Never Forget Where You've Been

Ok, so this has absolutely nothing to do with the story, just to let you know. I wanted to let everyone know that it may be a while before I'm able to update on any of my stories. As most of you know from reading my ramblings at the beginning of my chapters, my parents kinda went on strike and stopped talking to me. During that episode, my father had a very mild heart attack and no one told me until four weeks after it'd happened. Needless to say, I was deeply hurt.

At any rate, his doctors scheduled a radioactive tracer test to be run on his heart and lo and behold, they found an abnormality. He was put on a major heart attack watch and admitted to the ER and then the actual Hospital at the Kaiser in our city. They drew blood, took vitals, and ran an EKG every four hours yesterday. He was transfered about an hour or so south of here, to a hospital with the proper equipment for an angiogram this morning. They did the angiogram today, and found... nothing. He's fit as a fiddle and his arteries were actually really clean and smooth, no excess cholesterol build up or anything. So... my mother and I have run around like nervous nellies for the last 48 hours rather needlessly. The only thing we have to worry about now is an abscess forming around the collagen dam they used to seal up the cut in he femoral artery (where the angiogram went).

They did find what they called a "bridged artery" but it wasn't the elusive "abnormality" they supposedly saw on the P. Thallamus test. So, after all this running around and hearing of the possibility of open heart surgery and everything else, I'm rather worn out. I've slept about 4 or 5 hours in the last 48, and even though it's about 2:30 now, I'm finding it hard to quiet my mind, even though my body is dragging. So, all the drama being divulged: I told you that to tell you guys this. My writing comes to me when I am able to think about it emotionally. Maybe that sounds strange: thinking emotionally. Maybe it's an oxymoron. However, when my emotions are drained or overly raw, I kinda go a little comatose. I have actually found myself struggling to remember what little bit I'd had worked up for my original fic and the next chapter of NFWYB. I usually have a skeleton outline worked out in my head for the next chapter, and when I'm charged up I sit down and write. However, the skeleton designs I had are gone. As well as the first chapter to the new Yami no Matsuei fic I was going to start but not post. Don't whine about that one taking time from the others, because it's all DP's fault for getting me started on another group of hot ass bishounen.

So, as I sit here, staring at my computer screen, for the first time in a very long time, I am completely and utterly drawing a blank. I'm staying home from work for the next few days with my father to make sure that he does all right, and until I know that the dam in his femoral is healed over, I won't be able to sleep. See, if that cut opens up again, he could bleed out in about 2 minutes. The average ambulance response time in this city is 4/5 minutes. So, we're not completely out of the clear yet and until we are, I probably won't be writing much. I just want you guys to know I haven't abandoned my fics or my fans. I will still be writing, but I want to make sure that my chapters are the best they can be, and I'm not going to try to crank out crap just to have crap up in a timely manner. It's better to wait for a good final product, no?

All righty. That's my long-winded piece. I also have a new piercing in my ear and I can only sleep on one side, so the little sleep I did get made me sore as hell. I'm a genius with great timing like that. So, hang tight. i will write more asap, I promise you.

As much as I fight with my parents and question my love for them most everyday of my life, I never would have forgiven myself if my last words to my father had been angry and hurtful.

I love you Daddy