You Belong to Me (song fic)

Hakkai stared at the permanent ink lifeline Goku had drawn on his hand. He’d washed his hands in the three days since the end of the incident with Chin Yisou, but every time, he’d been careful not to scrub the lifeline too hard. He still felt shaky after nearly giving over his entire life force to Gojyo on top of the sleep deprivation and the near-starvation. The lifeline was a much-needed reminder presently that he was, in fact, still alive. He was rooming with Gojyo tonight. That hadn’t been his choice. Sanzo had declared that he was sick of the dancing around the two of them had been playing for three days, and so he’d sprung for three rooms, not wanting to share with Goku. Goku had been thrilled at the prospect and made sure to gloat about it to Gojyo as much as possible. Gojyo, on the other hand, was perfectly fine with rooming with Hakkai.

“Hey, Hakkai. What’re you doing in there? Trying to look like me?” Gojyo joked, rapping on the bathroom door.

Despite having expected the move sooner or later, Hakkai still jumped. “Ah. Sorry, Gojyo. I’ll be out in a second.”

As soon as he was out of the bathroom, Hakkai found a gentle kiss being pressed to his lips. He tensed and began trembling. What would Gojyo ask of him?

“Hakkai, it’s okay. I won’t take anything from you.” Gojyo said, pulling back. He looked pained that Hakkai had reacted that way.

“Please, Gojyo… It’s…”

“No. Don’t try to explain it. I don’t really want to know why you thought you were saving us at the cost of yourself. Don’t you understand what the thought of you slowly killing yourself like that does to us? To me?”

Hakkai had never heard Gojyo sound so serious.

“Don’t pull that shit ever again. You live for yourself, got that? That’s why you got a new name, isn’t it?”

Hakkai hissed in a breath. He hadn’t been expecting that blow. “Gojyo…”

“Shut up and listen. If you’re going to off and do that shit like you don’t care if you live or die as long as you can save somebody, then you haven’t changed one goddamn bit from Cho Gonou.”

He couldn’t help it; Gojyo had struck a nerve. He bared his teeth and growled.

“Yeah. You should get angry. Angry at yourself for buying into that shit that any of us would care to see you die unless one of us did it. We own your ass, Hakkai. You don’t get to choose when you leave this world.”

Despite the sensitivity of the subject of being a possession, Hakkai felt oddly… warmed by Gojyo’s words. Besides, they were the truth. Gojyo owned him because he’d picked him up off the road, put him back together. Sanzo owned him because he’d taken the initiative to say he’d vouch for Hakkai’s new life and actions. Goku… well, Goku owned everyone because to see that boy smile was everything, which Hakkai realized he’d known for a very, very long time.

Say you belong to me
My snow white queen…


When Hakkai woke up screaming from the nightmare of being at the mercy of unkind hands again, Gojyo was quite to comfort him. Gojyo ignored the panicked expression that struck him deeply and climbed into the bed with his lover. Refusing to let go, even as Hakkai flailed and kicked and sobbed and made every attempt to get away, Gojyo just grit his teeth and held on. Hakkai had to face this, had to face that Gojyo very much wanted to touch him again… still.

There’s nowhere to run
So let’s just get it over…

Gojyo needed the contact as much as Hakkai did. He could only hope that the healer realized it before he woke every guest in every inn that they stayed at for the rest of the mission.

Soon I know you’ll see
You’re just like me…

Gojyo stroked Hakkai’s hair, kissed the nape of his neck. Hakkai still shivered and shook, but he wasn’t screaming anymore, and that was an improvement. However, there were four bullet holes in the wall above the bed where Sanzo had shot through from next door, a warning to get Hakkai to quiet down or Sanzo would provide a solution.

Don’t scream anymore my love…

Over the next few weeks, as they got closer and closer to the castle, Gojyo began to realize that while Hakkai had been his lover for awhile and he loved him, he hadn’t really understood just how deeply that love went. When Hakkai nearly collapsed from overextending himself again, still not fully recovered from the month spent with Chin Yisou, Gojyo felt a twinge in his chest as he caught the slender man and the said man flinched, expecting some form of violence or unwanted touch. But he set his jaw. He thought he might have something that would show Hakkai he didn’t want anything from him; just him – heart and soul. Though if he could get the body again, that wouldn’t be too bad either.

….’cause all I want is you…

Hakkai looked at Gojyo in confusion as he sat on the edge of his bed nervously.

“Gojyo?”

“Shh.” Gojyo pressed a finger to Hakkai’s lips before replacing the finger with his own mouth, gentle and leisurely, making no demands. Hakkai tensed initially, but relaxed when he realized he was free to kiss back as he wanted. Shyly, much like he had the first time he’d kissed Gojyo, Hakkai responded, cautiously nipping Gojyo’s lower lip. Gojyo could’ve wept with joy – his lover was coming back.

Gojyo knew he’d be in for some resistance when he reached for Hakkai’s shirt.

“No. Please.” Hakkai broke the kiss, sounding desperate.

“Shhh… I won’t hurt you, ‘Kai.” Gojyo soothed. But Hakkai clutched at his own shirt and backed away from Gojyo.
Gojyo sighed. “What do you want, ‘Kai?”

Hakkai blinked. It felt like ages since he’d been asked what he wanted, really wanted. He didn’t honestly know, but he knew he did not want to be the only one naked for once. He would not be the only one exposed to vulnerability. But how could he phrase that to Gojyo without appearing more cowardly than he already did? He swallowed and looked away, resolved to just say it.

“Don’t make me the only one naked.” He whispered.

It was Gojyo’s turn to blink. Hakkai hadn’t so much as hinted at what had really happened with Chin Yisou, though Gojyo and Sanzo had had their suspicions. To find out that those suspicions were confirmed… Well, Gojyo decided that if Chin Yisou hadn’t already been taken care of, he would be now. He wondered about the morality of asking a monk if there were any damning sutras that one could chant to ensure someone stayed damned.

“Then undress me, ‘Kai.”

Hakkai turned and stared hard at Gojyo, searching for any sign of teasing. But there was nothing but dead seriousness and tenderness from Gojyo. Gojyo backed away from Hakkai and kept his hands loose at his sides.

“Undress me, ‘Kai.”

Hakkai shook as he wet his lips. He wanted Gojyo back so badly. Gojyo was warm and hard and didn’t flinch when he struck out at him. Slowly, he approached, as if Gojyo had been the one traumatized. His fingers fumbled, unused to undressing someone else after all this time. But he managed all right, gasping anew, like he had their first time, at the sight of the pure… Gojyo-ness of the sight in front of him. Even more shocking to him was that Gojyo wasn’t fully erect; he was at a casual half-masted state. He looked up at Gojyo intently.

“It’s not about me, ‘Kai.” Gojyo explained. “Remove your shirt for now, please. I want to give you a backrub.”

“Why?”

Gojyo knew Hakkai wasn’t asking about the backrub, but rather about why Gojyo wasn’t just going to take his pleasure out of the slim man like everyone else seemed to have done.

“Cuz.”

All I want is you…


When everything was sorted out at last, and the journey was over, Hakkai looked at Gojyo. And he really looked at him. How had he ever thought he could survive without Gojyo? There was a familiarity about Gojyo, something he thought he must’ve recognized from the very beginning. And it was warm and comforting and good. Boldly for him, especially given the things he’d endured not too long ago, he stepped up to Gojyo and wrapped his arms around the other man, thinking over all the times he’d nearly lost Gojyo on that journey. And he couldn’t help but think he sort of remembered another time when he’d given himself up in order to keep Gojyo-but-not-Gojyo safe. And he could remember the feeling of relief when that man had come and rescued him from the cruel, hard eyes and from himself. Twice now. Hakkai knew then that Gojyo was right – he did own Hakkai’s ass. But, Hakkai thought… Maybe that wasn’t so bad.

All I want is you…

Tenpou blinked awake. He was sore and stiff all over. But he wasn’t tied up anymore. In fact, as he looked at his wrists that Li Touten had bound, it appeared that the marks were more scars… How much time since that incident had passed? He sat up and scratched his belly as he always did when he first woke. His fingers froze when they touched a mass of scar tissue. A whirlwind of memories hit him. So… they had done it after all. They’d gone to the Lower World. But… why was he back in Heaven?

“You’re awake now?” A familiar, amused and relieved greeted his ears, and he turned.

“Gojyo.” He found himself saying on instinct.

“Tch.” The black-haired man smirked. “I haven’t gone by that name in a thirty years. It’s Kenren, remember?”

Tenpou blinked and then laughed in embarrassment. But, as he studied Kenren’s face, he noticed two familiar scars that the man had borne as Gojyo. Then Kenren’s words caught up with him. “Thirty years?”

“Yeah. I died before you did, made you promise to keep living till you absolutely couldn’t anymore. I was the first one to the transporter to go collect your soul back though.” Kenren grinned, obviously pleased with himself.

“You must’ve died young then.”

“Not really. You died a stubborn old bastard. Nearly 105, you know.”

“Then how are we still…?”

“I don’t know. Blondie doesn’t either.”

“What about Goku?”

“He’ll be here in another ten years. He wants to age a little more before he comes back up and rejoins us all. Said he was tired of being the kid.”

“Mm.” Tenpou rubbed his wrists.

“Hey.”

Tenpou looked up.

“Remember what I said… Don’t you ever try and martyr yourself again. Got it?”

Tenpou arched and eyebrow and smiled faintly. “I’m hardly Hakkai anymore, Kenren, and you’re not Gojyo.”

“Doesn’t matter. I still own your ass.”


As Kenren proceeded to greet Tenpou in a most delightful manner that ended up with Tenpou deciding that he needed new sheets immediately so that he wouldn’t have to lay in his own mess, Tenpou decided that yes, Kenren most certainly did still own his ass, and that it was still okay… Because, even if Kenren hadn’t realized it, Tenpou had owned Kenren’s ass for far longer.

Outside, the thunder rumbled softly, and Tenpou listened to the sound of the rain falling softly against his windows mixing with the sound of Kenren snoring softly beside him, a heavy arm draped across his torso.

All I want is you…
(Forever and ever, ever and ever)

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AN: Well, that's done! It got kinda sappy there at the end, but hey... I like it. Sorry it toned down the smut though, but I really just wanted to establish the sweetness. And the fact that there was healing going on, that everything was okay. Anyway, thanks to Ten-chan for reminding me to finish this story. Hope you like it, Ten-chan!

Also, starting next week, I should be able to write more again. So! If anyone has any requests, I'd be willing to hear them.

Thanks you all for reading.