The Mello Code

There was no traffic on the road, so Mello arrived home right behind Matt. Matt waited in the yard, still on the motorbike, until Mello had driven his car into the garage, before sliding in alongside it. As Matt locked the garage door, Mello strode across the yard and gained access to the house without switching on the kitchen lights. Matt entered nervously, looking for Mello to leap out of the shadows, but there was a steady muttering coming from further within. Matt illuminated kitchen and hallway alike, before checking the security and switching on the kettle. Only then did he wander further inside to see what his husband was up to now.



Mello was prostrate, face-down, on the slabs of their little chapel. He had lit a tea-light in front of the statue of the Virgin, but had switched no other light on. Matt frowned. He\'d never seen Mello pray like this before. His arms were out-stretched like the crucified Christ, not brought together in supplication. Mello\'s head was bowed, but only so that his forehead could be pressed against the cold floor without his risking a broken nose. "Odonud će doći suditi žive i mrtve." Mello muttered, half under his breath. Matt left him to it. Whatever this was, it was between Mello and his God.



Back in the kitchen, Matt stripped off the leathers and dressed himself again in his own clothes, which he\'d dumped on the table. The heating had been left on since before he\'d left the house, so it was warm enough now just to make do with jeans and a striped shirt. Matt padded over to the kettle and poured himself a cup of tea. He hesitated over Mello\'s hot chocolate, because there was no telling how long he\'d be holed up with his Catholicism. Matt had only just turned, to carry his tea away, when there was a shuffling and movement at the hallway door and Mello appeared. The blond said nothing, just marched to the fridge and found a chocolate bar inside. Matt made him a drink. "Are you alright, Mello?"



"Why wouldn\'t I be?" Mello growled, but his eyes seemed haunted. The chocolate bar was devoured in rapid bites that he couldn\'t possibly be chewing properly before swallowing.



Matt nodded. "Ok, let me put this another way. Mihael, you\'re scaring the shit out of me. What\'s up?"



Mello scowled. "Will you stop implying that I\'m going mad please? It\'s not helpful." He rummaged around inside a kitchen drawer before finding a pair of scissors. He grabbed a carrier bag and disappeared back into the chapel. Matt grimaced, his imagination seeking worst case scenarios. Unfortnately, his mind came up with a lot of them in response to the basic question: what damage could Mello do to himself, in the name of God, with a pair of scissors and a carrier bag? Matt sauntered after him and nearly collided with him coming back. "What?" The blond snapped. Matt glanced down to see the bulging bag. Mello sighed with impatience. "Some of the flowers were wilted. I\'ve trimmed them. Is that ok?" He stomped away outside, a burst of cold air coming through the left open outer door, as he dumped the dead flowers into the appropriate bin.



Matt schooled his thoughts. Mello had patently thought himself into some corner during the journey home. Matt knew that he would have to tread carefully on the way he teased it out of him. He returned to the hot chocolate, prepared to lure Mello with it close enough to be hugged. Pinned down, Mello might just calm down. Behind him, the door closed with a firm bang and the key was turned in it. Matt turned to comment, but Mello was swooping down on him already. "I\'ve made you a hot..." Matt began, before he was being crushed against the sink with lips closing over his own. Teeth on teeth, a hard, desperately passionate kiss. It was awkward, because the edge of the sink was pressing into the small of Matt\'s back and his one hand was trapped between his own backside and the cupboard. He tried to wriggle into a kinder position, but Mello grabbed his hair and held him in place.



A couple of minutes later, Mello stepped back, releasing him with a faint smile. He reached out and took the hot chocolate. "Gracias, guapo." Then span away to open the fridge door again. Another bar of chocolate came out, but he was still peering inside, shuffling things around to look at the food at the back.



Matt rubbed his back and shook his fingers to bring life back into them. "What are you doing now?"



"Finding something to eat. Did we eat all of that spiced cous-cous?"



"I can assure you that I haven\'t touched your cous-cous." Matt bit his lip. "Do you want me to go and listen to the rest of the packages? Just so you can be hundred percent sure that you\'re in the clear?"



"Nope. I want you to delete them off Singh\'s computer, then prepare yourself. Because right now I don\'t care how freaking bruised you are. As soon as I\'ve had something," he paused, reading the sell-by date on a yoghurt based salad. He grimaced and threw it into the bin, "to eat, I\'m going to screw your brains out."



Matt chuckled. "Ok." He lit a cigarette. "The first thing I did was set it up to delete there as soon as they\'d downloaded here. I mean, someone really determined would be able to extract it from deep memory, but I can\'t get a shredder there without getting the hardware itself. But judging by his set-up, I doubt that Singh has the know-how to find it. So, like, I pre-empted your request and it\'s already done. Want to move straight onto the hot sex?"



"Nope." Mello smiled. "I want to eat this delicious cheese pie and then move onto the hot sex." He took out a plate and dumped the pie onto it, before cutting up a tomato and adding some pickles. His food preparation was punctuated by regular bites of his chocolate. Mello shrugged. "Of course, we lose the sense of spontaneity with me warning you like this."



"Will that then be enough?" Matt asked.



"For what?"



"You\'ve spooked yourself. You\'ve tried religion and chocolate. You\'ve tried snogging me and now you\'re onto the savouries." Matt smiled at his husband. "Do you think you\'ll finally be able to hide from yourself once you\'ve had sex with me?"



Mello threw back his head, his hair cascading down past his shoulders. "Yes." He declared. "I think that might just do it."



"Mihael, you\'re not a bad person. Ok?"



"I didn\'t say I was." Mello fixed him with a warning stare. "I\'m very grateful for you coming to give me a bit of perspective. Thank you very much for solving my case. Now I could really do without the pop psychology. Thank you." He carried his food and mug over to the table and sat down.



Matt could think of several responses, but the wisest seemed to be to just sit down with his PSP and shut up. He had barely got the game loaded before Mello stood up with a loud scraping of chair legs on the carpet and dropped his empty plate into the dishwasher. His hot chocolate was despatched in a few deep gulps and the mug also placed inside, before the dishwasher door was closed with an audible thud. Mello turned quickly and grabbed Matt by the bicep, pulling him to his feet. "Do I get a say in the matter?"



Mello rolled his eyes, pulling his husband across the room and switching out the light. They were halfway up the stairs before Mello replied, "So you\'re not giving your consent?"



"I didn\'t say that." Matt smirked. His arm was aching under the tight grip. His balls wanted this as much as Mello evidently did. "I\'m just..."



"Well, shut the fuck up then." Mello propelled him through the open bedroom door and immediately released him to stride across to his side of the bed. He took his jacket off as he went. "You know what I really want at this second in time?" Mello crouched, found the handcuffs and threw them onto the bed.



Matt followed their trajectory and stopped chewing the inside of his own mouth. "I\'ve got certain clues, yes."



"Then you\'d be wrong." Mello glared as he pulled his top off. "Get undressed." He yanked the belt free of his trousers. Matt did as he was told. "What I really want is to curl up with my husband. Slowly, gently, tenderly reinstate something of love and beauty into my world. I\'m freaked out and I want kisses and cuddles. Unfortunately I married you, so what I\'m actually going to get is mindless violence." He kicked his boots beneath the dresser. "But so be it. If that\'s what passes for intimacy in this relationship, I\'ll take it."



Mello had sat down on the edge of the bed to take his socks off. Matt stared at the back of his husband\'s head. Mello\'s shoulders were hunched up, as if his whole body was tensed for the fight. Matt smiled and dropped onto the bed, walking on his knees until he was behind Mello. His arms encircled the blond and Matt leaned down to whisper in his ear. "Mihael, try this. Stop ranting and ask me for what you need."



"What use is that?" Mello snapped, staring straight ahead. "You\'ll agree to things, then engineer it so I\'m hurting you or you\'ll make some crack about being bored. You know? I\'d prefer to do something that we\'re both getting off on, instead of something where I feel like you\'re faking every moan and just doing it to humour me." He scowled. "Then you\'ll just make me feel tiny at the end of it. Hold it against me for days. Right now, I don\'t need your viciousness."



"Nope that\'s still ranting. Try repeating this, \'Mail, I\'d really like to kiss and cuddle with you on this bed. Can we?\'"



Mello sighed in exasperation and spat out, "Mail, I want to kiss and cuddle with you. Can I?"



Matt leaned further around until his eyes could meet Mello\'s. "Yes."



Mello blinked. "What\'s the catch?"



"You have to have kisses and cuddles." Matt pulled him backwards, moving himself so that the blond had room to fall. "You didn\'t ask very nicely though. You need to work on that." He grinned and crouched down to kiss Mello. "So you don\'t want sex. Is it just kissing and cuddling? More romance? I don\'t know, kissing and cuddling while watching television or something?"



"No, I do want sex." Mello gave him a pained look. "Kissing and cuddling whilst having sex."



"You\'re weird."



"I\'m really not, Matt. People do that all the time." Mello uttered a frustrated noise and tried to sit up. "Forget it! We\'ll get the handcuffs and I\'ll..."



"No." Matt held him down and moved half off the bed, so that he could properly lie on Mello, holding him. "I can has kisses and cuddles."



Mello\'s hands rose to cover his face. "Stop talking Leet. It drives me up the fucking wall!"



Matt was slipping off his husband. He put a foot down on the floor to steady himself. "Mihael. Mihael." The blond didn\'t move. "Mihael. Pretty boy. Move your hands." There was no indication that Mello was going to uncover his face any time soon. "Mihael, don\'t underestimate how long I can lie here waiting for your mood to swing back round to where it was a minute ago. High maintenance fucking prima donna." He watched Mello\'s hands open so that Mello could glare at him. "Diva."



"See! You\'re insulting me already."



"Because you deserve it." Matt smiled. "I want kisses and cuddles and sex. Now."



"There\'s hardly mood and setting, is there?"



Matt nodded. "Ok." He stood up. "I\'ll be right back. I\'m just going to find a florist open at this time of night, so I can sprinkle your boudoir with petals. I\'d get a couple of slave-boys to fan us with ostrich feathers, but where the fuck I\'m going to find them in Hampshire, I don\'t know. Get a freaking time-machine and go down to Portsmouth or something. Grab a couple on the way to 18th century America. Did Portsmouth do slaves? You\'re out of luck if I have to drive all the way up to Bristol in my time machine."



Mello bit his lip. His gaze was starting to soften. He suddenly snorted out an ironic laugh, shaking his head. "You\'re fucking absurd. You know that?"



"Yes, I am fucking someone absurd. Have you cycled round to a nice Mihael again now?" Matt took a running leap to land on the bed. It bounced wildly under him. He lay spread-eagled on his back. "Arse here. Cuddle now."



Mello twisted around to peer at him. "It would be far easier if we just defaulted to form and..."



"Mihael! Either you get your arse up here and get kissed and cuddled or I\'m fucking off into my study and playing Zelda! Your choice. One. Two. Three. Four."



Mello crawled across to his husband\'s side and was received with an arm around him. "Thank you, Matty."



"You act like I don\'t like kisses and cuddles."



"You don\'t."



Matt kissed him. "Yeah, but I also caught the word \'sex\' in there." He kissed him again, rolling over so he was holding Mello, while their lips met in tenderness. It quickly turned to passion, their hands pawing each other in a bid to remove the remaining items of clothing still on their bodies. Matt wriggled to the side, pulling off his jeans, then a sharp pain cut through his ribcage. "Ow! Fucking Hell was that?"



"Eh?" Mello paused with his hand in the small of Matt\'s back, caught in the act of moving down to grope his backside.



Matt\'s searching fingers had found the culprit. "Handcuffs. I landed on them."



"Ah. Good. You got your pain." Mello grinned.



Matt chuckled, throwing them off the bed. He turned back to look down at his prone husband. "You look happier now." Matt smiled. Mello inclined his head in a half-shrug and reached up to bring Matt back down on top of him. Matt kissed him, lovingly, for a long time. He had many things to say, while Mello was so vunerably receptive to it, but before any of them could emerge from his lips, Mello was pressing his erection against him. The heat was rising and this was no time for talking. Matt felt a burst of pleasure rise up from his balls and their kisses took on a different hue. "Jeans off." Matt kicked them down past his knees and Mello was already tearing at Matt\'s boxer-shorts.



"Mmm, I want to fill you, baby." Mello mumbled, rolling them over, hands pushing down on jeans and boxers alike until Matt was naked. Mello\'s own leather trousers were opened at the flies. Matt pulled on them, stripping his husband, while their kisses rained down, hot and needy. "So fucking gorgeous."



Sometimes Matt believed him. Sometimes he thought that Mello didn\'t see the geek with the red hair and myopic vision, or the green eyes and the freckles. There wasn\'t a modelling agency in the country that would pick Matt to advertise their aftershave or whatever sold beauty these days; but Mello looked at him like they would. Like he was as beautiful as Mello. A match. A partner. Matt didn\'t need to feel beautiful, but right now, he did. He lifted his legs and wrapped them around Mello\'s waist. He felt the hardness tipping his entrance half a second before it was thrust inside him. Matt moaned. "Oh God! Mello! Yes!"



Mello grinned at him, holding him, kissing him. Matt clung onto his husband, returning all intimacy in kind. "Fucking slut." Mello growled into his ear, belying the whole point of their gentleness. "Fucking gorgeous slut."



Matt kissed up to Mello\'s ear, hoarsely whispering into it. "Pretty, pretty Mihael."



Mello made a sound that was halfway between a laugh and a grunt. For all his talk of tender sex, he was pounding into Matt with a ferocity that rivalled any of their more violent escapades. The heat between them rose in waves, until it was over and they lay spent in each other\'s arms. "Te amo, mi bonito, mi guapo, mi cariño amor." Kisses replaced the words forestalling any attempt on Matt\'s part to verbally reply. He did it in kisses until they were both gasping for air and had to slide apart. "Matty." Mello breathed. "Thank you."



"Pleasure." Matt smirked, reaching for his cigarettes. "Erm, thank you too."



Mello\'s breathing sank to normal. He blinked up at the ceiling. "What are you thanking me for?"



Matt reached over him until he hooked a fingertip onto a chocolate bar and slid it towards him. It had been abandoned there a couple of days before, but it still looked good. Matt pulled the wrapper off a strip and pushed it between Mello\'s teeth. "Stop analysing it. Stay in the \'not freaked out anymore\' zone. It\'s nice."



Mello\'s eyes flickered to the side to glance at him, then his hand came up to claim custody of the chocolate. "I\'m not so freaked out anymore."



"Good."



"I\'m going to think more carefully about what I want from my code."



"Good."



"I\'m glad I didn\'t shoot those men."



Matt leaned down to kiss Mello\'s forehead. The chocolate had returned to his mouth, so he couldn\'t kiss him there. "I\'m glad you didn\'t as well. I know that you have killed in the past and I know it eats at you. You\'re still not a bad person, Mihael. I know that you think you are. I guess that a lot of people might look at your history and think you are, but they\'d be wrong. You\'re a good person who had to do bad things to survive. There\'s a difference."



Mello nodded and turned onto his side. His head ended up on Matt\'s chest and the rest of his body curled around, seeking comfort or contact. Matt couldn\'t be sure, but he knew to hold him and to stroke his hair. "I love you, Matty."



"Volim te."



Mello nodded and closed his eyes. It was a few minutes before Matt realised that his husband had fallen asleep. It felt like a compliment, even after all this time, even after having shared a room for most of their lives, that Mello trusted him enough to be this vunerable around him. Matt looked longingly at his jacket on the floor, but it was too far away to extract the PSP from its pocket. Instead, Matt reached out a hand in exploration of the drawer of his bedside cabinet. His fingers found his Gameboy Advanced and he experimentally switched it on. There was no charge. He chewed on his lip and wondered if Mello was so far asleep that he could be removed without waking. Matt doubted it. He gave into the inevitable and turned off the light from the switch above their bed. It felt like hours before Matt\'s dosing woke him enough to feel that Mello had relaxed enough to be prised away. Gratefully, Matt eased himself free and rolled into a cocoon of quilt, then sank into sleep himself.