Eden

~*~


Self-Induced High


Summary: Recollection can be such a potent thing.


Disclaimer: I don't own Yami no Matsuei. I have nothing to do with it. I believe that if I did, I'd be typing this all out on a much better computer, not to mention Muraki would have already won Tsuzuki's heart without all the complications. -.-


A note: Thank you all for the reviews! =D Life has been incredible lately, and you all just give me such an ego-boost. Thank you again!

Jollyolly, you were the first to really provoke me to continue this story. I owe you a lot of thanks. =D
Wetheril, my main work is Muraki/Tsuzuki pairing. I'm glad to hear I do it well!
L.G.D., I'm glad it had such an impact. =) I try.
Shadow Raven, I generally keep the smutty scenes on the long and sensual side. So get ready for more!
Lissy, it's definitely a nice thing to hear I haven't gone totally OOC with the boys. That's what I worry most about doing.
DarkLadyD... o.O I shall definitely keep my updates somewhat close together. Although, having someone camp outside my window sounds fun. =D
Quinta Essentia, if I do well with this little series, I hope to do more. I love Muraki/Tsuzuki action! Glad to hear I satisfy!
Shu-chan... Just... Yeah, let's face it. You give me some damn good ideas.

All of you are great. Really. The emails are so reassuring and your reviews just give me the fuel to keep this up. Keep checking for updates, the real fun is yet to come!


~*~


I would die for you
I would die for you
I've been dying just to feel you by my side
To know that you're mine

I will cry for you
I will cry for you
I will wash away your pain with all my tears
And drown your fear

I will pray for you
I will pray for you
I will sell my soul for something pure and true
Someone like you

See your face every place that I walk in
Hear your voice everytime that I'm talkin'
You will believe in me
And I will never be ignored

I will burn for you
Feel pain for you
I will twist a knife and bleed my aching heart
And tear it apart

I will lie for you
Beg and steal for you
I will crawl on hands and knees until you see
You're just like me

Violate all the love that I'm missin'
Throw away all the pain that I'm livin'
You will believe in me
And I can never be ignored


~*~


The platinum blonde doctor kept himself composed as usual as he shuffled around his bedroom in preparation. The sun was just beginning to fall from the sky, he could see that clearly through the windowpane which sat in the middle of the room.

"Hm."

It was late afternoon. He had plenty of time to get himself ready. In keeping to his word, he had pushed his longing to take Tsuzuki into his arms again within the far corner of his mind, and set his sights firmly on entertaining him as his guest.

Muraki stole a glance over to the right. The entrance to his lavish bathroom was calling him. Looking back over to the wall by which the wardrobe stood, he decided to make it all the more easier on himself. Heading to the left, he went searching through the wardrobe for the evening's attire.

He always spent a little time grooming himself before he met with someone important, but with Tsuzuki, he would pull out all the stops. A shower, a dash of cologne, a suit he had just gotten pressed; that was his well-thought agenda. He plucked up the jacket, slacks, and white undershirt by their hangers and shut the mahogany doors.

Perfect. A smile graced his pale features.

Lazy that particular morning, he had neglected to change into anything besides what he had wore the night before; a black suit with a white shirt. Today, he planned to wear something to the contrast. Stark ivory was the color of his jacket, along with matching trousers, whereas the shirt he would wear beneath was black as night.

It was sort of metaphoric, actually.

As he meticulously laid out his clothes, he couldn't help but wonder why Tsuzuki had given into him so easily. Fear, maybe? His eyebrow furrowed. Anyone else on the planet was welcome to fear him, he had no objections to that. For all he cared, everyone else could recoil from him as if he carried the Plague.

Tsuzuki was an exception.

He sighed softly, seating himself upon the chair just beside his bed, and went to work at untying his shoelaces.

"I suppose they're more than correct in saying that "love" can make one go mad."

He chuckled. The thought was so foreign, so out of the ordinary, so incredibly farfetched that he simply loved it.

"But I do. I do love him..."

How often had he had this conversation with himself? So many times before, and every time, he found himself missing his beloved little shinigami more and more. His small grin remained intact as he finished kicking off his shoes, nudging them to sit neatly at his bedside. He proceeded to remove his socks and outer jacket, all the while looking over to the doorway. Locked, of course, but he could already see Tsuzuki walking through the door. His tie came off rather easily, he found, and tossed it away.

Did he know at all that beneath his hardened shell, he truly did feel for him? He wondered this so often in recent days, even more so after their steamy encounter the night prior. Tsuzuki had accepted the defeat of the doctor's card game; he never reneged on a promise or a bet, and Muraki had gotten what he wanted out of it. Well, at least somewhat. He had gotten the purple-eyed beauty to give in to physical pleasure, but regardless, the doctor still felt empty; hollow, the way he had been since he'd witnessed his parents' brutal murder.

Dismissing his contemplation as best he could, he rose from his seat and headed into his bathroom. The room was decorated in his beloved white, though it had its splashes of color to give the four walls their vibrance; a little blue here, a little green there. The sink had a nautical look to it, what with the shell-shaped sink and all. The floor tiles Muraki crossed in order to step towards the shower contrasted everything, for they were all pitch black, simply rimmed in silver.

The doctor cracked open the clear glass door and reached in to spin the spiral faucet around, turning on the hot water tap. His arm didn't move fast enough, and was the victim of the near-scalding water which rained down from the shower-head. Muraki was unfazed. He rather enjoyed the hot water. Nonetheless, he turned the knob of the cold water just a little. Flicking his fingers through the steaming water, he checked to see that it was satisfactory. Indeed, it was. Searingly hot, though not overly so.

His pale fingers first dragged the twin sheets of glass away from his eyes, setting them down upon the marble countertop. Unbuttoning his white dress shirt, he kicked the bathroom door shut. Even now, as he prepared for Tsuzuki's arrival, he could feel the shinigami changing him from the outside in. He wasn't sure if he should be frightened or pleased. Frightened came first, however, as he tossed away the white material. It was rejection that frightened him.

He may have been a psychopath, but he was also a prime example of how love can change a person, if only just, and for once in his life, he had no intention of using brute force.

It was then that his contempation arose once again.

Why is he giving me this chance...?

Why, indeed? That boy he always had tagging along with him was enough to make his stomach churn. Whether the emerald-eyed teen would ever admit it, Muraki could sense the emotion he held for his shinigami. His shinigami. The kid was constantly in Tsuzuki's space, and always in Muraki's way.

"Always," he muttered in disgust as he unzipped his fly and kicked away the slacks. He never had any real need for underclothes, so he stepped into the already steaming shower, and shut the glass door.

His body was greeted with the piercing needles in the form of raining water. Just the way he liked it. He dipped his head beneath the water, sliding his hand back through the soft, silver strands in order to spread the moisture. He found himself losing his train of logical thought as his eyes closed, and he only saw one thing through the blackness.

Tsuzuki. His beautiful Tsuzuki. Not twenty-four hours before, he'd had him on his bed, twisting and writhing in delicious ecstacy, and the thought was as clear then as it was before. His flesh was fair; not entirely devoid of color, but not drenched in a tan, not to mention incredibly gorgeous when decorated with a thin sheen of sweat. He replayed their passionate evening frame by frame, second by second, moan by agonizingly beautiful moan.

The waves of steaming water ran down his muscled body, wave after wave, soaking every inch of his skin. It only served to heighten the memory of his beloved Guardian. Noone could truly appreciate a beauty like Asato Tsuzuki. Not like he could, not like Muraki did. He was so exotically sensual that the doctor could only assume that he wasn't aware of just how much sex appeal he possessed.

He quickly reminded himself that it wasn't just his sex appeal that he was in love with.

But that was beside the point at the moment. Muraki quickly discovered that he had a bigger problem.

The heat from the shower made it almost impossible to distinguish simply by feel, though in opening his silver eyes, the doctor became aware that in his reminiscing, he'd gained quite an arousal.

Fuck.

"You see what you do to me, Tsuzuki?" he amused himself by asking the steam-fogged air.

Heaving a breath, he lulled his head back a little, allowing his throat to be directly exposed to the hot water while his hand slithered down the front of his shoulder and over his chest. He supposed that it would be easier to keep his promise to Tsuzuki about no expectancies if he quenched his thirst now.

Expertly, he ran the tips of his fingers and crescent fingernails over his nipple, coaxing the nub to harden beneath his stimulation. His own small ministration elicited a mild sigh of content. His opposing hand ran down his washboard abdomen, caressing the junction of his hipbone and his thigh to tease himself. Fortunately, he had a lot of patience. He could only imagine it was Tsuzuki who was touching him like this. In his mind, it was Tsuzuki fondling his nipple, and it was Tsuzuki who had the wandering hand.

He rested his head forward against the shower wall, diverting his skull from the water's flow by doing so, and instead allowing it to trickle down his back. His eyelids slid shut as he proceeded, circling the sensitive patch of flesh upon his torso to heighten his arousal. All the while, he kept the other hand busy, slowly bringing himself to wrap his slender fingers around the hardened shaft. The simple grope caused a small moan of pleasure from the doctor. The blood was already pumping in all the right places, and the steaming hot water added to his pleasure. At the same time he began to stroke himself, he administered a sharp pinch to his tender nipple, and he hissed briefly.

Pain and pleasure commonly walked hand and hand with him.

"Tsuzuki..." he softly breathed his name as he visualized his beloved in the shower walls with him, giving him the pleasure that he, himself was doting.

He began to pump his hand a little faster, abandoning his erect nipple in order to finger back through his dripping hair. Once a mild sensation snaked up his spine, he instead placed his free palm against the wall of the shower to keep himself balanced. He curled his fingers tighter, his eyelids in a slight pinch to shut, his breath quickening to something more of a pant.

The tunnel he had created to thrust his erection within had escalated to something almost painful, but painfully tight in the manner that he was quickly reminded of Tsuzuki's clinching heat. The same heat that was recreated with the scalding hot water, which seemed to be boiling over more and more by the nano-second. It was a recreation of thrusting deep within Tsuzuki's vice-grip, pleasuring the doctor in a way he had never been pleasured before.

He could clearly see it now; holding the brunette tightly to the shower wall, his slenderly muscled legs wrapped around his own chiseled chest, allowing him to grind as deeply as he could within the sanctuary of his body. Muraki could hear him moaning, he could hear him screaming for more. What he didn't realize was that it was he who was making the noise.

"Fuck... Tsuzuki..." he had lost all grace in murmuring curse after curse in the midst of his self-induced high. Moans left his throat in chains and he picked up his pace, thrusting repeatedly into his hand and curling his nails into the tile.

"Kami-sama..."

He threw his head back, once more wetting his silver hair with the torrents of boiling-hot liquid.

"Tsuzuki... My Tsuzuki..."

He moaned the name over and over, gritting his teeth and riding through each jolt that ran up his back in electric currents, panting rawly through it all. He was close, he could feel it. He could feel the urgency rushing through his body like there was no tomorrow, and he desperately worked his length.

The stimulus finally became too much to bear, and his forehead came right back down to the tile. Scratching at the wall only briefly, his pumping motions were becoming enough to put any man to shame. His lips remained parted as he groaned heavily into the air, bucking his hips wildly into his hand as he cried his beloved's name a final time, "Tsuzuki...!"

Finally, he achieved his orgasm.

The evidence of his release, in the form of milky white fluid, was washed away by the streams of hot water in mere moments of appearing. He was reduced to panting like a canine, his ribs stretching and compacting almost painfully in the aftermath of his pleasure. Slowly, he removed his hand, and he began to slip from his standing position, and he instead crouched down within the four walls of the shower. He couldn't stand properly, not after all that. It would take a minute to compose himself, at least.

Opening his eyes, he gazed upon the white floor of the shower as the water spiralled down the drain, lost in the sensation of bliss and sudden longing for Tsuzuki's presence.

"I love you..."


~*~


I will die for you
I will kill for you
I will steal for you
I'd do time for you
I will wait for you
I'd make room for you
I'd sail ships for you
To be close to you
To be part of you
As I believe in you
I believe in you
I would die for you


~*~


Oh, I had to get that out of my system so badly. Wanna see more? =D My ideas are never-ending for the upcoming chapter. I guarantee a lemon. I guarantee it, I say!

Keep the reviews coming! Emails, too! More to come!