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Granting Favors

By: Eiji
folder +. to F › Flame of Recca
Rating: Adult ++
Chapters: 6
Views: 9,773
Reviews: 46
Recommended: 0
Currently Reading: 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Flame of Recca, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
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Chapter 3

A/N: Sorry for the delay. Here’s the third chapter. Thank you very much for the reviews! ^^
Disclaimer: Characters in the story aren’t mine. They belong to Nobuyuki Anzai.

Granting Favors

“There they are!” Recca Hanabishi announced excitedly when he spotted the bright, conspicuous heads of Fuuko and Tokiya among the large number of people riding down the escalator leading to the lounge. Domon, Yanagi, Kaoru and Ganko looked up at the direction their companion was pointing at and true enough, their long time comrades were walking down the lounge and toward the building’s sliding glass panels to exit the airport.

Fuuko had called Recca up when she was still in Australia and practically gloated that she was able to successfully force the aloof Tokiya Mikagami to finally come home to Japan. She told him their flight number and their estimated time of arrival and asked her best friend to gather all the Hokage to meet up with them at lunch for a small celebration.

She hadn’t asked him to pick them up from the airport. The small welcoming committee Recca gathered was his little surprise for them. And the surprise would undoubtedly turn futile if the two were just going to ignore them and leave the airport.

“Oi! Fuuko! Mikagami! Over here!!!”

Fuuko’s head shot up when she heard someone call her name amidst the noise inside the building. She stopped and scanned the people around her, looking for the familiar face the voice belonged to. Behind her, Tokiya, who appeared to be too lost in his thoughts, didn’t notice that his companion had stopped. He barreled straight at her smaller form and would have sent her toppling over if it were not for his quick reflexes. His left arm automatically shot out, wrapping around her slim figure and pulling her back to him to steady her.

And because of the height difference, Tokiya was suddenly all too aware of her ample breasts resting on his arm and her very feminine and alluring scent teasing his nostrils. He had the most overwhelming desire to bury his face in the spot where her neck and shoulder meet and taste her soft flawless skin. His hand itched to cup her right breast and tease her nipple under the soft fabric of her bra until she moaned with pleasure.

His pants suddenly became too tight, especially in the crotch area.

Tokiya winced and quickly released her as if she were hot iron and stepped back. He glared at her when she turned to look at him, “Don’t stop all of a sudden, you idiot! I could’ve walked all over you without realizing it.”

“Gomen,” Fuuko grinned cheekily at him, “I just thought I heard Recca…”

“Fuuko! Mikagami!”

This time, both of them heard the call clearly. Tokiya quickly turned his attention away from his companion and scanned the crowd around them, searching for a familiar and a very much welcome stupid-looking monkey face. He needed something to distract him from her and that was all he could do to stop himself from making an ass out of himself in front of Fuuko by being angry at her for no apparent reason.

Wait, maybe there was. He was angry at her for being too damn desirable.

And for making him imagine all the things he could do to her during his weeklong stay in Japan.

Alone.

With her.

In her house.

Kami, the possibilities…

Shit, Mikagami, since when have you become so perverted? He mentally berated himself. The familiar stirrings in his loins, which had been there for days on end, made his mood blacker for he couldn‘t do anything else but fantasize about her. Yeah, just fantasize. He couldn’t very well act on his desires now, could he?

No. Definitely not.

Not if he wanted the whole of Hokage breathing down his neck.

He scowled at his dilemma and wished Fuuko Kirisawa hadn’t changed so much.

“Jeez, Mi-chan,” Fuuko frowned up at him when she noticed his dark expression, “you could at least pretend to be happy that you’re back.”

“What?”

Not repeating her previous statement, she crossed her arms in a defiant gesture, unknowingly pushing up her breasts as she did so. As if drawn by magnet, his eyes dropped to her chest.

“Stop doing that,” he snapped. He couldn’t help it.

“Stop doing what?” Fuuko asked and dropped her hands to her sides, confusion apparent on her face.

“Stop frowning at me,” he made-do and looked away from her.

“Oh,” Fuuko raised her eyebrows in surprise, “well then, stop scowling at me.”

“I’m not scowling at you.”

“Yes, you are.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Yes, you are.”

“No, I’m no--” Tokiya stopped and sighed, running a hand through his platinum colored hair. “I’m just tired, I guess.”

He conceded to end the conversation. If one actually called it that rather than a childish argument. He dismissed her from his mind before things got out of hand and focused on searching for Hanabishi. He couldn’t see the sea-monkey anywhere but it was the gorilla who caught his attention due to his hulking figure. The Mohawk hairstyle that used to grace his head now gone, Domon Ishijima stood two heads taller than the other people in the lounge.

“There they are,” he told Fuuko, motioning toward the noisy group of primates, all monkeys except for Yanagi-san that is, waving enthusiastically at them. The monkey beside him waved back with the same gusto, a wide smile plastered on her exquisite face. She quickly grabbed his hand and pulled him along as she almost ran toward their friends.

Tokiya watched quietly as the Hokage warmly welcomed Fuuko with smiles and laughter. Affectionate kisses and hugs from Yanagi and Ganko and enthusiastic bear hugs from Hanabishi, Koganei and Ishijima. Tokiya frowned slightly when he noticed the hulking giant grab onto Fuuko longer than it was necessary.

It seemed that Domon Ishijima still hadn’t gotten over his little crush on Fuuko.

And the stupid woman seemed unaware of the telling act.

And why the thought even bothered Tokiya he didn’t have an idea. He tried to dismiss the annoying feeling with a mental shrug.

When the group settled down, all eyes turned to his direction. Not knowing what to do and just sticking to how he always was, he stared right back at them impassively.

It was Yanagi Sakoshita, a very pregnant Yanagi Sakoshita he now noticed, who walked timidly toward him and smiled. “Okairi nasai, Mikagami-senpai,” she said politely and bowed.

Tokiya was only able to nod in response as he stared at the blimp-sized Yanagi. He couldn’t believe that he wasn’t able to notice something so obvious as-- what it looked like-- an eight month old pregnancy. How could he even miss something like that? And on Yanagi Sakoshita, his beloved sister’s double, of all people? Shouldn’t he have noticed her condition the moment he first laid eyes on her again?

He mentally cursed Fuuko Kirisawa for claiming all of his attention all the time.

Blaming her for his unwanted attraction to her, Tokiya viciously glared at the purple haired beauty beside him.

And Fuuko, not knowing what suddenly came over her companion, glared right back. Really, what’s his problem anyway? It was as if he was blaming her for Yanagi’s condition. Fuuko narrowed her eyes at him. If he wanted to blame someone, he should blame Recca for doing that to his precious Yanagi. After all, she couldn’t possibly impregnate a fellow woman now, could she?

It was a chilling and a highly disturbing thought.

Stupid medical snowman and his currently stupid nonfunctioning brain and his stupid undying love for Yanagi…

“Aw, hime,” Recca, who appeared unaware of the silent battle raging between Fuuko and Tokiya, was quick to react to Yanagi’s courteous welcome, “there’s no need to be so polite with Ice Man here.” He grinned at his so-called rival and fixed him a cocky stare. “Good to have you back, Mikagami,” he said and clapped him hard on the back.

“Welcome back, nii-san,” both Ganko and Kaoru said at once while Domon bared his teeth at him in a welcoming grin. Dismissing Fuuko from his mind, Tokiya looked at them and sensed the underlying sincerity in the words spoken to him. He allowed a small smile grace his lips before answering.

“Tadaima.”

* * *

“So, when is the baby coming?” Fuuko asked Yanagi as they freshened themselves up in the ladies’ room. Lunch had gone quite well despite all the teasing and jokes aimed at Ganko and Kaoru’s newfound relationship.

“It’s next month, ne, Yanagi-nee-chan?” Ganko Morikawa, now a university student, answered for her. The little girl who, a long time ago, was in love with her puppets had grown into quite a dashing young woman. Fuuko could easily foresee the woman Ganko would become if the puppet Reiran, who looked like her mother, was any indication. Long golden hair framed her pretty face, with her big blue eyes still her striking feature, Ganko now stood with the confidence and wit of a young aspiring professional. The baby fats which Fuuko noticed when she last saw her were now gone. She had grown almost as tall as Yanagi, or maybe even taller.

It was no wonder that the laid-back Kaoru Koganei had fallen for her.

“Hai,” the older woman beamed. Yanagi Sakoshita, on the other hand, seemed that pregnancy agreed with her. Her cheeks were always flushed with vibrancy. And despite her being the size of an elephant and her perpetual mood swings, her sweet temperament was still her best trait, though Fuuko had always wondered how her friend could maintain such quality with Recca as a husband. Then again, he could be a doting husband and soon-to-be father for all she knew. Yanagi was still as lovely as ever. And a happy married life truly seemed to be her fate.

“I’ll be there when the time comes,” Fuuko promised her friend as she continued brushing her hair. She knew it would be important for Yanagi if all of them were there to lend support. She hoped Mi-chan could be there as well for her. No matter how pissed she was at him right now.

The thought of Tokiya Mikagami made her frown deepen. The stupid Ice Man had been glaring daggers at her the moment they arrived in Japan. He had been quiet and tolerable during their flight home but when they landed, his icy façade doubled and his don’t-come-near-me look was back in place.

Mi-chan had always been a hard one to read. Yet, the inconsistencies in his character today had been mind-boggling. If he didn’t want to do something, he made sure you knew it with his sharp looks and sarcastic words. That was why Fuuko was pretty sure that he wasn’t mad at her for making him come home. In fact, he looked quite happy when they were boarding the plane, if the small smile that graced his lips was any indication. What really confused her was the way he was treating her right now. He looked like he was blaming her for something. And what that something was she had no idea.

“But what if you’re out on an assignment?” Yanagi asked, breaking into Fuuko‘s thoughts.

Fuuko dropped her brush inside her bag and smiled as she looked at her friend, “I quit. I’ve decided to stay here and work on a local magazine.”

“That’s great!” Ganko squealed in delight and hugged her. “But are you sure? You’ve always liked traveling,” she asked when she released her.

“I’m sure,” Fuuko laughed.

“Arigato, Fuuko,” Yanagi smiled, tears in her eyes. Fuuko smiled back at her and gave her a hug. She dismissed Yanagi’s tearful state due to her delicate condition. If that’s what pregnancy did to a woman then, no thanks. She’d rather not experience it. She was positive she was going to be very nasty if she were in the same condition.

“Have you told anyone yet?” Ganko asked, “I mean, aside from us?”

“Only Mi-chan,” she frowned when she remembered his reaction to the news. He looked awfully happy and relieved as if he was finally going to see the last of her. And had told her that it was a good decision since she was too old to go around chasing animals. The stupid jerk. She knew people older than she was who still went around the world hunting crocs and wrangling snakes, which by far were more dangerous and exhausting than her photography assignments. Too old, huh? What kind of an answer was that?

She so wanted to kick him.

“What did he say?”

“Nothing worth repeating,” Fuuko answered with a careless wave of her hand. “He was purposely being a jerk.”

Yanagi smiled, “Maybe it’s his way of saying ‘I’ve missed you’?”

Fuuko looked at Yanagi incredulously. Where did she get that idea? Could she be as naïve today as she was almost a decade ago? “I don’t think so, Yanagi,” she scoffed. “You should have seen the way he acted back in his suite and on the plane. He barely looked at me. He totally acted as if he were alone. And I don‘t think he even wanted to be here. Not anymore.” The ungrateful lout.

“He’s glad to be back, Fuuko-nee-chan,” Ganko said and led the way out of the ladies’ room. “Even I could see it on his face.”

“Then what’s he scowling at me for?” she muttered under her breath as they neared their table. And as if to prove Tokiya’s dislike for her, he looked at her quite intently for a moment when he stood up to welcome back the ladies. And then he scowled at her. She frowned right back at him.

“What’s your problem?” she hissed under her breath as she took the seat on his right once again.

“What the hell are you talking about?” he asked in a bored tone though Fuuko could have sworn that there was a sharp and wary edge in his voice. In all appearances, he looked about to fall asleep as he pressed the cup of tea to his mouth and took a sip. Yet, somehow, Fuuko knew that beneath that cool and detached façade was a very intense man who always was aware of the things around him.

“You’re scowling at me again. What did I ever do to you?” she whispered.

“I’m not scowling.”

“Yes, you are,” Fuuko countered impatiently. When Tokiya remained silent, she tugged at the lock of long silver hair that fell on his right shoulder to get his attention. “Hey, look at me when I’m talking to you.”

Grudgingly, he turned to face her, his gaze veiled under eyelashes. “What?” he snapped almost impatiently.

“Jeez, Mi-chan, what happened? You weren’t this difficult back in Sydney,“ she growled menacingly as she glared at him. To Tokiya’s desire filled mind, the sound only made her all the more dangerous and desirable. A lethal combination, in his opinion.

It made him think of the fierce lionesses he had seen in her photo gallery, hunting their prey with such intensity and readying themselves for a fight if there need be one. Yet, he pictured another kind of fight in his mind. It was a fight involving naked bodies, tangled legs and silken sheets. He had heard her growl and now he wondered how she would sound when she purred underneath him, sated and spent.

The thought was highly erotic.

He winced as he shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

“You okay?” Fuuko asked worriedly when she noticed Tokiya’s discomfort and placed a hand on his right thigh.

“I‘m fine!” Tokiya snapped at her when her hand came dangerously close to his aching member. He grabbed her hand and dragged it away from his body to avoid any embarrassing moments he might suffer if her hand lingered any longer. Or any higher for that matter.

“What’s gotten into you? You’re acting as if I‘m going to infect you with an incurable disease or something.”

“I just don‘t want you touching me, all right?”

Fuuko stared at him in appalled disbelief, her mouth opening to form a rebuke but only a strangled sound came out of her pink lips. Tokiya almost winced when he saw pain and confusion cloud her cobalt blue eyes. But before he could even think of doing anything, the emotions in her eyes disappeared.

Anger quickly replaced them.

“Listen, Mi-chan,” she curled her fingers on her lap and glared at him, “if you’re going to act this way the whole week then Kami help me, I’m going to kick you hard each time you piss me off!”

His mouth opened before he could thoroughly think what he was about to say. “Need I remind you that it was your stupid idea to bring me here?” was his nasty reply. A swift kick to his shin was her answer. “Ow! The hell did you do that for?!” he demanded angrily yet was able to maintain control of the low volume of his voice. How he did that successfully was beyond him.

“Stop being such a jerk!” she barely controlled her anger. “I know you’re happy to be back. What I don’t understand is why you keep on glaring at me as if I’ve done you a capital offense…”

“I’m not glaring at you,” was his irritated yet lame interruption.

She ignored him. “…so thank me properly for being so nice to you.”

And the glaring contest began. None of the two backed down as they continued to stare each other down.

“Uh… you two done yet?” Recca interrupted with a knowing smile on his lips. He was enjoying the showdown between two of his most strong-willed comrades. Sparks were positively flying the moment the two sat down again. He watched, amused, when the two stopped fighting and then realized that they were almost nose to nose in their argument. Both quickly moved back and what made Recca laugh heartily was when both of them reached for their respective glasses at the same time and drink to cover up their embarrassment at being caught bickering like children.

Recca Hanabishi would have never thought it in a million years but looking at the two made him realize what a handsome, and perhaps well-balanced, pair the two would make. That is, if they didn’t kill each other first.

“You know, Mikagami,” Recca said after a while, “you better start treating Fuuko real nice if you want to leave Japan alive after a week.” Tokiya glared at him in response.

“Couldn‘t you prolong your stay here, Mikagami-senpai?” Yanagi asked.

He could. But he wasn’t going to tell them that. So he just shrugged his shoulders.

“He could. He just doesn’t want to,” Fuuko interpreted the movement. Tokiya arched a brow at her. She cocked her head to one side, “What? It‘s true, isn‘t it?”

“I’d very much appreciate it if you keep your unfounded opinions to yourself.”

“I’d very much appreciate it if you stop being so rude,” she shot back.

“If you stop being such a know-it-all, then I might stop being rude.”

“Sure. Blame it all on me, why don’t you?” Fuuko replied tersely, “And while you’re at it, blame me for Yanagi’s pregnancy too!”

“What does Yanagi-san’s condition have to do with this?” was his incredulous reply.

“You tell me. You started glowering at me the moment you noticed that she‘s pregnant!”

“What? I wasn‘t doing such a thing!”

“You’ve been denying things from the start, Mi-chan. That’s just so immature!”

“You’ve been picking fights from trivial matters with me since we got off the plane. Now that’s what you call immature!”

“Hey, kids, break it up,” Recca interrupted laughingly before Fuuko could make a nasty comeback. “You’re acting like 5 year olds. Makes me wonder how you could live under the same roof in one week.”

“Well, maybe they could just kiss and make out, I mean, make up every time they fight?” was Kaoru Koganei’s sly suggestion. He punctuated the supposedly innocent remark with a broad, impish grin. Recca looked at the younger man and smirked.

Just as sharp as ever, he thought.

Tokiya, on the other hand, was not amused. He sent an icy glare towards Kaoru’s direction while Fuuko dismissed the seemingly harmless yet asinine comment with a mental shrug.

“Ne, Kaoru-kun,” Ganko turned toward the younger man afterward and whispered, “I still have classes today so I’m going to go now, okay?”

“I’ll drive you there,” was his quick reply. Ganko smiled gratefully.

“Minna, sorry but we have to go,” Ganko said, breaking the silence that descended upon them, as both stood up. “I still have classes so…”

“It’s fine, Ganko-chan,” Fuuko waved her excuse away with a smile, “I’ll just see you later, okay?” Ganko nodded and smiled.

“Ja,” Kaoru raised a hand in goodbye. He placed the other on Ganko’s small back and led her out of the restaurant.

“Well, guess we better get going as well,” Recca said after a while. He got out of his seat and helped Yanagi stand up. “Hime needs her rest in her condition, ne, sensei?” he tilted his head toward the doctor. Tokiya nodded mutely.

“Ja, matta ne, Domon, Fuuko, Mikagami-senpai,” Yanagi bowed politely before she let Recca lead her out. They all watched as the couple disappeared outside the door.

“So,” Domon turned his attention toward the two after a few moments of silence. He leaned forward and placed his muscular arms on the table, “you’re staying for a week at Fuuko’s, eh, Mikagami?”

“That’s the plan, yes.”

“You don’t seem too happy about it,” Domon observed with a nod. Tokiya leveled him with a nonchalant stare.

“Who would be?”

Fuuko grabbed the errant lock of silver hair on his shoulder and tugged sharply. “I’m right here, Mi-chan,” she reminded him sweetly, with a vein pulsing on her temple. “Insult me when I’m not!”

Domon watched as Tokiya tried to pry Fuuko’s fingers from his hair. When he was unsuccessful, he gave up and reached out to pinch her nose instead. She yelped and finally released him. He did all of these without an ounce of expression on his face.

“I just hope you don’t kill each other,” Domon sighed when both settled down.

“Don’t worry about it,” Tokiya replied after he retied his hair, “I’m sure Fuuko-san’s mother and Ganko would prove to be excellent buffer between us.” Fuuko stilled at the comment. And so did Domon.

“Mi-chan, you think I still live with my mother?” Fuuko asked incredulously. She laughed when Tokiya merely shot her a puzzled-- and was that horror in his eyes?-- look, “Jeez, how old do you think I am? Twelve?”

He blinked. No, he thought as his gaze ran on her exquisite body, he would never lust after a twelve year old.

But…

Wait a minute…

What did she just say?

Shit!

Domon Ishijima watched the different emotions that flashed one after the other in Mikagami’s eyes. He got a full view of them since he was sitting right across him. First, there was confusion. Then shock. Excitement. Lust. Confusion once again. And finally, panic.

Despite popular belief, Domon wasn’t a stupid gorilla. He had noticed the heated looks Tokiya was giving Fuuko whenever he thought no one was looking. He never thought he would see his cold blue eyes turn so hot with desire. It was a bit frightening in its intensity. Yet he knew Tokiya would never hurt Fuuko. Not physically anyway.

He just wanted her. Real bad.

And he almost felt sorry for the doctor. Because Fuuko Kirisawa was just so dense sometimes, especially when it came to these things. He should know. He’d been there.

“You’re living alone?” Tokiya almost growled at her, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I assumed you’d know, baka!” Fuuko answered with a laugh.

“This isn’t funny.”

Fuuko sobered up when she noticed that Tokiya wasn’t laughing with her. “Aw, come on!” she cried in exasperation, “You think I’ll attack you while you slept or something? Don‘t worry, Mi-chan, your virtue‘s safe with me.” And she patted him on the arm reassuringly.

Tokiya was speechless.

What did she say? His virtue? She was concerned about HIS fucking virtue?! What the hell?! Tokiya bit the urge to growl in frustration.

Domon, who, in all good intentions, wanted to help Mikagami out of the situation, gave up afterward and just sat back to enjoy the show. It was truly a novelty to see Mikagami so flustered. And confused. He knew he should do something to mess up the weeklong arrangement. Because if he didn’t, it would mean he had given up on Fuuko.

Still, after thinking long and hard about it, he knew that Fuuko’s feelings for him could only border on friendship. A decade of that friendship proved that to him. Oh, he knew Fuuko cared for him. Just not in the same way he cared for her. He had promised himself, a long time ago, to fight once again for Fuuko once she came back. Seriously, this time.

Yet, there was something that stopped him from doing so when he saw her again today. Some sixth sense told him to give up on her especially when he saw her with Mikagami. Somehow, seeing them together made him think that it’s all over for him.

How and why he felt that way he couldn’t explain.

Was it the way Tokiya looked at her? Or the way Fuuko acted around him?

Reading Fuuko had always been easy for him. After all, he had been watching her since high school. He knew Fuuko was always easy to irritate. And her show of temper around Tokiya had been expected especially since he‘d been acting like an ass. Yet, there was an underlying happiness beneath her angry retorts. It seemed that she was really glad to have Mikagami back in Japan and she was looking forward to spending time with him for a whole week.

But, of course, knowing Fuuko as she was, she’d probably dismiss the strange feeling of happiness. She’d probably think that she’d just missed the guy and wanted to talk about the good old high school days. It had been quite a long time since she last saw him, after all.

She was just like so because Fuuko truly lived up to her name. The Child of the Wind. Flighty, careless and free, she was never one to focus on one subject and give all of her attention to it. In a word, she had the attention span of a fly.

Domon sighed. Fuuko’s smart yet very dim with the matters of the heart. And of hormones for that matter.

“If you haven’t noticed, we’ve been fighting since we arrived,” Domon snapped back to reality when he heard Tokiya argue with Fuuko, “So, it’s best that I check in a nearby hotel because Domon is right. We might kill each other in the end.”

Fuuko appeared thoughtful for a moment, as if seriously considering what Tokiya had told her. But when a grin started to form on her luscious lips, Tokiya knew that he wasn’t going to like what she was going to say.

“I get it now!” Fuuko suddenly said, triumph in her voice as if she just discovered the key to world peace. “Is that why you’ve been picking a fight with me ever since we got here? To make me angry enough to boot you out of my apartment?” She laughed, “Well, too bad for you because from now on, I’m going to ignore your attempts at making me mad.”

E-Eh?

“Mi-chan,” Fuuko tilted her head and spoke slowly as if talking to a child, a dimwitted one. “I told you that you’re going to stay at my place,” she said and smiled indulgently, “So I’m not going to take back my word just because you’re pissing me off, which, I had to admit, you were very successful.”

Tokiya remained silent as he continued to stare at her in disbelief. How can a 25 year old woman be so… completely dense?

“What are you so worried about anyway?” Fuuko finally asked.

Tokiya looked at her intently. There was no other way around. He had to say it straight to her face, “I’m a man, you’re a woman. We’re not related and we’ll be living together in your apartment for a week. It’s highly improper.” He omitted saying ‘I want you real bad’ since she would probably not believe him and would only consider it as something he used to scare her. Well, not that anything could actually scare her…

Then again, he probably should’ve said so when she merely blinked back at him.

“You’re worried about that?” Fuuko asked incredulously. “We’re friends, Mi-chan. I trust you. I’m sure you wouldn’t do anything like that. You’re a safe guy to be with.” She nodded sagely, “And I promise I won’t attack you either so you’re safe too.” Then she grinned confidently.

Kami, Tokiya thought in exasperation as he closed his eyes, I think she wants to see a grown man cry!

“Are you afraid of me?” Fuuko teased and patted his shoulder. “I told you, everything will be fine. Trust me.” Tokiya gave up all hope of insisting that the arrangement was stupid. It was no use anyway. So he just sighed and sipped his already cool tea.

Domon watched as Fuuko changed the subject and started another conversation regarding her adventures in the Outback. He glanced at the quiet Mikagami and sympathized with him.

It’s not you Mikagami distrusts, Fuuko, Domon thought. He distrusts himself.
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