Hearts of Darkness, Hearts of Light

Title: Hearts of Darkness, Hearts of Light

Author: FioraSilverWing

Rating: NC-17

Warnings: For this chapter, mentions or rape, angst

Author's Notes: Apparently, no one likes this story. I do however, so I'll be posting the entire thing and just get it over with. I'm really disappointed that people can't even post three simple reviews. I know it can seem like a waste of time, but the authors on this site really need the encouragement and feedback
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Email: draconicgeisha@hotmail.com



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Chesta walked quietly through the passages of the Vione, wearing a cheerful smile as he carried his things back to his room. He'd returned early from the soldiers' allotted time off. He didn't have any family to visit, and though he liked his fellow Dragonslayers well enough, he felt like he was imposing when he stayed with them. Not to mention the fact that he'd had to watch Gatti and Dalet hang all over each other.

They were a cute couple... But it only helped to add to Chesta's loneliness. Now that he was back... Perhaps he'd get a little time with Lord Dilandau. A sigh answered the thought. The silver haired man was difficult to deal with at times, but he had their best interests at heart. He wanted them to do well in battle and return in one piece.

All of the Dragonslayers had strong feelings for their Lord. He'd chosen them after all. Given them Guymelefs. Taught them to fight. He was their patron. But Chesta... As much as he might try to deny it and as foolish as it might be, Chesta loved Dilandau. And any time he got with his Lord was time he cherished. With none of the other Dragonslayers back yet, Dilandau might even send for him.

The thought was answered with a slight shiver. No one in their right mind would seek out Dilandau without being called for... But he wanted to see his Lord... He needed an excuse then. Pondering as he tucked his clothing away, Chesta finally smiled. What excuse better then one he could actually justify? Upon returning, he should report to his commanding officer. Dilandau was the only man the Dragonslayers answered to. They were strictly under his control. Therefore, he could go find his Lord and not have to worry about punishment.

Finishing with his things, Chesta turned and left his room, heading for Dilandau's own chambers, the most likely place he'd find the other man. Even if he did get slapped, it would be worth it to see his Lord again. He could never tell Dilandau such a thing, but he'd missed the silver haired youth and his powerful persona.

It didn't take long for the blonde youth to reach the door to his commander's room. Knocking lightly, he waited, hands clasped behind his back. Receiving no answer, he pressed the button to open the door tentatively, peeking in. The room was still dark, the lights off. Although it wasn't completely uncommon for Dilandau to brood in the dark.

"Lord Dilandau?" Chesta stepped into the room, looking around, letting his eyes adjust to the dim light. Perhaps he really wasn't in his rooms... Glancing around, Chesta was just about to leave when a huddled form in the corner caught his eye. With a confused frown, he made his way closer. His eyes snapped wide when he realized that the figure was actually Dilandau.

Kneeling next to the prone form, Chesta reached out to lay a hand on Dilandau's shoulder, giving him a gentle shake. "Lord Dilandau? Are you alright?" Chesta chewed at his lower lip. It wasn't like Dilandau to be found in such a state. And there was something on his leg...

"Blood! Lord Dilandau. Lord Dilandau! Wake up..." Crimson eyes slowly blinked open, bloodshot from crying, looking up at the form next to him. It took him a moment to get his bearings. Why was he on the floor? He... hurt. Last night... Folken. He and Folken... had...

Tears again formed in the young Lord's eyes, trickling down his cheeks, following the same paths his tears had taken the night before. Lifting a hand, he wiped at the wetness, trying to hold back a sniffle.

"Lord Dilandau..." The soft voice next to him called him back to the present. Dilandau looked over into concerned blue eyes. Chesta... Chesta had come to him. He simply stared at the Dragonslayer for a moment before he all but launched himself at him, burying his face against his shoulder.

"Chesta... Chesta, I'm so sorry..."

This wasn't happening... This couldn't possibly be happening. Dilandau didn't cry. And Dilandau certainly didn't apologize. He did what he wanted without regret. Curling his arms around the shuddering form, Chesta looked down at his Lord, a deep frown creasing his face. Something terrible must have happened while everyone was away. But Dilandau didn't have any family... Few friends. And then there was the blood... Someone must have hurt him then. The blonde's eyes narrowed. He'd personally kill whoever had done such damage if he had to.

"Please Lord Dilandau... Don't cry. It's all right. Don't be sorry. You've done nothing wrong." Attempting to offer his commander some comfort, he rocked the sobbing form, lifting a hand to stroke over the silver hair. Soft... Dilandau's hair was soft, even rumpled as it was. The realization brought a small smile to Chesta's lips.

Nothing wrong...how he longed to believe such words. Chesta truly was sweet. Trying to comfort him, not even knowing why his normally strong, impassive Lord was breaking down in his arms. The only emotions Dilandau ever showed were anger and joy when things went his way in battle.

The young Lord tried to get control of himself. This was no way to behave. But he couldn't pull himself away from the gentility offered to him. The soothing presence. It was something he desperately needed but had never before realized it. Composing himself enough to at least speak, he took a deep breath, not lifting his head.

"No Chesta, you're wrong... I should be sorry... How can you even look at me? I've used you... All of you. I never asked. I took... You've even begged for it to be over..." Dilandau stifled another sob, tightening his grip on Chesta's arms, finally looking up, face tear streaked and distraught. "Is-is there any way you could forgive me? I'll never touch you again, I swear..."

"No!" Chesta blinked once at the sudden look of horror on Dilandau's face, hurrying to explain. "No, Lord Dilandau. You don't need my forgiveness. You've done nothing that I haven't enjoyed... If you hadn't taken me in the first place, I never would have known that... That's what I wanted." A light blush colored the Dragonslayer's cheeks, but he continued speaking, lifting a hand to brush away the tears still running down Dilandau's face. "When I beg it's because I want more. Because you drive me mad with need... You've driven me to climax countless times... I- I came back early, hoping that you might call for me... I want you to touch me."

"Chesta... But..." Dilandau's words were cut off as Chesta leaned in to press his lips to those of his Lord, hoping the bold move wouldn't ruin his confession or result in a handprint across his face. The lips were soft and welcoming, just like all of Chesta seemed to be, and Dilandau lost himself to the tenderness.

There was no battle. No striving for dominance, no need to claim. Dilandau didn't take the kiss. He shared it. Pulling back after a moment, the silver haired beauty slowly opened his eyes, not even having been aware that he'd closed them. There was a shy smile on Chesta's lips, and Dilandau lifted a hand to run a finger over them, following their curve, as if he couldn't figure out how a simple kiss could convey such emotion.

Dropping his hand, Dilandau looked into the blue eyes, his voice nothing more than a whisper when he spoke. "Thank you, Chesta."

Chesta's smile widened, then faltered slightly. "You're more than welcome Lord Dilandau. I only want to do what I can for you. But... what brought all of this about? Something must have happened..." He finished tentatively. Perhaps Dilandau wouldn't even answer, or calmly inform him that it was none of his business. But at least he'd asked.

Dilandau looked down, biting his lower lip. How could he tell Chesta the truth? Oh, I was out for an evening stroll and guess who I happened upon? Folken of all people. Then I want back to his room with him and he fucked my brains out. Then he kicked me out and I came back here, naked and cried myself to sleep while berating myself for being so stupid. Somehow, that made things sound even worse. But he made an attempt.

"I... Folken... We..." He broke off, not sure how to put it, and unable to spit the words out. Looking up, tears threatened the crimson eyes once more and he couldn't keep his lower lip from trembling slightly. "Chesta, I want a bath..."

Chesta knew better than to push for an answer. If he got an answer at all, if would only be when Dilandau was ready to tell him. But the fact that Dilandau couldn't come up with an answer was rather ominous. As was the fact that Folken was involved. He couldn't exactly get away with killing the man.

Gently disentangling himself from his commander, Chesta stood, leaning down to gather Dilandau up into his arms. He was surprisingly light; especially when considering how much strength he could show in battle. The only one on the ship with any hope of besting his Lord would be Folken. At the thought, the normally passive blue eyes darkened.

Moving into the bathroom, Chesta flipped on a light before setting his charge down on the edge of the room's tub. Dilandau much preferred baths to showers, and as such, he had a tub rather than a simple nozzle in a small stall. Turning on the water, Chesta made sure the temperature wasn't too hot, testing it with is fingers.

While doing so, he glanced over at his Lord, trying to keep back an exclamation of worry. There were streaks of blood all down Dilandau's left leg, seeming to originate from several small wounds at his hip. There was also a little blood down the backs of his legs from the looks of it. And Dilandau seemed to be uncomfortable sitting...

Chesta's eyes snapped wide. Folken had raped Dilandau? The idea seemed to fit in place. Such a thing was likely to cause such a drastic reaction. Turning the water off, Chesta kept his thought to himself, incase he was actually wrong. Though he didn't think so. Scooping Dilandau up once more, he carefully lowered the listless form into the water.

Dilandau stiffened slightly as the warmth touched his wounds. It made his rear sting a little as well. But the comfort of the water far outweighed the discomfort. He settled back against the tub with a sigh, sinking down in.

Making sure his superior had soap, shampoo and the like at hand, Chesta turned to leave, intending on giving Dilandau privacy to bathe in peace. He was stopped by a hand snapping out to take a firm hold on his wrist. Looking back, he met Dilandau's wide eyes.

"No... Don't leave me Chesta. Please don't leave me alone. You can just sit quietly if you want, or join me for all I care. Just don't leave..." Even if Chesta could have denied his Lord something, he never could have ignored the pleading eyes. Dilandau looked... vulnerable. And that wasn't at all normal.

With a soft sigh, the blonde slipped from his clothing, leaving it in a pile, moving to slip into the warm water as well, settling himself behind Dilandau, letting his arms drape around the taller boy.

Dilandau relaxed back into the welcome embrace with a grateful sigh. Heaven must be something like this... He didn't protest when Chesta took up the soap and a cloth, beginning to gently wash his tired body, carefully erasing the trails of blood. He'd end up with a nasty bruise on his hip to go with the puncture wounds, but luckily, no one would see them.

The cloth left no area untouched, gliding over the smooth skin, cleaning away all traces of Folken. Finishing with Dilandau's legs, Chesta moved the cloth up over his stomach, then to his chest, the gentle scrubbing turning into more of a caress. Dilandau's head tipped back to rest on Chesta's shoulder, his eyes falling shut.

"Mmm... You're too good to me Chesta."

The soft voice spoke against his ear as he was nuzzled. "Someone has to be, Lord Dilandau. I'm more than happy to be the one." Chesta's cloth covered hand circled a nipple slowly, closing in until he rubbed over it lightly, extremely pleased by the shiver the touch caused. He moved his other hand up as well, pressing his palm to Dilandau's chest, rubbing back and forth, able to feel the heart beating.

As much as Dilandau enjoyed the feeling of the gentle hands running over him, he couldn't forget Folken's words. Lifting his hands, he captured Chesta's, pulling them away from his skin. "Chesta..."

The blonde tried not to pout as his hands were moved away. "Lord Dilandau... Don't you want me to touch you?" Feeling rather bold, Chesta turned his head slightly, giving Dilandau's ear a lick. He'd offer his Lord comfort. Among other things.

Dilandau tried to ignore the lick, giving one of Chesta's hands a squeeze. He was still rather sore from the previous night, but he'd never really gotten the satisfaction he'd ached for. "I don't deserve to want anything from you, Chesta. You can tell me you want it all you'd like. But I know how I treated you. Folken... Folken showed me."

Chesta looked away, the uncharacteristic frown back on his face. Unconsciously, he tightened his arms around the slender form, tucking his head down next to Dilandau's, letting their cheeks touch. "Folken hurt you... I thought so. Bastard." Wide crimson eyes looked back. That was rather unlike Chesta...

"No... It was my fault. I was wandering because... I couldn't sleep. I came across Folken. He offered... At least I think he offered. But I accepted. And he... He said he wasn't gentle because I wouldn't ask him... He said that he was just treating me the way I treated my men. The way I treated you." The tears that Dilandau thought he'd finally gotten over appeared once more, pricking at his eyes. "He just used me as he wanted... Then told me to go. That's exactly what I do to you."

"But he hurt you, Lord Dilandau. You don't hurt us. You've never harmed me. And you've never taken me when I didn't want you to. I'd prefer to stay... Though I leave you in peace when you wish it. You are my commander." Chesta pressed his hands to Dilandau's chest once again as the grip on his wrists slipped, holding the other youth close.

"I don't just want to be your commander!" Dilandau bit his lip immediately after the words had been spoken. Where had that come from? But the more he thought about it, the more he realized it was true. His men did serve under him. He was strict with their training. But when they were in his rooms, he didn't want to just be their commander. Not Chesta's anyway... Chesta was too good for that.

Taken aback, Chesta just looked at his Lord for a moment, confused, but also trying to suppress a swell of hope. Could Dilandau have feelings for him? Chesta didn't want to allow himself to believe and then have his wishes dashed. "Lord Dilandau... I think you need to rest... Why don't we finish your bath?" With a soft smile, the blonde gathered a little more soap on the cloth he'd been using, working on Dilandau's back.

The silver haired Lord didn't argue. He could hardly explain what he was feeling to himself, let alone to someone else. He stiffened slightly as the cloth slid lower, over his rear, dipping between gently to get the last of the blood. The cleaning was thorough, but careful. Chesta was obviously trying not to cause any more pain.

Discarding the cloth, Chesta began on Dilandau's silver hair, working shampoo into the silken strands, making sure to get it all clean before rinsing the lather out. All of the Dragonslayers knew that Dilandau was very proud of his appearance. Once the last of the lather had been rinsed away, Chesta carefully stood, draining the water and offering Dilandau a hand.

Reaching up, the battered man accepted the offer, standing with a little difficulty. Chesta helped him step from the tub and wrapped a towel about his waist. It hurt to move. It hurt to think... It nearly hurt to breathe. But Chesta's hands were soothing, helping to ease his tense muscles as he was dried, then drawn towards his bed.

It was a good thing Chesta had returned early, Dilandau realized, as well as acted so boldly. If he hadn't come, he might still have been in the same spot three days later, unwashed, hungry and well past the point of being comforted.

Pushed down carefully onto his bed, Dilandau let himself settle into the softness, thanking the Gods that Chesta had decided to show him such kindness. Before the blonde could tuck his Lord in, Dilandau had drawn him down into the bed as well, wrapping his arms firmly around the Dragonslayer.

Chesta didn't move for a moment. Dilandau was holding him... Just as he'd always wanted. Swallowing around the sudden tightness in his throat, he pulled the sheets up, settling close to the other youth, his arms wrapping around the other form as well.

Holding and being held, Dilandau quickly fell asleep, feeling oddly right, pressed close to someone. Feeling safe. Chesta lay awake for a little while, simply reveling in the closeness, listening to his Lord's even breathing. He felt very protective of Dilandau. He'd see to it that he wasn't hurt again. One way or another. Satisfied, and more comfortable than he'd been in quite some time, Chesta quietly followed his commander, his love, into slumber.