The Fine Line

Sweet Jesus! Niamh is house-sitting for her sibling and thus has lots of free time to write. This is her lame excuse for updating so quickly.

Ehem! Hallo everyone! Nice to see you again, figuratively. This chapter is a little odd, and mostly about Lavi, so sorry Yullen fans, it’s time for some plot movement for the poor angsty boy. I had the idea for this a few days ago when Lable came up, so it’s not like I’m caving to the pressure or anything, just… upping the drama. You’ll see.

Disclaimer of Deliciousness: I don’t own D.Gray-man. If I did…Lavi would make that omg, what the hell is going on face more often. Just because it’s hilarious.

WARNING: Implied cute man-lovin’ and pretty darn EXPLICIT not cute man-lovin’. Borderline MOLESTATION this time. And vomit.
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Him

“Did it work?”

“Yes, like a charm. He won’t remember what he did or why, and he won’t remember her. But it may take him some time to recover a true sense of self.”

“I’m amazed, Rhode. I didn’t think you had it in you.”

She laughed. “It’s really not all that hard when you make it a game.”

He smiled. “Speaking of games, I may have come up with a fun one for you and me.”

“Really? What’s it called?”

“Hmm… I guess we can call it… Stubbornness.”
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“I. Hate. The sea.” Sable groaned at the waves, her fingers clenched tightly around the railing, her head hanging over the side of the ship. She retched again, tasted bitter bile in the back of her throat.

Lavi gave her back a little rub in a feeble attempt to calm her. “I’m sorry they didn’t have any ginger.” His touch made her glare over her shoulder at him; her braid fell down across her neck when she did.

“Just…go back inside. No one likes vomit.” She heaved again after that, her eyes watering all the while, and the end of her hair was unlucky enough to be caught in the spew. “Shjit,” She cursed, sagging against the side even more. It was more or less hopeless now. After eight days at sea she had managed to throw up on her hair twelve times, all of them because Lavi distracted her from the roiling disaster that was her stomach. She hated it. She hated him. She wanted to be left alone on land so she could curl up in a sad little ball and rub her tummy into being happy with her again, but that seemed unlikely. The Bookman apprentice liked to stick around and be sure she was alright, and they were still a day’s sailing to go. And then a day’s travel across ground. And then they’d get back to the Order on Christmas – which meant no one was going to be left alone.

Lavi frowned at Sable, feeling sorry for her. It seemed like when she wasn’t sleeping she was either eating or throwing up what she had just eaten with no in-between; it was only her will that kept her from just lying in bed all day, tossing her food into a vat or bucket. Instead she spent most of the time outside, emptying her gut in front of all of the passengers.

“Seriously though,” She said, scraping puke out of her hair fearlessly. “I’m almost done. Then I can go take a bath, eat something, and start over.” She did what she could to smile at him, because as much as she hated having him there, it was still nice. “I’ll be fine.”

He seemed to think about it for a moment before he sighed and shrugged. “Alright. I’m kind of worn out anyways,” He didn’t mention that she had been the one to keep him up. “So I’ll take a nap.” Sable nodded at him before turning back to her mushy business.

The red head sighed to himself as he walked, aware that he was thinking those thoughts again, the ones that he had tried to ignore since Sable had told him to dye his hair. The ones that made him wonder what the hell she had been talking about when she had told him that he liked a man.

Who? He thought as he came into their cabin, scratching at his bandana. I don’t like anyone that I know of…Crowley is a no. Komui is a geezer. Who else is there? Reever… ugh. I… don’t like anyone. I mean, I’m attracted to Lenalee – but she’s not a him and it’s not like that’s going to happen in ninety billion zillion years. He pulled his shirt off and sighed, deciding that it would be fine to nap in his pants – being he wasn’t planning on crawling under the covers and if Sable walked in, he wanted to have some form of dignity.

The blanket was cool against his back but not exceedingly so. It was the kind of coolness that could easily lull him into a pleasant daydream, if not sleep, the kind that made him close his eyes to the dimness that filled the windowless room. He liked darkness. In darkness he could let his worry play across his features without anyone seeing. He could give up being bright in favor of being thoughtful.

Who?

A sly smile crept across Tyki’s face as he watched the Exorcist prepare himself for sleep. The boy had been so lost in his thoughts he hadn’t even noticed him in the shadows. And now, as he watched silently, the boy reached up and pulled the colorful green headband from his forehead without opening his eyes so that he could lay it ever so gently on the stand beside him. It was a simple motion, something habitual, and somehow that one wave of his hand made Tyki think that perhaps this angst ridden youth was not used to being so, and that maybe he was just a happy-go-lucky person having a down day.

It was almost too much for him. If he were here to kill the boy he might have laughed, but given he was only here to torment him, it wasn’t that delicious. It might have been, if he had known Lavi’s thoughts.

The rules of the game were simple. Different places. Different people. Different ways of torture. He and Rhode would see whose prey gave in first. Who lost their Innocence willingly to have it stop. Who betrayed the Order for the sake of himself. Tyki was rather proud that he had invented this game, and the almost sleeping redhead gave him some wonderful ideas about what he could do. He could start with that headband. And maybe a length of sailing rope.
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“Kanda,” Allen said, looking sideways at the samurai. The two had been lying on lower bunk bed together, the older of the two reading while the younger attempted to understand what his book was about. He made a mental note to ask Lavi what kendo was, because he wasn’t going to embarrass himself by asking Kanda.

“Hm?”

“I wasn’t done with that page.” He reached over to turn the page back, his arm cross upward across his lover’s face. Kanda, who saw the opportunity to be too irresistible to ignore, reached up with his teeth and laid them gently on the red flesh of Allen’s arm, causing the boy to first squeal and then pull his arm back hurriedly. “What was that for?!” He demanded, glaring only half indignantly at him. Kanda’s face cracked in a smile as he took the hand back again and kissed it lightly.

“I’m sorry. Just in one of those moods.” He explained, cocking an eyebrow. “Are you in one of those moods?”

Allen laughed at him quietly before throwing his arms around him, knocking the book away onto Kanda’s hip. “And if I’m not?”

The Japanese man ruffled his hair and pulled him closer. Allen didn’t start on his clothes though; they just curled together for a moment, looking at nothing, just enjoying the warmth of each other. All was quiet for a while, the only sound the creaking of the ship in the sea. After a short time Kanda looked to his younger counterpart and smiled; his silver eyes had closed gently, his left hand still remained closed around his lover’s, and his breath came in deep sighs. Kanda strongly enjoyed watching Allen sleep just because it was so peaceful. He smiled out of the corner of his mouth.

It was the same as the last time they had crossed the North Sea, only with no hole in the wall. The food was still horrid, Allen was still tired and weak most of the time, and now Sable was throwing up what little food there was to have. It amazed him though, that Allen could grow so very exhausted while Sable remained somewhat less weakened, though she was technically eating less than Allen was, but he shrugged it off as being some slight difference in their Innocence. But that was not the point. The point was that it was because of that not-food that Allen would mean to do something adventurous and just fall asleep mid thought, his questing fingers forgotten, his half-aroused mind lost in darkness. Kanda might have found it all horrendously frustrating but he found it mildly amusing more than anything else.

Sleep well, Moyashi-kun, He thought as he turned to place a protective arm around him. You’ll need it for the day after tomorrow.
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Somewhere very near by someone stepped on a rather squeaky floorboard and it gave a protest that almost made Lavi open an eye to look. But he wasn’t paranoid – even if it sound like it was right there he knew it couldn’t have been – so he just inhaled and exhaled slowly, ignoring the sinking feeling in his gut.

He should not have ignored it.

A stifled scream attempted to get through his lips when he felt something pressed against them – his right hand reached for his hammer first but found it missing, so he lashed out blindly into the darkness, trying to find whatever thing it was that was trying to gag him with a piece of cloth, trying to sit up, trying to breath properly – but his efforts were wasted. Something wrapped around his throat with a suddenness that made him attempt to scream again, but the cloth pushed in farther, and he felt the distinct bite of rope, cutting into the sides of his neck, choking off his air. He fought like a madman, ripping at the material in his mouth, the rope on his neck, kicking at the invisible, intangible force that held him down.

The Noah waited until the boy was simply unconscious, because the point was not to kill. Instead he pulled the headband from between the boys teeth and smoothed it on his sleeve for a moment, tested the material for strength and malleability. It was long enough, strong enough, and ironic enough, so it would serve. He placed it back in the Exorcist’s mouth and stretched it out, around the back of his head, tied it in a secure knot. He then moved on to the rope he had brought with him – stolen right from under the noses of those sailors. It was thin rope, the kind used on the jib sail, but it was by far the easiest to tie and the strongest given its width; it would not give out when he needed it.

He locked the door and lit the lamp on the stand lowly, hoped that it would not wake the young man prematurely. As he took a length of gray rope and tied the Exorcist’s wrists, he studied the structure of his face, the lay of his hair. If he had not have known better he might have thought the boy simply sleeping. The red locks were shiny, though not conditioned to the point of femininity; the soft angle of his jaw might have spoken of European ancestry, but it was hard to tell. When he had both ankle’s firmly tied to the supports of the bunk bed his victim took to stirring gently, his one green eye slowly coming open as if he did not know where he was. Tyki met his gaze.

“Good afternoon, Lavi-san.” He said thickly, drawing up the stool and placing himself upon it. Lavi’s eye grew wide with fear at the sight and his limbs took to tugging at his restraints, but it did not take him overlong to realize that such pulling was useless. It seemed to him that every time he thrashed the ropes would tighten, and that wasn’t all together a falsehood. “You will find yourself in no position to fight me as you are, and you will find yourself wondering why you are not yet dead.” He took hold of the rim of his top hat and pulled it off, twirled it in his large, dark hands as he spoke. “And the answer is simple: I am not here to kill you.”

Lavi found himself struggling to understand the words coming from the Noah’s mouth. He had met the man before, but never like this. It was hard to keep down the panic in his mind, but he could do it because he knew who this man was, knew his power, knew that he was Tyki Mikk – the Noah of Pleasure, a man who did not say such things and have them not be true.

Tyki smiled when the muscles in the boy’s shoulders started to relax. “Ah, that is better. You see, I am short on time, but I will tell you this: you will be seeing a lot more of me. I am after you. I will not kill you and I will not destroy your Innocence unless—” Here his hat stopped twirling and his eyes caught the light of the lamp, almost catlike. “You tell me to. But I will not leave you be. I have many, many plans for you in the time it takes for you to call surrender.” He lifted an eyebrow at him; his tongue caressed the side of his mouth slowly as he pushed himself from his seat. His feet made light clomping sounds on the wooden floor as he stepped closer. It took all of Lavi’s will not to strain his arms pulling on his ropes. “Shall I show you what I mean, dear Lavi-san?”

No. He thought, pressing himself into the bed. No you shouldn’t.

He might just tickle me. I hope that’s what it is. Just tickling. Because I don’t want to…I don’t want him to…that would be…would be…

“But you do not shake your head at me, how lovely. This will be great fun for me I hope you know, though you might be a little worse for wear when I am finished.” He reached down with a gentle hand and touched the welt he had made on Lavi’s throat so that his finger traced lightly over it. His captive trembled as if revolted by the contact. His face split in a cruel smile. “This time there will be no escape, Lavi-san. Next time, I will offer you a way out, but now I will not. Now, you will live through this, and I will not let you escape.” His fingers ran in a steady line down his bare chest, pausing at the last junction of his ribs, his navel, and finally the fastener of his pants. He let his fingers play there as he spoke. “Do you understand, Lavi-san?” The sultry quality in his voice was undeniable.

No, He thought, turning his head toward the wall. I don’t understand. Why me? What me? This is a war dammit, not a game! What is this? Is this what I think it is? And I don’t want this. No. I don’t want it at all. Nonononono. Idonotwantthis. Let me go. Letmego. Letmegoletmegoletmego. His mind went rampant, ignoring any kind of logic he had at one point possessed. It only got worse when a pair of soft lips brushed at his Adam’s apple, teasingly licking and caressing his skin. He shivered again, closed his eyes to the sensation. I do not want him.

Him.

‘It’s cute. I’m sure that you’ll really get to see each other soon, too.’

Lenalee isn’t a him.

I don’t want him.

The Noah smiled at the tear that escaped the Exorcist’s eye. This was going to be far too easy.

Lavi did not understand. He had always hated Tyki Mikk, always despised the Noah, and yet his body didn’t seem to like hating him. The Noah was so gentle, caressing lightly, touching as if doing so too strongly would break Lavi, never letting his teeth graze his skin for more than an instant. No matter how many times he repeated in his mind that he did not want Tyki, did not love him, did not would not should not enjoy this, the growing hardness in his pants denied it all. And the entire time he was crying. Not because it wasn’t good – because it was – but because he didn’t want it to be good.

Please God, He prayed as a hand drifted beneath the fabric of his pants to stroke him. Make this stop.
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The knock that sounded on their door was not a soft one but there was something distinctly not-loud about it, perhaps the person had pounded with the wrong part of their hand, perhaps they did not want to be intrusive, or maybe they were just weak. Allen didn’t know, but the sound still woke him. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes he pushed his samurai-blanket (whom had fallen asleep) off of himself to go to the door. With a heavy sigh and a yawn he pushed the simple lock back and opened it.

A very sea worn Sable stood before him, holding her stomach and grimacing, her wet hair hanging behind her in messy tendrils. Her face was unspeakably pale, but the most unnerving thing was her eyes – glowing slightly green, her Innocence doing the same. Her eyebrows were pushed down over those translucent windows as if framing them in a protective roofing of hair.

“Sable-chan?”

“We don’t have time,” She half barked. “I was in the bathroom and I had the distinct thought that Lavi did not like something happening right now. So… so… I…” Her eyes blinked a few times and lost focus before coming back to Allen’s face again. Her expression was grave. “I looked for him in the bathroom mirror –”

“In the bathroom mirror?”

“Yes, shut up, that’s not important. It’s an Innocence thing. The point is that he’s in danger. We have to go save him.”

“Che, save him from what?” Kanda had woken during the exchange being Sable wasn’t exactly being quiet about any of it. He rolled gracefully out of bed and strode across the space between him and door. He was completely awake the moment he pulled his eyes open.

“It’s a Noah.”
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“Why are you crying, dear Lavi-san?” The man asked, kissing his closed eye softly. “Have I done anything to give you pain?”

Not physically, Lavi thought, even as he shook his head. The fingers still ran slowly up and down his length, a hand played gently in his hair. But you’re confusing the hell out of me.

“I see that you are not completely against me touching you this way, are you Lavi-san?”

I don’t know. I don’t understand. This isn’t a game! Just kill me if you want me dead.

“Shall I take you the rest of the way? Or shall I leave you like this, tied to the bed for your friends to find?”

Slowly Lavi looked at him, willing the man to understand that that was not an option.

He laughed, a low, reverberating sound that might have been friendly in other circumstances. When his eyes came back to Lavi’s there might have been fondness there, might have been a genuine understanding of Lavi’s condition. No one had ever looked at him like that. No one ever understood.

He can’t understand. Can he?

He made a lame attempt to speak around the cloth in his mouth. Just speak, not scream. He didn’t know exactly what he wanted to say, but he knew he could say something, anything really, that would perhaps clear up the tumbling emotions in his head.

“Oh, do you want to talk to me?”

He nodded. Tyki frowned at him.

“And how am I to know that you aren’t going to scream?”

Lavi did the best he could to look disbelieving. Yeah, like I want Allen and Kanda to find me like this. I’m so going to scream bloody murder.

“If you cry out, I will kill you, regardless of the game I am playing.” Tyki said coldly. When his captive nodded slowly he reached down and untied the knot that held the fabric in place. When it fell away Lavi did not yell, only coughed lightly and attempted to wet his lips with a dry tongue. He never imagined that the Noah would actually let him speak.

“If you leave me like this I’ll do everything I can to kill you.” Lavi said bitterly, surprising both of them. Tyki gave a half smirk that might have been taken as a tame grin, ran a hand through his already tangled hair.

“As if you would not otherwise?”

Lavi was quiet for a moment, thinking over the implications of what he said next. I don’t…want to kill him? “No,” He said honestly. “I don’t think I would.”

The smirk transformed into a too-wide smile, the white teeth that flashed at him did not frighten him as much as they might have in the past. “Well then, Lavi-san,” Tyki put one knee on the bed and leaned closer, Lavi’s face titled upward to meet his piercing gaze, “Shall I take this to be your declaration of war?” As he spoke his hand undid Lavi’s pants buttons, his fingers closed around the desire the apprentice Bookman had tried to deny. Lavi shook violently, his lips parted as if in protest. “Because I see that you are not yet trying to surrender.”

The red head leaned slightly forward until his lips touched the Noah’s, the ropes at his wrists bit into his flesh as he pulled against them to perform the motion. He did not know what he was doing. He did not know why he did it. But it made sense to him. It was all so wrong, so twisted, and yet it did not seem so in his mind. It was only a brief moment of contact, but it was enough to surprise the man that was trying to torment him. “Yes.” He whispered, kissing again. “I will fight you like this.”

Tyki smiled as he gently slid his tongue between Lavi lips, kissing deeply, caressing strongly. He had not expected this, but it wasn’t something he could not deal with. If anything it made the game more fun. He silently wondered how far he would have to take the boy before he stopped going along with it, if he would get to destroy his innocence and his purity, if he would be get to destroy the kinder of human emotions with his touch, with his meaningless coos of feigned passion and longing. He hoped it would be him that made the apprentice Bookman finally kill his own heart.

What am I doing? Lavi thought distantly. He was fully enjoying himself, feeling the waves of pleasure run through him, ignoring the fact that this was his sworn enemy, that he had not asked for this that he would never, ever, have wanted this in his life. Even as he liked it, he hated himself for liking it. He hated himself for being vulnerable. He hated himself for stretching against his bonds to feel more of that mouth, arching his back to feel more of that hand. He hated it. He hated it all. But he thirsted for it like a desert wanderer thirsts for water. Silent tears stained his face as he moaned.

I don’t want him.
I don’t want anyone.
I don’t want anything.
But it is all so good.
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Ooh! The plot movement! AH! Run in fear of the moving plot! It will crush you otherwise! I feel so bad for Lavi… poor emotionally confused baby-Bookman… QQ

Thoughts? I know you Lucky fans are squealing like fangirls and you Label encouragers are wanting to maul me like murderers. Sorry :(

You like? You review? Me write more? Need feeeeeeedback. And love to readers and reviewers!