The Game of Love

Title: The Game of Love
Author: Despina
Pairing: Gojyo x Hakkai, some Sanzo x Goku
Rating: NC 17
Summary: A series of ‘moments’ between Gojyo and Hakkai. What are they to one another? Confusion, exploration and testing boundaries are necessary in order to find out.


Sorry I took so long – stupid holidays. This chapter really could have used a second pair of eyes on it so I apologize if it has many mistakes. I’m still looking for a Beta. I have two for my Gravitation stuff, so I always feel naked without them.

If you have time and the inclination, please review. I admit it; I’m kind of a whore for them.

Oh, and just to let you know, I have two other chapters in various phases of completion. I’m not sure how many chapters this will be, but I tend to be rather verbose.

Happy New Year, everyone!

The Game of Love

Chapter 3

Hakkai’s breath was hot on Gojyo’s skin as one elegantly long and lubricated finger slipped inside the redhead. Gojyo gasped at the initial intrusion, only to be immediately soothed with loving kisses on his raging hard on. Hakkai was amazingly good at this.

Gojyo opened his crimson eyes to gaze at his partner kneeling between his opened thighs. Hakkai’s fingers and mouth were doing wild and wonderful things to him.

This wasn’t the first time Gojyo had experienced this particular version of sex, but it was the first time he felt secure in allowing it. He prided himself on being open to sexual encounters, but even so, he still preferred to retain a modicum of control. He never truly trusted his partners completely.

Until now.

“Are you ready, Gojyo?” Hakkai asked breathily, his eyes dilated with passion. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

Gojyo smiled in response and held open his arms, urging his lover on. “You won’t. Come on, Hakkai.”

Hakkai moved over the flawlessly toned body and slowly pressed his weeping, slicked-up cock into Gojyo, catching his breath as the marvelously tight heat surrounded him. In response, Gojyo moaned and arched his body, anxiously anticipating Hakkai’s next thrust. Opening his crimson eyes once again, he met Hakkai’s deep green eyes staring back and then…

Gojyo came.

“Damn it,” he panted as his eyes opened for real this time and he reached for the damp towel placed conveniently next to the bed, the towel was for clean up after his self-indulgent fantasy. His very quick fantasy. He found he could never get past Hakkai’s initial stroke and those green eyes before he lost himself to an orgasm. He was weak for those eyes.

Although he was beginning to realize no matter how much he might want Hakkai, his friend did not seem to reciprocate the feelings. Not since the trip to the hot springs, anyway. And when he really thought about it, Gojyo wasn’t sure Hakkai ever had returned his feelings.

It had been more than two weeks since the hot springs – since Hakkai had touched him and Gojyo had completely lost control. Two weeks since that magical night where they had seemed so closed to something that might be considered more than ‘just friends.’ But now Hakkai would barely register Gojyo’s presence when they were in the same room. The half-demon was frustrated, angry and to be perfectly honest, horny as hell.

He would happily go on being pals with his right hand if he could get any indication Hakkai was thinking of him – but instead Hakkai treated Gojyo like… like he treated the monkey and the shitty priest. Hakkai was distantly friendly, but not in the same old sense of roommates or best friends, or even good friends for that matter. There were no genuine smiles, no compassionate looks from the soulful green eyes. Instead he got, “Do you want more coffee, Gojyo?” or; “I hope you slept well, Gojyo.” The redhead might as well be… no one.

Hakkai’s coolness hurt. It hurt so much to be treated the same as Goku and Sanzo and it made Gojyo feel helpless and a little spiteful, especially when Gojyo had seriously been contemplating Hakkai’s razor-tipped challenge about being ‘underneath’. He looked at the moist towel in his hand, okay, he hadn’t just been contemplating Hakkai’s offer, he was fantasizing about it. A lot.

But then, almost immediately after throwing down the gauntlet, Hakkai had turned on the freezing act. At first, Gojyo thought his… friend would snap out of it. But now, after two weeks, he was beginning to doubt Hakkai’s return to normalcy, and Gojyo didn’t like being reduced to the status of less than friends. If their friendship was the cost in order to play the game, well, screw that. He would prefer the caring smiles and kind, concerned words to nothing.

It seemed that Hakkai had buried any memory of the hot springs incident deep in his bottomless pool of denial; possibly, he had erased the memory completely. Ever since that magical night, Hakkai had been sickeningly superficial to his friend, and every false smile aimed at Gojyo was like poison a needle in the redhead’s heart. Gojyo couldn't stomach it anymore. He needed to face the facts at this point; Hakkai felt he had made a mistake by allowing himself to go too far in their teasing game. Gojyo could read reactions well enough to realize Hakkai was uncomfortable with what had happened between them.

Gojyo could understand that. To take their relationship up another notch would require some major lifestyle changes and it was possible Hakkai wasn't as open to the idea as he initially thought. After all, teasing was one thing; actually going through to the next level was something entirely different. Besides, it was likely that Hakkai had simply come to his senses and could once again see Gojyo for what he really was, nothing more than a mangy, stray dog looking for a home.

So, after sulking over the cold shoulder for more than a week, Gojyo had decided that he wanted his friend back. He wanted the close friendship far more than he wanted Hakkai's body. Sighing, he amended the thought in his head. In actuality, he wanted to be both, friends and lovers, but that did not seem to be an option. As difficult and as heartrending as it was, his only alternative was back away in order to remain friends.

That meant Gojyo had to let loose of his fantasies and this would be the last time he allowed himself to indulge in his dreams like this. Besides, there were plenty of willing women in the world; he was certain that after some time passed, he could be content with that once again. Besides, it would be nice to have someone actually register his presence and respond to him, especially in the physical sense. He was a water sprite, after all, what could anyone expect of him?

As he lit a cigarette, he muttered aloud, "Yeah, right."

There was a soft knock at the door and the soft voice followed, “Gojyo?”

“Yeah, come on in,” he reached for the sheet and covered his important parts just as the door opened.

“You really should lock your door. You never know when someone… might…” Hakkai began scolding as he entered the room, only to have his words trail off as he took in Gojyo’s appearance, demeanor and the wet towel nearby.

“I never know when someone might what, Hakkai?” Gojyo asked with a smile and a deep inhale of his cigarette as Hakkai continued to stare at him with a hint of appreciation. Well, maybe Gojyo wouldn’t give up the teasing completely.

“I’m sorry,” Hakkai began as he looked hastily around the room. “Did I interrupt something?”

Gojyo shook his head and gave his friend an even brighter smile. “Nope. It’s just me, myself and I here. But you might have interrupted something if you showed up about five minutes earlier.”

“I see,” Hakkai said quietly, his features completely unreadable.

Suddenly, Gojyo felt as if he had done something wrong. He slid to the edge of the bed and sat up, keeping himself covered. Angry with himself and Hakkai both he asked coolly, “What did you want, Hakkai?”

“Ah,” he answered as the unfathomable smile fell firmly in place. “Would you assist me today with the shopping?”

Shrugging, Gojyo said, “Sure.”

“Good,” Hakkai nodded. “That would be good.”

“It will get me out and about,” Gojyo continued.

“That’s true,” Hakkai agreed. “The fresh air is very beneficial.”

“Very. And maybe I can find a woman,” Gojyo added with a touch of venom in his voice. “I’m tired of me, myself and I, if you know what I mean.”

“Is that so?” Hakkai’s voice remained steady, revealing nothing. “I’m afraid I don’t really know what you mean.”

“Yeah,” Gojyo crushed out his cigarette and met those green eyes. “I thought you might say that.”

“Is there something on your mind, Gojyo?” Hakkai asked solemnly.

He sighed before he answered, “Just the usual, Hakkai. Just the usual.”

“Then I’ll meet you downstairs?”

“Sure.”


The market turned out to be quite large, filling a huge sprawling square. It seemed the Sanzo party had arrived in time for the biggest festival of the year. Vendors filled the square with a multitude of colorful tents offering various foodstuffs, cookware, candles, clothing and jewelry. At the center of the tents were street performers – dancers, magicians, jugglers, and musicians.

Hakkai and Gojyo stopped for a few moments to take some of the many performances and that was when one of the exotic dancers spied the redhead. She mysteriously appeared several times as they wandered through the market, running into him by ‘accident’ again and again. She flirted shamelessly, grabbing his arm and pressing into him, practically rubbing her entire body against him. He accepted the attention, perhaps not as openly as he normally would have due to Hakkai’s presence, but he did accept it. He found he was grateful to her, thankful for a little warmth and kindness and thankful for the soothing balm to his battered ego.

The electricity from her to Gojyo practically crackled through the air. It was as if he unconsciously drew the beautiful dancer to him, like a moth to the flame. It was the same way Gojyo found himself drawn to her, in the wandering, horny, stray dog kind of way. They were lonely, kindred spirits, cut from the same cloth and neither would confuse the attraction for anything other than it was.

Pure lust.

However, their actions could and did confuse others and one other in particular. It also served to remind Hakkai of what he wasn’t. He wasn’t soft and flirtatious, with big brown eyes and a big bosom to match. He wasn’t female.

And neither was Gojyo.

Hakkai finally surrendered his tenuous hold on his roommate’s attention at one of the vendor stands. He looked up from the bin of melons in order to ask Gojyo’s opinion on the fruit only to find that his friend was gone. Glancing around, he spotted the tall redhead with the dancer once again. Her hungry eyes remained fixed on Gojyo, as she lavished her radiant smile on him. Hakkai found he was annoyed with Gojyo’s reciprocation of the smile.

Quickly gathering the melons, he turned away from the upcoming scene. Hakkai had witnessed his roommate’s skilled prowess with women on numerous occasions, but he no longer found it amusing or entertaining. Gojyo’s enthralling courtship dance now only served to create dark and somber emotions in the healer. Hakkai had suspicions as to the reason for his intense feelings, but he wasn’t ready to analyze those emotions too closely as of yet.

He had long ago come to the understanding that denial was a much easier path to walk.

After paying for the fruit, he made a hasty, glowering retreat from the produce stand, trusting Gojyo to remember to bring the remaining items the taller man carried. Hakkai was now alone with only his sullen, dismal mood to keep him company as he made his way to the final stop for supplies, the wine shop.


Lying naked on her side next to him, she propped her head up on her upraised hand and stared at him with those big, beautiful brown eyes. Gojyo realized that she really was stunning and if this had been any other time in his life, she would have had him wrapped around her finger. At least until he tired of her. Or she tired of him. He suspected the two of them were a lot alike.

At the moment he was trying to remember her name. Had she even told it to him?

“You are really good, Gojyo,” she smiled at him sweetly as she drew a pattern on his arm with her free hand. “But I get the feeling that maybe you have another girl on your mind.”

“Not me,” he said honestly and then raised his head slightly to meet her curious stare. “Don’t tell me I disappointed you?”

Laughing, she answered merrily, “Hardly. I’m just trying to figure you out. I guess I expected you to be more on the self-gratifying side of life. It’s rare to find a guy who’s more into giving than receiving.”

“You don’t know the half of it,” he muttered as lay his head back down on the pillow watching as she sat up and reached for the hairbrush on the bedside table. She ran the brush slowly through her amazing chestnut-colored cascade of hair as she continued to stare at him.

She was a skilled lover, vocal, aggressive and a little on the wild side. He absently licked his upper lip savoring her flavor of slightly soured honey; she tasted good, too. She was everything he ever looked for in a bedroom companion. Then why couldn’t he…

It was those damned green eyes. Every time he closed his own eyes, he saw those piercing green eyes, he could hear that silken sigh, he could feel those soothing fingers and he could smell that spicy sent. He licked his lip again and held back a frustrated groan. He didn’t want to taste the sour-honey; he wanted the salty-bitter.

He glanced across the room and spied the bag of groceries he’d been carrying earlier. Sitting up abruptly he said, “Sorry, honey. I’ve got to go.”


Several patrons gathered round two people with a series of glasses lined up before them. On the floor and snoring were five others.

“Hello, my young friend!” A white-haired man sporting an apron greeted Hakkai cheerfully.

“Good afternoon,” Hakkai answered politely with a smile as he took in the scene. He raised an eyebrow as he added, “Ah, I see. You are hosting a drinking game.”

“Indeed we are. Have you come to try your hand?” The man’s blue eyes sparkled with interest. “All are welcome!”

“Oh,” Hakkai was momentarily embarrassed by the question. “Ah, thank you, but no. Not today, I am afraid.”

“Why is that?” One of the nearby patrons asked.

Hakkai turned to answer and came face to face with a tall, handsome man, possibly a few years older than himself. The man also had the same twinkling, mischievous blue eyes of the owner.

“Don’t tell me you are a teetotaler?” the man teased.

Chuckling with his polite laugh, Hakkai replied, “I am afraid I am not a teetotaler, quite the contrary. I seem to have a strong resistance to the effects of alcohol. I fear if I joined in the contest, I would be taking advantage of your generous hospitality.”

“You?” the owner of the establishment said with obvious suspicion. “Excuse me if I seem rude, but you don’t strike me as the type who can hold your liquor. Why, there’s hardly anything to you!”

“Ah well, yes. I do tend to surprise people from time to time,” he smiled again.

“Well, come on and join me, anyway,” the younger man said as he held out his hand. “My name is Lee and I’d like to buy you a drink.”

“Me?” Hakkai blinked with confusion.

“Yes! I can tell you are a traveler and I would like to hear of your adventures.”

Bright blue eyes met troubled dark green and all at once, Hakkai felt very lonely. “Alright, although I must warn you, there is not much to tell in the way of adventures. And my true reason for stopping in this establishment was to fill an order.”

“Do you have a list?” the owner asked. “I can easily get my boys to fill your request and to deliver the goods.”

“Thank you, that would be very kind,” was the sincere answer. Everyone was so nice here; he almost, for a moment, considered staying.

Yet, in spite of the kindness he was given and the quiet, intelligent conversation his new companion offered, Hakkai found himself to be distracted. If you asked people who knew him, they would described the healer as being absent minded and this day did little to discredit the label. Each time he tried to follow his newly acquired friend’s words, his mind would drift to thinking about an irritating roommate with eyes the color of blood, touching and fondling the brown-haired woman who had captured Gojyo’s attention so easily.

“You know,” Lee began softly. “If you sigh any more, I’ll begin to think you are bored.”

“Please forgive my rudeness,” Hakkai apologized with his patented smile. “I am afraid I have been a terrible guest.”

The other man shook his head. “Not at all. But I would be so bold and to offer you a word of advice.”

Hakkai tipped his head as an open invitation for his new friend to continue.

“You should go after her,” Lee said with a wink and a smile.

Tipping his head to one side Hakkai said, “I am sorry, I do not understand. Go after her?”

“Well,” blue eyes sparkled with amusement. “You seem to be suffering from a love dilemma. If you love her so much, maybe you should go after her.”

Smiling wider, the healer’s full attention was now on his companion. “Is that what you see? I had heard rumors that some of the people in this village were born with the ability to ‘read’ people, could you be one of them?”

Lee nodded, “Yes, I have been told I have something of a knack when it comes to reading people, particularly those in distress. You, my friend, are definitely in love, but something holds you back. I see a lot of darkness, sadness, fear and confusion in your aura, but the love stands out, bold and clear. Maybe you should take the bull by the horns and go after what you really want.”

He felt the familiar presence behind him long before Gojyo spoke out, “Yeah, Hakkai. Maybe you should take the bull by the horns.”

“A friend of yours?” Lee asked.

Hakkai nodded and motioned for Gojyo to join them. “Lee, this is Gojyo. Gojyo, this is Lee.”

Gojyo nodded to the other man and then moved behind his friend in order to sit at the table.

Hakkai’s nose twitched as Gojyo passed him. The smell of perfume and sex was overwhelming and his stomach lurched with searing disappointment. Once again, he smiled patiently as he stood up abruptly. “Thank you very much for your hospitality and your wonderful conversation, but I am afraid I am feeling very fatigued all of a sudden. I will take my leave now.”

“You are welcome here anytime, Hakkai. I enjoyed our conversation as well,” Lee’s smile was genuine and true. “And please consider my advice.”

“Ah, yes. Lee-san, I would gladly take you up on your advice, but I am afraid you are completely incorrect about me.” Green eyes shifted from blue eyes and met red eyes as he continued, “There is no one in my life that I feel that way about.”

Turning on his heel, Hakkai left the winery without looking back.

Gojyo was stunned by Hakkai’s abrupt departure, what had just happened? He replayed the scene in his mind; he came in, Hakkai greeted him and then he sat down… Oh yeah, the nose twitch. Gojyo belatedly remembered Hakkai’s acute olfactory senses. He would have smelled the girl. Gojyo was a complete idiot for not realizing that.

Staring at the full wine glass in front of him, he struggled with what to do.

“Hmm, I think I understand now,” Lee said. He turned his head and added, “Perhaps it is you who should go after him.”

Gojyo looked up and met, clear understanding in Lee’s eyes. He relaxed with the knowledge that he didn’t have to pretend with this man. “Nah, not now. I’m afraid it will take me weeks to get us back to where we were.”

“From his aura, I would have to agree with you,” Lee nodded grimly.

“Yeah, he’s very complicated, the complete opposite of me,” the redhead sighed with frustration.

The other man blinked at him. “You feel you are uncomplicated?”

“Sure,” Gojyo answered with a chuckle as he swirled the wine in the glass. “Give me a woman and I know exactly what to do. What to say, what she’s telling me in return, both verbally and with body language. When to push and when to back off, it’s so simple, it’s like… second nature to me." He sighed deeply before he continued. “But Hakkai… he’s completely different. I never know if he’s serious with me or just teasing. I know we are friends, but that’s all.”

Picking his next words carefully Lee asked, “Is it difficult for you because he’s a man or because he’s something more than you’ve ever dealt with before?”

Feeling uncomfortable with speaking about his friend behind his back, Gojyo suddenly chugged the glass of wine in front of him and stood. “Thanks for the wine and the conversation.”

“I apologize if I have insulted you,” blue eyes gazed at him with sincerity and sadness. “Good luck to you and Hakkai, both.”

Gojyo nodded and then quickly excited the establishment. He practically ran to the hotel to take the shower he should have taken earlier, before he went in search of Hakkai. The healer would have still known, but it wouldn’t have been as cruelly obvious.

As Gojyo feared, Hakkai stayed in his room that night, refusing to eat dinner with the rest of them. Gojyo was so distracted during the meal; he didn’t even defend his plate from Goku, he wasn’t hungry anyway.

Really, what had Hakkai expected from him? And what difference did it make and why did Gojyo feel so guilty? Hadn’t Hakkai ignored him to the point of being rude?

Gojyo suddenly stood. “I’m going out.”

“So, why tell us?” Sanzo challenged as he took a drag of his post dinner smoke. “Or did you mistake us for someone who cares? Like… Hakkai, maybe?”

“Fuck off,” Gojyo muttered as he turned to leave the inn.

Maybe he would go find the girl again, or maybe there was a poker game he could join somewhere near by. It didn’t really matter at this point; he just wanted to do something to keep his mind off the emptiness in his heart.

He was so distracted when he left the inn, he didn’t see the tall, dark-haired figure following his movements from an upstairs window. Hakkai watched with a mixture of anger, heartache and shame as the clearly dejected Gojyo disappeared into the night like the lonely, stray dog he identified so well with.


TBC