way with me." For me, this is better than nothing. "Please..." say something "...take me..."

Tezuka had grown quiet. He was still holding onto him, hugging him so tightly the tensai could hardly breathe, but the captain's lips were drawn thin and downturned.

"Use me for pleasure...please..." Fuji whispered, desperation seeping the strength from his voice. "Please... can't I at least be worth that much..."

Something inside him cracked, and Tezuka realized it was his heart. His heart was breaking, listening to the one he had eyes on, the one he still cared so much about, begging to be used for sex. He knew Fuji was better than this, and also understood that only he would be given such a special offer, that Fuji was trying once again to use sex to bridge the gap between them. It tore him apart to know his Syuusuke was offering himself up as a whore in a last ditch effort to be close.

But at the same time, his libido, his horribly bloody libido, was throbbing like crazy upon hearing the offer. Just the image of him thrusting into the begging brunette, the lithe tensai whimpering, 'please, please', crying out for more, had his cock out of control. God... he was a fucked up hormonal teenager.

"N-..." he started, but cut himself off. If he said no, as he knew he should, Fuji would just fall further into his pit of belittlement. But to... to listen to his dick instead of his brain... things were already chaotic enough. Tezuka believed he had more self control than that... yet he could no longer stop himself from touching the damn thing. His hand that was holding Fuji's was so close, so close to the pointing member that wanted to spurt its way into a blissful oblivion. This would get no where if he didn't find relief... for both of them.

The tensai watched him anxiously, his eyes shaking with both hope and despair. "Don't speak," Tezuka mouthed to him, and the smaller one nodded, accepting the two words like an order from his sadistic bluenette. Pushing the dreadful analogy from his mind, Tezuka sank his hand down upon his aching manhood, almost gasping at the touch, giving it a promising stroke before tugging down his pants to free the bouncing thing. He heard Fuji's breath hitch as he brought his cock up the other's scarlet robe, parting the silk with his hands. Placing them on the smaller youth's hips, he repositioning their bodies as he pleased, bringing their torsos to the same level.

Simultaneous moans escaped from both of them as their cocks finally met. Tezuka took both members in one hand and pressed them together, roughly coordinating as they instinctively started to hump each other.

Despite how tired Fuji'd felt earlier, he couldn't get enough. He wrapped his arms around Tezuka's chest, hands gripping his captain's back as he tried to put more power and speed into each consecutive thrust. His stoic counterpart moved in a steady yet building rhythm, their hips grinding as they desperately tried to create better and stronger friction. Tezuka started squeezing their cocks as they thrust, creating a tightening sensation, and Fuji started pumping his thighs in shorter but faster thrusts. Pants and moans were swallowed by kisses, deep and wild as they thrust against each other, but their mouths let go for the sake of a series of heated moans when one of Fuji's hands also joined the fray. He'd needed more, and one of his hands had unconsciously joined Tezuka's in keeping their cocks in line.

Tezuka used his free hand to grab Fuji's ass, squeezing it in time with the rhythm he'd built. The tensai invitingly drew his knee up atop both of Tezuka's, his butt cheeks parting naturally as the captain's fingers slid into the crack. God, god, how he wanted this, how they both wanted this, how long they'd both been wanting this...

They were humping each other so fast and so hard that Fuji was almost crying with need and exhaustion. Sweat rolled down his cheeks and neck, his body glimmered with it, his skin smooth and flushed. Tezuka was only fairing a little better - he hadn't had a rough night as the tensai had but his manhood had been wanting release for over an hour, while he'd watched his teammate sleep. God, the smell of sweat and pheromones and Fuji and he could feel it, he was almost at the edge, just a second more and he would be there, but god, Fuji was just a step behind, and he wanted them to come together...

He jabbed two fingers up the tensai's asshole, and the scream that followed sent him over, he was spurting seed all over his Syuusuke and now Syuusuke was spurting all over him. Both of them were panting and moaning and rocking, and the waves felt so good even though they hadn't had sex.

Fuji found himself shot into cloud nine, and he was floating very slowly down from it. He body was still panting, his cock hadn't begun softening yet and he knew he wanted more. God, it hurt so much because his hole was so sore, but god, it felt so good, he wanted Tezuka to do it again, this time with his cock. It'd hurt so much he'd cry, but god he wanted it, right here, right now. Even if it tore him open.

Tezuka took him by the shoulders and lay him on his back, letting Fuji pant out his tension. His leery blues eyes shone out from his blushing skin, his vision fuzzy and drowsy but excitement rippled through his body as he felt his captain gently clean him off. The stoic brunette was meticulously cleaning both of them with tissues, depositing them in a small wastebin. Then he began straightening his clothes, brushing out the wrinkles and resetting his glasses. Without expression he sat back down on the bed, only to fix the position on Fuji's robe, making them both decent, before he began fixing the pillows and sheets.

Fuji felt his body grow numb as the implications sunk in. For a second he thought he'd cry, but it seemed he had no tears left for the day. Dry eyed and enervated, he lay on the bed, head turned to the side as he stared blankly at the nearest wall. He opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out, only a small sound that meant nothing.

It got Tezuka's attention, for he deadpanned, "I have no intentions of continuing," as if it weren't already obvious.

"...sou..." Fuji blandly replied. There was no need for any more discussion at this point, anyway.

It hadn't worked.

Whatever they were trying to do, whatever Yukimura had planned for him, it wasn't working. In the end, Fuji was still not good enough. Even to be a sex doll.

It had felt good. It had felt so good, even if they weren't having sex. It was true what his nee-san said, the person really made a difference when it came to sex. Love made a difference. But Fuji realized it had only made a difference for him. Tezuka... even after they'd come so vibrantly together... still did not want him.

It wasn't working. They weren't working. Whatever Tezuka and Fuji had shared before wasn't coming back.

Tezuka kept his eyes focused on the sheets, on the walls, on his clothes, anywhere but where Fuji was. He was relieved when the tensai did not cry or try to argue - his will power was already strained, but he was determined to end this. There was a moment he thought he could not walk away, but now that his hormones were settled, he found that he could. He had to.

Maybe it was for the better that Fuji misunderstood. Tezuka's flighty confession had almost closed his path of escape. It had seemed as if their moment of sexual intimacy would bind them, but by staying one step from intercourse, he'd somehow found an opening. He could do this. He could walk away.

If only he'd left a minute sooner, for at that moment, he turned to find three astonished tennis rivals blocking the doorway.

Yukimura and Atobe took in the situation immediately: a fully dressed Tezuka who already had his bag on his shoulder, Fuji who sat listlessly on the edge of the bed, eyes downcast and face unsmiling. They both half tackled the bespectacled captain, each taking a shoulder and shoving him back onto the bed, upon which he sat with a resistanceless plop.

They tacitly declared he wasn't going anywhere, but he kept his bag in place and ready to go. A few stoic glances told him that indeed the three had been sharing a rigorous playtime; his two rival captains held a satisfied, post coital glow and poor Sanada looked like he'd be tossed around by a hurricane, his cheeks slightly sunken and an air of dizziness circling his head. To say the least, he looked really drained, like he'd just climbed Mount Everist, his hat hair is a complete mess, skin slightly red and hickeys adorning either side of his thick neck.

Tezuka did not try to stand, nor did he respond to the angry and concerned glares from the two holding him back. His lack of expression was irritating the bluenette, and Yukimura was about to say something when Fuji, face concealed in shadows, interrupted. "It's okay..."

The tensai shifted his chin just enough that the bluenette could see the sorrowful, accepting glimmer in his soft, cerulean orbs. "It's okay, now. It doesn't matter anymore." His voice was quiet as a whisper. "We're both just tired." Of everything.

This isn't working.

Yukimura could hear the tensai's thoughts loud and clear. But it couldn't... it had to work. It had to work for all of them, Tezuka and Fuji included, or else Yukimura knew he would never have Genichirou back. Even if he tried to use the sex of the last few hours to his advantage, without Tezuka's involvement, whatever relationship the bluenette tried to scrape together wouldn't last. They'd fall to the same patterns as before, make the same mistakes, and he'd be left... again. And this time, not only by Sanada, but by the other lovers he was trying to take hold of.

He was sick of being alone.

Fists shaking, face ashen white, Yukimura declared, "6 o'clock." He was trembling, his voice was trembling too, and he felt very pathetic but he refused to give up. "6 o'clock, Friday. Here. All five of us are going to meet here this Friday, and we're going to work this out."

He gave Fuji a very pointed warning look, but Fuji's eyes stayed the same - sad, accepting, calm. He would accept whatever punishment Yukimura doled out if all of them don't come. He didn't care anymore. Apart of him had already left.

Tezuka was not oblivious to this exchange, but he said anyway, "And if we don't?"

"Then that'll be it," interrupted Atobe. For once, the narcissism was gone from his voice, and he sounded completely serious.

"We'll end this, and go back to how things were," Yukimura agreed, also serious. He was no longer threatening - now he was promising. "But on Friday, all five of us must be here."

A lightning bolt of hope flashed through Tezuka's eyes as he processed the captains' words. He had not expected this sort of resolution, but... "Do you swear?"

Yukimura nodded and crossed his arms seriously. "Yes."

For Tezuka, the word planted a seed of hope. For Yukimura, it was a scythe of desperation.

"If we all don't agree after Friday, then I'll break up with Fuji, and leave Sanada alone."

Forever.

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