Goodnight Moon

Chapter Title: Chained to You



Disclaimer: Death Note =/= mine. Volume 7 would have gone a liiittle bit differently.



Rating: PG



Pairing: L / Light



Warning(s): Contains spoilers for manga 1 - some-number-lower-than-7 but still including the Yotsuba arc, and however that relates to the anime. This is also only faintly slashy, so that kind of earns a warning, and also makes me sad at myself.



Special thanks to shadowform, Greatest Hits and Extremely Magical for reviewing! It made me very happy.



---



Light awoke the next morning once more in control of his world. As with everything else, he neither dreamt nor slept as normal people did-- instead, as though even his subconscious bowed to his strong and orderly will, his dreams served to help him sort through the day's events and replay key scenes and situations to allow him a better analysis without wasting daylight hours.



This was the first time that ability had ever annoyed him. As the layers of his sleeping thoughts and conjectures slowly fell away from him, Light opened his eyes with a faint frown. Having replayed the previous night's near-kiss approximately twenty times in his rest while his mind tried to decide if he'd had an appropriate response to it, what could be learned from the situation and how he might use it in the future, Light was irritably aware of the fact that Ryuuzaki's half-lidded and distracted expression was now imprinted forever in his mind.



On top of that, he could still feel the bastard's gaze on him. He'd grown used to it enough to sleep while aware of the constant surveillance, but waking every morning with the weight of Ryuuzaki's regard was another irritation he had to put up with. If it would help them to find Kira, however, it was worth it.



"See anything interesting?" he asked idly, keeping his own vision fixed to the ceiling but aware of Ryuuzaki in his peripheral vision. He could sense the detective blink, and repressed a smirk at startling the older man.



"Light-kun is always interesting," Ryuuzaki agreed cautiously. When Light turned his head to give the detective a wryly arched eyebrow, the other man wriggled his toes a bit and shifted minutely.



"Apparently so. I suppose the day I wake without you watching me is the day you say you finally believe I'm not Kira, right?" Light drawled. Closing his eyes and not really expecting a response, Light stretched leisurely, arms beneath his pillow and back arching from the bed as his head tilted. Sighing, he relaxed again and glanced to Ryuuzaki once more. Noting the detective's slightly widened eyes, Light furrowed his brows an instant before glaring. "Ryuuzaki. Watching me as a suspect to determine if I am Kira is permissible. Ogling me while I stretch is unacceptable. Or have you forgotten the reason for our being chained together?"



He noted with sadistic amusement how Ryuuzaki's fingers tightened on his knees in response-- silent admittance of guilt, as Ryuuzaki kept his expression unreadable. It almost made up for the embarrassing fact that Light hadn't been attempting to seduce the other man-- he was merely unused to factoring in the detective's attraction when interacting with him. Determining that he would be more careful of his actions in the future, Light finally realized that Ryuuzaki's apparent fixation might actually prove useful in tormenting the annoying detective. His profession of friendship had been ridiculous and nothing Light saw much use in-- but this could be interesting...



"...Light-kun?" Ryuuzaki queried.



With a start, Light realized he'd gone so far into his calculations as to not hear what Ryuuzaki had been saying. Wondering at himself, Light frowned and sat up slowly, running his hand through his hair. "I'm sorry, Ryuuzaki, I must have been distracted. What were you saying?"



Despite the lack of any real change in Ryuuzaki's expression, Light got the impression that Ryuuzaki was giving him a look of suspicious reproach for his lack of concentration. "The possibility of my forgetting why I am chained to Light-kun is less than one percent, barring head injury," Ryuuzaki repeated mildly. "The chain does not inconvenience only Light-kun."



Light stared at Ryuuzaki, feeling as though a window had opened in his mind. "Of course..." He had analyzed the separate facts of Ryuuzaki's social awkwardness, his previous inclinations toward complete anonymity and his apparent inability to relate to others, but Light had never actually applied empathy to Ryuuzaki before. It had seemed almost ridiculous to assume that a person like Light would need to look at the situation from Ryuuzaki’s point of view, and the detective’s actions had only been studied in how they affected Light or the investigation. That had been more than enough to cooperate with the man and to predict many of his actions. How much this realization would allow him to learn about the other man, however, remained to be determined. “It seems I owe you another apology, Ryuuzaki,” he began cautiously. Ryuuzaki blinked at him, no doubt wondering where this conversation was going. “Of course this situation inconveniences you as well. You’re obviously a person more used to solitude, so being around another person constantly must be very hard on you.”



For an instant, Light felt the force of Ryuuzaki’s scrutiny as almost an itching on his skin as dark eyes bore into him. It faded, and Ryuuzaki turned his head away to study the opposite wall and chew his thumb as he thought. Light realized with discomfort that it had been a relief to have the detective look away-- that stare had given him the strangest feeling of being opaque.



“Why does Light-kun assume that I was used to solitude?”



The question made Light snort. “Ryuuzaki, please. You’re the only person I’ve met that I can converse with on my own level-- it must be the same for you. I can at least socialize with others, however-- you have almost no social maturity. Besides, that way of sitting and how you keep your emotions so guarded-- they’re obvious signs of defensiveness. People make you nervous.”



That statement was rewarded with both a finger-clench and a toe curl as Ryuuzaki gnawed more furiously at his thumb. Light was temporarily distracted by the desire to knock Ryuuzaki’s hand away, but knew that would lead to a fight-- which would be fun another time, but he was intent on the current conversation. “...Light-kun guards his own emotions as well,” Ryuuzaki pointed out. “I have seen him choose what to display many times...” His gaze slid sidelong to Light, who was now watching him irritably. “...No one else would notice,” he assured. “My study of Light-kun has not been for nothing, and has led to other conclusions aside from attraction.” If Light didn’t know better, he’d swear the detective was being sarcastic.



“You’re avoiding the subject, Ryuuzaki. I don’t act as I do from nervousness, I just can’t abide thoughtless actions. I admit to being curious, however-- have you always sat that way, Ryuuzaki, or am I right? Have your habits become worse only since you’ve been forced into our constant company?”



There was a long pause while the famous detective apparently communed with the wall over whether to respond.



In the next moment Ryuuzaki shifted slowly, and Light’s eyes widened in surprise. The dark-haired man was now sitting casually on the bed, one leg curled comfortably on the covers and the other still raised-- but he appeared to recline rather than hunch anxiously. His arm rested absently on his raised knee while the other hand poised in a relaxed way on the bed. When he turned his head to regard Light, he appeared taller than he had, and Light found himself re-evaluating his estimate of the other man’s age. He’d thought Ryuuzaki couldn’t be more than a few scant years older than himself, but now he pushed his age closer to the mid-twenties at least. For some reason, this new version of L made Light’s heart beat slightly faster, and he couldn’t quite recover his mental footing.



When Ryuuzaki spoke, his voice was serious and more direct. “Light-kun is correct. The Kira case has... brought out many habits I had thought myself grown out of. I don’t reveal myself to strangers without reason, and it had been years since a case required enough of my attention to give me the need for a constant supply of sweets.” He released Light from his gaze, looking to the wall again and speaking almost to himself. “The farther we get on this case, the more I wonder... If this will be my last investigation. A spectacular case with a man who can kill using his mind, across any distance, needing only a name and a face...”



“...Do you mean that you may retire when we find Kira?” Light demanded-- though the idea gave him a slight rush of power. For who else would Ryuuzaki choose to be his successor but Light?



“...I mean that I am not sure I will survive to Kira’s capture,” Ryuuzaki corrected. “Whatever power it is that allowed you and Amane-san to kill and then left you without your memories, and is now killing again... I can’t see an end to it.”



Light frowned at Ryuuzaki. "Not that again. We've fought over this already."



Ryuuzaki shook his head. "No, Light-kun. I do not mean to say that I've given up hope-- my urge to capture Kira is as strong as ever. That doesn't change the fact that since you were released from confinement... I've had the feeling that it will be Kira who kills me." He lowered his head slightly. "I have to admit, Yagami-kun-- I would prefer the first Kira to be my murderer. This new Kira, with Yotsuba corporation, is petty and greedy, while the second Kira..."



"Was an idiot," Light supplied, studying Ryuuzaki now as intently as the man normally watched him.



Nodding, Ryuuzaki looked to Light again. "However. I would feel unsatisfied if I were to die without taking the original Kira with me-- and all others we identify before that point."



"...Are you saying you believe me, that I'm not the original Kira?" Light asked, arching his eyebrows. He found that Ryuuzaki, like this, wasn't nearly as aggravating as he was used to. It was a little disconcerting to have a conversation with the older man that didn't end in anger.



"Not at all," Ryuuzaki contradicted. Light's eyes narrowed, all thoughts of this Ryuuzaki being better than the other vanishing. "I am certain that my calculations have always been correct in this matter. But still, if a Kira were to kill me..."



Light's eyebrows drew together. "...Following your reasoning... You want me to be the one to kill you." A thought occurred to him, and he glared at Ryuuzaki suspiciously. "That isn't the real reason you have me chained to you, is it? Hoping that if another Kira finds who you are, I could kill you instead? It isn't going to happen, Ryuuzaki. I'm not Kira, and I don't have that power."



Ryuuzaki's lips twitched into a small smile again, and he drew his legs back into their customary curl, hands alighting once more on his knees. "If Yagami-kun as Kira can not find my name out on his own, I will not supply it to him in order to kill me. I merely hope that if anyone defeats me, it is a worthy opponent. Now-- I believe we have wasted enough time," he asserted, crawling across the bed toward the door.



Reaching out swiftly, Light grabbed the chain connecting them. He smirked as Ryuuzaki instinctively fell to his side in preparation for kicking defensively. "I still expect to be allowed access to the tapes from last night, Ryuuzaki."



"..." Ryuuzaki stared back at Light with his expression guarded. "...If Light-kun delays the investigation longer, I will have to assume that--"



Light glared at him. "Don't, Ryuuzaki. You evading like that just makes me suspect you even more."



Appearing slightly impatient, Ryuuzaki tugged the chain free and rolled from the bed. "As Light-kun requests, he may review the tapes from last night."



"You acceding to my request makes me even more suspicious," Light informed him dryly. Still, he left the bed as well, pausing to pull the sheets and blankets on his side into precise order and casting the crumpled mess on Ryuuzaki's side a disdainful look. "--I think I'd like to review the tapes from the rest of the week as well," he added, just to see Ryuuzaki frown.



Ryuuzaki, however, merely nodded and headed for the door, forcing Light to follow. "When Light-kun is certain, he may ask again."



Light's eyebrows twitched as he barely avoided scowling at his chain-partner after a quick mental review of what he'd just said. "You know what I meant, Ryuuzaki."



"Did I?" Ryuuzaki queried emotionlessly as he opened the door and walked through without waiting for the younger man. "Light-kun flatters my reasoning. Or have you come to realize that you feel camaraderie with me? Maybe being chained to me so long has put ideas into your head as well--"



"Ryuuzaki," Light finally managed to speak past his annoyance as he followed. "Those sorts of ideas will never enter my mind. I'm not a perverted detective like you..."



"I was referring to friendship, Light-kun," Ryuuzaki stated, pretending surprise as he nibbled his thumb. "Why would that make me perverted...?"



"So you claim you haven't thought of kissing me again?" Light returned, though that hadn't actually been the conversation they'd been on.



"...It can not be 'again', when I was unable to kiss you the first time," Ryuuzaki pointed out, turning his steps to the bathroom attached to their suite.



Light snorted in annoyance, then paused at the door of the bathroom. "...Ryuuzaki."



"Yes?"



"...Do you have cameras in our bathroom as well?" Light asked, eyes narrowed in blatant distrust.



Ryuuzaki stopped, turning in the doorway to look back at Light with wide eyes and the tip of his thumb lightly against his lips. "Of course. Everywhere in this building is constantly recorded, Light-kun, and the places you might go are taken from multiple angles."



Involuntarily, Light felt his cheeks warm. He managed to convince himself it was anger rather than embarrassment. "What could possibly be gained by getting footage of me in the shower?"



"..." Ryuuzaki's head tilted. "...I should think that was obvious, Light-kun. You have taken classes on physical educat--" He was cut off by the advent of Light's fist connecting once more with his jaw.



---



When Light and Ryuuzaki finally made it to the planning room an hour later than usual covered in various bruises and several bandages, there was an awkward silence from the other detectives.



Matsuda was the only one willing to risk even an indirect question. Nervously smiling, he gave Light an uncertain plea with his eyes. "I thought we were getting along better now?" he asked. "I mean, we played poker last night..."



"We're getting along fine," Light responded smoothly. "Have their been any new developments?" he asked, changing the subject as he took his usual seat.



Taking the hint, Matsuda slumped his shoulders in disappointment and then launched into a description of what they'd been up to. As neither Ryuuzaki nor Light had been helping, it wasn't much. Still, Light listened intently and nodded encouragement. Ryuuzaki, spared from all social niceties, sat beside Light and returned to work.



They spent the day as they had the days before, chasing Kira, and as morning faded through from evening and on into night, the detectives left one by one.



By midnight, Light and Ryuuzaki were all the only ones still conscious in the task force.





-----





My portrayal of ‘serious!L’ here is actually supported by analysis of the manga. Until he shows himself to the police force, L is shown alone in a room communicating with Watari through his notebook. In all of these scenes-- and they’re in several different chapters, well into the second manga-- L is shown sitting casually as I described him, or occasionally kneeling to see the screen easily. He doesn’t appear defensive or hunched. There are no sweets anywhere around him, and he isn’t even shown biting his thumb until page 89 of the second manga-- after showing himself to the task force for the first time. He was also shown several times standing straight, not even hunched as we’re used to. It wasn’t until around page 128 that he began to even have tea shown around him and the nail biting/ thumb thing came more into play, when he began to finally focus all of his energy on Kira and had allied himself with the team firmly. L looked a lot older when he was shown early on, before he started curling up and eating candy and sugar.



Anyway, I noticed that as odd, so got page numbers and reread DN to make sure I was right. I don’t think these were mistakes on an undeveloped character, because his eyes were purposely never shown, so his design seemed to already have been finalized... I believe it was meant to show the contrast between L in his complete solitude and the safety of anonymity versus the anxiety he feels around the task force and when he’s put his life on the line as Ryuuzaki.



And before anyone tells me I’m being too serious about it, it’s just a manga/anime/set of movies-- I’m not serious at all. I just have a major thing for literary analysis, and I couldn’t remember anyone else mentioning this, so thought as long as I seem to be writing this I may as well have fun. /babble



Title for the chapter is the Savage Garden song Chained to You. Anyone else always think of Light and Ryuuzaki when you hear it...? Hmm. Aside from the whole 'dancing to Madonna' bit. Also! Next chapter has a little more slashiness in it. I have a few pages done on it, so it's rolling along faster than expected.