Stay Long
folder
Gensomaden Saiyuki › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
8
Views:
1,542
Reviews:
5
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Gensomaden Saiyuki › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
8
Views:
1,542
Reviews:
5
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Gensomaden Saiyuki, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Grieving Is A Process
hey all! i just wanted to give a spot of thanks to menuriko for their critical review of this particular piece. i really enjoyed recieving it and i did find its advice useful. just so that you know, dear, the first chapter was supposed to be that fast. if the second chapter seemed to move too fast, i apologize; hopefully i've slowed the action down enough. :D thanks again, darling!
now, on to the chapter!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sha Gojyo was not supposed to be driving the jeep. He was supposed to be sitting in the back fighting with the monkey while Hakkai laughed silently and Sanzo got pissed off. Instead, he was driving, sitting in the place where his best friend used to sit and fighting back tears at the thought of that friend never being there again.
Sanzo and Goku were no better off, for all that they were still sitting in their respective seats.
“Sanzo, I’m hungry.” Goku’s statement sounded forced, and a far cry from his usual whining. He was stating a fact, when he would rather not be speaking at all.
Gojyo’s own stomach growled in response, and he wondered exactly when the last time any of them had eaten. Hakkai would never have let them fall so hard.
But Hakkai wasn’t here anymore.
Sanzo cursed as the jeep came to an abrupt halt. “What the hell are you doing?”
Gojyo jumped out of his seat, trying not to break down—again—in front of his teammates. “Feed the monkey. I gotta take a walk.”
“Get your ass back in the car. We’re not stopping until we get to the next village.”
The half-breed turned to face the priest. “You sit there in Hakkai’s seat for four days and do his job for four days. Then you tell me if it would be okay for me to take a break before I go completely batshit.”
“Gojyo, I…” As much as he might have wanted to, Sanzo couldn’t find it in himself to apologize. “Fine. Go. But be back before Goku manages to eat all the supplies.”
Gojyo nodded, relieved that he wasn’t going to press the issue and even more upset by the fact that it was so out of character for him not to. As he walked away—into the oddly ever-present trees—he almost wished it was raining, so that the priest would be bitchier than usual to make up for his current lack.
But the wish was only half-heartfelt. He would never be able to sit through a rainstorm again without thinking of Hakkai.
He slumped down next to a tree, making sure that he was out of line of sight of the others. With shaky hands, he lit a cigarette and took a deep drag off it. He exhaled the smoke on a sigh, and thudded his head against the tree to think.
No matter how hard he tried, Hakkai’s final words wouldn’t let him have any peace. Gojyo wondered exactly how long his friend had felt that way about him. And why he’d never said anything before.
This train of thought led, unbidden, to a memory not long after Hakkai had returned from the temple.
They had been drinking, and Gojyo was beyond inebriated. Hakkai had practically carried him home, despite the fact that he had consumed at least as much sake as the kappa, if not more.
“It’s a shame we drank all my winnings,” Gojyo slurred as they neared their door. “Could have just gotten rooms at the inn and saved the walk.”
“Ah, but the comfort of one’s bed is not to be discounted,” Hakkai replied, giving the red head a smile.
“It’s your bed,” the kappa replied. “I sleep on the damn couch.”
“You don’t have to,” the brunette replied.
Something in Hakkai’s tone penetrated the alcoholic haze on Gojyo’s brain, and he gave his roommate a shocked look.
Hakkai laughed. “I didn’t mean it like that! I meant that you could have the bed back, if you wanted.”
When he looked back on that memory now, Gojyo couldn’t help but think of that event as the first hint that Hakkai had feelings for him.
Dammit, Hakkai, Why’d you have to go and drop this shit on me and then die? Crushing his cigarette out on the ground, he drew his knees up and rested his forehead on them. How am I supposed to deal with all this on my own?
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
Goku ate mechanically, knowing that he was only doing it because Hakkai would have wanted him to take care of himself and not because he wanted to eat. He didn’t know that a person could be so sad that they didn’t want to eat, but he was. Four days hadn’t made that emotional wound feel any better.
The way Gojyo was taking Hakkai’s death wasn’t making it any better either.
With a sigh, the monkey set the bread he had been attempting to eat in his lap. “Hey, Sanzo?”
Sanzo looked at him with purple eyes that seemed more tired than usual. “What?”
“How come nobody could save Hakkai? You know, like they did you?”
The priest sighed, desperately not wanting to have this conversation with his charge. “She couldn’t.”
“But why not?!” Goku felt his sadness turning into anger.
“Because the fucking Merciful Goddess can’t do everything!” Sanzo slammed his hand into the jeep’s hood. Hakuryu made an unhappy sound, but didn’t move. “Because Hakkai wasn’t important enough to the gods for them to get off their holy asses and actually do something for a change!”
Goku watched through stunned eyes as the blond slid to the ground with an inarticulate sound and collapsed in a fit of sobbing.
“I couldn’t protect him,” the priest choked out. “I couldn’t protect him.”
The monkey sat, slack-jawed and unsure of what to do in the face of Sanzo’s uncharacteristic show of emotion. He simply watched, unable to provide any sort of comfort, as the man he loved above any other wept for the man he had come to love like a brother.
now, on to the chapter!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sha Gojyo was not supposed to be driving the jeep. He was supposed to be sitting in the back fighting with the monkey while Hakkai laughed silently and Sanzo got pissed off. Instead, he was driving, sitting in the place where his best friend used to sit and fighting back tears at the thought of that friend never being there again.
Sanzo and Goku were no better off, for all that they were still sitting in their respective seats.
“Sanzo, I’m hungry.” Goku’s statement sounded forced, and a far cry from his usual whining. He was stating a fact, when he would rather not be speaking at all.
Gojyo’s own stomach growled in response, and he wondered exactly when the last time any of them had eaten. Hakkai would never have let them fall so hard.
But Hakkai wasn’t here anymore.
Sanzo cursed as the jeep came to an abrupt halt. “What the hell are you doing?”
Gojyo jumped out of his seat, trying not to break down—again—in front of his teammates. “Feed the monkey. I gotta take a walk.”
“Get your ass back in the car. We’re not stopping until we get to the next village.”
The half-breed turned to face the priest. “You sit there in Hakkai’s seat for four days and do his job for four days. Then you tell me if it would be okay for me to take a break before I go completely batshit.”
“Gojyo, I…” As much as he might have wanted to, Sanzo couldn’t find it in himself to apologize. “Fine. Go. But be back before Goku manages to eat all the supplies.”
Gojyo nodded, relieved that he wasn’t going to press the issue and even more upset by the fact that it was so out of character for him not to. As he walked away—into the oddly ever-present trees—he almost wished it was raining, so that the priest would be bitchier than usual to make up for his current lack.
But the wish was only half-heartfelt. He would never be able to sit through a rainstorm again without thinking of Hakkai.
He slumped down next to a tree, making sure that he was out of line of sight of the others. With shaky hands, he lit a cigarette and took a deep drag off it. He exhaled the smoke on a sigh, and thudded his head against the tree to think.
No matter how hard he tried, Hakkai’s final words wouldn’t let him have any peace. Gojyo wondered exactly how long his friend had felt that way about him. And why he’d never said anything before.
This train of thought led, unbidden, to a memory not long after Hakkai had returned from the temple.
They had been drinking, and Gojyo was beyond inebriated. Hakkai had practically carried him home, despite the fact that he had consumed at least as much sake as the kappa, if not more.
“It’s a shame we drank all my winnings,” Gojyo slurred as they neared their door. “Could have just gotten rooms at the inn and saved the walk.”
“Ah, but the comfort of one’s bed is not to be discounted,” Hakkai replied, giving the red head a smile.
“It’s your bed,” the kappa replied. “I sleep on the damn couch.”
“You don’t have to,” the brunette replied.
Something in Hakkai’s tone penetrated the alcoholic haze on Gojyo’s brain, and he gave his roommate a shocked look.
Hakkai laughed. “I didn’t mean it like that! I meant that you could have the bed back, if you wanted.”
When he looked back on that memory now, Gojyo couldn’t help but think of that event as the first hint that Hakkai had feelings for him.
Dammit, Hakkai, Why’d you have to go and drop this shit on me and then die? Crushing his cigarette out on the ground, he drew his knees up and rested his forehead on them. How am I supposed to deal with all this on my own?
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
Goku ate mechanically, knowing that he was only doing it because Hakkai would have wanted him to take care of himself and not because he wanted to eat. He didn’t know that a person could be so sad that they didn’t want to eat, but he was. Four days hadn’t made that emotional wound feel any better.
The way Gojyo was taking Hakkai’s death wasn’t making it any better either.
With a sigh, the monkey set the bread he had been attempting to eat in his lap. “Hey, Sanzo?”
Sanzo looked at him with purple eyes that seemed more tired than usual. “What?”
“How come nobody could save Hakkai? You know, like they did you?”
The priest sighed, desperately not wanting to have this conversation with his charge. “She couldn’t.”
“But why not?!” Goku felt his sadness turning into anger.
“Because the fucking Merciful Goddess can’t do everything!” Sanzo slammed his hand into the jeep’s hood. Hakuryu made an unhappy sound, but didn’t move. “Because Hakkai wasn’t important enough to the gods for them to get off their holy asses and actually do something for a change!”
Goku watched through stunned eyes as the blond slid to the ground with an inarticulate sound and collapsed in a fit of sobbing.
“I couldn’t protect him,” the priest choked out. “I couldn’t protect him.”
The monkey sat, slack-jawed and unsure of what to do in the face of Sanzo’s uncharacteristic show of emotion. He simply watched, unable to provide any sort of comfort, as the man he loved above any other wept for the man he had come to love like a brother.