Survive

Part III
Under Twin Suns


Darkness…All Knives could see was a pitch black that surrounded every sense and all sides of him. He searched franticly for anything… groping at nothing in the void of black. Until a speck of white appeared on the horizon. He walked towards it, slowly gaining speed as he neared the object. The form of a man came in sight, which made Knives run towards it.

Three feet in front of the man, he gasped…stopped for a moment…then felt foolish.

There stood himself. A mirror, he thought bitterly. He gazed at his reflection. Nude, clean, and alone. He stared at the figure in the glass and realized it was only him he could see…where was the frame? He drew closer…as did his reflection. A hesitant hand went to touch the chill of glass and felt warm flesh instead.

The reflection grinned…and forced Knives to the floor.

Screams and cries filled the ebon void as he fought the refection, kicking and thrashing away. Still, it grinned, and bent down inches away from his angry contorted face.

“…whore…” the creature whispered as Knives flailing body suddenly stilled. “You’re nothing but a whore, Knives…worse…you were “his” whore….”

Knives eyes lit up with anger. “I HAD NO CHOICE!!!! I DID IT TO PROTECT VASH, YOU BASTARD!!!”

“But you liked it….” The madness drained and was replaced with short fast breaths, and eyes that glistened with premature tears. “It felt good when he forced your hand on yourself…didn’t it…?”

“…stop it, please....”

The creature grinned wider and leaned closer to him, lips nearly touching Knives\' trembling ones. “ Or all the times he went down on you during those three months you…. “protected” your brother….” Silence now…the tears over flowing from vacant, fear-struck eyes…

“…. His lips around you, so hard it nearly hurt…yes…. You remember how good that felt, don’t you?” He kissed Knives so lightly. “A whore which lusts after his own brother…such a sick bastard you are…”

“STOP IT!!!!!!!!!” Knives screamed. Shock filled his body and his scream was suppressed by a hot tongue that violently ravished his mouth. Knives jerked his head away, and his counterpart sniggered.

“How far would you go to get his affection, Knives?” He stared blankly into nothing as the reflection continued. “Would you care if you had his affection at all, as long as you got to rip away his innocence…? Such a slut…In the end, you know you’ll become just like him, Knives….” The illusion released him…stood up, walked away laughing bitterly through the shades of thick unending black….

“Just….like…him…”

There he sat alone…
Always alone…
No one ever came to save him…
No one wanted to…
Nothing but whore…
Always the whore….

Knives woke up…sweat streaking his face in the moonlight and breath fast and hard. He turned his head to see his brother’s sleeping bag replaced with nothing. Frightened, he desperately searched the area until finally looking up upon the cliff close by, seeing Vash’s silhouette on the moon…merely sitting huddled... Knees to his chin, embracing his legs. Satisfied, Knives’ sighed and lied back down.

Still sulking over Rem, he thought as he curled up inside the warmth of his sleeping bag. It wasn’t his fault for her unnecessary sacrifice. A meaningless death, was his notion as a thin sinister smile crept over his features. Her sacrifice will be trivial as soon as he finds the crashed ship he craved for. He looked longingly at Vash’s shadow-like appearance on the moon. And in time, you will help me dear brother. You will help me destroy them all…

*****

A few years had passed for the twins. And the time had already brought them to there prime, and froze still, letting them watch everything pass... At the age of 14 in the body of one who was well over twenty…children still…but in forms that told other wise.

In those fourteen years after the crash, the dream of black had yet to leave the sleep of Knives Millions…some times he would be confronted with himself…other times by Vash…It always seemed to change, and it was beginning to wear into him…

In all of them they called him weak…they called him a harlot…a whore…In the beginning, he ignored them, making nothing of them, throwing the dreams from his mind. But as time drew on, he became a little more corroded …a little more submissive…he began to wonder about himself…

Why are all the things falling apart…? The question he asked himself frequently. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. If only she’d survived, Vash would let him… He stopped then. Would let him what? He looked into nothing over the expansive desert under two suns, which burned and tore at their scorched bodies. They had been walking for what had seemed like an eternity…always walking among the endless horizon… a never-ending landscape of dust and rock… At least Vash followed him.

Vash….

He looked back at his brother who hung his head and always walked ten yards behind…always tripping over a rock or his own feet every few hundred yards. He blushed and looked forward. What did he want…? Lustful thoughts entered his mind but then the voice…. The one, which haunts his sleep in the darkness, stopped them.

“ What would he want with such a tainted slut, like you…?”

Knives looked down now, as he walked…knowing what he would never have…

*****

He shifted uneasily in his open bag. Insomnia keeping him awake with his thoughts. What was he thinking? He looked at Vash’s sleeping figure next to him. He wanted to touch him, but dared not. It was a small miracle that Vash followed him for this long. He his very presence was too much of a risk. A small sigh from trembling lips. Vash…

If you only understood…

Slowly, He drifted into an uneven, dreamless sleep, much to his pleasure. But he never anticipated what was to come…


Knives awoke to warm breath upon his neck and fumbling of hands exploring his body. No comprehension of what was transpiring as those wandering hands continued to explore is torso.

“Vash…. what are you doing…?” He moaned. He turned and was shocked.

The platinum blonde was rewarded with his first kiss.

Heat filled his cheeks. Warm, soft lips engulfed his own while his mind swam with a million thoughts and questions. Never had Steve kissed him in all of the times he was hurt…never had he felt so wonderfully full…. So very complete…He concentrated on the warmth and the firm silk of his lover’s mouth and gasped as a tongue licked his lower lip in anticipation of access…

Tongues entwined, arms tangled within one another…was anything real? Something hard against his thigh made him stiffen and remember…visions of blood...visions of pain …It wouldn’t be the same…he wouldn’t hurt him, he assured himself. No…not Vash.

So he bit his lip and shrugged all fears away and a lightly hesitant hand gently found it’s way between Vash’s thighs as a deep moan escaped quivering lips. Soon, after gentle strokes to under-stimulated flesh, he bucked into his hand… Ecstasy filled glacier blue eyes as he watched his brother move…this is what he wanted from the golden blonde and so much more…

“…don’t stop…”The whispers making Knives smile delicately… and increase the sweet friction Vash desired.

“Don’t ever stop, Rem…”

Knives eyes opened in shock as he violently sat up, pushing away from his brother’s limp form in total and utter confusion…

Rem? Tears began to fall down a mortified face.

“I love you Rem…” whispered Vash; his body twisting in the sheets with need… “Rem…”

Knives stood up shakily…angry tears showing frustration and devastation…everything was dead inside now…used again…used…Vulnerable and weak…. just like always…

And in total desperation, Knives fled.

Mind cracking into pieces as a broken man ran through the dry earth. Tears falling, his mind registered nothing… Only a tool to feed a fantasy…A tool…

Soon, out of breath, he fell to his knees. Fists pounding into dust, until his knuckles throbbed with pain. All of his dreams and delusions coming into reality as he sat on his knees furious and frustrated. He was never going to get what he wanted…ever…

Angry hands worked his suit loose…Buckles loosened…buttons freed… zippers down…After all had been accomplished, he peeled it off and roughly, he grabbed himself and rubbed aching tender half-erect flesh. He was lying to himself…he was never to have Vash the way he so longed for…Rabidly he jerked, already, fluid dripping slowly onto barren earth. “Why…? Why do I love you, Vash!?!” He cried out in the desperation of a mad man. Everything was wrong…He lied on his side in hysterics, hand still moving on himself faster…the other digging into the ground as he felt himself become closer…. Never fair…. Nothing was ever fair…

A short scream into his orgasm…a sound as empty as his eyes… Vision blurred, cum on his hands and thighs…what did anything matter…?

He was a whore… always the whore…

Slowly, he sobbed, as he tried to remove the semen from himself. Such a whore. After a few vain attempts, he curled into fetal position and continued to cry until an unearthly slumber carried him from his fear… Naked, vulnerable, and mentally and physically exhausted…. Knives slept…

*****
He awoke the next morning disoriented. The sunrise making Knives\' cold, nude body refined in purples and pinks as he sat up. Slowly, he dressed awkwardly, looking at the cliff where he had made camp on the horizon. He had run a long distance last night …he sighed and walked toward the camp. Every now and again sobs would come, which he forced to the back of his mind.

Every action began to fill his conciseness with fear. He could still taste the sweetness of his lips…Feel the loving caress of his hands on his body…what would he do if he wanted it again…? Arms wrapping around the body of one who feared himself.

No…. He would never do that…he said in his mind over and over. Nothing would make him do that to him…Never.

He finally entered the camp, the first sun already up, the second, rising. He sighed and walked toward the sleeping form of his brother. Memories flooding his mind…silken lips…warmth from another’s body…the smell of something beautiful filling his lungs… and the way he rocked in need…how he longed for it…oh how he needed it- No…. He forced out of his mind trying to forget everything…he wouldn’t do it…he wouldn’t…

…Vash…. Why do I need you …?

*****

The next few days of Knives Millions was spent in disarray… Longing thoughts… distracted thoughts which, always drifted to one man…Vash. He found the introspection of his mind drift to the warmth he had experienced … He would violently shake his head, denying anything to do with those feelings. But still…his smell…his taste…something hard for the milky blonde to forget so easily. He sighed to himself, hearing Vash nearly fall again. Why had such a boy make him hurt like this…?

He wanted to touch him…feel his body shaking with need under hands starving for affection…taste the sweet essence from his skin as he explored every inch of the man…Body quivering with need, he would show Vash, the only one that ever really mattered to him, how it felt when ecstasy makes you forget everything, leaving you open and vulnerable to the other’s whims and desires…so much and more would he show him…so much…

He clutched his head with a shaking hand for a moment, desperately trying to free his mind from such perverse thoughts and desires… He turned his head and looked back at Vash, the voice persisting its never-ending question, the very interrogation he received in all of his dreams and nightmares…

How far would you go, Knives? What would you do to gain his affections?

Then he would breathe quick and fight back tears…telling himself things he began to believe to be lies…No…not Vash…I would never hurt him…not like that…. no…

But all thoughts of desire were pulled to a halt by a low scream in the pit of his mind. He continued walking trying to ignore the sound, which became menacingly louder with each step, his head beginning to throb with dull pain as the terrible sound began to heighten. And suddenly, they became shrieks, echoing against the walls of his mind. Excruciating pain filling him now, causing shaking hands to drift upward to its origin. He opened his eyes now clouded with pain through the intensity of the screams. Trickles of blood dripping from his ears as the stood, knees buckling under a sudden massive weight, which could support him no longer.

Clutching his head tightly, he fell to his knees. Eyes transfixed upon the ground he couldn’t see through the pain in his head, as the screaming became a high pitch sound, causing colors of white and grays to fill his vision.

“STOP IT!! PLEASE STOP IT!” protests that meant nothing as the sound continued, ripping apart every once of sanity left within the shell of a man cowering in pain.

Vash ran towards his brother, fear racing through out his being. He knelt, yelling things that he couldn’t hear. He grabbed his collar and shook him, demanding to know what was wrong.

A sudden clinched fist whizzed through the air, contacting with the jaw of Vash, knocking him several feet backward, stunned. Crimson lazily dripped from his lip as he sat, watching his brother’s nails dig within his scalp trying to stop the pain he couldn’t comprehend…

Until a hollow feeling entered his chest and filled through out his being, and he understood all to well what was happening to his brother...

Nearly, two hundred iles away, the sounds of explosions and fire rang out, giving into the lands’ barren silence. A plant had died…and had taken the rest of the sector it had been held in a fiery inferno. It wasn’t an ordinary blaze…but a strange fire of oozing flames, pouring a violent blue from the fractured glass orb in the once quiet town of September. Only the plant workers and the few with residence was around the building didn’t escape the piercing azure heat…

Perhaps she was too drained…. Or maybe too old…all that was known was the creature, which was trapped behind glass for much too long became tired. And with one powerful blast from it’s crystalline prison, it had been set free… free on the wings of a dazing death that ended many more that just one life. Such aggression for the promise of freedom…. The only real freedom we ever have…the freedom to die…

*****

Knives awoke to the moons in the sky, and Vash, asleep, head upon his lap. All of the pain had left him so empty, and all of the life felt as if it was drained from him. Sighing, he absentmindedly stroked his brother’s golden locks as he breathed deeply. Fingertips traced a bruise on his fair skin, and he let out a small breath. He had hit his brother…he had hit him hard…he wanted to make up for it. He bent, kissing his brother’s brow, making him stir within his sleep. Shame suddenly bit at his chest and lust entered his frail body with a dark line of fear upon it… He wouldn’t hurt him like that. No…

Moans in his sleep interrupted his train of thought. His brother moaned in a dream, as he clutched the dirt around him. An unpleasant dream, he thought, feeling Vash’s heart rate increase against his chest. No…I will save you from pain, just as I always have… He rocked his shoulders trying to delicately wake his brother. Soon, teal green eyes drifted open, gazing into glacier ones. There, the stilled, staring for a moment until, hesitating arms gently wrapped them selves around Knives, and a quivering man that still had the mind of a child began to sob. So familiar, Knives thought, listening to Vash’s muffled cries. He sighed, tension in his chest becoming unbearable. He shut his eyes, and slid a hand under Vash\'s trembling jaw, forcing him into the depths of blue. Again, caught in a stare, Knives through all abandon away and slowly moved closer to his brother’s lightly confused face.

No turning back now…He gently pushed hungrily lips to those tense with shock and astonishment…

Forgive me Vash… I love you so much…he whispered to himself in his mind over and over again. He gently felt lips break apart and tightly shut his eyes.

This was it…
This was to be the truth…

End of part III

Author’s notes: HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!! LOUD MOCKING LAUGHTER!!!! YOU HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL NEXT EPISODE BEFORE THEY FUCK!!!! HA HA HA HA HA!!!! ….*cough*… in the next exciting episode, Knives and Vash have sex. Until next time! HA HAHHAHAHA! Oh, yes…. May take awhile for the next installments…I have night school and now have less of a life than I had. I’ll try to hurry and make it for all of you little sex addicts which read my rubbish to see two guys have sex. So, worry not!!!

Part IV
Undying Crimson

Love is often a misunderstanding…
And may get hurt in the haze,
Of a lust in a bittersweet disguise.
Often ponder if lust is the pain behind,
A warm thing called love.