Too Much
folder
Gravitation › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
6
Views:
4,407
Reviews:
22
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Gravitation › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
6
Views:
4,407
Reviews:
22
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Gravitation, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
I was prying too much to care
Disclaimers: I do not own “Gravitation.”
A/N: Thanks go to Enzeru and mystice, my first two reviewers ever on AFF. For their kind words, I’ve decided to continue this story, but I don’t know when it’ll end. Maybe this chapter, maybe not. I’ll let you know when I do. ;D Now, on to chapter 3! Seguchi POV, flashback in italics.
~*~
Chapter 3: I was prying too much to care
~*~
I just wanted you to leave him alone. He seemed to decline in health with you around. The stress you put him under, the situations he found himself in because of you, all this conspired against him getting better. Six years had gone by with him being cold and closed off, but at least he wasn’t in pain.
Or so I thought. Now I watch him as they rush you into the emergency room. He’s turned back into that fragile, scared sixteen year old from long ago. Except…he looks so much more scared than he did then. He looks not like he’ll break if touched, but like he’ll shatter. And now I find myself thinking, what if he was happy? What if under all the stress and anger and confusion, he was actually quite happy? Does he love you after all? Did my prying in his life do nothing more than ruin it more?
God, what have I done?
>*<
“You called me, Seguchi-san?”
“Yes, Shindou. I understand we’ve had this talk before, but I want you to grasp what I’m saying this time. Leave Eiri. You’re killing him. If you really love him, you’d want him to live without you rather than die with you. Leave.”
“What are you talking about?! Yuki’s fine! I will not leave him. I love him! There’s nothing you can say that will make me do anything of the sort!”
“Leave him or I will terminate Bad Luck’s contract, as well as make it impossible for you to be picked up by any other label.”
“I don’t care! I won’t leave Yuki!”
“You don’t care? Well, that’s all fine and good for you. But what about Hiro? How many times have you had the fate of this band in your hands to do with as you please without one thought to the other members of the band? You only think about yourself! Think about your band mates! Think about your family! What must they think about the son that gave up school for a band that really had no hope, the son who comes out to the entire nation that he’s in a gay relationship with a man who’s been known to sleep with women only?”
>*<
That had given you pause. You had actually stopped and thought. I remember seeing your eyes glaze over, the light that was always, *always* there fade. And I was too mad to care, to realize. God, this is my fault.
What would Eiri think if he were to know this was all my fault? Every time he found out about something I did to keep him and you apart, he’d get so angry. But I’d just smile because I knew he wouldn’t do anything to me.
But now that you’re fighting for your life, threatening to plunge Eiri into a new and blacker world of darkness, would he hold back? Would he care that Mika is waiting for me at home, with our child? Frankly, I think he’d be far from caring. The one he loves is being taken from him again, and it’s my fault. The man he thought he could trust.
Even if you pull through, I will never forgive myself. No matter how long you have to recover, Bad Luck will stay on with NG. Even if you quit the band, you will still be paid. Whatever you decide to do, stay with Eiri, leave Eiri, I will stay out of it. Even though I know that nothing I do will ever compensate for what I've done.
Mika is always telling me I should concentrate on my own life. That if I didn’t, my life would go spinning out of control. And now, I think it has. Hell, I think it did a long time ago. But…
I was prying too much to care.
A/N: Thanks go to Enzeru and mystice, my first two reviewers ever on AFF. For their kind words, I’ve decided to continue this story, but I don’t know when it’ll end. Maybe this chapter, maybe not. I’ll let you know when I do. ;D Now, on to chapter 3! Seguchi POV, flashback in italics.
~*~
Chapter 3: I was prying too much to care
~*~
I just wanted you to leave him alone. He seemed to decline in health with you around. The stress you put him under, the situations he found himself in because of you, all this conspired against him getting better. Six years had gone by with him being cold and closed off, but at least he wasn’t in pain.
Or so I thought. Now I watch him as they rush you into the emergency room. He’s turned back into that fragile, scared sixteen year old from long ago. Except…he looks so much more scared than he did then. He looks not like he’ll break if touched, but like he’ll shatter. And now I find myself thinking, what if he was happy? What if under all the stress and anger and confusion, he was actually quite happy? Does he love you after all? Did my prying in his life do nothing more than ruin it more?
God, what have I done?
>*<
“You called me, Seguchi-san?”
“Yes, Shindou. I understand we’ve had this talk before, but I want you to grasp what I’m saying this time. Leave Eiri. You’re killing him. If you really love him, you’d want him to live without you rather than die with you. Leave.”
“What are you talking about?! Yuki’s fine! I will not leave him. I love him! There’s nothing you can say that will make me do anything of the sort!”
“Leave him or I will terminate Bad Luck’s contract, as well as make it impossible for you to be picked up by any other label.”
“I don’t care! I won’t leave Yuki!”
“You don’t care? Well, that’s all fine and good for you. But what about Hiro? How many times have you had the fate of this band in your hands to do with as you please without one thought to the other members of the band? You only think about yourself! Think about your band mates! Think about your family! What must they think about the son that gave up school for a band that really had no hope, the son who comes out to the entire nation that he’s in a gay relationship with a man who’s been known to sleep with women only?”
>*<
That had given you pause. You had actually stopped and thought. I remember seeing your eyes glaze over, the light that was always, *always* there fade. And I was too mad to care, to realize. God, this is my fault.
What would Eiri think if he were to know this was all my fault? Every time he found out about something I did to keep him and you apart, he’d get so angry. But I’d just smile because I knew he wouldn’t do anything to me.
But now that you’re fighting for your life, threatening to plunge Eiri into a new and blacker world of darkness, would he hold back? Would he care that Mika is waiting for me at home, with our child? Frankly, I think he’d be far from caring. The one he loves is being taken from him again, and it’s my fault. The man he thought he could trust.
Even if you pull through, I will never forgive myself. No matter how long you have to recover, Bad Luck will stay on with NG. Even if you quit the band, you will still be paid. Whatever you decide to do, stay with Eiri, leave Eiri, I will stay out of it. Even though I know that nothing I do will ever compensate for what I've done.
Mika is always telling me I should concentrate on my own life. That if I didn’t, my life would go spinning out of control. And now, I think it has. Hell, I think it did a long time ago. But…
I was prying too much to care.