So Many Reasons Why
So Many Reasons 4
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So Many Reasons 4
He seemed
to appear from nowhere, placing a surprisingly gentle hand on Asato’s
shoulder. “Wait. Are you heading to wake Kazu-kun?”
and we have lessons today. And I think
he forgot that the cook put out blueberry muffins and orange juice especially
for us in the garden. I’ve been waiting for a while, he must have
overslept.” Asato was startled both by
Saki’s sudden presence and the softness of his voice. “He likes to watch the
remnants of the moon setting and if he doesn’t hurry he’ll miss it.
his entire life story if the boy didn’t cut him off. “I really like—“
bring him his orange juice and muffin I’m sure he’ll be happy to see me.
how much he likes to read and when I’m sick my eyes are usually to blurry and
sore to read my books so I’ll just go keep him company.
surprise him and make him feel better.”
Asato bounded towards the door from the kitchen that led to the garden
to get his and Kazutaka’s breakfast.
outside the door. “Don’t do that,
Asato.” It was an effort not to gag on
the kindness, and he had to remember to use the boy’s name, not just call him
‘boy’ like he usually did. “It’s better
just to stay away. Grandfather is on
his way up to the house, to look at him.”
serious. I’ll bet he’s scared.
before then? A friendly face.
of the muffins. “We bothw thw that Grandfather
is the only one who can help Kazu-kun.
Even if it is only a little. I
think that’s why he’s scared of him.”
Saki took a bit of the muffin, watching Asato’s reaction.
talking about. He tried to reason it
out. Maybe Kazutaka needed some sort of
shot or something. He was after all
very pale. Maybe his body needed
something it couldn’t get any other way.
That was all. But the fear was
creeping up in his heart, not another one, not someone else he cared about…not
again. He blurted out.
time. It’s good to see him laughing and
acting like a normal kid.” Saki was
barely able to hide the smirk. Asato
was good for someone, but it wasn’t Kazutaka.
The boy had provided Saki with several weeks of almost complete
submission from his younger brother, and all with that silly smile on his
pretty face. It still amazed Saki that
Kazutaka hadn’t taken advantage of his friend yet. If Saki had a friend like Asato when he was Kazu-kun’s age….
what a lucky boy he was, but his loss was Saki’s gain.
singing and chanting…Angel of Death go away…come again some other day…you
are not welcome here…we still have years and years to play.
out. What had he brought on
Kazutaka? What price did the boy have
to pay for being his friend? “I don’t
believe it. I can’t believe it. I won’t
believe it!” Asato said it more to the
demons in his head than Saki.
retort, and instead pulled Asato into a hug.
“We’ve known since he was a little kid, Asato. I can’t believe he didn’t tell you. How cruel of him. But,
I’m sure he had a reason,” Saki pet Asato’s head, trying to offer comfort when
all he really wanted to do was drag the boy off behind the garden wall
and… Not now, Saki.
understanding finally dawning on him.
He looked up at Saki with tear filled eyes. “That’s why you are so mean to him isn’t it?
brother?” A substitute teacher had once talked to him about his fears and
suggested maybe his purpose was to provide comfort to the living not bring
about destruction, at the time it had helped and he drew on the man’s advice
now. Maybe he was here to help Saki
though all he wanted to do was run as far and fast as he could from all of
it. He didn’t want to face it.
he cried than Kazutaka. Saki only had
so much self-control. He dipped his
head down, and exerted all of it he had not to maul the boy.
ruled by fear. There was an entirely
different way to rule over Asato, a way Saki had little experience with, but
was more than willing to use Asato as his test subject.
think.
try harder to pay attention to Kazutaka.
Spend more time doing the things you have in common.
like it if you were his friend not just his brother.” Asato was so earnest to help he’d pushed his own pain aside it
wouldn’t last but he was trying.
with him. Especially after he was so
sick a couple weeks ago.” Saki had to
dig deep. “He gave us all a scare then,
didn’t he?”
bad.” A couple weeks ago.
stay and not disappear before he hurt Kazutaka or Father, the minute he’d let
down his guard and believed he wouldn’t see Suzaku this time, Kazutaka had
fallen ill. He was so sure it was a
coincidence. Mr. Muraki had been quick to
point out that they had been playing in the rain the day before and Kazutaka
had exerted himself too much, a few days bed rest and he’d be fine.
having already been there half a year, he decided to believe the curse was
broken. Asato pulled away from Saki and
ran into the garden. He might have been
sick but Asato had come and triggered the worst of it, he was sure.
handle the strain and the sporadic breathing brought from the crying.
and fell to his knees. Cry it all out,
he told himself, don’t let Saki see, don’t let Kazutaka know.
are.
kneel behind the young man. He gingerly
put his arms around his shoulders. “I’m
sorry. I really thought that Kazu-kun
would have told you.”
pushed Saki’s fake gesture away. “Go
away. Stay away from me, unless you
want to die too.” Where to go now?
There were lots of places he could hide there.
around Asato while he stood behind him.
“Are you threatening me, or is this more stupid curse talk?
Asato’s neck, and focused on suppressing his need to run.
closeness. Not too hard, though.
cursed so they don’t have to take responsibility for their own mistakes.
were cursed.”
not wanting to run just wanting to be hebe sbe safe, be told it wasn’t his
fault. ‘I’m not cursed?” he said
weekly. “I didn’t cause it?”
spoke softly, letting his hot breath fan out over Asato’s neck and ear.
to do with that. And it’s hardly your
fault the human nature is to find a scapegoat for everything that goes wrong.”
letting the soft fabric of his shirt bunch up to reveal just a hint of
mid-riff.
with. It provided safety.
whatever it was the older boy wouldn’t stop doing it.
on suppressing the boy’s fear. He
didn’t necessarily want Asato to be writhing like a whore for it, but he didn’t
want him to run away either. He laughed
softly. “Seducing you,” he replied, hands
slipping under Asato’s shirt.
someone. s"> To be wanted, all the way.
How could this be bad? Isn’t
this what he hoped someone could feel for him.
What he was afraid no one ever would.
Asato. Why shouldn’t we enjoy each
other’s company like the adults we are?”
Saki asked, as he drew Asato’s sweater up, and tried to get it over the
boy’s head.
thought you hated me.” Asato protested
a little though somehow he’d lost his sweater.
“A not just a little, a whole lot.
Uh, I mean, until today you’ve nevven ven said my name.”
nipple, as though he were in the middle of a moral dilemma.
know, with Kazu-kun, and what kind of brother would I be if I got in the middle
of that?” Don’t think about that right
now, Saki. “If you are, I’ll
stop.” A push of power, and he was able
to block any repressed desires Asato may have had regarding Kazutaka.
picture. Yet.
you stop I think I might …I mean, please Saki…I want…I’m not afraid of this I guess
is what I’m trying to say.” Something
was wrong but he couldn’t find it within himself to look for what it was.
away all the loneliness he’d ever felt.
caressing their way down to undo Asato’s pants. “You’re a very pretty boy, Asato. I’m surprised you don’t have an entire harem all your own.”
and let his fingers dance over the bit of exposed flesh.
everything Saki was doing or might do was getting him excited.
guess.”>
force to guide Asato to the ground, and began to work his pants off.
Asato’s hipbones as he tossed the boy’s pants aside. “Promise me something, Asato.
Promise me this can be our secret.
Promise.”
bit. “Why?” He didn’t think it needed to be a secret.
were bad. So maybe this was too…and
what about Kazutaka didn’t he just find out he was deathly ill.
the tangle of his thoughts. “It isn’t
the kind of thing that should be.”
stronger. ‘It’s for my father,
Asato. I’m the oldest son, I’m expected
to marry, and make heirs. It’s just for
a little while. Until I figure out what
to tell him.” Saki looked at Asato
earnestly, hoping it worked.
didn’t feel leteletely right. In fact
he’d rather have nothing at all than that.
He felt the hair on his neck bristle. He sensed warning in his mind.
“No Saki, I can’t help you lose the sadness you have this way.”
himself. “You don’t really want
me. You want somewhere to hide from
your pain. I’m sorry I can’t be that.”
seriously. “But I wonder if Kazu-kun
would feel the same way. He’s even lonelier
than you.” Gray-green eyes narrowed as
they studied Asato’s face.
together and even if I wish we were he’s dying and maybe it’s selfish of me,
but I can’t put myself through that.” Asato completely misunderstood Saki’s
meaning.
let the thought trail off, waiting to see if Asato picked up on his meaning
this time.
put himself together. “I really think I need to be somewhere else right now so
um, I’m sorry Saki but I don’t understand you…but Kazutaka once told me you
were bad and now I think I might know what he meant. I think I’m going to see if Dad came home early.”
listen. I’ll even use tiny words so my
meaning isn’t lost on you… If you turn
me away right now, I may have to go and relieve my frustrations on my poor
sickly little brother. He’s too weak to
run away, and he’s pretty enough to stand in for you.”
your mind, boy. What will it be?”
brother…” Asato cupped a hand over his mouth before he screamed out “Oh my god,
you haven’t already, have you?” He
tried to stop this before he could no longer do anything about it.
bored if you spoiled the fun for them.
“First of all my name is Asato, got it, A-S-A-T-O, and if you threatened
me or Kazutaka again. I, Asato, will go straight to Dad and you will lose not
only your cushy set-up here but probably your trust fund as well.”
penchant for talking went into maximum overdrive.
Who’s away so much, and locked in his study when he is home?
a couple of hours, to over-exert Kazu-kun.
And with his condition, he could get so sick. He might not get better that time. And only you would know why he died. And, it wouldn’t be some stupid curse then, ASATO.
at the ground. “But I don’t understand, there has to be a way to stop
you.” He backed away a step or two.
friend.”
knowing what you can do to stop me, and not doing it. What kind of friend betrays someone like this?”
bother Kazu-kun, now will I?”
back to Saki, “Why do you want to do this to him? To me? Couldn’t you find
someone who w-wanted it from you?”
of Asato’s sweater. “YOU wanted it
quite a bit not that long ago, if you recall.
You were lying naked beneath me.
So why would I look beyond what is right in front of me?”
pushed him back, forcing him to the ground.
“It’s too late for that now, boy.”
it might not be such a good idea. “I
can’t just let you do this, I can’t. I
won’t make this easy for you even if there is no way to get away.”
word, you won’t hurt Kazutaka if you get what you want... tell me you mean it.”
getting it from you, why would I need Kazu-kun?”
the answer. “Then you’ll find someone else to p-p-play with?”
find someone as pretty or prettier than you,” Saki said, kneeling in front of
Asato. “Ok?”
tears and answered. “Ok.”