With All of My Heart

He stared out the window at the city. The sun had since set, and the sky was now dark while the lights from the surrounding building continued to light the streets. It reminded Zoisite of the Earth palace in a way. Even on the darkest nights, the palace always shone with a golden light.

There it was again. Maybe Nephrite was right, maybe he was too obsessed with the past. Then again, Nephrite didn't have his memories, so it was easy for him to say such things.

How long had it been since the Master had left? Zoisite figured that it must have been at least two hours, but still he waited patiently. He knew his Master, probably better than he knew himself, and knew that he needed time to think things over. He would come out when he was ready.

Every once in a while, Zoisite's eyes would drift away from the window and to the picture frame sitting on the shelf near him. It was a picture from the Master's wedding. The Princess was smiling happily as she clung to the Master's arm. Each time he looked at her face, he wondered if what he was doing was wrong. No, it was wrong, he knew this. In this time, in this situation, it was wrong. Just how wrong it was, however, Zoisite couldn't figure out. All he knew was that he wanted the Master back again, the way they used to be. It was horribly selfish of him, but he didn't care.

A door opened down the hall, and Zoisite instinctively straightened his posture, though he didn't move away from the window, nor look away from it. The Master would speak when he knew what he wanted to ask.

“Do you usually keep to your Shitennou forms?” he finally asked. He was purposefully avoiding the subject at hand, something Zoisite had thought he might do.

“If you prefer that I use my civilian form, Master, I will.”

“No, I don't mind. I just thought that it would help you feel more... normal.”

Zoisite debated continuing on this line of discussion, or waiting for the Master to change to the real topic at hand. He choose the former. “Nephrite usually does, unless something angers him, which Kunzite has a habit of doing. Jadeite seems to like his blond hair, but is rarely seen in his uniform. Kunzite and I do tend to stay in these forms however when we don't have to go out. I can't speak for him, but I feel more comfortable like this. I don't like pretending to be something I'm not.”

Most of this would be news to the Master. Whenever he had come over to visit, all four of them had made a point to stay in their civilian forms, since it appeared that that was what he wanted. “I'm sorry.”

“You don't need to apologize, Master.”

Silence proceeded to take over the room again while the Master continued to contemplate what to say next. Zoisite wondered if it would be best if he brought up the subject again, but decided against it. He would be patient.

“I'm honestly surprised that you are still here. I thought that you would have left by now.”

So that's what it was. “I'm sorry, Master. I'll leave now.”

Zoisite turned away from the window and started making his way for the door, about to change into his civilian guise when the Master stopped him. “Wait! That's not what I meant.” Zoisite stopped, looking back over his shoulder curiously. “I'm glad you're still here, actually,” the Master continued. “I...”

Zoisite turned fully at this, not sure what to make of the Master's words now. “Master?”

“That memory that I had... did you see it as well?”

The Tennou nodded. “Much in the same way you did.” Zoisite almost wished that that memory hadn't been brought up. It was now at the front of his thoughts and he needed to concentrate on helping the Master figure out what he wanted, not how his hands felt when they... He was suddenly thankful for the longer jacket he wore.

“Then...” the Master looked off to the side as his voice dropped a bit. “then you felt all those things, but never...”

“Master?”

“If you can stay a bit longer, I'd like that.”

Zoisite returned to the sofa when the Master gestured that he should do so, and sat when asked, even though the Master continued to stand. Zoisite watched him as he fidgeted nervously, trying to figure out what it was exactly that he wanted to say.

“I was angry at first, after you showed me the past.”

“At me?”

“Yes, but only at first. You were after all only doing what I asked. Then I was angry at myself. Mainly because I had told myself that the past was only the past, and yet... I can't forget the present. I'm married, and I love Usagi, so why is it that I want to do things that would only bring her pain if she found out?”

Zoisite nodded, understanding the dilemma. “In the past, the Princess did not enter your life until much later.”

“And what happened when she did?”

“Well, she distracted you from many aspects of your regular life, including your contact with us. However, you did still seek us out, on nights when you weren't otherwise occupied.” Zoisite wasn't too sure how his Master would take this information. The Master of the past understood the distinction between his relationship with the Princess, and his nights with his Shitennou. He had been raised differently in this age, and so his past self and his present self where at odds with each other.

“Where things like that common in the past?”

Zoisite had to think a bit before answering that one. “Well, it would not have surprised anyone if they had found out about our... activities, but it was still kept them discrete. The Princess did not know then what was going on either, if that is what you are wondering.”

There was a long pause before the Master asked his next question. “If I were to tell you that I was interested in resuming these nighttime activities, how would you feel?”

“If that is what you want, Master, then...”

“That wasn't what I asked, Zoisite.”

Zoisite looked up, and at his Master He was looking not into the face of Mamoru, but of Endymion. It was only the smallest of changes, a slight tilt of his head, the curve of his lips as he was just shy of a smile, his stance had changed as well. This was the man who had first awakened this desire in him all those millennia ago.

“Zoisite, how would it make you feel?” the Master repeated his question.

He looked down as he felt a bit of heat reach his face. “I... I would...” he stumbled on his words, knowing that there was no way he could accurately describe his feeling in this, or any other spoken language. “It would make me very happy.”

He felt the Master approach him, and then a gentle nudge from his hand lifted his chin. Zoisite sucked in a breath quickly, not out of surprise for his Master's sudden proximity, but rather because of the excitement, the fire that had suddenly been lit inside of him. “Master...”

“Will you stay here for the night?” he asked, his lips drawing nearer to Zoisite's own.

“Yes,” Zoisite's voice barely registering as a whisper.

“Then I'm happy as well.”

When their lips finally did touch, it was like nothing Zoisite had ever felt before. It didn't even compare to the first kiss they had shared, or any others in the past. They had been rejoined after so long, and that first kiss, that first embrace was almost more than he could bear.

“Are you alright?” the Master asked after they broke apart, and Zoisite had been left panting for air already.

He nodded, “I'm fine, Master. It's just that I've missed this. So much.”

The Master's hand cupped his cheek, and Zoisite leaned into the contact. “Then I won't keep you waiting any more.”

Zoisite moaned as the Master kissed him again, but harder this time, slipping his tongue inside Zoisite's mouth. Anything the Master wanted to do to him would be readily accepted. Never once had he failed in bringing only exquisite pleasure to Zoisite.

The Tennou leaned back on the sofa, his hand found his Master's shoulders, and he gently pulled him in. The Master placed his knee on the sofa so that he could lean in closer, continuing to meet Zoisite's demands while he began to release the clasps that kept the other man's uniform closed.

He moved with a precision and speed that only someone who had done this many times before could manage. The Master must finally be understanding. His memories were far from completely returned, but his subconscious remembered this all too well.

Zoisite's skin tingled as the Master lightly dragged his fingers over his neck and down his chest. He paused briefly when he brushed the waistline of Zoisite's pants, and the Tennou wondered if he was suddenly having second thoughts. Was Mamoru winning over Endymion?

“Please...” he begged, wanting to feel that touch again more than anything else.

Slowly, ever so slowly, the Master hand moved closer. Fingers lightly brushed him through the fabric of his uniform, and Zoisite made a sound somewhere between delight and disappointment. He was grateful for this, and yet wanted more and more. There had been times in the past when the Master had teased him like this, holding back until Zoisite couldn't take it anymore. Was that what he was doing now, or was it simply hesitation and uncertainty?

Zoisite opened his eyes a fraction and turned his head. The Master was looking at him, watching him with a curious look on his face. “Master?” Zoisite asked, the weakness in his voice evident.

“What?” the Master asked, seeming to realize that there was something he should be doing. “Oh, I'm sorry. I just... got distracted. It's just strange how familiar all this is to me.” He shook his head then, “and I'm sure that you don't care one bit about that right now. I'm sorry.”

“Don't be, Master. It's not a problem.” Zoisite watched with lust clouded vision as the Master unfastened his pants, finally zeroing in on his target. It was almost painful waiting for the Master, that throbbing need screaming louder and louder as he got closer. Zoisite had to bite his lip when he saw the Master lick his own.

The garment was pulled off slowly, and Zoisite spread his legs a bit when his Master knelt on the floor in front of him. He touched, rubbed, and finally lightly grabbed Zoisite's erection in his hand. Zoisite's fingers dug into the cushions of the sofa when the Master licked his lips a second time. He was hesitating, but Zoisite was afraid to say anything in case it caused him to back away.

“I've... never done this before...” the Master whispered. “At least, I have no memory of it. I don't know what I'm doing.”

“It's alright, Master,” Zoisite panted in reply. “Anything that you do will be fine.” He sounded so desperate, and it was true that he was, but he wasn't sure if he wanted the Master to know that.

Regardless the Master smiled as he stroked his hand up and down. “I'm sorry that I've kept you waiting so long. It was selfish of me.”

Zoisite was about to protest, but then an overwhelming sense of pleasure took hold of him. He cried out and closed his eyes as he felt himself being enveloped by the warm and moist mouth of his Master. It was even better than he remembered.

One of the Master's hands rested on Zoisite's leg, and he began to slowly massage the inside of his thigh. Zoisite spread his legs a bit further and slid down on the couch, hoping that his movements would clue the Master in to what else he wanted.

He looked up uncertainly at Zoisite as his fingers found his entrance and gently stroked the outside. Zoisite could feel himself trembling as he nodded slightly and mouthed the word 'please'.

“I don't have... anything to...”

Zoisite realized then that of course the Master wouldn't have been prepared for this encounter. “Give me your hand,” he said quietly as he quickly removed and tossed away his gloves. Zoisite took two fingers of the offered hand in his and concentrated on using his powers. Concentration was something he was in short supply of at the moment, but he did succeed in creating the slick substance.

The Master looked at his hand and rubbed his fingers together to test the lubrication. “I can see now how you might be hesitant to give up using your powers. They can be rather convenient, can't they?”

Zoisite made a noise of agreement, but truly did not care much for chit chat at the current moment. Thankfully, the Master was kind enough to return to pleasing his subordinate. He took Zoisite into his mouth again and brought his lubricated fingers back to his opening. As if to test the waters, he slowly inserted the first one a fraction of an inch, and was rewarded with a moan from Zoisite. A bit more, and then Zoisite pushed himself down on the intrusion, unable to stand this slow progress. He would berate himself later for being so demanding of his Master, but at the moment the only thing he could think about was the possible pleasure.

The Master got the idea, probably realizing that this was hardly Zoisite's first time. When he finally inserted a second finger, Zoisite cried out in pleasure. He moved his hips a bit more, whimpering a barely audible 'yes' when his Master either unconsciously, accidentally, or purposefully hit that spot inside him. It didn't matter, he knew where it was now, and Zoisite's hold on the sofa cushion became a death grip.

He tried to hold off coming as long as he could, knowing that the longer he did, the better it would be, but the Master was making that attempt very difficult. He pumped his fingers a bit faster, sucked a bit harder, and soon Zoisite couldn't hold himself back anymore.

He didn't scream 'Master' or 'Endymion' or any other words or names, he just screamed. His back arched as one of the most intense orgasms he had ever felt ripped through his body. When he collapsed back down on the sofa, he continued to shake a bit, even after the Master pulled out and away from him. He forced his eyes to open and look up and into the smiling face of his Master as the other man sat down beside him.

“That good, was it?” he said teasingly. “You're lucky this apartment has thick walls.”

“I'm... sorry... Master...” Zoisite replied, his speech broken by his heavy breathing.

The Master raised his eyebrows. “And what exactly are you sorry for this time?”

“I...” he tried off, actually uncertain of the answer himself.

The Master stood then, and began to gather the scattered bits of Zoisite's uniform. Zoisite didn't want the Master to have to bother with that, but his attempts to push himself off the couch failed now that his body was so relaxed. Sleep was pulling at him as well.

Sensing this, the Master offered his hand. “Come, why don't we get you into bed?”