The Fine Line

Niamh has company and is therefore sneaksmutting.

Very small note, because of that company of mine. Just a small apology for the craziness of this chapter. And Sable’s mind. And Lavi’s mentality. And for breaking the smut in the middle and going to other people :D

Disclaimer of Dum-dum-dum: I don’t own D.Gray-man. If I did…I think it would FAIL.

WARNING: YAOI. Man-on-boy. LEMON. SEX! Emotional upheaval! AND MORE GAYNESS!
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Thoughts and Feelings

Allen, though he hated to admit it, was perhaps more worried about Sable than he was about Lavi. Because of that he tried to walk at a human pace instead of running head on. He watched her eyes most of the way; the odd glowing green of them did not abate, and he had never seen them like that before.

“Sable-chan,” He said when she stopped a few doors from Lavi’s. “Is everything alright?”

Sable blinked a few times at the scene that was playing out before her. It was very disconcerting to see both Lavi from the point of the glass on his bedside lamp and the stretch of hallway in front of her. She couldn’t really focus on both at once. And the person he was with, whom she had only manage to see fleetingly, had pulled her attention back to the room she was only steps away from.

They were talking. And Lavi did not look concerned.

They kissed.

“Sable-chan.”

“Maybe…maybe I was wrong…” Her voice was small, very small, like that of a child. Her eyes stayed unfocused for a long moment as she watched them. Her right hand clenched tightly, but her feet did not move. “Maybe it isn’t a Noah.”

Allen frowned at her deeply. If it wasn’t a Noah, why did she look so impeccably worried?

“Che, aren’t you supposed to be able to see if it is?”

She shook her head. “I don’t know his name, so I can’t look directly at him unless he looks at the lamp.”

“Him?”

“I think so.”

Allen crossed his arms, thinking. If they just barged in and it was some other passenger, what would Lavi do? He would know that Sable was spying. That wouldn’t be good for the two of them. “Do you… think we should wait?”

Sable swallowed hard, trying to focus on the situation. Her mind did not want to watch, not a bit, because it hurt to, but she knew that she had to. She had to be sure nothing happened. Slowly, she nodded.
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He was completely lost in the moment. His wrists were bleeding and he knew it, but he didn’t care, the same that he didn’t care that at any moment the man he was kissing might reach into his chest and pull out his heart. It might have been easier if he did, really, because then he wouldn’t have to explain the marks when someone saw them.

As if reading his thoughts the older man pressed him farther into the mattress, lowering his head so that he could kiss his throat, gently place his teeth on either side of his larynx. At every opportunity Tyki reminded him that he was only alive because Tyki wanted him to be, though he did it in subtle ways. All he would have to do was close his jaw, crush that fragile bone, drown the young man in his own blood – but Lavi did not need reminding. He already knew. He knew a thousand ways that the Noah could kill him and secretly he wished for them all. But he knew no escape would come.

You can handle this, Lavi! His logic said softly, returning from the dark corner his fear had chased it into. You’re a Bookman apprentice! Stop being soft and fight.

A rather strong caress of his erection forced air to catch in his throat momentarily; he felt Tyki smile into his collar bone. Every time his skin was touched it was like stinging fire against him, burning him up and filling him with needs he only understood in theory. He knew what the physical reactions were to all sorts of touches; all of the ones that could cause intense arousal, wild pleasure, and world shattering pain – those nerves were usually the same on every human, according to his readings. But he had never used any of that knowledge because he had never had a reason, yet he still recognized it when it was used on him.

He bit down a protest when his pants went sliding to his ankles.

You can handle this!
No. Nonono. No.

Breathe, damn it!

No. Nonono. No.

“You look frightened, Lavi-san.” Tyki smiled, moving his hand away from his victim’s phallus in favor of taking hold of his shoulders and pressing him back, making his bonds slacken. “Are you worried that I might hurt you?”

If I say yes, he’ll hurt me I think. If I say no… “No,” He swallowed hard; Tyki was leaning over him, reaching for the ropes that held him. The older man laughed has he tightened the boy’s bonds, pulling until he made a small sound of pained protest. He smiled, stood to do the same to his ankles. “But what’s the re-tying—ow!” His limbs were almost to the point of being overextended and he honestly did not like it; they bit painfully into his flesh, and being held so exposed made his current state obvious to the man who held him in place, drawing a crimson blush to Lavi’s already flushed cheeks.

Tyki lifted an eyebrow at him as he laid his fingers on his abdomen, ran them down until Lavi gave a short intake of breath at the contact. “You should be, Lavi-san,” He touched with greater strength, encouraging him, “Because I can hurt you. I can hurt you in more ways than you can imagine.” He stroked yet harder, continuing until he saw the boy’s eyes start to lose focus. “Shall I show you?”

Lavi was getting closer to the edge of oblivion, regardless of the circumstances. Then the hand was gone. The fingers were gone. The contact was gone. Lavi stared at the older man, unable to speak. He was so sure that he was about to find release and then the thing that coaxed him was gone, just vanished, and he was left pulsing with need, unable to do anything about it. His arms tensed of their own accord, his feet twitched. He felt his hips lift momentarily as a soft whimper escaped his throat.

Tyki chuckled at him, his dark eyes smiling. His eyes could not help but take in the beauty of what he had wrought, the pale flesh, the red hair, the vibrancy of flesh rubbed raw, the fear and disappointment in his toy’s eyes. It was all so wonderful in contrast, every part of it perfectly put together, down to the wordless expression of discontent Lavi voiced. “Did you want me to finish?” He asked, lowering his hand back again, but not quite touching. Lavi’s hips rolled toward him and he lifted his hand away the same distance that he managed to lift himself. “I won’t know until you tell me.”

“Yes, yes.” Lavi breathed. He had never felt desire as keenly as he did in that moment, as if not giving into it would drive him mad. The ache in his shoulders and the horrible feeling that he might have pulled a muscle in his thigh were nothing compared to the lust that filled his mind. “Let me… make me…”

A finger ran slowly around the tip of his erection, eliciting a quiet moan. “Are you sure that is what you want, Lavi-san?” Tyki’s voice was low, husky; his breath was close to Lavi’s throat. The apprentice Bookman thought that he might have felt heat radiating from that dark skin. “If it is, I want to hear you beg for it. Beg me to release you. Plead with me.”

No, Lavi thought as his body gave an involuntary shudder. I won’t beg. I won’t beg. I won’t. The finger against him slid up and down slowly, keeping him hard but bring him no closer to release, a pair of warm lips kissed the side of his mouth like the touch of a feather. I won’t beg.

“Your will amazes me,” The one finger became two. His head tilted back into the pillows, his eye squeezed shut, his teeth biting at his lower lip to distract him. “It is useless though. I will outlast you.” Such a delicate mind and yet he is strong despite it, Tyki thought as he watched his captives expression change. But he has a breaking point that I can find. Even as he thought the words he saw the transformation taking place, the slow shattering of some part of Lavi’s mentality that kept him from giving up. It was evident in the eyebrows first, as the two came up and away from each other, his eye opened half way, dazed, and then his teeth let go of his lower lip, gently. There was a pain on his face that did not come from outside.

“Please, Tyki,” His breath was short, so he gasped lightly. “I beg you…please...”

“Oh, that’s not begging. You’re just saying the words.” He reached lower, touching from base to tip, swirling and going back again. Lavi thought he might scream in frustration.

“P-please,” He gasped when a third finger joined the progression. “Release me…I… I…” He quaked when the hand pulled away again. Tyki shook his head in disappointment. He would fight indeed, and fight well. There was only one more trick he had, and he prayed it would work. Slowly he turned his face away from the boy on the bed, dragged his whole hand down his length and pushed himself up as if to leave. “If you cannot ask properly I will give you nothing. You waste my time.”

Lavi lost it. “T-Tyki! Don’t go! Please, please don’t leave me like this!” His voice was only half-raised, pushed into an octave he never used. “Please! Release me! Let me go. I don’t care anymore; just undo my wrists for God’s sake.” He was lashing at the ropes, ripping his skin against them, the bed rocked a little with his motion. “I beg you, don’t!” Unseen by his captive, the Noah smiled. He pivoted around again so that he was facing Lavi; his right eyebrow held up slightly, his perfect face lifted in a smirk. His victim stopped moving the moment he met his gaze.

“As you wish, Lavi-san.”
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“Are you sure that you’re alright?” Allen asked Sable. Her face had gone from pale to blushing to nothing, her expression cold and completely indifferent. He wished that he knew what she was thinking, wished that he knew what was going on in that room not ten feet away so he could comfort her.

She smiled sadly; her eyes did not change when she did it. “I’m fine, don’t worry. But…I don’t think we should be here.”

Kanda sent her a glaring frown from across the hall that might have been out of annoyance, but his thoughts let her know that it was more out of frustration. Lavi was his best friend and currently his greatest worry – if she changed her mind about the man within the room being a Noah, he would be rather angry. He did not like false alarms. He did not like having to give up snuggling with his lover if it meant Lavi wasn’t actually in a life or death situation. “Che, why not?”

“Because, Kanda-chan,” She turned her face toward the sound of his voice but did not actually look at him. “What’s going on in there is his business and I don’t think he’d want you to hear it.”

Allen placed a hand on Kanda’s when he made to retort, spoke for both of them. “Then, if you think it is best for us to move farther away, will you be able to call us if you discover that it really is a Noah?”

“Yes,” She lied.

“We won’t go far then,” Allen tried to smile his bright, uplifting smile, but the attempt was wasted. “Please call us if anything changes.”

She nodded.

When Kanda and Allen were out on the deck, the Japanese Exorcist looked to his lover for an explanation. For a moment the younger boy just stood with the wind in his hair, a thoughtful expression on his face, but a slight nudge made him speak.

“Whatever is going on in there is Lavi’s secret,” He said finally. “Sable knows because she can see it, but we don’t know. We have no right to know unless he tells us.” He looked up at Kanda, his silver eyes somewhat lost looking. “Everyone has secrets, right?”

Kanda draped his arm around Allen and pulled him close, sighing. “I hope for his sake that you are right, Moyashi.”
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Sable sagged against the hallway wall with her head in her shaking hands, her distant eyes focused on what was happening to her friend. She hadn’t thought that she liked him. She had hated him only moments before, but liked his presence at the same time. And now he was there, in that room, with his limbs tied down, his head thrown back, and a Noah caressing the most intimate parts of his body with his lips and tongue. Her heart gave a little spasm in her chest as her hands came up to cover her still-seeing eyes.

“I’m a fool,” She said quietly. “A damned fool.”
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Tyki gave everything the redhead wanted, and maybe then some. He had taken the boy’s length in his mouth, licked and flicked and rubbed, used his hands as an extension of his mouth to give Lavi the best he could manage. When the explosion came he was ready for it and he took it into himself with no second thoughts about it, the warm liquid spilled only slightly and he managed to clean that up as well. When it happened his captive had thrown his head back, his voice giving a long, ragged moan that ended in a shuddering sigh. Tyki surveyed his handiwork afterward, a small smile on his lips.

Lavi panted, winded. His muscles felt like jelly and his mind felt like a void of pleasures and pains, with no set definition between them. He wanted to hate himself for begging and yet thank Tyki for making him do it, but he could find no words for either action. Thus he settled for closing his eyes, no longer fighting the ropes that held him. He did not look at Tyki.

“What’s the matter, Lavi-san?” Tyki asked as he began to untie the bonds that held him. “Has all the fight gone out of you?” When the right arm was free he lowered it to the boy’s side, did the same with the left. His touch was gentle; his voice soft, his warm hands tenderly pulled Lavi’s pants up for him, nothing about his actions seemed forced or harsh. It might have been like the touch of a true lover for all the apprentice Bookman knew. “Will you not even speak to me now?”

Softly Lavi sighed, pulled his wounded left wrist up to his eyes so he could look at it. Tyki watched him study his own skin, watched his piercing emerald eye go from dim to bright again as the gears in his head started to function again. The only light in the room came from the kerosene lamp, and its low orange glow reflected like red gold from his hair, cast his face in shades of bronze and gold. He might have been someone great artist’s sculpture in that light.

I feel… warm…

“Tyki,” Lavi’s voice was very soft, almost as if he were worried about being overheard. “I am not going to yell at you. I am not going to threaten you. I am not going to ask you to never do that again. But I have a simple request.”

The Noah picked his top hat from where he had left it on the stool, placed it gently on his disheveled hair, trying not to look too interested in what the boy said.

“Next time… if it’s not too much to ask, could you… use softer rope?”

There was silence. Tyki looked at the apprentice Bookman questioningly, amazement showing unfettered on his face. Had he not just pinned this kid down and forced him to orgasm against his will? Had he not just made him cry with his touch? Had he not just broken his will by making him beg for release? Had he not watched the hope fade from that bright eye like a slowly extinguishing candle? Had it all been nothing but a dream? A lie? Had he talked himself into believing it had happened?

See? You can handle it. Lavi thought with an inward smile. This is nothing. It’s just new. You liked that last part. I mean really, he could do worse things to you, if he knew how. You may not want him but you want some, so get what you want. Use him. Fight!

“I mean…I realize you’re a sadist and all that, but someone’s going to see these burns eventually. I’d rather not explain that to someone like Allen that I’ve been sexing it up with the enemy.”

Tyki had no words.

Lavi turned his face to him, a fiendish grin on his lips. “Don’t look so surprised, Ty-chan, you said I had no choice in this so I’m not expecting one. But you never said that I couldn’t enjoy myself, ne?”

The Noah wasn’t sure if he wanted to kick him or rape him. It was impossible to explain what the boy had done to his mind. He had given in, but he was acting as if he had won, as if he had liked it and that idea was like someone dropping an ice cube down Tyki’s mental pants. Shock reverberated through him as he thought about it. He cried for me. He begged me to release him. But now he looks at me like I am the one being seduced.

Suddenly, his own blood felt like fire within him.

“We’ll see if I can, Lavi-san.”
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“Whoa…” Sable’s hands fell from her eyes to her mouth as her gut gave a rolling protest. At the same moment Lavi’s emotions had gone from afraid and frustrated to clever and manipulative, the ship had gone up and down a rather unpleasant swell. She felt his satisfaction, his cunning, and there, in the very, very back of his mind, she found herself. In his mind she was complicated, simple, happy, cynical, odd, but she couldn’t see what any of that meant. She just was.

And then there was her nausea.

And then there was Tyki.

I don’t want to know, She thought, letting the image of the Noah walking out of the room fade from her eyes and Lavi’s thoughts disappear from her mind. Because I know that love isn’t the farthest thing from his mind anymore.

Why did I have to be what I am? I hate it. I don’t want to hate people but I don’t want to have feelings for anyone. And I’m so Goddamn tired of knowing what they think. I just…don’t want to know anymore. Does he like me, does he like him, and does he suppress his emotions because he has to or because he wants to. I don’t care. I don’t want to know. I just want to go on without anyone. Without feeling anything.

Her thoughts were so loud tumbling through her head that she didn’t hear the footsteps until they were directly in front of her, and even then it took her a moment to draw the dress shoes into focus. “Hey, Tyki.” She said without looking up. She hadn’t known until that moment that she had been crying.

“Good Afternoon, Sable-chan.” His voice was just as sultry as she remembered it. She couldn’t compare his new expression to the one she remembered from her childhood though, because she couldn’t draw his face into focus.

I hate you, rebound. She thought venomously. She should have known that watching with her Innocence for so long was a bad idea. “Anything specific you needed from me?”

Tyki narrowed his eyes at the girl. He could see Uri in her face, her hair, the way she glared at him, everything. It was creepier than twins; it was like a female reflection. “Not specifically.”

“Then leave me the hell alone, thank you very much.” She dropped her head again, no longer seeming to care that the Noah was even there. The feet in front of her shifted as the man knelt down and placed a hand on her shoulder, almost managing to comfort her. Almost.

“You saw, didn’t you?”

She gently nodded.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t touch me.”

“Please, I am sorry. About this, about Uri—”

“You bastard!” She hissed, knocking his hand away. “You’re not sorry. You’re not my friend. You’re my fucking enemy. Now stop trying to make me feel better about what you just did and start acting like you want me dead! You’re not Uncle Tyki anymore. You never were. You’re just a man who’s going to fall from grace because of a boy who doesn’t have a heart!” She pushed him away, throwing herself away from the wall as she realized what she was saying. She had found that last fact in the very back of his mind without even looking for it, without trying. It was just in her mind before she could stop herself from stealing it. Blindly she stumbled away until a pair of warm arms caught her and a hard chest came into contact with her shoulder.

She looked up slowly to see Lavi looking down at her. “Sable-chan?”

She felt dizzy. Like she hadn’t eaten. The wall sconces flickered when she tried to focus her eyes.

“La-Lavi…” She floundered for a moment, unsure what to say, unsure if he had heard her last words. She didn’t have to decide though, because her stomach decided for her. She retched violently, turning her head just so that the spew did not splatter directly in the middle of his black shirt, instead it doused most of his right arm, all of her left, both of their shoes and most of the floor. She groaned and wobbled a little, falling into him after a moment.

“Sa-Sable-chan! Are you alright?” He was holding her up and the hallway was spinning in her eyes, slowly growing dimmer. “Sable-chan!”

I’m fine, She thought, her fingers clenching in the fabric of his shirt. As long as you are.
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Owari, ne? I know… kind of an awkward ending there… kind of an awkward place for Sable to be really…

Looking back it seems kind of odd that she was totally against liking Lavi. And then she did it on her own. //sigh

Reviews are all I want for Christmas! And new headphones.
Love for you readers :D

And lastly, I’m sorry for the lack of Yullen! The next chapter SHOULD be Christmas day (for them) so you’ll get some… I promise XD