Midian Evolution

He spoke rightly.

I writhed all day, wallowing in the dust on my belly like a snake. I begged him to touch me, using words I’d never imagined I’d use in his presence.

The sight and smell of my master drove me mad. I now knew why he’d hesitated to bring me here, to submit me to the mission. This hurt. It hurt like being beaten, and it only grew stronger as the daylight hours ticked on without his touch.

“Please,” I said for the thousandth time, crawling toward him. “Please, just use me, master?”

As he did every time, Alucard shook his head. “I can’t, Seras. If I do as you want, you might turn into something else. I’ll put down my guns and surrender to the enemy before I risk turning you into a filthy werewolf.”

“But, master…”

“No, Seras.” He backed away from me.

For a time I fell into numbness, exhausted. I awoke to the strongest desires, laced with exquisite agony and further muddled by disorientation. Master seemed to be everywhere at once in this cave, yet nowhere I could get to him. Desperate to relieve the burning frustration between my legs, I let my hands travel there.

“I’m sorry, Seras,” master said from somewhere above me. I couldn’t see him through my bloody tears. “I can’t allow you to do that, either.” I heard a creaking sound, the clink of metal, and something bound my hands behind me. One of the straps off his costume, the rational part of my mind concluded even while my baser side cried out in disappointment.

“I promise those humans will pay for what they’re doing, most especially for what they’ve done to you.”

“They…didn’t…know,” I gasped out.

“Do you think I view ignorance as a shield?” Master strapped my legs together next, but at no point did he even graze me with his skin. “I had no mercy for your lack of knowledge in Cheddar Village. I made you into my kind even though you had no idea what it meant.”

His menacing recitation, delivered in that gravel-grinding-in-honey voice, made gooseflesh erupt all over my heated body. I writhed despite the bonds, flipping onto my back so I could look for him. I felt shame for the way I acted, but even more mortified over the disgrace of my weakness. I could drop dignity to the roadside for him, but this magical compulsion I should be able to fight. I didn’t want him to see me this way.

“Master, I’m so humiliated,” I whispered, still not seeing him. “Please, don’t look at me.”

He made a small, unidentifiable sound. “The dishonor is mine. I knew not to bring you here, fledgling.”

A moment of clarity enveloped me. “Why me and not you, master? Why aren’t you suffering, too?”

“I’m old and tough,” he answered. “I’ve dealt with desire in every form, learned to control myself. If it makes you feel any better, I’m far from easy in either mind or body.”

It did make me feel better, marginally. But, the aching pain in my muscles and the hollow want between my legs made the assurance fleeting at best.

“You see why humans are so dangerous?” he asked. “They have their own, special powers. They can pick and choose between their gods for maximum effect, while we Midians must align with simple darkness.”

God, just his voice threatened to get me off.

“Master, I can’t take the sound of you,” I whispered. “If the whole idea is to prevent me from orgasm, please be silent.”

He quieted obligingly, leaving me to put up with the misery as I could.

Hours passed. Gradually, the horrible throbbing began to abate. I felt angry now, furious with the magic-using humans and even Sir Integra. Master had informed her what would happen to me. He’d said, “She will not be spoiled randomly.”

Once again, Hellsing Organization’s itinerary was more important than her two vampires. I felt bone-weary with the injustice. We were animals to the very people we served and protected. Master even stayed on his own, submitted to this bias, and he still gained no respect for it. Sir Integra should get on her knees and worship master like I did.

Anger gave me strength. Growling, I rolled to my knees. Rage tasted metallic in the back of my throat. Straining, I broke the strap holding my arms behind my back. In another second I broke the ankle strap and clambered to my feet, breathing hard.

I heard a sharp inhale from master, somewhere nearby. I leaned on the wall with one hand, bent over, sucking wind through my nostrils. The scent of him came strong, stronger than the decaying vegetation and moist earth. I heard the blood in his body, the sound of his heart as it shuddered to life. Not six beats this time. No, this time his heart continued to beat.

“Seras, what have you done?” he asked quietly.

“Nothing,” I snapped. “I’m sick of being weak. I’m sick of living under the thumbs of those who don’t even know what I am.” I stumbled, put my back to the cold, damp rock. “I’m done with playing nice. Why do I cling to humanity when humans feel I’m less than a trained guard dog?”

My voice echoed in the chamber, but it didn’t hold a candle to the disquieting echo of master’s consensual thoughts. He agreed. He felt the same as I did. Like one eye dilating because of stimulus to the other, he reflected all my anger and doubt and disgust.

“We can’t go down this road, Seras,” he said softly, “not at the moment. Give your anger time to burn. We’ll address this at Hellsing, where we’re protected and assured of being alone.” I heard him stir, and knew he’d made noise purely for my benefit. “Remember, Integra offered us sanctuary. To a Midian, there are few things as significant or appreciated.”

I slid down the rocky wall. Drawing my knees up, I tucked my head between them. I appreciated his words. I knew he spoke truth. The slowly setting sun outside this cave gave me hope, too. I had three constants in my life; Master, Walter, and the night.

I felt awful. As a child I’d come down with a bronchial infection, and the guardians at the orphanage had pumped me full of narcotics for weeks so that I might live. Afterward, I’d been addicted, and they’d left me in a room by myself to shake off the need for codeine. This felt like that. I sweated and shook, feeling the desperate need to empty my bowels.

But, my guts didn’t work anymore. I had nothing to void.

“I wish you could touch me, master,” I whispered. “You make everything all right.”

He sighed. The steady thump of his heart gained an irregular rhythm. “I would, Seras, if I could. Give it another hour.”

I couldn’t wait to be shed of this cursed land, and the denial of my basic need of him. Staying away from him felt unnatural, even painful. Our bond urged me to stay in contact with his body and mind. This isn’t right, I said to him. I’m supposed to be near you. I feel my blood reaching for you.

Yes, I know. Yet another reason I didn’t want to bring you to this place. As my progeny, you desire all the comfort I bring. There is no bond in heaven or hell stronger than the one between progenitor and progeny. Withholding our contact means torture.

For both of us? I couldn’t help asking.

Yes, you impudent female, he answered, his tone now amused. Would I continue to insist you share my coffin if I didn’t have need of you? This is what you chose, belonging to me, and I have to honor your choice.

It never occurred to me that master had a real obligation. More than a little embarrassed, I clamped my knees harder around my head. Well, I’m not sorry, I said. That’s what you get for shooting a big hole through my boob.

He chuckled out loud. Ah well; it isn’t a difficult penance, at least. And, your…’boob’ is fine now.

Indeed. I’d checked first thing and been delighted to have two whole boobs.

Although, I’ve never had such an unusual, high-maintenance fledgling before, he continued. He paused. I felt a current of his essence, his personal mind, and it reached for me. Nor have I had one for as long; the rest chose their independence quickly. They sensed my lack of interest in nurturing, perhaps.

I’d never felt that about him, but I didn’t point it out.

We were silent until the sun finished dying. Almost immediately, I felt the rest of my pain and stress vanishing. Alucard materialized from the back of the cave. He picked up the broken straps and clamped them to his left bicep. We won’t leave evidence, he said. Shall we depart, Seras?