Screwed

I do not own Saiyuki and made no money writing this.


++

Hakkai liked order. Not because he was a naturally orderly person. No, it was a form of control. Hakkai was not a naturally controlling person, though. Contol was simply a sort of self assurance. Hakkai naturally needed that.

The tins had to be stacked in a specific order: meats, then vegetables, and beans. They were substacked according to expiration: oldest to newest. Water was stored the same way, going from right to left. Cigarettes? Both full flavored soft pack and hardpack light cartons were stocked. Backup packs hidden, just in case one of those guys decided to go on another chainsmoking jag. Clothes were always washed, folded and kept separated. This was done meticulously. Not because he was some neat freak. Not because he enjoyed shaking his head at the others when they grabbed the wrong can or got more bloodstains than they should have on their clothes. It wasn't that, though it was interesting to note their practically meek responses. (Yes, even Sanzo, in his own way. Sure, he'd mutter "bite me," or some other serenely spiritual chain of blessings, but he would comply like the rest.) It was as if they understood all this order was essential for the next day. The next day they wanted to see. It gave them all hope.

"So, tell me what you want to do, after all this is over."

"I already told you." Hakkai shifted behind him, just a tad. "Keep your head down and pull up your hair."

"I did." Gojyo let it down, again, and gathered it all up, again. "Happy?"

"Ecstatic." Hakkai dipped the cloth into the water. Rubbed it with a soap bar. Rubbed it over Gojyo's back. Carefully, making sure to swab open cuts and wounds. "You really should take care during your encounters." Bubbles slowly slid down his skin. "I can hardly tell which wounds are from the enemy or him." He lingered over a bite mark on the left shoulder.

Gojyo closed his eyes. The soap stung but the attention was relaxing. So was the water. Fuck- water! He nearly came when they passed over the bridge and caught sight of the sweet little spring. This slice of heaven called to him and he knew he'd raise hell if they didn't stop. Good thing they all felt like a dip. But not like he did.

If Gojyo had his way, he'd stay for the rest of the day. Or his life.

"Done."

He let himself slide into the stream. It moved through the valley like blood pulsed through his body. He let himself stay down there. Let himself be. Just him and the muffled life blood of the earth.

Damn, it felt good. Like home. Too bad he couldn't stay.

Hakkai held out the washcloth. "Your turn."

And so Gojyo reciprocated. "You still didn't tell me my favorite story."

"Ah."

Gojyo was rougher than Hakkai. But the guy liked it like that. His neck was always too tight, shoulders a little too bunched, back always knotted up. Gojyo soaped with the cloth, but kneaded with his hands. "So, go on."

Hakkai began to tell him, between silent pauses where any other man would’ve groaned. "I would like to find a nice little town. Not in the desert. Maybe near the ocean. And I would like to have a home, a home with a wife and children."

"The strong woman."

"And beautiful. Don't forget!"

"Ah, how could I? She's got to be, because old Gojyo is depending on some hot daughters out of you."

"And I want to teach children at an orphanage. Teach them maths and languages."

Gojyo worked an old knot in the lower vertebrate. The worst one. Bubbles foamed beneath his fingers. "What else?"

"And I want old man Gojyo to live far, far away from my beautiful daughters!"

They laughed. "Not a chance."

Hakkai immersed himself for a moment. Just long enough to rinse.

"This strong woman, she's lucky."

“Luck would be a plus."

"No," Gojyo smiled back. "She's lucky to have you in her future." He looked away. Wondered where the others were- probably on the other side of the bridge, maybe even talking about their own futures? "Did you ever wonder, Hakkai? Wonder why you and me are still friends?"

Hakkai put his hand on his shoulder. He looked him in the eye. "Because we feel like it." Water rushed between their bodies. Wind blew through the trees. Birdsong was everywhere. "Aren’t you going to ask me why I am not your lover, instead?"

Gojyo shook his head. "No. Not that you wouldn't be blown away or that you wouldn't be half bad, yourself."

"Oh, well thank you for that."

"It's just... " He shrugged. "I don't know why."

"I do." Hakkai's expression suddenly became very serious. "How am I going to explain to my wife that my lover wants our daughters?"

Gojyo laughed so hard he fell back into the water.

++

Sanzo looked like a drowned cat: dripping from head to sandal. Even his cigarette was wet. Hakkai took a long look and began to hum his funny little tune. Hopped into Jeep, started him up with a tickle of the key and patted the passenger seat.

"Played to hard in the water, Father?"

"Not a word from any of you." Sanzo slammed the door shut. "Not a word." He pointed at Hakkai’s smiling face. “That grin counts.”

Gojyo pulled Goku away, before monkey-butt could hop on in, and whispered; "What happened?"

Goku shrugged. "He's shy."

"I said not a word!" Sanzo turned and cocked his gun. "Are you two jackasses going to gossip like a couple of old women or get in the car? I would just as soon you didn't!"

++

Shy.

Gojyo wanted to ask what that meant. Was going to ask what that meant. Even planned to corner the kid at the next piss stop and find out.

Shy.

Genjyo imma-gonna-keel-joo Sanzo, shy about taking his jillionth bath with the monkey. Genjo fuck-like-you-fight Sanzo didn't want to be naked in front of the same idiot he'd been naked around little hard-on-for-food?

Something wasn't adding up.

They'd all seen each other naked. It was no big deal. They all knew Goku had some weird mole right on his tailbone. Hakkai's scar looked like a freaky smile on his gut. Sanzo was a grower, not a shower. (Gojyo could attest he grew, though!) And Gojyo didn't even think twice about the stupid daisy some dumb slut tattoed on his ass.

What was there to hide?

++

But he didn't get a chance. Not to piss or to ask, because- wouldn't you know it?- they were due a workout. Yeah, some motley bunch of demons literally burst out if the sand and jumped them. Or tried to. (How long had those poor fuckers been baking in those sandholes, waiting for them?) And of course they had their asses handed to them. Literally, one case Gojyo handled.

And of course it meant there was a town nearby. And there was no time for a pit stop. Hakkai hot-rodded Jeep toward the joint, appolagizing for every bump along the way. Every bump that reminded every one of them that they had to take a leak. Bad.

“I’m gonna explode if you don’t stop, Hakkai! I swear!” Gojyo meant it, too. He really did.

“You were supposed to wash up at that river, not drink it.” Goku didn’t look too comfortable, himself. “Damn, you freak!” He nearly fell out of Jeep when Gojyo stood up, as they were rolling down a dune, and pulled down his pants. “Put that thing back in!”

“Hey! Not all of us are shy!”

And so the desert got a little rain.

++

Gojyo rummaged through the bag.

“It’s not there.”

“Then where?” He cursed. “Fuck! Hakkai! You know I hate religious towns! The monks always keep the booze for themselves.”

“And it wouldn’t help that Sanzo is at their temple, or that that we couldn’t come.”

“Or that he didn’t even care? Nope. Score!” He held up the metal tin. Shook it. Snickered. And shook his finger. “Don’t ever say you’re not a smoker.”

“Hakkai doesn’t smoke.” Goku was busy working his way through a pile of pork buns. But he always had time to talk with his mouth full. He was skilled, that way.

“Not tobacco.”

Gojyo snorted. “But plenty of pot.” He took a bud out of the tin. “Ah.” He sniffed it like a true connessueir. Then he broke the bits apart on the lid. “Where’s the pipe?”

“Gone.”

“What do you mean, gone?”

“I mean gone, as in broken when you went digging for resign.”

Gojyo was not impressed. “I fixed it.”

“Then I threw it away and bought more rolling paper.”

“Oh, thanks, alot.”

“You’re welcome!”

“That stuff stinks!” Goku was not pleased. “Put it away!”

“I told you, he wouldn’t be able to tolerate us smoking it around him.” Hakkai threw the rolling papers on the matress. “Make due, will you dear?”

“With pleasure, my love.” Gojyo blew him a kiss and commenced to rolling. By the time he licked the joint and lit up, Goku was gagging.

“I told you.”

Gojyo held the smoke in. Just enough to make the world fuzzy. “I say he should have some.”

Hakkai took a long, hard look at Goku, who’d hiked his shirt up over his nose.

“It’ll make the food taste really good....” Gojyo grinned. Nodded. Winked.

“Don’t do your pervert thing on me.”

Hakkai coughed, hard. But he handed it over to the kid.

“Go ahead.” Gojyo winked. “It won’t bite’cha.”

Hakkai leaned over and whispered as Goku took the longest, deepest drag in the history of novitiate joint-dragging. “What are you up to?”

“You’ll see.”

++

Those idiots.

Didn’t they realize he knew what they were doing? He knew, before this spoiled, bald fool invited him to this sweltering clay temple, thanking him for saving their town - as if that was what Sanzo just lived for!- he knew they would be up to no good.

Ganja. He could feel his thoughts getting caught and bogged down with every puff that stupid monkey took. Moron! He shook his head. He nearly smiled when the old fool caught his eye. “Everything alright, your Sereneness?”

Did he call him princess? “I need a smoke.” He nearly laughed when the priest stumbled over words and steps to show him the way.

++

“So... you and Sanzo?” Goku was laying on his back. “You and Sanzo....” Goku was holding a pork bun over his head. “You. Sanzo. I know all about you and Sanzo....” Goku was stoned, immaculate.

“Me and Sanzo....”

Hakkai interrupted. The snore was very polite. And very well timed.

“I know what you’re doing...” He didn’t say it. He sang it.

“I know you know....” Gojyo sang it back.

“And I know something you don’t know....” What a weird song.

“I know you know and I know I don’t know....” But he was keeping up. Sort of. Scratched up, funked up wooden slats couldn’t keep him stuck, but they tried. He slid closer, leaned closer and put on his friendliest face. “You’re gonna tell me.”

Goku dropped the bun on his chest. He exhaled as if it was a pin and he was the balloon it popped. “When did you first, you know, think about sex?”

“Can’t say.” Gojyo lit a cigarette. Blew smoke rings. Watched the kid count them. “Do you think about me and him?”

Goku just nodded.

“I won’t take him away from you. You know that, right?”

The bun fell off his chest. He must’ve... been holding his breath?

“Did you... try to do anything with him in the river?”

Goku closed his eyes.

“You can’t pretend nothing happened.”

“I’m a pervert, too.” His eyes were shut, tight. “I... I’m going to fuck everything up being like this!”

“Hey! Kid, hey!” He shook his shoulder. “You didn’t fuck anything up. Okay?”

“The room’s spinning.”

Shit. “Come on. you just need to lay down.” He got up. Held out his hand. Smiled at the sad little monkey face. “Come on.”

Gojyo had no way of knowing what it meant to Goku. Taking his hand. Helping him as he stumbled into the cot. No way of knowing how the lightbulb behind his head made him look like he had a halo. Had no way of knowing. Because he was not Goku.

But someone else did.

He was sitting in a garden, grinding out the tenth of twenty cigarettes in his pack, hiding himself.

++

Hakkai was a hopeful man. It did no good to lose hope, and it didn’t hurt to have any. But this was not to say he believed in false hope. Or blind luck. As he told Gojyo once, luck is made. Carefully. With planning. With cunning. With determination. And, most importantly, he made it look effortless.

Hakkai was not asleep. No. He was waiting. And when those two were the actual sleepers, snoring with and farting in that little cot, he left the room.

Left the inn.

Left the village.

Found the desert.

And the sky.

He threw Jeep up into the blue. Stretched his hand as he soared. Smiled when he felt the presence he had sought. “Hello.” He did not turn around.

“Did you really let him smoke all that ganja?”

“What harm would it do?” He finally turned around. Looked at him. But Sanzo was staring in the direction of the village. “You are worried.”

He would no answer. Not with words. He just spat.

“Can I offer advice?”

“Can I stop you?”

“Someone once told me to do whatever the fuck I wanted.”

“Calling me a hypocrite, now?”

“Yes.” He smiled. He laughed. He even pointed his finger like a gun- the nerve!- at Sanzo. “You aren’t completely immune to criticism, are you?”

“Are you immune to a bullet?”

That stopped the damn laughing. But it didn’t kill the smile. “Why does it bother you? Letting those two be together? It’s not jealousy. I can tell.”

Sanzo’s eyebrow went up.

“It’s fear.” He stepped forward, and some how the crumbing rocks didn’t make him stumble or even falter. “You’re afraid one of them will tell the other something.” Sanzo stood his ground. Lit a smoke and blew it in Hakkai’s face. But it still didn’t stop the guy. “Gojyo wanted to know what happened at the river this morning. Goku didn’t tell him a thing. But he was upset, he said that much.”

“What did he say?” His voice was too rough. To rushed.

“I won’t pry.” Hakkai stepped back and held his hands up. “No demand to know what is going on.”

“But an exchange would suit you?”

“You know me so well.”

“No way.”

Hakkai shrugged. “Then what are you here for?”

Sanzo turned away. Took a long drag. Stared at the lone cloud to the east. “It must be hovering over that place.” He shook his head. “The stupid monkey wanted to see my scars when I began to take off my robes. The ones that pervert left on me.” He paused. “I’m sure you noticed his.”

“Go on.”

“I just put them back on. He got behind me. Pushed me in the water. And I smacked the daylights out of him. End of story.”

“I see.”

“Your turn.”

“That makes sense, because Goku was calling himself a pervert.” Hakkai put his hand on Sanzo’s shoulder. “He’s just curious, Sanzo.”

He glared at the hand. Then him.

“Why is he so upset?”

Sanzo ground the cigarette out. “Jealousy? Envy?”

“Goku?” Hakkai didn’t believe it. “You can do better than that.”

Sanzo began to walk away. “Sounds like you got it all figured out, four eyes.”

“That’s three, not four,” he whispered to himself.

Hakkai stood there, watching until Sanzo became a small dot on a red horizon. He held out his arm. Jeep came swooping down, crying as the claws clamped on a might too hard. But Hakkai didn’t mind a little blood. “Did you hear that? He’s got a secret.”

Jeep agreed.

++

It was night when he came to his room. It was past midnight when he shook him awake. Between dusk and that point he had sat, watching those two sleep. “Wake up.” Sanzo shook harder, then slapped his face. “Come on, you cheap piece of ass.”

Gojyo combed the hair out of his face. Smiled. “What took you so long, princess?”

“None of your business. Get up and quit being pointless.”

With pleasure.