The Mello Code

The rain slowed down to a dull patter somewhere between Worcester and Gloucester. They drove through it at just under 100mph. Mello had worked his way through three chocolate bars in that time, while Matt had devoured two muffins and three packets of crisps. The music had been changed to Lullacry by mutual consent. Mello wanted rock and Matt didn\'t want to hear \'Exit Planet Dust\' while they were still on that motorway. Somewhere to the west, the Malverns loomed in the murky night, then gave way to the Forest of Dean and the distant Black Mountains. They could barely see the hard shoulder of the northbound carriageway, let alone what was beyond it. To their left, the plains of Evesham drifted into the Cotswolds. They missed those too.



After a long silence, Mello rasped out, "It takes a very specific kind of freak out for you to comfort eat. You\'re turning into me." He lifted the chocolate bar half an inch off the steering wheel in illustration. "Are you still hungry?"



"Not really." Matt screwed up the latest empty crisp packet and dropped it back into the carrier bag. "You doing alright now?"



"I\'m fine." Mello responded. He would have done whether he was or not, but the driving helped him. He had to concentrate and so he couldn\'t dissolve into the panic of what ifs. The only outward sign that Mello was flustered at all had been in the fact that he\'d totally missed turning onto the M42. Neither had mentioned it. He reached across and cupped Matt\'s thigh. The redhead looked at him and smiled. "Fucking good driving, Jeevas. I mean that."



Matt shrugged. "So you keep saying."



"Because it\'s true." Mello returned his hand to the steering wheel. "Kind of puts things into perspective when things like that happen, doesn\'t it?"



"A bit." Matt replied quietly. Then, because he sensed the mood, as dictated by Mello, could become even more morose than it already was, added, "I\'m just glad I was in a car with a Catholic. You get guardian angels and shit watching over you. They couldn\'t save you without saving me too."



Mello chuckled. "I think my guardian angel deserves promotion to archangel. It\'s very overworked." Beside him, Matt flashed a wane smile. "What upset you in Manchester?"



Matt reached for his cigarette tin and popped one between his lips before answering. "Usual shit. Time of the year." Mello didn\'t respond, so Matt felt compelled to elaborate. "There was a bloke and a kid, well, you know that there were shops over the road?" Matt glanced at his husband, so Mello dutifully nodded. "They\'d just come out of one of the shops and the kid was going mad for something. The bloke went in his bag and came out with something. I couldn\'t see what it was. It was too small. But the kid held it in both hands and looked so happy."



Mello filled the ensuing silence. "And there we were, standing in the rain because you were denied being able to smoke inside, being reminded of everything else that you\'d been denied." Mello took another bite of his chocolate. "I can\'t give you a childhood, Matty."



"You say that like it doesn\'t affect you too."



"It does." Mello inclined his head in a half-shrug. "It feels like there\'s a great gaping hole inside where something normal should have been, but isn\'t. But we can choose to be fucked up about it or we can accept it and get on with having an adulthood instead."



Matt sighed irritably. "Don\'t say it like I\'m the most immature shithead in the world." He opened his window just a touch, enough to let the smoke escape. Mello blinked and didn\'t reply. The miles shot past wordlessly. "Next junction, we\'ll have to cut through Cirencester."



"I know." Mello scowled. "Right, I know I missed the turning back there but, to be fair, it was pissing it down and I was still a bit shaken. Ok?"



"I know." Matt reached for another bar of chocolate and held it in the space between them. It was taken. "I wonder how many people died."



Mello unwrapped the chocolate with his teeth. "Two fewer than should have died." He bit into the new bar like it was the first chocolate he\'d had that evening. "I\'m not Near. I\'m not L. I shouldn\'t try to crowbar their methodology onto my life. I\'m better as a vigilante than a detective."



"Mell, that\'s not what I said!" The wind through the slither of open window took the entire burning nub of his cigarette, as Matt tried to flick his ash out of it. "That\'s the version that emerged out of that special Keehl filter, that takes information and turns it into a criticism."



"No." Mello shook his head. "You\'re misunderstanding what I\'m saying. I\'m just trying to say that my strengths lie in different places to both Near\'s and L\'s. Not that they are identical either. Were. Whatever. Either way, I shouldn\'t use them as a template. Not that I was using Near as one. He can go to Hell."



Matt breathed a half-laugh. They were on an A-road now and the change in pace made it feel like they were going very slow. Matt glanced at the speedometer. Mello was still taking them at 70mph, despite the speed limit being 50. "So what you\'re saying is that we\'re at the dawn of a bright new age, where we get to write the rules as well as take the cases? Pwnage. What\'s the Mello Code going to look like then?"



Mello smiled. "Well, I\'m sick of this piddling around trying to work out if something is even a case or not. From now on, you can do that."



"What?!"



"You\'re the one who said you\'re my Watari."



"Right." Matt considered it and arrived at the conclusion that this gave him ultimate power over which parts of the world Mello dragged him into. "Fair enough. I\'ll do that for you."



"I was joking."



"Unlucky. I\'ve already accepted it, so it\'s fact."



Mello glanced at him. Then he reached out and touched him again. A second later, Mello was pulling into a lay-by and undoing his seatbelt. Matt looked at him warily. Mello grinned. "Just a kiss." He reached across and embraced his husband, pressing his lips hard against him. He drew away quite quickly. "That\'s a fraction of what I really want to do to you right now, but it\'ll have to do. The Man United match. That driving. Sometimes I\'m just really glad..." He didn\'t finish the sentence, just took another kiss that he hoped communicated it anyway. Then he sat back and refastened his seatbelt. "Ok, no. I\'m really glad you came with me. I count myself really lucky to have you by my side, watching my back."



"S\'ok."



"You do know, don\'t you, Matty?"



"What?"



Mello bit his lip and stared out of the windowscreen. "It\'s really hard to tell you things sometimes. Why can\'t you just know?" He gripped the steering wheel. "And is it me, or is journey taking forever? It hasn\'t been an hour and half since we were pulling into the services. We were in there for nearly half an hour." He growled in exasperation. "I wish we had a teleport that just took us and the car back home. Invent one, Matt. That\'s your homework."



"\'kay. Let me just source some law runes." Matt pointed vaguely at the road ahead. "Would you like me to drive now?"



"So your version of a teleport is to drive?"



"Granted it\'s not instant, but it would involve you sitting in one spot and then your surroundings changing around you," Matt grinned at his husband, "as if by magic."



Mello started the engine. "I love you, Matt."



"Volim te."



"Oh God." Mello shook his head. Clumps of hair were stuck to his cheeks. He pushed them away from his face and it felt like straw. "Ok, I\'m taking us home. I\'m sorry I\'m being so random right now."



"It\'s ok." Matt sniffed. "You\'re blond."



Mello punched him sidewards on the chest. Matt responded with a sharp gasp, then punched him in the leg. Mello chuckled and drove them out of the lay-by. "I don\'t know why you hit me back. You like it when I hurt you."



"That wasn\'t sex, it was revenge."



Mello straightened a little. "Oh! Information about your sexual desires! You must be still in shock." He grinned as they stopped at traffic lights. "It adds a little midgeon more to the bit that I already knew. I knew that it isn\'t all pain that turns you on, but now I also know that the determining factor isn\'t whether or not I am the one delivering pain." He glanced at his husband, but Matt was just watching the road and chewing on his glove. "Oh, come on, humour me. I need to talk about something other than the fact that we just nearly got totalled. I don\'t want to to think about dead bodies in cars. I want to think about you, naked."



Matt smirked. "Orly?"



"Right, we\'re going to play it like this." The lights changed and Mello put his foot down to try and miss the changing of the lights further down the road. They made it. Mello grinned in triumph. "I know that you hate talking about sex, but I don\'t, so I\'m going to talk about it and you\'re just going to say yes or no. Alright?"



Matt replied, cautiously, "Yes."



"Ok!" Mello licked his chocolate with undisguised glee. "You never got off or even fantasised about violent sex before I was in the Mafia."



"No. Erm, yes, I did." Matt frowned. "You\'ve got to ask them in a way that I can easily say \'yes\' or \'no\'. Actually I\'m extending the game. You ask a \'yes\'/\'no\' question and I answer it, then I get to ask you one."



Mello narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "About sex?"



"No, about your detective code."



"Then it\'s a game of truth. Not a game about how sexually perverted Mail Jeevas is."



Matt smiled at the window. "It\'s that game, plus a game about how paranoid and neurotic Mihael Keehl is." He considered it. "The two are often inter-related anyway."



"When you fantasised about it, before you knew I was Mafia..."



"Objection!" Matt pointed, his finger brushing Mello\'s nose. It was batted irritably away. "It\'s my turn for a question. Mine is, are we really going straight to Winchester nick to interview Singh Jr?"



Mello wrinkled up his nose. "It would fuck up my investigation if we didn\'t, though I really don\'t want to. How about I drop you off home first, then go and do it by myself?"



Matt exhaled slowly. "See how we feel when we get down there. That wasn\'t yes or no, by the way."



"I couldn\'t really communicate all of that in just yes or no, could I?" Mello rolled his eyes. "My question! When you fantasised about violent sex, before you knew I was in the Mafia, did it involve being slapped across the face?"



"No. When you imagine a fully fledged Mello Code, does it look precisely like the L Code under a different name?"



"Not precisely..."



"Yes or no!"



Mello sighed. "Yes."



Matt grinned. "Square peg, round hole. I\'m finally seeing the root of the problem here."



"Your adolescent fantasises, did they involve being held down and/or otherwise restrained?"



"Yes. If, for whatever reason, you couldn\'t have a Mello Code now, would you feel like a failure?"



Mello sucked in his chocolate and hesitated before responding, "Yes, I would. Don\'t you dare make a quip about Stolkholm Syndrome. It\'s my decision. Adolescent fantasisies, were you being beaten with a belt?"



"Yes. Incidentally, I have matured a lot sexually since I was 13-18, which is when I\'m basing these answers on. I might have different views on certain things now."



Mello smirked. "I\'m aware, but it\'s a long journey and I will get there too." His eyes widened suddenly. "Why thirteen?"



"My question. Are you hiring staff because Near has the former members of the SPK working for him?"



"N..." Mello started, then stopped, staring pensively out of the window. "No, I\'ll stick by that. I\'m hiring staff because I know how useful they are. I\'ve rarely worked alone. I\'m brilliant at strategy, but you can plan for bigger and better if you have a team behind you. So, no. What happened to you at thirteen to make that a good starting point for answering my questions?"



"Puberty. That wasn\'t a question I could answer yes or no to. Would you still feel like a failure if...?"



Mello held up a hand. "No. It\'s not your turn. That was a stupid answer. Thirteen is pretty arbitrary for when you hit puberty. Your voice hadn\'t even broken when I left Wammy\'s and you were fourteen then. You definitely weren\'t shaving."



"You don\'t shave now. That\'s no indication."



Mello gave him an incredulous look. "I do!"



"When?"



"I\'m just not the most histute man in the world."



"Because you wax most of it off again."



"I..." Mello shook back his damp hair. "I\'m not having this conversation with you. You\'re talking shit and you know it. Did something other than puberty happen when you were thirteen, which then help form sexual fantasisies?"



"How is it your question again?"



Mello reached out and grappled at the top of Matt\'s jacket seeking the metal collar underneath. He located it at the back of his husband\'s neck and pulled it up to beneath his chin. "Answer the question."



"That\'s cheating. No, nothing happened when I was thirteen.



"Fourteen then."



"My question." Matt replied pointedly. "Would you still feel like a failure if the Mello Code evolved to be different to anything that\'s gone before?"



Mello released him in order to have both hands on the wheel, as another car pulled out too close in front of them. "No. In fact, that\'s probably what\'s going to have to happen."



"When did you reach that conclusion?"



"What happened when you were fourteen, other than puberty, that then formed part of your sexual fantasisies?" Mello waited, but Matt was silent. "Why aren\'t you answering? It was my turn."



"That wasn\'t a yes or no question."



Mello nodded. "Ok, I\'ll null and void it. I\'m fairly sure I know anyway and so I\'m just wasting questions trying to prise it out of you. It was a certain incident when you stole my notes and I reacted aggressively to get them back. My question then, if I was never to hurt you again but I was to tie you down every single time we had sex, would you like it?"



Matt squirmed, "Half no and half yes. There\'s two elements to that question."



"That\'s ok. You answered them both, so I managed two questions in one." Mello grinned triumphantly and wrapped the grin over his chocolate.



"What do you mean two? You got about ten in that one! Is it finally my turn to ask something?" Matt tapped his thigh in time to the music. "Would you deem it a failure if you only took cases from Watari?"



"Fucking would, yes."



"Despite the fact that L took his cases from there?"



Mello tutted. "That\'s the most ridiculous thing you ever said and it\'s a second question, so I\'m ignoring it on two levels. If you were forced at gunpoint to name your favourite ever instance of us having sex, as in it was so hot that you\'re still reverberating from it now, could you?"



Matt frowned, then laughed. "Still reverberating now? Wow! You think a lot of yourself." He chewed his glove, while he contemplated it. "Yes. Yes, I think I could."



The car screeched to a halt beside a bus-stop and Mello pulled his Beretta from the door pocket. It was held at Matt\'s head. "Now you\'re being forced at gunpoint, tell me."



Matt\'s gaze slid sidewards to fix upon Mello. His lips were pressed together in a straight line, while Mello just stared manically and grinned. Matt blinked slowly. He spoke lazily. "If anyone sees us, you\'ll be arrested." He didn\'t react as Mello cocked the trigger. "We\'re right next to a streetlight and that\'s an offensive weapon."



"So you lied about being able to say. Or are you just getting off on the danger?"



Matt smirked. "For a start, it\'s not danger. You won\'t shoot me. Secondly, you\'re confusing being able with being willing."



Mello unclicked his own seatbelt and reached across with his right hand to fondle Matt\'s groin through the denim. "Is anyone watching us, Matty?"



Matt nodded past him. "You mean other than that policeman approaching your window?"



Mello raised his eyebrows. "You\'re lying."



"Certain about that?"



"Yes, I can see the reflection of that window in your goggles. Spill, Matt!"



Matt started to blush, his sex responding to Mello\'s touch and the situation. "Ok! Ok! You mean, like, the ultimate ever?" He tried to push Mello\'s hand off him, but the blond whacked Matt\'s hand away and continued his administrations. "Because there have been loads. In fact, I keep changing my mind as I think of more."



"I\'ll have the first instinct one and not the ones you\'re editing into what you think I want to hear."



"Right. That time when we were first back after I was taken. On the landing. When you owned me. Actually it was pretty good the other day, except for you breaking my goggles, but they got fixed. Mello, this is getting really fucking uncomfortable."



Mello snickered. "It\'s doing it for you though, isn\'t it? The danger, the being trapped by your seatbelt. You\'re going to come in your jeans at this rate, aren\'t you?"



"No, I\'m exercising great self-control."



"I\'m going make you come in your jeans and there\'s nothing you can do about it, because I own you, body and soul, Mail Jeevas." Mello leaned in until he was breathing inches from Matt\'s face. "\'I am a world\'s forgotten boy, the one who\'s searching to destroy.\'"

"Ok! I\'ll let you put Iggy Pop back on if you stop groping me!"



"\'Honey, gotta help me please, somebody gotta save my soul. Baby, detonate for me.\'" Mello sang now in a rasping whisper. Matt\'s hands rose to cover his face, as a deep moan sounded in the back of his throat. The arrival of the bus took them both by surprise. "Shit!" Mello dropped the gun into the handbrake well, as the lower floor of bored commuters stared at them as the nearest source of entertainment.



"Not paying attention to your environment, Mello. Epic fail."



"I haven\'t finished!" Mello sat back and drove the car half onto the pavement to take them out of there. Matt got the giggles and Mello bit his lip hard, as he tried worked out how he should be reacting. He ended with chuckles too. "I haven\'t finished with you, Matty."



"Good!" Matt burst out. "Because you really can\'t leave it like this! Honestly. You can\'t." As Mello\'s grin grew broader, Matt added. "Please."



"We\'ve never tried denial of orgasm, have we?"



"Mello!"



"Being taken over, possessed, claimed, owned, whatever, that comes above being hurt, yes?" They were out of sight of the bus now. Mello was feeling a little peeved with himself for being embarrassed in the first place. He debated doing a U-turn just to drive past and wave at them. "The real kick is someone making it quite clear that all of their attention is on Mail Jeevas and they\'re taking him. Claiming him. Wanting him."



"Yes!" Matt moaned, drawing his knees up to his chin. "And the danger. Huh? No! I like the hurt too. You\'re fucking confusing me. It\'s all in the mix. Now pull over and finish what you started."



"No. I\'m taking us home. I have a suspect to interview." Mello\'s grin was serpentine. "Well, that was fun." He sniggered as he drove them out of Cirencester onto the dual carriageway home. "Epic win."