Neurosis

Author's Notes: Thank you all for your comments! I think this'll round out nicely at around four chapters. I don't want it to be super-long, my other WIP is causing severe writer's block. Keep the comments coming, please! What people say has a lot to do with how I write this, so any input on things people would want to see before the end would be fabulous. ** Chapter 3: Velocity ** "I'm sorry," L apologized, standing back up. His mass of spiky black hair covered his eyes. "Forgive me, Light-kun." Light was seething. Forgive him? After he pulls a ridiculous stunt like that? Involuntarily, Light licked his lips. They were tender and slightly swollen from the force of L's gesture. L stared past him for a moment longer before he made a move to go past him. "Excuse me." Light shot out an arm, creating a barrier so L couldn't pass. "You kiss me and then walk away? What the hell is that?" he demanded. "I was not thinking correctly," L said stiffly. Dear God, why couldn't Light just let him go already? So not only was he depressed, he was mortified. "So tell me," Light said harshly. "What were you thinking?" ... "...Helena!" L crouched down next to the inert body crumpled on the floor besides him. Her eyes were glassy, and partially closed, and she was whiter than death. He tried to rouse her, but she didn't respond at all. The sound of sirens was deafening. ... L swallowed. Not this, not now, not with Light here. But his mind played on... ... "Who are you?" the nurse demanded. "Immediate family only." She absently shuffled a pile of papers on her desk. "I'm her fiancŽ," L lied quickly. "I need to see her, please." She glared at him appraisingly, and then apparently decided he passed her test. "First door on the left." As he slipped the door open, he passed a technician holding a vial of blood, and a large clipboard. As tempted as he was to speak to the doctors first, he needed to see her. The sterile white bed was blinding, with only the barest of forms on it. A series of drips and tubed poured into her body, but she didn't seem to notice them. At least she was awake. "Lawliet!" she said happily, albeit a little weakly. He gave her as big a smile as she could muster, and sat gently on the foot of her bed. He leaned over to kiss her gently. She smiled softly and took his hand. "Did you bring the textbooks? I'm going to fall behind in physics." He stared openly at her. How could she think about schoolwork at a time like this? Luckily, he was saved from answering by a nurse. "Ma'am?" she asked, tapping on the open door. "I just need to check up on you, does your fiancŽ mind leaving the room?" "Fia-" she stopped. "He can stay, he doesn't have to leave." "All right, then." L watched as the young nurse made a quick check on her, taking her vital signs, and checking her IV pouches. After promising to come back in a couple of hours, she left again and left them alone. "Fiance?" she asked, puzzled. "Is that what you had to tell them to get in here?" "It wasn't a complete lie," L confessed. Absently, he began to rub the top of her hand. "Once you get out of here..." "You're not serious," "I am serious, very serious." L said bluntly. "Lawliet..." His face fell. "You wouldn't..." A sudden squeeze of his hand made him look up sharply. Her eyes were glossed with unshed tears. "You know I will." Filled with a joy like he'd never felt before, he ducked his head and kissed her. ,... "When I was young I had a girlfriend," L said, keeping his voice as emotionless as possible. "You just bear some resemblances to her, is all." Truthfully, Light had always assumed L was something of an asexual, never having any sort of desires towards either gender. "So what happened to her?" he finally asked. L didn't speak. ... "There's an infection," the doctor said bluntly. "It looks like pneumonia, but we can't be sure. All the medications have already weakened your immune system greatly, and there's not much more we can do." L was in dissociated state of shock. He could see everything that was happening, but he couldn't feel any of it. He saw Helena move, and heard her speak, but her words were soundless. Once the doctor had left, advising them to "notify close friends and family immediately," L sat down weakly next to her. For some reason, though, she didn't look to be too upset. "Helena..." he managed to say. "Don't give up on me yet, Lawliet. We still have a wedding to plan." She was seized by a spasm of body-shaking coughs. ... "What was she sick with?" Light asked. He still hadn't forgiven L for his sudden displays of unwelcome affection, but his curiosity the better of him. "When she as a child, she told me she had some sort of blood disease. I can only assume it was a type of cancer. Leukemia, perhaps." "So what happened?" ... It was early in the morning, and L was still curled up in the armchair besides the bed, dozing. He wasn't sure what woke him, but he was surprised to find Helena awake, staring at the ceiling. Especially since she'd been sleeping so much, lately. "Lawliet?" she asked. She slowly turned her head to face him. "I hope I didn't wake you." "No," he said, unfolding himself. "What is it?" She studied him briefly. "Go home." "What? No!" he said firmly. "Lawliet, go home, sleep in your own bed. You've been here nonstop. Go home, get some rest." After a few more moments of fighting, L relented. After bidding her a quick goodbye, with a promise to be back later, he turned to leave. "Wait!" L stopped. "Just...come back and kiss me. again Please." Smiling softly, L bent down and kissed her sweetly on the lips. She reached up with a pale hand and slowly caressed his cheek, before kissing him again with such a quiet intensity L was left breathless. There was something different about her kiss, something he couldn't place. When he pulled back, there was something in her eyes he didn't recognize. "I love you," she murmured sleepily. He'd almost gotten to the door when she spoke again. "Don't wait for me," she said clearly. But before he could ask her what she meant, she was sound asleep. It was the last time he saw her. ... "Watari took the call, when they phoned to tell me." L chewed on his thumbnail. "You didn't go to the funeral?" Light asked, surprised. "Why would I? I didn't want to be in a room full of mourning people." Light was quiet. This wasn't the Ryuuzaki he knew, and it made him uncomfortable. L went on to say, "being stuck here with you makes me think of her. You look just like her...same build, same hair, same eyes." Black eyes stared at him. "I wanted to know if kissing you was like kissing her. " Despite himself, Light had to answer. "Was it?" L looked solemn. "Yes." ** A/N: Read and review, =^_^= I got a little teary writing the last part -_-