The Mello Code

It was still dark when Mello felt Matt get out of bed beside him. He blearily noted it, then promptly fell back to sleep. The second time he woke, daylight was streaming through the window. Matt was not in bed. Mello sat bolt upright and listened for sounds from the bathroom. There were none, but there was the distant beat of cyberpunk music coming from downstairs. Mello frowned in suspicion, then wakefulness supplied the date. He pulled back the quilt and grabbed his dressing gown. Rubbing his face and scraping a fingernail into the corners of his eyes to pick out the sleep, Mello made his way down the stairs.



Matt was so awake, at eight am, that Mello vowed to check his pupils at the earliest opportunity for traces of amphetamines. The redhead was also dressed and standing by the worktop grinning at him. "Good morning birthday boy!" The scent of chocolate cake rose from the oven beside him. The empty bowl was in the sink. It was lined with chocolate butter icing. Matt opened his arms and Mello stepped into them. The redhead was already washed and shaved. Mello felt filthy, as he kissed him deeply, tasting cigarettes, toothpaste and coffee. "Ready for your day of doing fuck all?"



"Eh?" Mello blinked. There was something utterly surreal about having his husband awake and perky in his kitchen at this time of day.



"I\'ve disconnected the telephone and the internet connection. You won\'t find either of your mobile phones and don\'t bother stealing mine to find them, I\'ve switched them off. You\'re not contactable today." Matt smirked. "I didn\'t know what time you actually got up, else I\'d have had your breakfast ready, but there is proper coffee brewed ready. Cocopops?"



Mello nodded slowly. "Matt, you\'re starting to frighten me a bit now." He lifted the goggles and peered into the emerald eyes behind them. "Right. You\'re not even high."



"Nope." Matt grinned. "Just been drinking Arabic coffee since 6am. I\'ve been getting the house ready for your big day."



Mello glanced behind himself, half afraid that he\'d missed a banner or something. There was nothing. He turned back, a half-smile flickering across his lips. "Getting the house ready?"



"Disconnecting things mainly, but," Matt raised a finger, "that isn\'t to say that nothing else is going to happen." He planted a kiss onto Mello\'s lips. "Sit down at the table. What would sir like for his breakfast?" Mello was guided to a chair. "I have cereal, kippers, the makings of a full English fry-up, plus my sources tell me that the traditional Croatian breakfast is a pastry and a coffee. The supermarket didn\'t have any Croatian pastries, I looked, so I got French croissants instead. They\'ve got chocolate in them."



Mello grinned up at him. "You\'ve really thought this through, haven\'t you? Is this why you wouldn\'t let me help unpack the last grocery delivery? Who are your sources on Croatian breakfasts anyway?"



"The internet."



Mello laughed. "I love you." He bit his lip. "I\'ll have the chocolate croissants then please." He watched as Matt span away to collect them from the pantry. The redhead stared pensively at the oven. Mello sniggered. "I did deduce as I asked for them that you couldn\'t heat them up without risking your cake sinking. I\'m evil like that."



"Have microwave, will heat." Matt reached for a plate, then glanced at the iPod dock. "Ah, two seconds." He put everything down to switch his own iPod off. Mello\'s iPod was produced from behind the dock and inserted in its place. "Any requests or shall I go with your top 25 tracks?"



"I\'m easy."



"Ok, we\'ll go with the 25 most played rock shit then." Matt winked and took out a mug to fill with coffee. He carried it across then opened the croissants.



Mello sipped his coffee watching in fascination. "Are you going to be like this all day?" Matt bobbed his tongue out at him. "Don\'t microwave the croissants. They\'re much nicer in the oven. I can wait." Mello held out an arm. "I\'ll have more Mail Jeevas-Keehl while I\'m waiting."



Matt laughed and wandered across for another kiss. "I suppose you want a present."



"Got one." Mello licked Matt\'s lips and rubbed a hand across his backside. "There\'s more? I get my football boots now?"



"There\'s loads more." Matt cupped Mello\'s face. "But first, pretty man, I need to induce another of your personalities, because this one is too defensive." His hand slid down behind Mello\'s neck. "Cute, little, pretty thing, aren\'t you?"



Mello snorted. "What?" He shook his head. "You can\'t accuse me of being schizo, then tell me what you\'re up to and expect it to work!"



Matt straddled his lap and sat down on it. "Look at the pretty, big, blue eyes. You are such a pretty man, aren\'t you, Mihael? Pretty, pretty, pretty."



Mello roared with laughter. Tears of mirth filled his eyes. "So the word \'pretty\' is supposed to hypnotically turn me into, what?"



"Volim te. I love you. Te amo." Matt smiled. "With all my heart and soul."



"What?"



"The happiest day of my life was when I married you." Matt nuzzled Mello\'s neck, tiny kisses trailing up to his ear. "It beat even the day I met you and the day I found you again. The day I got to keep you was the most amazing day ever."



Mello felt a shiver pass through him. He cuddled Matt close, holding his back and head. "That is really sweet. That\'s really," Mello smiled, "that\'s really quite nice." Matt was pulling away from him. Mello grinned and let him. "I\'m not sure that \'End of All Hope\' by Nightwish is quite the soundtrack for romance, but you\'re winning so far."



"It\'s your music." Matt wandered into the pantry and came back with gift bags.



Mello smiled. "But I haven\'t vetted the music. I don\'t even know what my most played songs are. Plus some of them will be music I have on for exercise." The bags were placed on the table in front of him. "This is really lovely. I feel bad about forgetting your birthday now."



Matt shrugged, sitting down beside him and lighting a cigarette. "You didn\'t forget mine. If I remember rightly, you refused to forget it despite me begging you to."



"Yes." The dark shadows threatened to encrouch upon the moment. Mello consciously pushed them away. He judged which bag was big enough to hold his boots and grabbed that first. He tore the tissue out and extracted the box. "Nice one." He knocked the lid off and dug into the cellophane. Then sniffed the football boots inside. Matt frowned. "New boot smell. Don\'t you like it?"



"I can\'t say I go around sniffing boots, no."



"You will if I tell you to." Mello grinned and held them under Matt\'s nose. The redhead dutifully sniffed, then just laughed. Mello laughed with him. "I can\'t believe you\'ve disconnected the internet. I give you until noon at the latest."



Matt pushed another present towards him. "I\'ll be strong."



Mello laughed. He picked up the bag and started to open it, but then the song changed on his iPod and Mello recognised the opening bars. He covered his mouth with his hand and stared at Matt. "Erm..."



"What?"



"Nothing." Mello could feel himself starting to blush. Matt sat up a little straighter. His quick mind had already caused him to turn towards the speakers. Mello wondered if he could get away with this being designated an exercise song. "It\'s \'Aquarius\' by Within Temptation."



"Oh?"



The blush was deepening. Mello knew it would get worse when the chorus arrived. Matt was already smirking at him. Mello knew there were ways of brushing this off. In fact, if he hadn\'t reacted, then Matt might not have even noticed it, but it was too late now for that. He stared at Matt, daring him to say a word, as Sharon den Adel began singing, \'I need you, Aquarius, enchanted I will have to stay.\' "It\'s just a song on \'The Silent Force\', it..." Mello faltered as Matt laughed at him. "I\'ve got the whole album. It..."



"It\'s on your 25 most played songs, Mello."



Mello was crimson. "Well, maybe..."



"I\'m very flattered. Thank you." Matt\'s grin took over half of his face. "Awww, look how embarrassed you\'ve gone. It\'s alright. It\'s your birthday. I won\'t take the piss out of you too much." Behind him, the soaring vocals rang out, \'I missed the danger I had to conquer, you made me feel alive.\' Matt reached forward and kissed him quickly. "Would you like me to skip to the next song?"



"No." Mello wanted him to hear it, as excruciating as that might be. Mello found the steel inside and the colour receded from his cheeks. He was able to stare defiantly at his husband, even as it seemed every verse and chorus name-checked the eponymous Aquarius.



Matt rolled his eyes and pointed to the present before the song was even over. "Open it then."



Mello had long since given up on romance where Matt was concerned. He smiled and looked inside the bag. The item inside looked very familiar. "A DS Lite?" He pulled it out and found something else underneath. "A PSP." Mello couldn\'t help himself, he laughed. "Why?"



"Because," Matt shifted in his seat, "you never just chill out. Even when you\'re having a quiet moment, you\'ve usually got a book in your hand. You never do anything that\'s just random fun. I decided that you\'d be far less stressed if you just played a few games."



Mello held one in each hand and stared down at them. His whole body was twitching with mirth and he knew that Matt just wouldn\'t get the joke. Mello was finding it hard to articulate it to himself and he was the one amused by this. "This is so Matt. Only your mind could come up with this. It\'s perfect." He noticed that the DS had a game already inserted. He didn\'t have to remove it to know that it was going to be one of the seemingly endless Mario adventures. It was harder to guess what was in the PSP. Mello checked. It was a football game. "Yay! I\'ve got my own games consoles." He supposed that he ought to play them later, if only to spare Matt\'s feelings. A second thought told him that it might be fun.



"You don\'t like them."



"They\'re unexpected." Mello smirked. "Especially since the house is full of things to play games on and I\'ve never..." A thought occurred to him. "So I get into playing games and suddenly someone in the house has someone to play them with. Clever, Matty. You bought yourself a birthday present." He laughed. "Love you, baby."



"Yeah, but you wouldn\'t touch mine because you know that you\'d never be able to save your game without me seeing your hiscores." Matt tapped the PSP. "You get to play and save. I promise I\'ll never touch it."



"Until the battery goes in yours and you need something to fill the time while it\'s charging."



Matt pushed another gift bag towards him. "This one isn\'t a surprise. You\'ll like it better."



Mello was about to comment on Matt\'s implied slight on Mello\'s potential hiscores, but he thought better of it. While it was possible he could beat Matt\'s, it was uncertain. Matt had been playing constantly since he was old enough to hold a games controller. Mello stared at the tiny bag. "Not a surprise? I only asked for sex and chocolate." It looked large enough to hold two small chocolates or one medium sized one. Mello determined that if that was true, it had better be a really good chocolate. He reached inside and pulled out a folded up piece of A4 paper. He opened it and read the printed e-mail. It informed him that he had $1000 to spend at Lithium. It was a store in the States, whose clothes filled half of his wardrobe. Mello stared. There was no way that Matt should even know about the place. Mello hadn\'t placed an order in well over a year. He glanced up and noticed the redhead\'s smirk. "Have you hacked my computer?"



"No." Matt exhaled the smoke in his mouth. "It\'s for your jacket. You\'d hate anything that I\'d choose, so you\'ve got the money to order one for yourself."



"How did you choose the store?" Mello thought back to deliveries from Lithium arriving at various Mafia hideouts, but they had all been in Los Angeles. There was a memory flash. "I ordered pants from there, when we first arrived in England. They came to your flat."



"Pants? I remember the leather trousers arriving, but I didn\'t realise you ever wore pants. You\'re more a commando man."



"You\'re being deliberately dense now, Matty." Mello smiled. He hadn\'t browsed Lithium\'s website for ages. "So you saw a parcel arrive nearly two years ago, clocked the return address and remembered it now? Your memory astounds me sometimes."



"Thank you. Want a top up of coffee?" Matt leapt up to get one for himself. Mello nodded, watching him go. \'Aquarius\' was thankfully long over. They were mostly listening to Nightwish songs now. "The cake should only be five more minutes, then I\'ll put your croissants in."



Mello smiled. "Thanks, baby." He looked at the three remaining gift bags. "There\'s a lot more here than sex and chocolate. In fact, where is the fucking sex and chocolate?" Matt gestured in a \'keep going\' wave. Mello selected the more fragrant of the trio and pulled the tissue off the top. Inside, as he\'d expected from the smell, were an array of bath-bombs, moisturisers and body lotions. Mello felt like he\'d been through them all, yet kept returning to cocoa butter for his scars. There were new ones here though. He read the packets and jars, opening them to sniff the contents. He caught Matt smiling at him. "You\'d think I\'d have skin like a baby\'s arse by now, wouldn\'t you?"



"Covered in shit and nappy rash?"



"Wrong answer." Mello experimentally dabbed one of the moisturisers onto his left cheekbone. It didn\'t sting. It didn\'t do a great deal to stop the slight itching either, but it smelt nice. "Thank you very much."



"You\'re welcome, lijep."



Mello stared. Matt had just called him beautiful in Croatian. "You\'ve learned my language, haven\'t you?"



"Not yet, moj dragan." Matt smirked. "I haven\'t even been near a \'Croatian terms of endearment\' webpage. I mean before I disconnected the internet."



Mello laughed. He lifted the penultimate gift bag. It was very light. "Am I getting to the sex and chocolate now?"



"Maybe."



He looked inside. There was a single Flake inside. It\'s long, slender shape was notoriously phallic; a fact that had been exploited by the manufacturers in decades of adverts only just on the symbolic side of not being labelled soft porn. Mello reached inside and took it out. He held it quizzically. "Another present for you?"



Matt grinned. "Oh, come on. You perform oral sex on your usual chocolate. I know I\'d pay good money to see what you did to a Flake."



Mello bobbed his tongue out. "Maybe later. If you\'re a good boy." He looked back inside the bag. It was still as empty as it had been before. "So I got a Flake. I asked for chocolate and sex and got a Flake."



"A Flake is chocolate and sex. Any heterosexual man could have told you that." Matt stood and disappeared into the pantry. He returned with a huge box that purported to hold fifty packet of frozen mixed vegetables. He manhandled it onto the table and sat down next to it. Mello rose and peered inside. Rows of Bourneville Dark Chocolate were stacked like gold bullion. "One hundred and fifty bars." Matt beamed. "Now will you eat the Flake?"



"Yes." Mello promised. He leaned down over his husband, licking his lips. "You have been a very good boy." He planted a kiss and let his fingers lightly touch the back of Matt\'s neck. His fingertips brushed the collar and held it. "You will certainly get a performance later on."



"Hurrah." Matt nodded. "There\'s more chocolate in the other bag."



"Oh really?" Mello straddled Matt\'s lap and sat there, his arm reaching back to snag the bag and bring it to them. He peered inside. It was a tube of chocolate lube next to a packet of chocolate condoms. Mello roared with laughter. He pulled out the condoms and rattled them in Matt\'s face. "Contraception?"



"Ok, we\'ve never used condoms in our lives, which was probably wrong considering we didn\'t know where each other had been at the time, but," Matt shrugged, "they\'re chocolate." Matt meant Mello\'s gaze and frowned slightly. Mello kept on smiling, until realisation lit up those beautiful green eyes. "And you\'re Catholic, so you can\'t use condoms."



Mello laughed. "I shouldn\'t worry about it, baby. That\'s ceased to become a problem." He pondered where not having used contraception until now stacked up against the towering stack of his sins. He decided it was a moot point. Even attempting the comparison was darkly amusing. "Love you so much."



"Volim te." Matt patted his thigh. "I need to get the cake out." He looked vaguely worried. Mello kissed him. "Mihael, I wasn\'t going to ask. Did you leave the Catholic Church yesterday?"



Mello nodded. He saw Matt\'s expression and kissed him again. "Get your cake, baby. It smells wonderful." He rose to his feet and held out a hand to pull Matt up. The redhead wiped his mouth as he wandered over to the cooker. "Wiping off my kisses?"



"Did you leave over me?"



Mello pondered the question. He didn\'t want to be drawn into another theological discussion just now, but he did want to reassure his husband. "I\'m still a Christian. I still have faith. Let\'s just say that I\'m considering very carefully what that means. As far as you need concern yourself, you will not be going to classes anymore. That isn\'t even open for debate. You\'re not going." He dashed across to Matt\'s side, drawn by the scent and sight of the chocolate cake on the tray. "Baby, that smells really nice!"



"Keep your paws off it until it\'s cooled enough for the icing." Matt still seemed pensive. "But you\'re alright, aren\'t you, Mihael?"



"Honestly? I feel more at peace than I have for a long time. A weight has come off my shoulders." Mello hoped he\'d found the tone and words to convey how he felt. "I still need to sort out precisely what I do believe but, for now, it\'s enough to know that God exists. Leave it at that, eh, guapo?" He rubbed Matt\'s back. "It\'s all good."



Matt nodded. He reached behind the bread bin and brought out a handful of cards, along with the hard-backed envelope from Hal. "Here you go."



Mello nearly opened the envelope first. It had bothered him since he\'d glimpsed it the other night, but now it was in front of him again, he wanted to buy time. He wanted to guess what it was before he saw inside it. Instead, he opened the first of the cards. It had \'21 Today\' in big shiny letters on the front, along with a little badge for him to wear. He declined to do so. Inside Ann told him that she wished him all the best today and in the future. She told him that she was proud of him and finished with \'God Bless\'. "Aww, that\'s nice." He stood it up on the fridge and scowled at the remaining cards. There were too many. He opened the next. It was from Hal. A picture of a motorcycle racer with the legend \'Happy 21st\' above it. Inside she had simply written, \'happy 21st birthday, love Hal.\' He showed Matt. "No kisses. You\'re safe."



"Shit, were you expecting kisses from the ones who fancied you?" Matt glanced at the two remaining cards.



Mello narrowed his eyes at him, then selected the bigger of the remaining cards. Matt\'s smile, as he turned away to mix chocolate icing, wasn\'t lost on the blond. The card, however, turned out to be from Lauren, Jamboree and Caerleon. Mello couldn\'t even recall the latter child. He found it perturbing that any Wammy child knew his birthday. He wondered if he should applaud their cunning in discovering it or rage at Hal and Ann until they admitted indiscretion. They evidently didn\'t know how old he was though, as there was no mention of 21 anywhere. It was hand-made. \'Sretan Rodendan!\' filled the front cover, in huge, multi-coloured letters. Inside \'happy birthday\' was repeated in every conceivable language, with just a small space for their names. It must have taken them a few hours to colour it all in. Mello was mildly appeased. "Cute." He showed Matt, then placed it on top of the fridge with the others. "Now let\'s see my husband\'s latest attempt at romantic birthday messages."



"You wanted a romantic birthday message?"



Mello ripped open the envelope. The legend had originally read, \'To my beloved wife on her birthday\'. Matt had scribbled out \'wife\' and written \'husband\' over the top. Beneath that were printed the opening lines to William Shakespeare\'s \'Sonnet 18\', edged in pink flowers and gold tressel. It opened, concentina, with the sonnet going on over each leaf. Mello paused at the end and returned to the beginning to read it again. He could barely believe that Matt had chosen this. "Who helped you pick the card?"



"No-one."



"Was it Bubbles? Hal?"



"I chose it myself."



"That\'s very romantic, Mail, thank you." Mello wrapped his arms around him and kissed his cheek. Matt smiled. "You can be charming when you try." In his arms, Matt bobbed his tongue out. Mello reached past him and stole a fingertip full of chocolate icing. Then he continued reading his card. \'Dear M, Happy 21st. Love you lots. M.\' He had written a little pyramid of kisses, then an arrow to them with the label, \'see me to claim in person.\' "Well done. Yes." Mello grinned, though he was secretly touched to the core. "I\'ll have my kisses now when I\'ve opened this." Mello lifted Hal\'s hard-backed envelope. It was still annoying him. He still didn\'t know what was inside it. "Have you opened this?"



"No."



Mello slid his finger under the gummed flap and looked inside. There was another A4 envelope, with a note attached over a smaller card. He pulled them out. The note, in Hal\'s handwriting, read, \'On his 21st birthday, what do you give to the man who has everything? Recognition.\' Mello stared at it, then snatched the note away from the small card. It was a pastel off-white with pale blue trimming. It invited himself and Matt to the Wammy\'s House on December 23rd for a prize-giving event. It flashed through Mello\'s mind that he was the one receiving the prize, until rationality ensued and he arrived at the conclusion that the children were being honoured. That had never happened, beyond the kudos of the ranking system, in his day. There was a post-it note stuck underneath the card. It read, \'Things are changing. Will you speak at the event? The children need to know about their heroes.\' Mello frowned. On one hand, he was touched. On the other, it sounded like Hell on earth. He handed the invitation to Matt.



Matt read it and glanced back at Mello. "Why didn\'t she just pick up a \'phone and ask you?"



"Want to go?"



"No. You?"



"Not really. I\'ll tell her that we\'re busy that night." Mello opened the A4 envelope and slid out the wad of thin pieces of cardboard. The first was a certificate. It bore his name, Mihael Ezra Keehl, and stated that he had twelve GCSEs. They were listed, a variety of subjects, all graded A, dating from a decade ago. His first thought was annoyance that she had been in his files, though he, himself, had never seen this. He slid it to the bottom and was looking at a second certificate. More GCSEs. His real name was on these. They should be secure, under lock and key in the Wammy\'s House archives, not stuck behind his bread-bin. The next certificate was more recent. The next few were GCSEs from his college courses, then there was a leap back in time. He was looking at his NVQs, RSAs and BTecs, then at his A-Levels. "What the fuck?" Mello glanced at Matt, who was peering, nonplussed over his shoulder. "These should be in the files." He shuffled that certificate away and the next one shot wonder through his mind. "I never finished my Becket dissertation. How have I got a degree in English Literature?"



"Congratulations."



Mello felt a little panicky. "I left Wammy\'s House. I didn\'t finish it. You and Roger said you didn\'t even know where it was."



Matt shrugged. "I didn\'t. Honestly, I didn\'t."



"Past tense?" Mello\'s eyes narrowed, turning to face Matt.



"Still don\'t. This is nothing to do with me." Matt uttered a self-effacing laugh. "Roger must have found it."



There was still another certificate. Mello\'s mouth felt dry as he lifted his Bachelor of Arts\' degree to peer underneath. His mind shied from what he read. He swayed backwards slightly into Matt, who raised his hands to steady him. "Not possible." Mello gasped. He was holding an Honorary Doctorate. He was holding a certificate which was telling him that he had a PHD. This slim sheet of cardboard, which was proclaiming him Dr (hc) Mihael Ezra Keehl. Beside him, Matt exhaled a breath that he must have been holding. Mello stared at him. "I don\'t understand."



"That\'s a first." Matt stepped around him. He spoke slowly. "This," Matt tapped the certificate, "says that you," he poked Mello in the chest, "have a doctorate from Cambridge University."



"How?"



"Well, considering that it\'s in International Law, I\'m assuming it\'s because you caught Kira."



Mello felt the world rushing back towards him. "She can\'t give my name out in connection with that! I need to call her. Give me your \'phone."



Matt shook his head. "You lasted 38 minutes without contact with the outside world. No. It will wait until tomorrow. Your birthday request was to chill out and to keep the world at bay and that, Dr Keehl, is precisely what is going to happen."



"Matty." Mello growled.



"No." Matt stepped away. "I\'m putting your croissants in. Sit down and enjoy your degrees."



Mello thought of a dozen arguments, but the certificate was still in his hand. The adult had a lot of questions, which he needed answering right now; but the fourteen year old boy inside him was still feeling the thrill. Mello sat down. He carefully placed each of the certificates down on the table, so he could view them all simultaneously. He hadn\'t quite realised just how many academic qualifications he did possess. He\'d never been sure how they were processed. Roger had dealt with all of that. Mello looked up suddenly. "She\'s done it via whatever system Roger did it. How did Roger do it?"



Matt rose from the oven. "Magic?"



Mello beamed. "Evidently so." He laughed. "Wow! I\'ve got a doctorate! And," Mello quickly counted, "thirty-three GCSEs. Eleven A-levels. Four BTecs. Twenty-four NVQs. Six RSAs. A BA, with Honours, look, and a doctorate."



"You\'re a very clever boy."



"Yes, but before I was fifteen!" Mello began smirking, then his gaze fixed on Matt. "How many have you got?"



"I don\'t know. It\'s not my birthday."



"Have you got a doctorate?" Mello demanded. He wondered why he had never thought to ask before. Matt hadn\'t responded. "You have! What\'s it in?"



Matt set the coffee filtering through again. "Computer Science. They got mine done through Harvard."



"You kept that quiet!"



Matt shook his head, then sauntered across. He bent down to plant a kiss on Mello\'s lips. "Until now, you weren\'t Dr Keehl. There was no fucking way I was going to tell you that I\'m Dr Jeevas. But now we\'re fair and square." He winked. "Chocolate croissants coming right up."