The Fine Line

Niamh saw the sun for the first time today in about four days. She had almost forgotten what it looked like.

First! I’m sooooooo sorry this is LATE. I had finals, and my sister is moving (so I helped her pack), and none of what happened is a good excuse! //cries

Second! Thanks for reading! I am sorry that this smut is less wonderful than the last.

Third! OMG CHAPTER 25! //dies

Disclaimer of Disclaimingness: I don’t own D.Gray-man. If I did…Sable would be canon.

WARNING: HOTT SEXY MAN-LOVIN’-MAN. YOU DON’T LIKE IT, GO JOIN THE HET NET.
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The Floor

By the time Kanda had the first two buttons undone, Allen was pulling his belt out of its loops while simultaneously pulling the ribbon from his hair. No matter how Kanda looked at it, it seemed as though this time he was going to follow the smaller boy’s lead – he even found himself stepping in pace when he was pushed back toward the bedroom. He didn’t particularly like that idea though, being they had only ever done anything on the bed. Why not somewhere else? Why not the floor? The counter? Why not any number of other places? The bed was soft and warm and good, but it offered little contrast.

Allen stopped kissing when Kanda stopped backing up. He was the leader in this, so why was Kanda acting on his own ideas?

“What?” He asked, dropping the belt to the floor.

“Pick it up,” Kanda said huskily.

Allen blinked at him with wide silver eyes, ran a hand through that soft black silk. “Why?” He asked as his palm came to rest on the samurai’s chest. The heart beneath his fingers pounded gently, almost calmly, and for some reason that made his own heart flutter in his chest.

Kanda cocked an eyebrow at him and smirked crookedly. Resistance wasn’t something he had been expecting but that was fine with him, there was always next time. “Never mind,” The arm he had placed ever so delicately around Allen’s back slid down a little until his fingers slipped beneath the fabric of Allen’s pants. “I just thought we would try something new.”

The white haired boy looked up at the pair of dark, lusty sapphire eyes that scanned his face beseechingly. “With a belt?”

A light blush spread across the Japanese man’s face, his pale skin reflected almost tan in the sunlight that streamed in the window. It did not feel like early evening to either of them, but the sun served as a reminder. Its rays made Allen wonder what Kanda would look like a warm summer day, his clothes discarded, his stoic complexion engulfed in warmth and radiance. He didn’t know, but he wanted to.

“Che, you didn’t seem to mind so much when…I held you still.” His voice was low, the hand that had been picking at the buttons started up again as if to distract him from his words.

Allen leaned into him and grinned. “And that makes you blush?”

Kanda looked down at his lover, studying that innocent face, a sudden wash of shame coming over him. His thoughts had been simple – Allen had liked being held down, so why not do it again? And he’d be able to do more with that pair of hands getting in the way if he just tied them up. But the idea made him blush, somehow. It washed his whole body with heat and bathed his heart in pricks of mild self-loathing. But why? Allen didn’t even falter when Kanda told him. I wonder if…I liked it too much.

“Love,” Allen looked away so he could press his face against the other man’s shoulder, Kanda’s scent was there almost instantaneously, nearly potent enough to make him forget what he was saying. “If you want to, we can do that. If you want to, we can do anything. I don’t care.” The ribcage he touched shivered slightly, the breath within almost stopped. “As long as you want to and as long as you’re still you.”

The Japanese man let go of the British boy’s back in favor of taking him by the shoulders steadily, pulling him far enough away that he could look down at his calm face. There was love in his expression, unfettered, lust, slightly withheld, worry, fighting for dominance, and trust. Pure, absolutely heart wrenching trust. There were no walls, no boundaries, just all of him, naked but for his clothes.

That perfect face broke in a smile. “K-Kanda – why…”

But the older boy just pulled him closer, kissed him lightly on the forehead. It wasn’t the lust that made him do it, or the worry. It was the love and trust, the willingness, and the sudden realization that he never wanted to hear Allen say please like that again. “It’s nothing, Moyashi.” He sighed into that white hair and rested his head there; ignoring the fact that Allen couldn’t follow his thought process or understand his emotions. When Allen looked at him like that fear took hold of him. The fear that one day, through a belt or a sword or merely a spoken word, Allen would stop making that expression. “Just shut up and do me.”
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Sable had the sinking feeling that something was wrong, if not with her then with Lavi and if not with him then with Uri. For some reason, ever since that day in the room his mind had been a complete mystery to her, as if he though nothing and everything at the same time. It was creepy.

The apprentice Bookman secretly thanked his lucky stars that he had found a way to avoid her knowing his every thought. It was an old emotion suppressing technique that worked very well when applied to thoughts as well, apparently. He could think about the coldness of the snow through his boots or the enjoyable coloration of her hair in the sunlight – it didn’t matter, there was still a wall of brick between his thoughts and the outside world. She would never know. She would never understand. And she could live with her thought woven illusions while he sat back and wondered what to do besides hide.

“You know, Lavi,” She said as they came to the front of the inn. “We might as well grab lunch. Those two are broadcasting sexual waves worse than rabbits.” She looked at him then from under the brim of her wide black hat and smiled. “No offense.”

He sighed and let his arms sag with the weight of their purchases, a disappointed expression on his face. He did not feel disappointed. “Alright, let’s go…”

“Your enthusiasm slays me…”
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Allen wasn’t sure what had changed in Kanda in that moment but something had. This though, this ‘nothing,’ was not something he thought he should ask about. Unlike the nothing before last, this one wasn’t his business – he could tell by the way his lover held him like a precious thing, as if he would break if touched too strongly. When Kanda had instructed him that it was now time to commit sexual acts, he wasn’t going to argue, such things would eventually make Kanda comfortable enough to share his most intimate thoughts as well as his most intimate of caresses.

They did not, however, make it to the bed.

When Allen required no more encouragement, Kanda smiled. Somehow, the younger boy knew when he needed to say something and when he just needed to share physical contact. He wasn’t sure if he had expected him to prod but it was nice to have him not do it, it was also nice to feel his shirt come out of his pants as he pushed the coat from Allen’s shoulders. He was still more naked, but they were getting closer to being even.

“Kanda,” Allen whispered, starting on his lover’s shirt buttons as his belt fell to the floor with a clatter.

“Hm?” He had been rather focused on kissing Allen’s neck at that moment, so words were a little difficult to produce.

He hissed when Kanda’s teeth closed softly on his flesh. “Ah…door – needs – locking –” But even as he pointed out this fact he didn’t let go of the elbow his left hand had taken a hold of. Fire danced in the line his lover was kissing, shattering his worry and willing him to do nothing but collapse right there on the floor, overtaken by desire that originated half in his heart and half in his loins. He couldn’t step back anymore, he couldn’t guide them. Instead he pushed Kanda’s now unbuttoned shirt all the way open and ran his right hand across the tense muscle within; felt the skin grow hot against his hand.

“Che,” Kanda pushed Allen’s shirt off. “If Lavi comes in he’ll get an eyeful that he deserves.”

Allen giggled as he pressed his mouth against Kanda’s.

It was not until they were both leaning on each other with nothing but their pants and boots that Kanda realized they were not moving toward the soft comfort of the bed. The irony struck him a little, but then he lost the ability to be struck by irony and simply gave in to the caresses that Allen gave him, need filling him from the bottom of his toes upward, thought vanishing with reason. He found himself falling slowly, following the younger Exorcist whose knees seemed to have given out when their lips parted.

A wooden floor, Allen thought has his knees hit it, Kanda leaned over him and Allen reclined against it, the hardness biting into his spine momentarily. This should be different. Kanda left his neck and mouth for an instant to rip at the laces of Allen’s boots; Allen took the time to undo the clasp of Kanda’s pants. Miraculously enough the two were disrobed at the same time, Kanda found his hands tracing circles over Allen’s hips, the hand that pushed his hair back sent a light shiver running rampant down his back. Even though he was not planning to, he found himself pressing down on his lover, arousal pounding through him like an unhindered river, overrunning its banks and making him do things without knowledge of them. Allen let his left hand slide slowly down Kanda’s side until it touched his lover’s length; his fingers gently fondled it, causing Kanda to briefly stop his kissing, his hands frozen in their slow circles. The small gasp in his throat made Allen smile. Kanda rolled his hips into his hand, pressed closer; Allen attacked his collar bone back, taking full control. Not that he hadn’t been leading them before.

His fingers and palm caressed gently, he sucked and nipped with enthusiasm. Slowly his lover stopped trying to please him, his mouth pulled away from Allen’s as he moaned with yearning. Ebony hair fell around them both as he brought his erection into contact with his lover’s, provoking a soft gasp of pleasure from him. It was easy for Kanda to lose himself like this, to forget that one day he wanted to make Allen feel this way without making him plead, without making him want beyond reason. His throat gave a short spasm when Allen’s hand wrapped around his hardness, teasing him.

Kanda almost laughed when Allen scooted away, reached toward the suitcase that rested on the very end of the bed. He knew what he wanted, but watching him try for it was laughable. He only made it worse when he ran his callused fingers down the young boy’s thighs, eliciting a whimper and a sigh when Allen’s hand found the thing it was searching for. It surprised Kanda when a rush of excitement went through him, a wave of heat that did nothing for his mental state. That innocent bottle of oil made him want Allen even more than before, though he had not known it was possible, and he found himself helping his lover with the cork, which had grown slippery.

“Love,” Allen said, leaning his head against the side of the bed. The bottle was in his right hand, Kanda’s shoulder in his left, but the Japanese man ignored his imploring tone to lay his lips lightly on his chest, kissing in a soft line that migrated slowly downward in a crisscross pattern, moving until a hand in his hair stopped him. “Love,” Allen said again, pulling his chin up to look at him. The British boy’s breathing was shallow, hurried, his skin died nearly crimson from yearning. He looked so very angelic like that, his white hair shining in the light, his pale skin flushed, his one hand holding Kanda’s arm as if to guide him. “You want to use this on me, don’t you?”

The Japanese man nodded slowly.

“Then should I teach you?” He shook the bottle back and forth as if it were some kind of treat.

Kanda smirked at him, titled his head to the side so that his hair fell over his right shoulder. “Moyashi-kun,” He leaned forward so that their faces were mere inches from touching, the bottle of oil slowly sank to the floor unthought-of. “You know that I never learn.” He kissed Allen gently, but his lips were unresponsive.

“What are you saying?”

Kanda took Allen’s hand and pressed it against him. “I’m saying that if it is better for you this way, I will always give up to you.”

“What?”

“Because I love you.”

Allen smiled at him lopsidedly before sitting up more to kiss him tenderly. “You always pick the worse moments to say these things, Love.”

Kanda laughed. “Che. Only you would say that when someone is confessing their willing weakness.”

“Only you would confess your weakness while I’m trying to sexually please you. Now stop.” The eyebrow he raised was playful and Kanda frowned at it with the same air. “Can I rape you now? Please.”

He said please.

“You don’t have to ask.”

Allen took that as a yes. Because they were on the floor and as far as he knew no one liked having their skull rubbed on wood he pushed Kanda back a little, sliding around him so that his face was in the crook of his lover’s neck, his hips lined up behind Kanda’s. This he had heard of once, or maybe he had walked in on it, and if he did it right Kanda would learn something of rhythm. That had been one thing lacking last time. Rhythm.

Kanda wasn’t exactly sure about what his lover was doing, but he let him. When he gave something, he gave it all and he never took it back. It was his nature. His weight was placed on either leg, each one bent beneath him, but Allen maneuvered him in such a way that the boy had access to his manhood if he reached for it and his entrance if he so much as leaned forward. If it hadn’t of been for the light, sucking kisses on his neck, Kanda might have asked what the purpose of this new position was. And then, as if to answer his question, Allen took a strong hold of him and began to stroke hard, bringing his small hand down with a force that immediately made Kanda push himself toward the sensation.

Allen figured that it was all the same as before, just from a slightly different angle. With that knowledge in hand he did all he could to coax his lover into moaning, into forgetting that he was about to impose on a rather personal space rather quickly. He had been about ready to just jerk himself off and be done with it before Kanda had gone on his long emotional confession of love. Allen knew that he loved him, knew that Kanda loved him back, but he sometimes felt that saying it got in the way of showing it.

He felt his lover tense when he placed a well oiled finger into him but that did not stop him from almost immediately sliding a second in next to it. The slight vocal response he got was more surprise than protest, and he waited a few moments just to be sure that it was alright with his lover. When Kanda took to gently rocking his hips again Allen removed his fingers and coated himself with oil, slipping closer until he held Kanda against him, his chest pressed firmly against his back, his hand still working. With great care he eased himself into Kanda, perfectly unaware that he had to hold his breath and close his eyes to keep from giving in to the urge that filled him.

“Love?” He gasped quietly into Kanda’s right ear. The man before him did not verbally respond, only let out a small breath. “Rhythm.” He said as best he could. Slowly he pulled back and moved back it, timing the stroke of his hand with each thrust of his hips. It took vast amounts of concentration and almost more willpower than he thought he possessed, but he could do it. He kept the same pace for a long time, until he began to forget about it, and then he increased his speed a little; the man in his arms gave a whimper and a shutter, the muscles against his chest grew tense. He started throwing himself into it.

As much as Kanda bit back the cry that filled his throat, it still sounded. It was a broken sound, but his lover found it beautiful nonetheless. The younger boy followed him over the edge of oblivion, fell sideways unceremoniously thereafter, his balance lost in the moment. He landed mostly on his left arm, partly on his hip, and the Japanese man gave a shaking sigh as he slumped forward into the bed frame.

For a moment the two did not move. A pair of vertical silver eyes studied a pair of sidelong sapphire ones, and the sapphires just stared back questioningly.

“Thoughts?” Allen asked with a small grin, still panting.

Kanda narrowed his eyes at him, his expression dark. “Che, we’re never doing that on the floor again.”

Allen laughed at him, smashing his eyes up so that his irises seemed to vanish. He made to speak but the Japanese man cut him off.

“And last time was better.”

The British boy glowered. “That’s not nice…”

“Che, honesty is the best policy.”

“This, from the man who thought it was possible for me to rape him.”

“Eh. I guess that I cannot argue that one anymore, can I?”

Allen sighed and pushed himself off of the floor, feeling heavy and tired. He found it odd that he would feel tired and sore after something like that but not so after killing fifty akuma. It made no sense to him. But what did make sense all of the time, really? “Was…there something you wanted to talk about?” He asked as he stood up, glancing around in an attempt to remember where he had dropped his bathing supplies.

Kanda used the bed as a means to push himself to standing. His long hair fell down around him, shielding his skin from the sunlight, hiding the soft curve of his hips and the arch of his back. Mine, was the one of many things those attributes brought to Allen’s mind. “I am not sure that I have words for what I mean to say, but I can try.” And somehow, even naked, he still seemed dignified. “If you enjoy…this more, when you’re in control, when I follow, when…I don’t necessarily get everything I might dream about, it is alright with me if we do it that way. Do you understand?”

Allen stopped looking for his pants and just stared at the older Exorcist. Could he really be that stupid? Could Kanda Yuu really be that dense? “Baka,” He spat, shaking his head. “I don’t want you to just submit to me and I don’t want you to just please me. If you want to tie me up with a belt and – I don’t know – lick warm honey out of my navel, we can try it. The idea is to find something we both like, something even, not something that makes me feel like an all-controlling god.”

For a long moment Kanda’s deep eyes just blinked at him, his hair wavered slowly with his breath. “Lick warm honey out of your navel?”

“I know, sounds kind of fun, huh?”

“No, it sounds sticky.”

Allen scoffed.

He came forward and took hold of Kanda’s hands, pulling him from his reclining position at the bed and leading him toward the bathroom, a small grin on his semi-serious features. “Well, we know that we like being clean, Love.”

“Ooh… right.”
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Sable sighed when her last plate of food was devoured and for the first time looked across to her tablemate. He was twirling what looked to be pasta around the end of his fork, a depressing expression marring his usually bright countenance like a smear of grime. His eyebrows were pushed together thoughtfully, his food untouched.

“Gah, you’re angst is making me angsty. Stop it.” She growled, narrowing her eyes at him.

He gave a sad smile that did not fit him and put his fork down. “Sorry. I was just thinking.”

She raised an eyebrow as if to ask what he was thinking about.

“It’s nothing,” He lied. “It’s not important.”

“Liar.”

“No, really. I’m just regular ol’ Lavi-go-lucky.” He flashed a bright smile that still did not reach his eye.

“Right, and I’m the Queen of England. Now stop it.”

“Stop what?”

“Hiding your thoughts. Ever since you started doing that you’ve been like a void of sadness and… I don’t know… annoyance.” She waved her hands at him looking away as if disgusted. “Dye your hair black and start wearing a cloak if you’re going to be all quiet and pensive.”

“I’m not being quiet and pensive.”

“Right. You’re being boisterous on this inside. I can see it. You’re as colorful as a newspaper.”

“Why are you trying to cheer me up by making me feel bad about myself?”

She shrugged. “If you can’t laugh at yourself, what can you laugh at?”

Lavi didn’t answer. He just played with his noodles, losing himself in his hidden thoughts.
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AH! Sooooo late! I’m sorry! Lo siento! Sumimasen! T_T

Ehem. Another chapter has come to a close, and I hope you liked it. Sorry that Kanda is such an emotional guy… he’s just so devout in my head, it’s hard to believe. Next chapter is //fanfare the boat ride and Christmas! If I can cram that much in one chapter, that is. :D

Thank you my wonderful readers and reviewers! Hearts, cookies, love, and bubbles for all!! Oh, and Happy Holidays!