Scorpio
3
They had never been on bad terms, but now they somehow avoided each other. Now there were no more long conversations about the cosmos, or the duties of a Saint. It was no longer a common sight to see them walking in the grove, speaking about Athena or Saori, who despite being one and the same person, was as much for Jabu as for Milo, two separate people.
And Milo who was the more reticent of the two to speak with the other. Jabu was the same that he had ever been. His sarcasm and irony remained intact, although the sparkle in his eyes seemed to have lost some of its lustre. Milo had become more indifferent since Clytus’ return, and that puzzled him. Jabu could see how the older man spent all his time closed away in the main chamber, meditation, which struck him as odd, given the problems that existed between Athena and him. He had never seen him so committed to his worship of the Goddess, and that situation was something he was not quite sure he could come to understand.
Clytus observed all this in silence. He saw them come closer and then move apart without knowing how to react to the presence of the other. Then one day, an emissary of Athena’s arrived at the cottage. The Goddess required Milo’s presence, and according to her instructions, it was to coincide with the next moon, in a couple of days. The squire received the message, conversing in a pleasant way with the youth from Sanctuary, before making his way into the dwelling to speak to Milo. That day Jabu had decided to stay upstairs reading; he had already returned to his own room and everything seemed to be going exceedingly well.
“Milo.” Said the young fellow as he entered the room. The sweet scent of incense filled the chamber, and the only light, which came from a small fire lit in Athena’s honour, illuminated the Scorpion Saint’s silhouette. His eyes were closed and his expression, tranquil. His chest rose and fell in perfect harmony; on seeing which, Clytus smiled slightly; “Athena requires your presence in Sanctuary; in two days, according to her emissary.”
Milo did not respond. The man opened his eyes and looked at him closely. Did he know, by chance of the doubts that filled his heart and of the new hope that seemed to fill him now?
“Master...”
“No... Clytus... please.” The servant saw how his Master’s composure broke, and felt him seek comfort in his arms. “Today I need you to be my fortitude.”
Clytus bowed low, and opened his arms to accept Milo between them. The Scorpion’s back corresponded perfectly to his chest. His left arm encircled the other, while his right hand stroked the hair which fell across his face.
“Talk to your Clytus, Milo; I am here for you. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you so devoted to the Goddess.”
“I am afraid; besides... even sinners like me need someone stronger than ourselves.” Was all he said before silence engulfed him. He knew that he was opening up again, and to many things. To feel, to talk, and as he made himself comfortable between those protecting arms, Milo knew that he would always be able to speak to him. “Did you know that he did not let Camus come near me?”
“Who is he, Milo?” When no response came, Clytus continued, “you’re afraid to let yourself feel, that he might feel something for you; Camus has left you so wounded that now you don’t dare to get close to anyone; let alone anyone who has shown you respect and affection.”
Milo broke the embrace and turned to face him, unable to say anything; realising fully well that what the other was saying was the truth.
“Milo.”
“I don’t want to hurt him. I know myself, I know that when he speaks fondly to me again, that I will fall at his feet. By Athena, Clytus...” Milo fell to his knees again. “If Camus ever came back into my life, I don’t know how I would react; I have loved him for years, I have almost cried tears of blood for our story, and now...”
“Jabu comes into your life, and he fills you the way Camus never could.”
“You always hated him, Clytus.”
“Never; just this... I have never been able to stand the state he left you in, or the state you left him in... What are you so surprised at, do you think that squires don’t talk among themselves? I always knew the consequences of your relationship; that’s how I know why he could not go back to you. His shame and pain were great... and yours, my dear friend, were greater.”
“Silence!”
“And now I see you, Milo. You look at him, and your gaze is serene, I sense no inner conflict in you, I see you as you were before you Aquarius and I believe that if, in truth, your heart awakens, then you should give yourself a chance.”
“I don’t want to hurt him... I don’t want to fill myself with false expectations... I don’t want to...”
“Suffer? Suffering is inevitable when one loves.”
“What do you know about love?!”
“Too much.” He responded, his voice almost a whisper.
“Doesn’t my opinion count for anything? Or is it that around here other peoples’ lives are planned out without their knowledge or consent?” Jabu spoke slowly and calmly. Milo and Clytus stood up immediately, wiping away any trace of a tear that might have started to course down their cheeks.
“You should limit yourself to your own affairs, Jabu; not other people’s”
“If I am included in your conversation, it then becomes my affair.” He replied crossing the threshold and stepping into the chamber.
“But...?”
“And I’ll tell you something else, it was me who stopped Camus from getting to you. This most definitely is my affair.”
In silence, Clytus left the chamber, leaving them alone so that they could talk.
Silence prevailed in the chamber. Milo had moved to sit by one of the windows... It was a quirk of his. Sidestep those who sought to trap him in an awkward situation and remain silent, searching for some form of escape.
Jabu, on the other hand, had remained by the door, closing it behind him. Clytus had just left, and at the very least, this was the moment he had been waiting days for. He needed to get things straight so as to know which way to go. He did not want to keep playing cat and mouse; much less with the man who was showing him his way into Saori’s service.
The boy crossed the room to where the other was sitting. Milo could feel him walking and hear his footsteps; from the window he could also see Clytus in the distance, walking away from the cottage, apparently heading for the beach; and he knew that for now at least, they were alone. He did not know what to say when Jabu appeared at his side, the only thing he could do when he turned to face him was to look at him closely.
“You shouldn’t have listened to that conversation... not...”
“How can you be so blind, Milo?”
The man just kept looking up at him... Jabu seemed so sure of himself— so— different to him, who for a moment had lost all self—confidence.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Jabu.” He said, trying to stand up, but the other impeded his movement; until finally making him sit again.
“You…” Jabu started, caressing Milo’s cheek delicately with the back of his hand, at which the other closed his eyes; seeking the touch of that hand. “You are beautiful, Milo.”
“I don’t want to be wrong again, and drag you down with me.” Milo confessed, this time looking him in the eyes; unable to understand the look that Jabu gave him.
“I want to feel it, to know what it is that makes Camus act like a child around you... I want you to show me, Master.” When these words were pronounced, something awoke in Milo, something that made him want to run from the place. To forget everything and everyone; to go away to a place where no one could ever find him and where he could be at peace. But it was not until Jabu sat on Milo’s legs and embraced him, leaning so close to him that their lips could almost touch, that Milo felt he did not need to go anywhere; that he was already in that place.
“And what if it doesn’t work out, Jabu? What then?”
“Then we will continue to be Master and apprentice, because we will have survived each others’ venom and we’ll get on with our lives.”
Milo nodded before drawing him to his body, kissing him with fervour. The touch of their lips, of their skin, caused all that they had repressed for such a long time to be unleashed. It was the need for the other’s touch. To feel the emotions that the other did not care to conceal any longer.
Jabu took him by the hand, leading him through the cottage and up the stairs to the chamber where he himself had slept until recently. Milo followed, observing every move he made. The cadence with which he moved. The slight swaying of the other’s brown hair, which seemed longer day—by—day seemed to hypnotise him, so that he hardly knew what he was doing.
In the chamber Jabu embraced him, holding him tight, and as he was a little shorter than Milo, he took the liberty of running his hands over the other’s back, but this time he did not hold back upon reaching his hips; on the contrary. He let his hands continue their course freely, while the other devoted his attention to playing with his neck.
There was not a moment’s rest for them. Jabu dedicated himself to exploring Milo’s body. Getting to know every line of his being. Getting to know what he liked being done to him, or how he liked being touched. The youth observed how he trembled under a caress, or one of his kisses, memorizing the sensitive points of his body. Milo, on the other hand, delighted in every caress which he was offered, without repressing his feelings. He gasped and moaned when he felt such pleasures. He even took hold of Jabu’s hair, establishing the rhythm so that the other would take him. That night Milo had yielded unto his apprentice more than he had yielded in many a year with someone else.
He could not hold back when Jabu entered him. It was his night, he would allow him to take him that way... that it should be he who marked their rhythm. He would dance to the tune of the other. All this because he knew that he was falling in love, and that he was lost.
Jabu relished Milo’s succumbing like he had never relished anything in his life. He was putting everything on the line for him. He knew in that moment that the Scorpion was at his mercy, and that he did it all voluntarily. Just as he did. He forgot about the whole world. About those who had underrated him. About Saori and his Bronze Saint Comrades. Here he was, apprentice to a Gold Saint, loving and being loved by his master. And he allowed himself to be happy.