Midian Evolution

Alucard didn’t have to look far to find me. I returned to my room, stretched out on the bed so I could have a good think. He entered my room during my fourth re-hash of the night so far.

Wordlessly, Alucard dragged my chair to the bedside and sat upon it. We stared at each other a long time. I had my mental walls at full strength, but I dropped them in order to listen to his subtlest, emotional vibrations. He would know what I thought, now, but I felt it worth the loss of privacy.

His eyes widened slightly. No doubt my brain tumbled around inside of his with alarming, pin-ball chaos.

“Stop,” he said gently. “Put your barrier back in place.”

Thinking he deserved it if my head made him uncomfortable, I did as he requested. “Talking to me now, master?” I asked. “What’s the occasion?” A cheap shot, but I didn’t know any other way to show my displeasure. I hated it when people deliberately left me out of things, and even worse when they did it to my face. I deserved better than that from him.

“You both made me so mad,” I said, not giving him a chance to speak. “Talking about me like I’m some five year old in the middle of custody dispute between mother and father.”

My master’s fists clenched. “There is no dispute. You are my responsibility. You chose to be my responsibility when you refused to drink my blood.”

I said nothing. Let him wonder. Yes, I’d refused. Not too long ago I’d recanted that refusal, but he’d yet to offer again.

“You will do as I say, not as Sir Integra says,” master continued in an ominous tone.

“I will heed you first,” I assured, but the seed of self-reliance nestled into my brain this night, and I would not lose my personality to his. “You are my sire. I can’t learn from you by resisting what you teach.” I let the statement dangle, and he, of course, immediately saw the importance.

“But, I should be careful what I’m teaching,” he finished. His eyes seemed to leak orange light. “I’m aware of every instruction’s importance. It isn’t for you to remind me of it, Seras.”

“I didn’t think so, but it’s worth making you mad just to hear you explain some of your mystifying motives.” So far I couldn’t see a sulk or a peacock in him. Perhaps Walter was mistaken? “And anyway, I trust you to punish according to the crime,” I said.

“You’re betting on knowing in what order of importance I put things,” he warned, standing up. “Be careful with that, girl. You don’t know how I assign value.” He stalked to the door and entered his own chamber, slamming the barrier between.

Sullen, miserable sulk, then. Score one for Walter.

I got up, went to my bathroom and started the tub taps. Apparently we went nowhere tonight. I felt grateful for the reprieve. All I rued was the state of my hunger.

I heard a knock at my door as the tub filled. When I opened it, I discovered a serving canister full of ice and blood packs, along with a little note.

I’m sure you need these. -W.

Bless the man.

I sat the blood on the tub’s edge, added orange blossom bubble bath to the water and lit the vanilla incense. I chose to light just one candle. Undressing, I slid into warm, slick paradise.

Oh.

Oh, God.

I thought I would explode with the perfection of the moment. It didn’t matter if my damned soul never saw heaven, because heaven existed right here in the Hellsing Manor, in my bathroom. I could swim in this potent liquor of girly-girl indulgence. Forgiving Integra now seemed as simple as opening one of these blood packs.

A tingle raced up my back. I knew that feeling. Master watched me from somewhere unseen. I’d probably leaked my joy into his head and he felt curious. He’d see what I did and go away soon.

Whole minutes ticked by in which the tingle did not abate. I finished the A- Positive bag and opened the A-Negative. The handy, tube-like openings made for easy drinking.

A little clock chimed in my room, showing I’d soaked a half hour. Still, he watched me. The bubbles concealed my body, mostly. Maybe he waited on a view of it? If I gave him what he wanted, would he go away and take his sulk with him?

I decided not to give him the satisfaction. He could ask for what he wanted, same as I did.

I washed my hair, used a little more of the Virgin White toner, rinsed and re-applied the Vampire Red to my stripe by looking at my reflection in the mirrored wall. I liked my hair this length, but I’d have to figure out a way to keep it secure…

There. I caught a flash of red eye in the mirror and knew exactly where he lay in wait. What a great trick, hanging out in a mirror. I could bet any reflective surface acted as his potential lurking spot.

Still, the knowledge didn’t help. I needed to get out of the tub before I turned into a bleached prune. He’d get his red eyes full.

I pulled the plug and stood, switching on the shower function to rinse off. Calmly, ignoring the sheer weight of his stare, I put on a bathrobe and wound my hair up in the towel. While I applied lotion, he still ogled.

I didn’t feel any relief until I entered the bedroom, but it proved short-lived. Master came in via his chamber door, making me doubt my instinct to his mirror presence.

“Be ready to leave here tomorrow at three hours to sundown,” he said.

“Yes, master.” I murmured.

“We’ll take a private plane to Scotland.” Alucard looked inside my open closet, hands behind his back and shoulders stiff. “Have you ever visited Loch Ness?”

“No, master.” I wished he’d change his hair back to black. The white had a dramatic effect, but I liked his ebony locks much more. “Will we see Nessie?”

“We aren’t going to see the monster,” he said, his tone very distant.

“What are we going to see, then, master?” I asked, turning the covers back on my bed.

“A private home converted into a den of iniquity for power-seeking humans,” he murmured, turning. “There’s no need to get your bed ready. You sleep with me today.”

God, he was so high-handed. I liked a man who knew what he wanted, but this seemed over the top. Not arguing, I grabbed my nightgown and donned it over my robe, slipping the robe off when finished. I’d feel ever so thankful when he got over his brooding. He didn’t have to take things so personally.

“You’re angry with me,” he said conversationally.

I shrugged. “I hesitate to even express it, since you think there are right and wrong ways to show anger. There’s the correct, vampire way, and the wrong, human way.”

He glared at me for a moment before looking away. “Just do it however you damn well please, Seras. I give up.”

I didn’t believe that for a second. Master giving up meant the Apocalypse loomed near.

“Fine.” I put a comb to my damp hair while staring at his back. “I already told you why I was mad. You redirected me into defending myself. Case closed.”

He turned, then, and his eyes glowed. I couldn’t make out what emotion he held, but it seemed strong and tightly restrained. “You’re only angry because I didn’t involve you in the argument?” he asked, tone very quiet. “That is the issue?”

“Yes, master.” He’d never apologize. I’d settle for him making an attempt to not overlook me. “Please don’t think of me as a child. I know I’m very young compared to you, but I’m not simple.”

“Of course you aren’t simple,” he rejoined, his voice now deliberately brusque. “Are you ready to sleep yet? How many more human, girly things do you need to do beforehand?”

I bit my lip to keep from smiling. “I’m finished.”

“Good. I don’t know why you had to soak in a stew pot and change clothes only to lay in soil.” He left my room. I followed, closing the door behind me.

He got in, arranging himself so I had room to join. I threw a leg over, hoisted myself to the lip, and immediately fell on him. Blushing, muttering apologies, I quickly slid off his body. He exhaled heavily before sliding the lid over us.

I could never keep from touching him in such close quarters. In the beginning I’d settled for winding a hand in his coat. Now, I wanted more. I spread my hand out on his chest, again hoping to feel one of his random heartbeats.

“What are you doing?” he asked softly.

“Your heart beats sometimes, you said so,” I answered. “And, I felt it earlier.”

“Did you?” Even for him, he seemed unnaturally still. “You…enjoy that?”

“Yeah.” I felt the leather under my fingertips, a combination of smoothness, ridges, and cold metal buckles. “I like the solidness. I know you don’t need your heart…” I didn’t know how to finish that sentence, so I just stopped.

He had an arm lying flat, so I put my head on it. “Pleasant dreams, master.”

He didn’t answer.

A little hurt, I shut my eyes. Just before I completely drifted off, I felt his heart beat six times.