The Past Life

My heart skipped a beat. I could feel my hands shaking, almost spilling the wine. Reacting quickly, Master took both our glasses and set them aside, then took my own hands in his. “Zoi?”

“I'm sorry, Master. I...” my voice dropped to barely a whisper. “I do...”

Neither of us moved, I wondered if he had even heard me. When he let go of my hands, for a brief moment, I panicked, but it was only to pull me into an embrace.

He held me close, with one hand on my back and the other on the back of my head. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to lean into him. “I'm sorry,” I repeated, my voice wavering, “I didn't mean for this to happen.”

“I know,” Master replied, stroking his hand over my hair, “it just did. We can't control such things.”

“Master?” I pulled myself back to look at him. He looked as though he was desperate to tell me something. Perhaps that... he too...

Whatever it was, he couldn't bring himself to say it. Instead he drew me into a kiss, a soft kiss that demanded nothing. We moved slow, taking our time that night. He was still leaning against the end of the bed, so I manoeuvred in front of him, straddling his legs.

His hands ran slowly down my back and then back up again. He stopped at my neck to lightly massage certain spots he had found earlier, causing me to moan softly against his lips. I didn't notice him untying the belt that held my robe closed until I felt him slip his hands inside and roam over my bare skin.

He pushed himself away from the bed and guided me down to the soft rug on my back. The fire to my left was the only light source in the room, although it was plenty. The orange light flickered on the walls and ceiling.

Master lay down beside me and immediately continued the kiss where we had left off, his tongue brushing my own lips before exploring inside. His hand ran down my side and over my hip before slowly travelling back up my body. His fingers just barely grazed my desire for him, causing me to tremble slightly, before moving on and over my stomach. Here he stopped.

It wasn't just his hand that stopped, Master froze completely. His fingers had found the scar from over six months ago. It was strange that this would cause such a reaction in him now, it never had before.

I pulled away to look at him, my fingers still tangled in his hair. “Master, what's wrong?” I asked, pulling one hand back from behind his head and placed it over his own hand.

“I'm afraid that I'll...” he paused and shock his head lightly before starting over, looking me in the eye. “I don't want to do anything that might hurt you.”

I was confused, he was saying things like this a lot lately. Why was he afraid of hurting me now? It must have something to do with my recent revelation to him. He knew of my feeling for him now, and it scared him for some reason. 'No,' I corrected myself, 'it should scare him, it should scare me as well.'

“Master, I can't imagine you doing anything to hurt me,” I said, hoping to help in some way.

“I did once.”

“No.” I rolled onto my side and propped myself up on my elbow to be more level with him. “That wasn't you.”

“I know, but...”

“Master, that's well into the past. There is no reason to dwell on it now.”

He gave me an odd look then, I don't know how to describe it exactly. Confusion, disbelief, sadness, all rolled into one expression. He was acting very strange, but thankfully it didn't last much longer. “You're right, I'm sorry I interrupted things...”

I smiled. “That's fine,” I said, gently pulling him close to me again.

He pressed his lips to mine and pushed me back down on my back, rolling on top of me. His kisses were deep, but slow. His hands leisurely exploring what parts of me weren't pressed into him or the floor under us.

The heat from the fire in combination with our close bodies was becoming a bit much. I squirmed out of my yukata, though it had long since fallen open, so there was little more than the sleeves. Master too took this moment to discard his own robe, tossing it behind him before returning to me.

His lips were on my neck then and he slowly make his way down the rest of my body. I eagerly anticipated what he would do next, but he was purposefully avoiding it, giving me little more than a few light brushes, and the feel of his warm breath.

I looked down at him and gave him a pleading look. I only got a smirk in response. It was frustrating to have him tease me like this.

“Was there something you wanted?” he asked, his hand and mouth so tantalizingly close. I was aching for any form of contact.

“Please...” My voice came out in barely a whisper.

“Close your eyes.”

I was confused, but did as he asked. For a few moments, there was no sound other than my own breathing, which I tried to bring under control while I waited. What was probably only a few seconds, felt then like an eternity.

When he did make his move it was unexpected and I gasped, forgetting my need to stay quiet. He had taken me into his mouth, but that was not all. I also felt him slip a slick finger inside me. I clamped me lips shut to prevent any more noise from escaping and opened my eyes to see my Master's head bobbing up and down slowly.

He caught sight that I had disobeyed his request quickly and stopped what he was doing immediately. I wanted to beg him to continue, but only managed to vocalize a small moan.

“What did I tell you?” he asked with a teasing smile.

“Sorry.” I closed my eyes again and he soon returned to what he had started. It felt incredible. Even though he had started quickly, Master made slow moves now. I allowed myself to relax and enjoy what he was doing to me. We had been together many times by this point, and he knew exactly which buttons to push.

I felt a second finger and let out a soft sigh. He was being incredibly gentle, almost too gentle. Instinctively, I pushed myself towards him ever so slightly and he gave a soft chuckle at this. “Patience,” he said, allowing his hand to continue where his mouth had left off.

My eyes opened again. “I'm sorry, Master,” I began, not really sure if I was apologizing for opening my eyes, or for being so demanding. “It just... feels so good.”

“It's supposed to,” he replied, smiling at me. I watched as his eyes roamed over me, looking as though he now craved something. “I must admit, I'm having some trouble keeping myself from... taking you right now.”

Inviting him to do just that, I opened my legs a bit more for him. “Please, Master.”

The temptation must have been too much for him, for he was soon leaning over me, pressing himself into me slowly. I sighed at this, closing my eyes and enjoying the sensation of having him inside me. It seems as though it always feels better than the time before.

I opened my eyes when I felt his weight on top of me, his lips kissing my neck, shoulder, collar bone, anything he could find. I brought my arms around his shoulders, wanting to hold him close as our bodies moved together. His breathing next to my ear was heavy. Occasionally he would whisper my name, how good everything felt, and would inquire into my well being.

I tangled my fingers in his black hair when he brought his lips down to mine heavily. He got me to shift my position a bit so that he could reach between us. The sounds of pleasure I tried to make were muffled by his mouth.

Seemingly satisfied that he could keep me quiet this way, Master continued to stroke me quickly. Obviously he was close to his own orgasm, as he was trying to bring mine on quickly. I always liked it when we were able to come together, the Master knew this.

My dampened moans were soon signifying my own release and his mouth pressed against mine harder as he too reached his peak. Our kiss broke mid-orgasm, but we both kept our silence, instead choosing to cling to each other as tightly as we could.

Master had fallen asleep soon after we had crawled into his bed, but I remained awake for some time. I watched him as he slept and thought about our relationship. Even though I was certain he did, he had never told me that he loved me. Why was that? I had told him my feelings, and despite how ashamed I was, he had readily accepted them.

I rolled over and faced away from him, wanting to try and find sleep for myself. My movement must have stirred him for a moment, for he reached and arm over me and draped it over my chest. I smiled at this contact and closed my eyes.

I had never been happier in my life than I was at that moment, and it would always remain crystal clear somewhere in my memory. It was the last time we were together.