In Defiance of Destiny

“Now you just need to accept it.” Touga murmured, pulling back and watching Ruka, waiting patiently while the blue-haired boy struggled underneath him, hungry for the touch of skin to skin that had become his salvation and escape. On some level, he felt betrayed. He’d asked a favor from Touga, and the redhead was proving that he was nothing better than the man he served. Looking up at the soft gray eyes that were regarding him, Ruka could find none of the arrogance or malice that he was expecting. Concern and sympathy were at the forefront, covering pure desire. Suddenly uncomfortable, Ruka turned away from the knowing gaze.


“I can take whatever you can give.” He murmured.


If Touga thought the choice of words odd, he said nothing as he slid into the role he knew so well, intent on seducing the other fencer. He slid his hands over the blue-haired boy’s torso, from his hips to his shoulders before moving around to his front, whispering his fingertips over the narrow swath of skin available to him over the high neck of the academy uniform. Ruka’s pulse quickened at his touch, and Touga smiled, leaning down. “It’s easy to give in, you just have to want it.” He whispered against the other boy’s temple, where the blue hair ended.


Ruka looked at him then, eyes intelligent and, although the words were beseeching, there was nothing of weakness in his gaze, the words as much a command as a plea. “Don’t tease me, Touga. I’ll let you have me, but please don’t tease me.”


Touga hesitated. The challenge was plain, even if the words were contradictory. He smiled at Ruka, deeply enjoying the game. “Behave, and I won’t have to tease.” He replied, flicking open the top button of the blue-haired boy’s uniform.


Ruka looked at him for a moment, than brought his hand up to cover Touga’s, before the redhead could move further. “And if I don’t behave?”


Touga laughed, then, using skills honed in battle field and bedroom, he swung a leg over Ruka’s hips, pining the saberist’s arms over his head before Ruka even had the time to react. The blue-haired boy stared up at him, eyes darkening with desire as Touga leaned down. “You will, Ruka.” He whispered, inches from Ruka’s mouth. “You’ll behave, because you want me to have you.”


Ruka shuddered, his whole body tensing before he lunged upwards, closing the space between them. This time, Touga let him, wanting to end the game as badly as Ruka. He forced the other boy back into the mattress, driving the entire force of the passion that had been plaguing him all night into a single, forceful kiss that both possessed Ruka and gave himself to the blue-haired boy. He plundered Ruka’s mouth ruthlessly, leaving no corner unexplored, and bringing the blue-haired boy to life under him. Ruka twisted under his grasp, doing all that he could to deepen the kiss, and Touga growled low in his throat, hands releasing Ruka’s wrists to being tearing at his uniform, wanted to discard the barrier between them. As soon as he was freed, Ruka brought his arms up and busied his own hands with removing Touga’s robe, fingers sliding against the soft silk and burning against the redhead’s skin.


Hissing, Touga pulled back long enough to help, throwing the robe against a chair, then inelegantly pulled Ruka up, slamming their mouths together again as he ripped the jacket off the saberist’s shoulders. Growling angrily at the barriers that remained, the redhead roughly pushed Ruka back far enough to rip his undershirt over his head, before sealing their bodies together again. The blue-haired boy’s reactions were amazing, and Touga reveled in them, and in the intense fire that was Ruka himself. The taste of him, the feel of Ruka’s tongue entwined with his. Ruka was consuming him with his very essence, and Touga wanted to keep going forever, to make this last and keep this moment forever, the future simply a technicality.


Eventually, though, Ruka had to tear his mouth away, gasping for breath as he fell back against the pillows. His chest heaved under Touga’s hands, and the redhead transferred his attention to the narrow column of Ruka’s throat, trailing kisses down his neck, pausing at the point at the center, where the blue-haired boy’s pulse danced wildly under his lips. Ruka moaned, his hands sliding over Touga’s back, searching for purchase on slick skin. In the back of his mind, Touga realized that he was about to lose control, that he had become addicted to the other boy in the past few minutes, and was in danger of losing himself. He also realized he could care less. He ravaged Ruka’s body, leaving no inch of his torso untouched by hand or mouth, moving down the saberist’s body with even, deliberate moves. As he moved lower, Touga slid his hands down to caress Ruka’s thighs, sliding his hand between the blue-haired boy’s legs and running his fingers over the tight fabric of his pants.


Ruka bucked under Touga’s hand, and the only thought in his head was that he wanted more. The fabric of his pants was rough against his heated skin, and the sensation was driving him crazy, even as he wished the cloth would disappear, the last barrier between him and the source of his pleasure. He arched upwards, stifling a cry as the redhead leaned down to graze one nipple. When Touga took the taught flesh into his mouth, teasing it expertly with his tongue, Ruka cried out, the redhead’s name a choked cry.


Amused, Touga glanced up at his partner’s face. Ruka was staring up at the ceiling, eyes unfocused and darkened nearly too black, and Touga felt a jolt run through him. The blue-haired boy was gorgeous, the determined and fiery fencer reduced to a wanton and writhing creature by his touch alone. Touga ran his hands over the sharp planes of the fencer’s body, noting the way that even long illness had not lessened the wiry muscle that was the mark of a seasoned fencer. He moved back up to kiss Ruka again, and the saberist seemed to break from his trance, awakening under his touch and demanding more.


Touga dominated the kiss, threading his fingers in the blue-haired boy’s hair, forcing his head back and holding him while he locked their mouths together. Ruka didn’t even flinch at the rough treatment, sliding his hand behind Touga’s head to lock their mouths together, canting his hips up to grind his hips against the redhead’s.


Touga gasped into Ruka’s mouth, the cloth-covered heat of Ruka’s erection inches from his own, and his hips thrust down without permission, grinding against the blue-haired boy desperately. Need and desperation were driving him to act like a teenager, and they clashed together in the night. The pressure was building, behind his eyes, between his eyes, under his skin. Building, growing….


Touga groaned raggedly, using the last of his self control to pull away, burying his face in Ruka’s neck as he tried to take back the situation, and Ruka growled frustration at the change. Levering himself from under the redhead, Ruka flipped them both over, ignoring the look of warning on Touga’s face as he busied himself with his body. He moved with calculated speed, dragging his body down Touga’s torso and using every inch of surface available to him in his seduction. Touga could only watch in amazement as Ruka bent his head, trailing kisses over his body in a way that could only be described as reverently. Slowly, the blue-haired boy covered Touga’s body; making each place he touched burn with the intensity of his passion. He traced a line down Touga’s body, not stopping until he was curled at the end of the bed, one hand resting on each of Touga’s calves. His head remained bowed as he pressed at the inside of each leg, and Touga spread them without a word, fascinated by the display Ruka was presenting to him. Nothing he knew of the fencing captain could have prepared him for what Ruka did next. Ruka smiled wistfully, then, to Touga’s amazement, pressed his face to the inside of Touga’s leg, rubbing his hair along the limb in a manner that reminded Touga of a cat. Slowly, if in half time, Ruka crept back up between his legs, placing a single hand on each side of Touga’s hips. For a few seconds, Ruka just looked at him calmly, and Touga could feel a tension unlike any he had felt before. Then Ruka bent, caressing the head of Touga’s penis with his lips before opening his mouth and taking the other boy deep within himself.


If Touga had been harboring any thoughts of holding back, his illusions were shattered the instant he was encased by Ruka’s mouth. He cried out, and one hand bit into the sheets in a frantic grasp. He reached out for Ruka, brushing back the strands of blue which had fallen like a screen between them. Whatever images the academy had of Ruka’s sexuality, the saberist knew what he was doing. His mouth was warm and hot and caressedTouga’s shaft with each long pull. He made no hesitation to take the whole thing into his mouth, throat closing tightly around Touga before he pulled back slowly, his mouth reluctantly surrendering its hold on the hard shaft while his tongue caressed each inch it relinquished. Dark eyes glanced up at Touga for a few brief seconds, and then looked down again, every fiber of his being intent on his task.


The blue-haired boy\'s mouth was warm, and wet and frighteningly close to perfect. Touga fought not to move, with limited success, as he watched the beautiful boy give him pleasure. The actions, the submission, it was amazing, and Touga wanted more. Only more. He wanted to keep Ruka, to own him, to put the boy’s talents to his own use.


In that instant, something inside Touga froze and shattered. He knew, with startling clarity, what the other boy thought he was doing. He hadn’t seen it before, he’d used it before. “Stop.” He hissed, the word ground out by pure force of will from a throat that wanted to scream the virtues of the pleasure he was getting. Ruka paused, looking up at redhead, lips still a ghosting touch on the head of Touga’s member as he made a curious, desperate sound in the back of his throat. The anxiety of the sound, and the brief spark in the blue-haired boy’s eyes told Touga everything he needed to know. “Stop.” He said again, the words stronger this time, even as he caressed the side of Ruka’s face gently, pulling him away. He rolled them over again, laying next to the saberist for a few long moments while he continued to gather control over himself.


“Don’t do it, Ruka. Don’t confuse us.” He said, once he’d found his voice. Ruka looked up at him, frustrated, but didn’t speak. “I’m not him. Don’t do anything you don’t truly want…” He trailed off, studying his own hands as they traced random patterns over his partner’s skin.


Ruka’s eyes widened. “You think…?” He began, than stopped, mouth still wet from his ministrations on Touga snapping closed. He made a choked sound, then started to laugh, the sound lacking mirth but filled with something frighteningly dark. “Don’t be a fool, Touga.” He growled, and reached up to tangle one long-fingered hand in the deep red hair that was flowing like a river of blood on his chest. “I appreciate your concern, but don’t you dare pity me.”


He twisted his hand, throwing Touga off-balance. “Now is not the time for you to gain a conscience!”


The words were accompanied by one long leg sliding up Touga’s hip and around his back. Without warning, Ruka tightened the iron-like muscles of his leg, forcing Touga forward. The redhead reached out, planting his hands on either side of the blue-haired boy’s shoulders to prevent himself from collapsing onto the other boy. Ruka’s gaze seared into his mind as their pelvises clashed against violently, almost painfully, and the tenuous hold Touga had been trying to keep over his self control snapped as he responded to the challenge, grinding savagely against the other boy. He untangled Ruka’s fingers from his hair and forced the limb over Ruka’s head. The saberist didn’t object, simply reached down to tear at the buckle of his own pants, desperate to remove the last barrier between them. Touga ripped that hand away too, though, throwing it away and attacking the fly on his own. He jerked at the offending fabric until it gave, yanking both it and the blue-haired boy’s underwear off at once. He didn’t even note where they landed as he thrust his knee between Ruka’s thighs, forcing the other boy’s legs apart so he could move between them, pressing their bodies together for the first time without barriers. Ruka gasped, and he reached up blindly, pulling Touga to him for a savage kiss.


The two boys held together as long as they could, trading dominance between them as they sought to reveal themselves in the kiss, lips and tongues seeking to possess each other. Eventually, even the desperation of their desire gave way to the simple need to breath, and they pulled apart, gasping for air. Ruka reached up, pulling Touga’s head down, and pressed their foreheads together for a moment.


“I want you.” He fought out between frantic breaths.


Touga’s eyes slid shut, and he shuddered hard as Ruka spoke the words he’d been hoping to hear all night, perhaps longer. He didn’t ask for conformation, as Ruka’s certainty was revealed in every inch of his body, the saberist as taught as a bowstring beneath him, hard length pressed against Touga’s own. The admission sent a surge of desire through his body, electrifying his nerves. He nodded.


“You shall have me.” He whispered, feeling Ruka convulse under him, the blue-haired boy’s fingernails digging into his shoulders.


Rolling off Ruka, Touga reached to the side, fumbling on the side table for what he knew was there. His body refused to take any more time for words or caution, and he sought for his target without care for the items that fell to the floor, the sounds of their impact echoing in the darkness. A moment later Touga’s fingers closed around the small tube, and he smiled triumphantly at Ruka as he held it in front of him. Ruka nodded without hesitation, and he strained up to share another soul-searching kiss with the redhead. As they pulled apart, Ruka spread his legs without a word, and Touga moved down, blessing Ruka with a secretive and seductive smile that was astonishingly sincere. Ruka’s breath caught as Touga knelt between his legs and twisted the cap off the tube, squeezing a generous amount of its contents onto his fingers. He didn’t hesitate to spread his legs further as Touga touched him, expert fingers descending under him, kneading the flesh between his buttocks before sliding one slender digit pushed into him. All semblance of reason left Ruka’s gaze at the invasion, and he stiffened, biting his lip to mask a grunt of pain even as he pushed back against Touga’s hand. Touga smiled. “Be calm, beautiful.” He murmured, bending forward to run his lips over Ruka’s chest, giving the blue-haired boy something else to think about, and another sensation to drive him to the edge of sanity.


Touga took his time preparing the other boy, wanting to drive Ruka into a frenzy of another kind, unwilling to allow his partner a complete victory. He sought to drive the blue-haired boy completely mad, to reduce Ruka’s world only to Touga and the feelings he could bring out in his body. Even when the blue-haired boy took three fingers easily, he continued to stretch and caress Ruka, waiting until his name was a curse on the saberist’s lips before pulling back.


Pulling Ruka’s leg over his shoulder, Touga felt an appreciation for the athletic flexibility of the other boy as he best forward, locking his eyes with Ruka’s, wanting the blue-haired boy to see him as he possessed his body. Leaning down, he pressed a kiss to Ruka’s lips as he positioned himself at his entrance. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.” He said, and thrust deep inside the other boy, the final syllable turning to a groan of pleasure.


Ruka’s eyes flew open, whether from the words or the invasion, even he didn’t know. His hands clutched at Touga desperately, a jagged cry catching in his throat for a second before being released. His leg slid from Touga’s shoulder and locked around his waist, trying to force the kendoist deeper into him.


As soon as he was inside the other boy, Touga realized he no longer had control of the situation, his hips snapping forward as his body plunged into the blue-haired boy as hard as he could, repeating the action mindlessly. Ruka strained back against him, and for the first time in his life, Touga cursed the sheets of his bed, as the slick material forced Ruka away from him with each thrust. Growling at his thwarted possession, Touga pulled out, throwing Ruka inelegantly over and onto his stomach.


Ruka needed no reason for the change in position, and his hands reached instinctively for the headboard, grasping it in an iron grip seconds before Touga drove into him again. The redhead set a rhythm that was a step away from painful, and Ruka’s knuckles turned white against the headboard as he pushed back against each thrust, determined to meet the desperate rhythm. Even as the sensations and pleasure spiraled out of control within him, Ruka sought more. He wanted Touga to take him completely; he wanted Touga to possess him.


“Deeper.” He gasped out; the only coherent word in a litany of wordless groans and cries. The gaze he shot over his shoulder was smoldering with need, and Ruka could feel Touga jolt hard against him, temporarily breaking his rhythm.


The redhead wasn’t sure it was even possible, but at that moment would have gladly given anything to the beautiful boy who had made him believe in things that he hadn’t considered since he was five. Wrapping his arm around Ruka’s chest, he pulled, forcing the other boy to release the headboard. Still holding Ruka, Touga leaned back until he was sitting on his ankles, Ruka nested against him. The position was slightly awkward, and slowed the rhythm of their coupling, but gravity and Ruka’s own weight served to increase the intensity of the penetration.


The blue-haired boy set the tempo, sliding back against Touga, his hands sliding down to grasp the redhead’s thighs for leverage. The two boys rocked against each other, allowing their passion to finally climb towards crescendo, and the twin cries of their voices filled the air.


Relinquishing his hold on Ruka’s body, Touga reached down to grasp Ruka’s penis, caressing the hard flesh, his grasp tight and still slicked by the remnants of lubrication. The pressure inside him was building again, this time without fences, and Touga used his free hand to wrench the Ruka’s head around hard, kissing him urgently, despite the awkward angle.


Lifting himself with his hands, Ruka slammed down, forcing the redhead as deep as he could, and Touga thrust up to meet him, to take him completely. They repeated the action over and over again, choreographing their own version of ecstasy as they met in a frantic rhythm.


Ruka was lost, a white heat burning within him and threatening to blow him apart at every nerve. The hot body behind Ruka, within him, and the feeling of being completely possessed completed his ascent, and the overwhelming sensations of Touga’s skilled hand on him only served to drive him closer to the edge. He drove down a final time before freezing, and his hands bit deeply into Touga’s thighs as he released himself with a cry that was lost in Touga’s kiss. Behind him, the redhead groaned, body arching backwards as he felt Ruka tighten around him, and he buried his face in Ruka’s shoulder as he spilled his seed deep within the dark haired boy.


For several seconds, neither boy moved, save for the heaving of their chests. Ruka’s head had fallen back against Touga’s shoulder, and his hands still grasped Touga’s legs, clenching sporadically from time to time as tremors continued to pursue each other through his body. Slowly, as if from a dream, the boys began to move again, Ruka falling back to his hands and allowing Touga to pull away. Weakened, they both fell to their sides, and Touga rolled away, fumbling at the side table again, finding a cloth there and dipping it into the ever-present pitcher of water. In the back of his mind, he recalled the sound of breaking glass and was glad it was the tumbler, and not the pitcher, which now lay shattered on his bedroom floor. Turning back over, Touga was a little surprised to see that Ruka hadn’t moved. When Touga began to slide the cloth over his thighs, however, the blue-haired boy pushed him away. “I should be getting back to my own room.” He murmured quietly, beginning to sit up.


Touga didn’t even hesitate. He sat up and wrapped his arms around Ruka’s shoulders, pulling him back against his chest. “Not yet, Ruka.


“I…have too.”


“No, you don’t.” Touga replied. “And I’m too tired to argue. No one gets up in this damnable place much before six and that’s,” he glanced over at the clock, “still four hours away.”


Ruka relaxed the slightest bit. “Touga, I…”


“I’ll wake you up at quarter too. I promise.” Touga said. “Stay here, where it’s warm.”


Ruka shuddered slightly, than seemed to deflate. The argument was weak, but it didn’t need strength, Ruka’s own longing to stay lending it potency beyond any logic. “As it would be unseemly for me to walk down the hallway dragging the student council president, I suppose I must stay.” He said, the words making Touga smile.


“Unseemly, indeed.” He replied, the words slurred by fatigue. Ruka relaxed, and Touga spooned himself against the other boy’s back, pulling him down to the mattress again. Reaching down, Touga pulled a blanket over their cooling bodies as he twined his legs with Ruka’s. He wrapped his arms more tightly around Ruka, smiling when he felt the blue-haired boy’s hand come up to cover his own. They slid into the world of dreams together, curled around one another for warmth. For a few brief hours, they had defied the burden of their destinies, finding comfort, and themselves, in each other’s embrace. They had demanded more of each other than anyone had the right to ask, but had been equally ready to give the same of themselves. Now, with the moon as their only witness, they wrapped themselves around one another, using the physical comfort to strengthen the illusion of safety and happiness, of desires fulfilled. In the few moments before they fell asleep, they almost believed that it wasn’t an illusion, and that perhaps they had uncovered a single truth in the web of lies that created the walls of Ohtori academy.


When the alarm went off, Ruka was already gone. Touga awoke to find his bed painfully empty, the door just sliding to a close and a curious sensation, as though he had just been kissed, lingering on his lips. He sat quickly, intending to pursue the other boy, but as he reached out his hand to push himself up, his hand hit something that seemed out of place on his bed. Turning, Touga saw a piece of paper lying innocently on the pillow next to him, taped to the pill bottle that had been instrumental in creating the understanding between Ruka and himself. He picked the paper up, straining to read the few short words written upon it. When he had finished, he closed his eyes, falling back against the mattress. Reaching out, he blindly pulled a pillow to himself and wrapped his body around it. His heart ached again, whatever fantasy of happiness he had formed for himself shattered by Ruka’s departure. He had no regrets, but Ruka had blasted open a part of his heart that he’d hoped never to feel again. Dimly, Touga realized that what had begun as a conquest for Ruka’s body had ended in a temporary exchange of souls. What Touga had felt upon unlocking Ruka’s heart would haunt him for years to come.


A few feet down the hall, Ruka leaned against the wall, shivering from more than the cold. He felt bad about abandoning Touga without a word, but understood that it was the best way for them to part. The words they would have been forced to say upon waking would have served only to cheapen what had happened between them, as they would have both tried desperately to make it seem less. It was best that he leave without speaking. He hoped that the hastily scribbled note would serve to express everything he wanted to say to Touga. The redhead had not only served to provide a buffer against his pain, but had opened a part of him that Ruka knew he would need to face Utena; to stand next to Juri and throw his whole heart into the impossible task of helping her obtain her miracle.


Still, as he walked away from Touga’s room, Ruka couldn’t block the raw ache in his heart, the hurt only intensified by the echo of his footfalls in the empty hallway. He stopped in his room only long enough to grab a towel before continued down the hallway to the still-empty shower room. Turning the hot water up as far as it would go, Ruka stepped into the stall, leaning his head against the cold porcelain as the burning liquid beat against his back. The water, as it cascaded down his face, served as an unsatisfying substitute for the tears Ruka couldn’t allow himself to shed.