Midian Evolution

A.N. Double-post. Another in the morning.
***************************************************************************

I couldn’t look away from his eyes. Though I didn’t want to believe myself responsible for the strength and mysterious nature of our bond, I had to believe him. He was an honest person, and he’d never lied to me.

The steady beat under my palm seemed like a ground wire, keeping me from absolute, lightning panic. “I chose you,” I said, my voice very small.

“Yes.” His gaze searched me keenly. “Not once, not twice, but many, many times. You continue to choose me again and again.”

I felt very, very hot. I’d chosen him, yes, but had I really done so as often as he implied? “But, master, I don’t even know what I’m doing,” I confessed.

“I realize it.” He tightened his grip around my waist. “It’s why I didn’t feel angry about it in the beginning, just wrong-footed. Once I understood you’d managed to tie us together, I spent much time thinking about it, and watching you.” He laced our fingers together slowly, drawing my hand up from his heart to his jaw. “You’re an instinctual Midian, which is rare enough, but you exhibit quite a lot of power for your age and newness.”

“And that has something to do with this?” I felt the smooth, smooth skin of his face, my fright slightly abating. “I’m not…hurting you in any way, am I?”

He shook his head. “Not so far.” He shifted a bit, making me lie upon him. “Haven’t you noticed how deeply we interact, Seras? It isn’t normally part of a master and fledgling relationship. I’ve always had to guide my blood offspring for even the simplest of things, and repeat my lessons. It’s why I grew tired of making progeny, why I stopped making Midians in the first place.” He put his hand in my hair, winding it around and around lazily. “I’ve never had to repeat a lesson for you. All you ever fought against was the initial drinking of blood. Which, I might add, I’ve also never seen. A new Midian is usually so ravenous they will take whatever prey I throw at them.”

We were quiet a few minutes. Gradually, my heart slowed to a near-normal rhythm, reassured by his careful and gentle touches.

“So, what does it mean, master?” I asked.

“It means everything and nothing, Seras. Of one thing, at least, I feel certain; we aren’t going far from one another. I feel compelled to be with you, to make contact. You feel the same, don’t you?”

“Yes,” I answered. I’d supposed I’d felt the pull because he was my sire. I’d had no idea I’d done this to myself. “You’re going to get sick of me,” I predicted, feeling fatalistic in the face of all this frightening information.

He laughed lowly. “I doubt it. I’m enjoying having a natural ally with intelligence and spirit. You can’t know how many Midians I’ve made that lacked either quality. I tend to get impulsive and make bad judgment. It’s a weakness that lost me a few wars. And, age doesn’t seem to fix that.”

Again we fell to silence. He continued to pet me, and I continued to grow calmer under his relentless, tender attention. It allowed me to think, to ponder what he’d said.

God. We had a strong bond, one without definition or even boundary.


Master had been sexually abused, repeatedly.


That one really bothered me. I hated that someone had hurt him.

“Did you ever get revenge, master?” I asked.

He stopped petting me a moment. “Against Omoh?” he asked. “No. I comforted myself with the fact that he would never be acknowledged by his father; bastards don’t inherit.”

He didn’t sound as if the past bothered him. I took my own comfort from that. I made a note to myself about child molesters. Alucard had taken me to hunt them, and I would continue to do so. I would make them my specialty.

“Master, I need more prison-bait lessons,” I said.

He laughed. “Very well, Seras.”

“I mean it. I want to hunt the child predators. I want to exterminate the molesters, the rapists, the ones who hurt the old and the young.” I felt very firm about this. Assassinating freaks, ghouls, werewolves and occultists fell into my job at Hellsing, but this meant something to me personally.

“I’ll help you develop your personal code, Seras, don’t worry,” he said soothingly. “Would you like to go out now? Do you need to kill?”

I didn’t need to take life, but the idea of watching him do it made me hot inside. He made death a beautiful exhibition. It didn’t matter how he did it, either. “I’d like to see you kill, master, but I’m not hungry.”

His hand curled in my hair. “What a seductive thing to say,” he murmured. “Even more enticing for the honesty in which you said it, because I know you don’t lie and you mean every word that escapes your pretty lips.”

He liked my lips. I allowed myself a little swell of satisfaction. “Master, why did it make you mad that I shared the last of the O-Negative blood with you on the plane?” I asked.

He pulled my head back by the hair until I looked him in the eyes. “Mad?” he asked. “You misinterpreted, sotie.”

“I did?” The heat in my belly became a hard burn. I couldn’t break our eye contact. My body felt very heavy and languid. The fact that he continued to call me his wife gave me pleasure now. He could make me experience pleasure over anything he wished.

“Yes. I wasn’t angry. I was frustrated.” He leaned to my jaw, lightly biting me right under my ear. “I’m impatient by nature, and your sweet, naive lips spur me to swift action.”

His breath on my skin sent chills down my spine. He always made me feel so alive. I felt more alive with him than I had ever felt while actually breathing.

“You tempt me,” he went on. “I usually just take what I want, but I can’t do that with you.”

“W-why not?” I couldn’t imagine anything preventing my master from just doing as he pleased.

He ran his tongue over my ear lobe, then drew it into his mouth.

Hot, wet, sharp.

Nibble, suck, lave.

I writhed, overwhelmed by heat and desire. It took nothing for him to inspire lust in me. He made me crave him.

Because you deem it so. He trailed hot kisses down my throat, lingering over the first place he’d ever bitten me. I can coax, lure and tease, but the tempo of our mating is entirely up to you, sotia mea. Even now, what I do to you is at your level of readiness. I feel it the moment I go too fast. It’s a pressure, a warning.

You-. “Ahhh,” I gasped aloud as he hit a particularly sensitive place under my chin. You felt it on the plane. That’s why you stopped, why you warned me to remember who was my master.

A last-ditch effort at controlling you. I never did take a subservient role well.

Amidst all the pleasure, it came to me that my master was also my servant. The thought birthed such conflict within me. I grabbed a handful of his silky hair, which had grown considerably in the last few minutes. I don’t want to be your master. I never intended controlling you. I like that you control me. Most of the time, that is, I mentally amended. He couldn’t have complete power.

I know this, Seras. You make it very plain that you enjoy being my possession. Don’t be troubled about it, sweet. We’ll reach equal ground, and then I’ll happily take the reins out of your little hands.

Tears welled up in my eyes. His small endearments had enormous power over my emotions because I wanted him to love me. I needed him to love me.

What will it take to become equal, master? If I could accomplish this, and soon, I could return to the way I wanted things. I’d had to fend for myself my entire life, and out of all the things I’d learned about being his fledgling, I’d come to appreciate not being the one in charge.

He pressed a kiss to the corner of my eye, drinking a bloody tear. I don’t know. We’ll identify when it happens, this I feel certain. One of his hands dipped under my shirt to stroke the skin of my abdomen. Don’t cry. Be happy you have me managed; such a thing should give you the confidence for the submission you want. Because you have nothing to fear, you can surrender in utter safety.

Knowing he spoke truly gave me the strength to overcome my worry. All I needed was that small hope and a little bit of his perspective. I’d not intended to control you in any way.

I fully believe that, sotia mea. He took his lips from me, made me meet his eyes. He sat me upright, using his thumb to wipe away the last of my tears. First and foremost, you are mine. Everything else will fall into place. We have an eternity to figure out our connection. He grinned silently. In the meantime, we’ll eat well and sleep well at Hellsing Manor, and not give a damn about much else. To me, it sounds like the heaven I’m denied.

Once again he made me laugh inside my stressed brain. Looking into those swirling eyes of red-tinted amber, I leaned up and kissed his long, straight nose. If I could give you heaven, master, I would, I confessed.

Alucard, his eyes soft yet intent, smiled at me. I would let you, he said simply.