Only His

Chapter 2: Double Edged Blade


“What do you mean I can’t go?” Seras was close to tears.
“I am sorry Seras” Integra said, not sounding very sorry at all “But I have said I cannot and will not have a half starved vampire in my ranks! Until you begin to drink your blood, you stay here”.

Rubbing her eyes furiously in an attempt not to cry right there in front of Ice Queen, Seras opened her mouth to argue again, but Sir Hellsing held up one delicate hand.
“I will brook no arguments!” She snapped “As soon as you start behaving like a normal vampire, I will start letting you out on missions again.” That feminine hand that commanded her Master, the one that was holding a cigar more often than not waved her away in a gesture of almost contempt. Almost, but not quite.

Seras almost stamped her foot. Almost, but not quite. She did, however snap over her shoulder as she huffily departed the other woman’s office: “You are beginning to sound like my Master!”

Integra watched as Seras Victoria shut the door with a little more force than necessary, but didn’t quite slam it. She pursed her perfect lips, and then twisted them into an almost smile. “I deem that an almost compliment” She said quietly, lighting one of her much prized cigars and drawing the smoke into her mouth with a look of mild pleasure, “Almost, but not quite.”

Seras however, didn’t hear this, as she was much too busy storming back to her room wiping tears that threatened to fall down her cheeks with the back of one gloved hand.
She was never very good at keeping her composure, but she steadfastly refused to cry in front of everyone else in the building. Once she was inside her room however, it was a different matter entirely. Slamming the door without fear of repercussion from the leader of the Hellsing organization, she slid down the heavy oak and gave her body over to racking sobs that threatened to engulf her.

This was entirely unfair. She wasn’t incapable or incompetent, even though she was ‘half starved’, as Sir Hellsing put it. She was one of the best damn people Integra had and they both knew it! Well…not exactly person. Seras giggled wetly at her own thoughts, tears still streaming down her soft cheeks. Exhaustedly she crawled into bed. The feathers were gone, as were the cobwebs, and on the table sat the customary blood pack, and a new pillow was underneath her face, absorbing the moisture on her cheeks at this very moment.

Obviously Walter had been in when she was out training. She knew he was probably sulking about the mess as he made Integra her customary cup of exotic tea. Seras added that to her growing list of the bad things that were invading her day.

She can’t believe that dragon was seriously going to coop her up in this house until she began ‘behaving’! It was ludicrous! It was an outrage! Seras didn’t know a lot, but she knew she wasn’t going to stand for this! She was going out on this mission – whether Integra liked it or not. Well, she quickly amended her thoughts, she wouldn’t go on the mission, but she was definitely going out!

Integra said “As soon as you start behaving like a normal vampire, I will start letting you out on missions again”, she didn’t say “As soon as you start behaving like a normal vampire, I will let you out again.”
She wasn’t exactly going against orders now, was she? Integra said absolutely nothing about not going out for a stroll. Empowered by her new sense of victory, Seras quickly dressed in civvies – fashionable sunglasses (To hide her eyes), a simple tank top, dark green skirt and long boots, and then grabbed a warm jacket as an afterthought. It could be chilly outside, and in as much as the cold didn’t bother her overly much, she still preferred to be warm.

She peeked outside her door warily, keeping a watchful eye out for Walter, who, in the sour mood he would be in with her, probably wouldn’t hesitate to tell Integra that one of her vampires was escaping. When she finally decided that the coast was clear, she tiptoed down the corridor and out into a rather large room.
After that Seras got a little lost. It turns out that the door she thought was the outside door led into a rather interesting room full of interesting books and other assortments. She happily nosed around there for a little while before remembering that she was supposed to be sneaking out. Exiting what she dubbed “The Room Full of Cool Stuff” and making a mental note to visit it later when she had spare time, Seras wandered around for a little while, before eventually finding the door that led to outside.

Freedom! She now knew how a Jew that had escaped Auschwitz must have felt. Navigating quickly out of the rather ostentatious and oversized driveway, Seras Victoria made a very speedy getaway into the brush.

*****

The city was dank and dirty, but Seras could not have cared less. She was out, she was away from her Master and Ice Queen and the homicidal man with the monocle, and every breath of smog filled air was as sweet as if it was from the mountains. A silly grin had attached itself to her face and was steadfastly refusing to get off. She explored the back alleys of the dirtiest parts of London with all the abandon of a child in a candy store. Her footsteps echoed loudly in those tiny, crooked little cobbled streets, avoiding garbage deftly as she wandered curiously.

Briefly, Seras wondered what would happen when she got back from her little escapade. She would be in trouble, she knew. Irritably, she pushed the thought from her mind and instead focused upon a rather interesting old man rambling on a street corner.

After a little while, she got bored of him shrieking about Satan and other assorted religious shenanigans, so she wandered walked off, admiring the houses that rose up from the dull concrete all around her. A sudden movement next to a fallen trash can caught her eye, and she turned her red gaze to a small, rather furry shape forlornly poking at what appeared to be a rotten fish head. It certainly smelled like it. She took a step closer and the furry thing snapped its head up warily, revealing rather feline features in a gaunt face.

It was a cat.

And from the look of it, a rather hungry one.
Its ribs were visible through the matted fur and its eyes shone with a fervour born of near starvation. Its patchy coat was smeared in clotting blood from a recent fight (Probably for the fish head) and scarred from a dozen others. Seras’ heart went out to the poor thing. She crouched down slowly, careful not to scare it. It flinched, but was unwilling to leave its hard won prize.

Baring its teeth in a snarl, it warned her away, as if she really wanted to steal the thing’s oh-so-delightful meal away from it.

After edging a little closer, and getting nothing for her troubles except a flash of teeth and a slight edging away, the cogs of Seras’ mind began moving, and she whispered “I will be back soon, little one.” It rumbled dangerously in reply, and she snorted. That little cat couldn’t scare her, she’s faced worse things than an angry little ball of mangy fluff! She traipsed happily off and found one of those dodgy 24/7 stores she had passed not a minute before and bought some incredibly overpriced cat food. Seras then hurried back, praying that the little bastard hadn’t nicked off and cost her 3 pounds.

Thankfully the thing was still there, and she opened the can gently and, crouching down, offered it to the young cat.

Its ears perked up – whatever processed stuff that was in the can seemed a lot more appetising than the maggot infested scraps of flesh and bone that was once the head of a very large fish (but now just a maggot infested heap). It crept warily towards Seras and her prize, stopping every so often to glare at her, as if to say that in as much as the food was appreciated, her company wasn’t, so she ought to nick off before she got a face full of furred fury.
Ignoring the warning, the young vampire murmured soothing nonsense to the thing, until it got to the food, and after another wrathful, yet not very intimidating glare, it bent its head to the can, and began to wolf down the contents.

Seras watched it for a while with a sense of triumph, and gently began to stroke its back. It was rough to the touch, and mildly revolting, but the blonde didn’t care – the sense of victory was on her tongue and nothing could change her mood.
Well, except for that extremely familiar chuckle that caused her to jump and the cat to hiss and streak off into the nearby alleyway.

Seras whirled around in irritability, and gave the source of her indignation a glare that would freeze any mortal man. Unfortunately, her Master was no mortal and this glare, as fearsome as it may be, really had very little effect on the Vampire.
“I see you have made a new friend, Police Girl.” He murmured softly, His glasses reflecting the light of the streetlamp above His head.
“Well I was trying to, but You scared him away!” She groused.
“Well, I am a scary sort. Or have you not yet discovered that for yourself?”
She ignored His jibe, and instead, accused Him of being unfair.

“I am not here to be fair, Police Girl.” He replied flatly “I am here because I couldn’t find you in the house. Why are you here, befriending stray cats? Do you really miss company so much?”
“It’s not that, Master! …I saw it trying to eat a fish head, and I felt sorry for the poor thing”
“Sympathy is a human emotion. You disappoint me, Police Girl”
That hurt, and in anger, she retaliated, even though she knew she shouldn’t have.
“Oh, so You want me to become like You! What was I supposed to do – kill it? Just because I am no longer human does not mean I can’t have a little human compassion! I am not like You, ‘Master’! She spat.

He bared His teeth, in a smile or a grimace, she didn’t know, but she knew when He grabbed her upper arms that His claws were very sharp. To her own credit she didn’t cry out, but she hissed in pain when they pierced her jacket and flesh. The blood welled from the wounds and trickled slowly down the fabric, making it wet and sticky.
He lowered His head, almost nose to nose with her, and hissed “My little kitten has claws, I see. Unfortunately she has found that her Master does as well, and they hurt a lot more than hers. Isn’t that right Police Girl?”

Whimpering, she nodded.
Do not ever disrespect me again, or you will feel pain beyond any you have ever experienced before.” He warned.
She wholeheartedly believed Him, and swallowing her fear, whispered “Yes Master, I apologise.”

He watched her face intently for a moment, whilst she memorised the folds in His lapels. She couldn’t meet His eyes.
Finally, He chuckled. “Are you scared of looking into my eyes, Police Girl? Are you afraid of the monster you know you will find? Or is it something else…?”
In truth, the monster didn’t scare her, it aroused something else, and that was what she feared. He took off His glasses, and she knew she was done.
“Look into my eyes, little kitten.”

And helplessly, she did. It was blood in His eyes she saw, and her breathing came faster. She saw carnage, she saw blood, she saw retribution and power. His power over her, and above it all there was an overpowering sensuality, something that promised great pain, and greater pleasure. It took her breath away and sent a feeling to the pit of her stomach that she couldn’t quite shake.

He grinned, as if he knew the effect He had upon her. His fangs slipped over the top of His lips and gently, knowing she was watching Him, lifted His hand smeared in her blood and sensuously, slowly, licked it. She couldn’t help it, the sight sent excitement through her and she moaned slightly, and He grinned wider and chuckled.

“Who knew you were so…passionate, Police Girl?”

Humiliation coursed through her and she tried to duck her head away from His mesmerising eyes, to control her reaction to Him, but He caught her chin in His hand and forced it back upwards.

“Would you like a taste?” He smirked, knowing well her answer.
‘YES!” Her traitorous mind screamed.
“No!” Was what she forced out.
“Yes, you do” and He smeared her own blood over her lips. Her tongue darted out before she could stop it to steal some of the liquid that covered her lips and half of her cheek. He snickered.

“Now look, you have gone and gotten yourself all dirty.” Her Master tutted in mock disapproval, and slowly licked her cheek. Seras gasped in shock, and a strange sense of pleasure as His cool tongue trailed along her face.

His tongue feels odd, she thought, and then, as the appendage trailed from her cheek to her mouth, she failed to think at all. Disgust and lust attacked her senses in equal measure, their main attack centred down in her abdomen somewhere as He slowly cleaned her trembling lips with that cool, wet tongue of His.
Inadvertently they opened slightly, giving Him access to the recesses hidden behind them, and He took advantage of that. His tongue slipped inside her mouth and explored it. She stood, unable to respond.
She felt repulsed, and strangely, this added to her arousal. Could this truly be her Master? This persistent kiss, that tasted of blood? Yes, it was. She tried to pull away, but one of His hands curled into her hair and gripped it, pulling her head back, dominating her, and she stilled.

Then, it was an explosion.

Her hands clenched the front of His coat and her lips crushed against His. He chuckled in delight as she responded ardently to His kiss, slipping her own tongue into His mouth and exploring. He bit her bottom lip, drawing blood and they both moaned. She pushed herself against Him, submitting to His hard body. This was like no other kiss she had ever experienced. This was everything she desired. She didn’t want to ever to end. And then, it was over. She looked at Him with glazed eyes, unable to fully focus on the fuzzy form above and around her.

“Never lie to me again, Police Girl” the fuzzy form hissed in her ear.

His tone snapped her out of her daze and she felt fear slowly creep back up her spine. He released her then, one hand upon her forearm so she didn’t collapse. After He was sure her knees would not give out on her, He released her and disappeared into the shadows, His voice whispering gleefully into her mind.

“Yes…who knew my little Police Girl could be so…hot-blooded…?”

Without His presence overwhelming her senses, she was able to think straight. What had just happened? For a moment she was sure that it could not have been Him, Alucard. It must have been somebody imitating Him just for the purpose of confusing her. That would have to be it! The real Alucard would not have been so intimate with her!

She even half hoped that that was true, but the traitorous side of her knew it was Him, and was disgustingly elated.
She sat down desolately in the gutter, miserable in her confusion. She couldn’t understand what just happened.
Was He mocking her? Or did He lust for her? It couldn’t be lust; he couldn’t desire her, of all people. She knew her Master wanted Integra, for Integra was strong, powerful, assertive. Everything she was not. Was Seras some kind of substitute for His Mistress? He could not have her, so He settled with Seras instead?

She didn’t understand, what did He want from her? Did he want to humiliate her? Well it worked! She let Him touch her! She let Him put His dirty hands all over her! No, it was worse, she wanted Him to do it. She suddenly felt violently nauseous. In her mind, she was tainted. It was like this after any guy touched her, back when she was human. She had to scrub in the shower for hours. This was worse. She let Him take advantage of her!

She was a filthy little slut. Seras had never hated herself more than that moment. Slut, her mind told her viciously, Slut, slut, slut slut slut!
She hugged her knees, but they were disinterested in hugging her back, so she sunk a little further into self-loathing. She didn’t know how long she sat there, but she was snapped from her thoughts by a piteous sound behind her.

It sounded suspiciously like a meow: a raspy, pitiful thing, but a meow none-the-less.

Seras looked behind her to see the mangy creature she tried to befriend sitting not three feet from her, looking curiously.
Obviously it was still hungry.
She didn’t have any more cat food left, and she told it so. Of course cats don’t really understand human talk, so it merely blinked, and mewled again hopefully. Seras decided to leave. She was in enough trouble as it was; she may as well not make it any worse. She waved a dejected goodbye to the mangy stray – even though it meant very little to the thing, and slowly trudged off. It blinked again.

She briefly considered running away as her feet made a weary trek to the mansion, but rejected the thought almost immediately. She wouldn’t fancy her chances at living long if they decided to hunt her down. A sound stopped her in her tracks. She turned to see that cat had followed her a little. It jumped when she stopped, and glared at her, as if to say that she was ruining its attempt at espionage and it would like very much for her to turn back around and pretend not to notice it following her.

So that was what she did.

Sort of.

She walked a few more steps and then snuck a peek over her shoulder to see if it was still following her. It was. She was surprised. She was so surprised that her misery was almost pushed aside. The poor thing was still so hungry. She started walking again, deciding to take a little detour from the mansion – it would take her all of five minutes, and what was five minutes to someone who can live for eternity?

This detour took her back to the selfsame dodgy 24/7 store to buy some more cat food. The man behind the counter, who had very greasy hair, looked at her oddly, but sold it to her.
Sitting out the front of the store, she was able to coax the cat to sit inside her jacket with a little food, lots of nonsense words and very little scratching.

It seemed a lot longer a walk to the mansion than from it, and when she finally got back, she could sense that dawn was very close. Oh dear, she had been gone a while. She slipped back inside the excessively large ‘house’ and both she and the cat managed to go unnoticed, of which she was thankful. She wandered until she found the stairs that led to the corridor that led to her room – she was still having a little trouble finding her way around the place.

Seras, once in her bedroom, began unzipping her jacket, but the cat complained. It seemed quite comfortable in there, and she was loath to distress it – especially since the animal had its claws quite deep into her side, which was quite uncomfortable and could be quite disastrous if it decided it would love to redesign her tank top. But then again, she really wanted to go to bed…

She finally came to a compromise with the beast, which involved more food, yowling and bloodshed, then a ball of mangy fur hiding underneath the coffin which served as her bed.
Free of her burden, Seras lay there and waited for sleep to claim her, with her thoughts full of miserable cats, angry Hellsing’s and a confusing Master.