Lustful Daydreaming

Disclaimer – Don’t own Hellsing.

A/N – Sorry for taking this longgggggg!!! /pouts/ Reason: I am a lazy ass. /sighs/


And nowwwwww, on with the show!

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I look at the lump under the sheets, on the other side of the king size bed and a sigh escapes my parted lips.
My hand almost goes to his back, but stops mid way. I look at my extended hand and bring it back to my naked chest, turning so that my back is against the bed, my arm setting over my forehead, my eyes staring into nothingness.

He was right that time in the restaurant.
No one would ever do the same he did to me. I was ruined, as he so nicely put it.

Especially after the last time… After falling asleep on his chest… In this same bed I am resting upon now.

I remember the feeling of the warm body I loved against mine, and the normal warmth of his manhood inside me felt alien. The moans sound lifeless, his movements are clumsy, his release too fast, my body still begging for more.
The grunted I Love you was a strange, foreign language for me.

Ruined.

I missed the coldness, the harshness of his thrusts. I missed the deep grunts moans and growls, the teasing; the red eyes that seemed to pierce my soul, the orgasm within the orgasm he made me feel, pushing my body to new boundaries of painful delight.

I miss the madness, the long fingered hands caressing my breasts so lovingly, as he bit hard on my neck, the duality of feelings pushing me to the edge of insanity.

I miss the pleasure, given by a creature whose hands can kill me just as fast, just as efficiently as he makes me reach blissful ecstasy.

A month… A whole month.

I really thought about continuing these encounters. Indefinitely.
As long as they were consummated, hidden, in Jack’s total unawareness…
I am not as romantic as too even wish or yearn for him to stay with me… I knew better than that now…

I remember awakening, during the night still, after that delicious rape, if I can call it such, and finding my bed empty…
The bearer of the soft mesmerizing pale skin over which I fell asleep had left.

I inhaled his lingering scent from the pillow, smiling widely.

In some distorted way, it had been a victory for me, having him there, at least long enough for his scent to be trapped on the fibbers of my sheets.

I hugged the pillow, but not lovingly…

My still aching arms in a tight embrace, my nails clawing in it as another deep inhale flared my nostrils, the scent making me groan low in my throat.

A wave of intense erotic nature hitting me, approval and amusement intertwined in it, making me think for a while that the vampire’s probing inside my mind had not yet cessed…
My lips contorted in a sly grin, mimicking his to some extent.
Was he still there?

___________
Flashback
___________
- Alucard...? – I whispered, almost sing-songed.

My eyes roamed the room, searching for a hint of him. Nothing.
I propped my torso up on my elbow, my eyes again scanning the relative darkness of the room.

- Alucard?

This time, my tone a little louder.

I pout.

It was just my imagination or wishful thinking perhaps...
He would have appeared by now if he was here...
Or if he wanted to be with me.

I let myself fall over the pillow, my arms again going around it.
I should be ashamed, angry. I should be cursing him for cursing me. I should claw his face until it bleeds, bite him...

My eyes close as the images come to me, just as I was living them right now...
And the stupidest thing is...
I like it...

What the hell was happening to me?

What was I turning into? If his pain arouses me?

I am so confused...

A rustle in the chair on the far corner of my room is unheard by me as I turn to the other side, a loud sigh escaping my lips, my face buried in the pillow.

A gasp from me, my face coming up, my eyes wide.

Shit, Shit, Shit!

- Jack! Oh my God I forgot about Jack!

I whimper, my face falling again over the pillow. How could I have forgotten about him? Crap!

My mind whispers me the reason, again accompanied by some very delightful visuals...
Rain falling and animal grunts...
Guilt hitting me in the gut, making me whimper once more.

I sigh, rolling to my back, eyes staring at the pristine white ceiling of my room.

Ok, let’s get practical.

The vampire is not going to leave me alone.

I can’t leave Jack...

The idea that hit me in the restaurant makes a comeback.
The vampire will not stay forever... He said so himself at my unspoken question.

So...

What if...?

A smile sets on my lips...

What if I can have both?
I frown for a while.
The vampire was quite aggravated with his knowledge of my betrayal, as he put it...
But he was rational wasn’t he? At least I hope he is...
I would not fight the feelings I have for him... But he would have to accept Jack...

My smile broads, my mind resolute and pleased at my solution.

I will continue… As long as I can be with Jack… Because the vampire is sex... Totally erotic, arousing, hard, ravishing yet blissful sex.
But I need Jack for my heart…
The vampire has a hold on my body, carnal desires…
But that was not enough.

- I will continue this… Has long as I can keep Jack.” - I whispered to the seemingly empty room, before my eyes closed, my mind emerged in darkness as I fell asleep again.

___________
End Flashback
___________

I gave Jack a completely stupid excuse. In which he believed without question. Sometimes it is even sad the faith he has in me... I am such a bitch.

Sex slave.
I’ve become the demon’s sex slave... He is a drug for which I crave... A physical addiction, that hurts when not satisfied. A longing that turned me into a completely unbalanced fool, my emotions shifting dangerously, going to extremes.

Patient Waiting.

I waited for a week... A whole week after the alley incident, running from Jack’s more pressing caresses, taking up the argument that the “pain” that attacked me in the restaurant had made its comeback.

Well, it wasn’t entirely untrue was it?

Desperation.

The weekend came and I convinced Jack to go and visit her mother... Which he did, leaving me alone for two whole days.
I waited... And waited... Declining each and every invitation for dinner Jessie made.
I even stoop as low as to call out his name, while lying in my couch, summoning him, calling out for him, for his touch, the only touch my body seemed to accept.
And nothing...


Insane Craving.

I menstruated... I almost reached and crossed the line of dementia; my body even more receptive to stimuli... The sexual tension that I provoked myself whenever I remembered his touch driving me wild...

Pure Anger.

Was this it then? Did he left for good after showing me a little bit of what I could call affection? Without even saying something?
I took the stairs that day, precisely two weeks and four days after the last time I tasted the vampire’s lips.


___________
Flashback
___________
- Damn him, Damn him, Damn him...! – I grumbled, every time I took another step on the stairways.

I was felling hyperactive, pissed out of my mind and... aroused.

- You are an ass girl!

I cursed myself: I had taken the stairs with the delusional idea that it would tire me, but it was worse. Every time that my thighs rubbed each other, a small prick of pleasure made my tensed core pulse...

I felt the moistness on my underwear, my fists clenched as well as my teeth.

- Stupid arrogant vampire! – I hissed. – I wish that you go out in the sun and get that little ass of yours burned to a freaking crisp!

I get to the door marked three and open it in one strong pull, striding to the hall, the door closing being me with a resounding thud.
My hand dives to the inside of my bag, searching for the keys that also seem to be plotting against me.
I growl in annoyance, my hand frenetically going around the bottom of my bag.

I catch them, when I hear a soft cough behind me.

I turn around quickly, my blazing eyes setting on the fourth floor neighbour.

No, no, no!
Sorry, that’s not right!
My eyes set on the annoying bitch of the fourth floor!

She just kept staring at me, her hands fidgeting nervously.

- What?! – I growl low in my throat, impatient.

- Miss...

A gulp from her, and even a little bit of fear in her shaky voice.
I roll my eyes at her, sighing heavily.

- I just came here to ask... err... if you have some sugar you can lend me...

I sense my anger subsiding... God...Poor woman... I must have scared her to death...

- Because I went to the fifth flour neighbour... But they were fighting! I could hear it for a while... It seems he has an affair with the...

A growl from me, anger again rising.

- Ohhh For God’s SAKE!!! SHOD OFF YOU LITTLE GOSSIPER!!! GO GET YOURSELF A FREAKING LIFE! GO GET LAID, MAYBE THEN YOUR MOUTH WOULD BE FILLED WITH SOMETHING MORE INTERESTING!!!

I turned around, not even having time to take in her obviously shocked expression, put the key on the door and opened it, slamming it shut right after.

My chest heaving, my eyes bloodshot.

A small nervous giggle makes way out of my lips. My bag falls to the floor, the giggle turning in to a full fledged laughter, hysterical.

I fall with my knees to the ground, face facing up, tears starting to roll from my eyes as the laughter becomes wails and sobs. I lean forward, forearms on the ground, as I continue crying.

I put my hands on the ground, crawling over to the bench on the hallway, my arms crossing over the edge of it, my face burying in them.

- I am going insane! And it’s all his fault... Damned prick. – I said, between sobs and sniffles. – Damned red eyed prick...

A flash of the insane crimson eyes comes to me, making me whimper and press my face on my crossed arms; my womanhood responding to the image again.

- Why? Why did he left me yearning for his touch after all that crap that I was his, after “punishing” me for being with the man that was supposed to be the only one in my bed?

The realisation hits me like a ton of bricks... That was it!
I never had been with Jack after that happened!
Maybe if I...

A sly grin appeared on my lips as my hand reached behind me to take the cell out of my bag.
I look at it, pondering for a few moments on what I was planning... Oh... The immorality of it should have made me sick...

I flip the cell open, my eyes shinning with mischief and excitement.

Fuck morality! Yay slutiness.

- Jack? My place, right now.

A scarce quarter of an hour later I hear a knock on the door, my heels clicking strongly on the floor.
I open the door, seeing his smiling face.

He is about to open his mouth when I grab him by the collar of his jacket and pull him inside, closing the door as my own lips close over his, my tongue shooting out and entering his slightly opened mouth.
I break the kiss, my lipstick all over his lips; his eyes dazed looking at me, surprise written all over them.

I take his lips again with mine, my hand on his collar pulling him against me, my other hand going to his hair and fisting on the blonde strands.
His hands go around my waist and I feel him pressing himself on me... I smirk wildly when I sense the bulge in his pants, my mind overruled by lust by now...

I start pulling him to the couch, my hands flying both to his jacket and unzipping it, his hands groping my breasts. I moan in the kiss, breathing fast.

I break the kiss and turn us around as soon as the back of my legs hit the couch, my eyes burning as I push him over it, him falling down, almost laying.

My legs straddled his lap, my hands flying to his bulging fly and working the zipper and buttons, eagerly, low grunts coming from me, a gasp from him.

- Hun...?

I take his erection in my hand, my face coming down on his, half lidded eyes.

- Shut up! – I hissed, stroking the warm hardness once, a moan emerging from him as he closed his eyes.

I straighten my torso, my other hand pushing my skirt up as I see him opening his eyes and looking at me with a strange mixture of fear, bewilderment and excitement.

The hand goes down after tugging the fabric of the skirt up to my waist, pushing my moist underwear to the side, my other hand guiding his pulsing member to my dripping wet lips.
I impaled myself in one swift move, his hands clenching at my waist as he gasped once more and then moaned against the middle of my breasts that were now smashed on his face, the sound vibrating on the skin and making my nipples harden painfully.

My forearms set over the backrest of the couch, my head snapping back as I moaned loudly.

I pushed my torso back with my arms, hands now clenching on the top of the backrest, my hips starting their bucking with abandon.

-“ I hope you can feel this vampire. I really hope you do. Come now, COME! Stop me. Punish me.”

I feel Jack’s grip on my waist trying to set a slower rhythm. I look at him and growl, my hands going to his and clasping his wrists, which I slammed against the backrest, my body slamming down on his, his hardness again engorged deep within my walls as I continue the crazy rhythm. I hear his moans, my eyes closed, eyebrows furrowed.

-“I am fucking over our couch vampire.”

I feel Jack tensing underneath me, his own hips pulling me up as his muscles contracted, a loud groaned scream coming from him, my name reverberating on the walls of the living room. I continued my bucking.

One.

- A...

Two.

- Lu...

Three.

- Cardddd...

Whispered hisses; husky and intelligible to the still dizzy man underneath me.

I fall over him, my forehead setting on his shoulder, tired, empty. Jack’s arms go around my waist, hugging me as I feel his lips setting over the fabric of my shirt, on my shoulder. So... lovingly.

I feel my eyes filling with tears at the realisation of what I just did.
I used him.
I used Jack.
With the intense sexual tension now quelled, my motives seemed so... dirty. I felt dirty.

I feel his chuckling.

- And I thinking that you didn’t want me anymore... – He whispered, his voice a little breathless still. He tightened the hug. – I missed you so much...

Pang in my heart. A claw squeezing my chest. Tears finally escaping my eyes.

- Hun?

Jack’s concerned voice reached my ears, his hands on my shoulders and pushing me back for him to be able to face me.

I lifted my head, my blurry vision seeing his worried expression. Oh God... I just want to die. My head falls again on his shoulder.

- Dear, what’s wrong?

I sniffled. This had to stop. I couldn’t continue this... He loved me for God’s sake! He didn’t deserve this.
He shifted in the couch, making us lay down, his arms cradling me.

- Are you afraid I didn’t like it? Hun, I love you... I am happy! I thought you didn’t care for me anymore... You seemed to be running from me... I love you... What’s wrong? Tell me...!

I love you... He loved me...

- Nothing’s wrong Jack... I just... Missed you too.

___________
End Flashback
___________

Resignation.

A week and a half passed, my emotions calm. I finally understood that the vampire wasn’t coming back. And probably it was for the best.
Although I still miss him.
Although the love making doesn’t satisfy me like it used to.
I guess it would never will again.
But at least I have Jack’s love.
Even if it is not enough.

A month.
I sigh again.

My left leg flexes, the sheet sliding over my right one and hem of it grazing my left inner thigh.
I feel myself shiver... The cold sheet reminds me of the vampire’s touch.
I remember the glove I still have, in the first drawer of my bedside table and a thought passes my head.
I blush, my eyes closing, my reasonable self scolding me for even thinking about it.
I open one eye, my head tilting to my right side, looking at the drawer…

- “Just a little… Just feel it a little…”

My left hand goes to the drawer as I think this.
The sound of the drawer opening makes me flinch and look at Jack over my shoulder.

He didn’t move.

I look at the small gap I managed to open, and my fingers are about to slither in when again my mind seems to stop me.

-“This is wrong... So damned wrong...”

Meanwhile, as my mind was scolding me, my fingers reached the silky fabric and I close my eyes...

“Just a little draga mea...”

My fingers capture the fabric between them and I slowly pull it out, my eyes still closed. My back again on the bed, the hand that holds the glove coming to my chest, my head facing Jack.

I open my eyes.

I see the even movement of his breathing. He is still asleep.

I could get up...
I could go to the bathroom, maybe the living room, to the couch where we first met and go ahead with the little perversion of feeling the glove on me.

But something impels me to stay here...

Reminisce the arousing feeling of having him here so close, unaware of this perversion that is already making my core throb in expectance.

“There is no moral in the land of pleasure...”

I bring the glove to my lips, the soft sensation making me shudder, my lips parting and the tip of my tongue sliding out between them and touching the fabric.

In my head it’s the vampire’s skin I taste... Soft cold and perfect...

I take the glove down, over my neck, collarbones, my skin goose bumping as I continue further down, the silky fabric over the valley of my breasts, my eyes half lidded, my back arching towards the feeling, my lips pouting when I can not feel something akin to a touch... only fabric.

“Put it on...”

My right hand comes to the one that is holding the glove, and I put it on, eyes closing and a small sigh as I feel the fabric sliding over my hand, encircling it.

My eyes open and I stare at my now gloved hand, smiling slightly at the discrepancy in sizes.
His fingers are longer than mine...

The image of his hand encircling my breast, his thumb, rubbing the hardened nipple forcefully make me sigh again, eyes fluttering close and my chest impelled forward, craving for a nonexistent touch...

“Touch yourself...”

My right gloved hand comes to my right breast, satisfying for a while my crave of feeling something...
I squeeze it softly, a breathless moan, a harder squeeze, my core responding violently.
My left hand clenching on the sheet and pulling it, making it slide over my propped up leg, my whole body now uncovered, greeting the coldness of the air like its a long lost lover, goosebumps painfully tugging at my skin, my nipples standing in attention.

I rub my hand hungrily over my swollen breast, my back arching once more, my lower lip trapped between my teeth as I try to stifle and upcoming grunt, eyelids fluttering.

“Lower...”

An upwards rub on my breast, until the tip if my fingers touch my neck...
Palm spread on my collar, going down in between my breasts again, the silkiness of the fabric making my half lidded eyes close once more.

This is not my hand...

It’s his, softly coming down and then to the side of my midriff, under the fold of my right breast, thumb brushing the mount of soft flesh.

It’s him touching me...

His eyes are staring into mine although he is not here...

“Lower...”

I continue my little perversion, now even worse as I think of the demon doing these things to me...
My gloved hand sliding down, fingers first, over my abdomen, spread, palm pressing my own skin...
My other hand sets on my left thigh, caressing it, up and down, long nails scratching my over sensitive skin, my lips parting and a shaky breath making me tremble.

“ It’s calling out for it... To feel it... Pulsing... Awaiting... Aroused... Touch it...”

The feeling of the silky fabric that clad my hand, reaching my navel, makes my legs tense up, anticipating this same feeling over my wet core.
The hand on my thigh slides to the inner skin, pushing my leg aside a little, like I imagine his would do.
My right leg, that was flexed over the bed, straightening and parting as well, dangling over the edge of the bed, making room for the downing gloved hand.
I feel myself heaving, my tongue licking my lips in nervous anticipation...

My tongue being his lips over mine...

The wet pink muscle shoots out, claming a mouth that isn’t there, wanting to taste a cold tongue but being greeted by cold air.

“Soon...”

A small moan rumbles in my chest, as my middle gloved finger hits the smoother flesh between my legs, the bare hand coming up to my knee and again pushing it aside, as the gloved finger dwells on my pleasure knob.

My hips bucking once against my hand, finger sliding over my folds, teasing my moist entrance.

My neck stiffening, pushing my head against the pillow, my eyes rolling back.

My tongue violently sliding out my mouth, again in search of his, a whimper elicited by my frustration of not finding one to greet mine.

“Just a little more...”

The rubbing gets more intense...
I am panting, trying to ease my troubled breathing so I don’t wake the sleeping lump on the other side of the bed.
Another finger joins the one on my pulsing clitoris, my right leg sliding completely, the back of my knee on the edge of the bed, the tip of my toes touching the ground, the foot on the bed arching, toes pressing on the soft mattress.

“Faster!”

I fell my body tensing up, the muscles of my inner walls contracting, my back arching painfully, my teeth again biting down on my swollen lower lip.
I feel it coming with each stronger circular rub of my gloved fingers, making me go even faster.
Small intakes of air trapped on my chest as I feel that familiar wet warm hand caressing the nape of my neck, my eyes rolled back, my arm loosing its strength, the other one going up, hand fisted.

It is about to pummel the mattress when I feel my wrist being encircled by a cold soft hand, making me stop forcefully; my toes loosing the ground underneath them as I feel hard coldness against my back, pushing me up.

A hand on mine over my knob, fingers replacing mine as the rubbing continues, stronger, my neck leaned back.

I gasp and moan, the hand on my wrist leaving it and clamping over my mouth. Soft strands of hair caressing my cheek, a small grunted ush as again the blissful sensation that makes my walls spasm madly envelopes my body.

Fingers sliding inside me and patting within my quivering walls, my body shaking and then relaxing as another moan is muffled by the cold hand over my lips.

A leg underneath my propped up one, knee on the back of mine, keeping the now limp member up, sliding down slowly, my breathing returning to as normal it can be under the circumstances.

My back is pressed on a hard chest, for I recognise it now; my backside nested between hipbones, the nape of my neck over a shoulder.

A shift at the side of my head, the hand on my mouth sliding down over my chin, neck and collar, cupping my left breast.

Fingers exiting me and sliding over my gloved hand, fingers intertwining and pushing it up, setting over my navel.

Soft cold lips setting on my jawbone in a tender open mouthed kiss.

And that unique arousing scent reaches me.

- Alucard...

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OMG! Cliffy! /tries to dodge rotten tomatoes/
Sorryyyyy!!!!
I was taking too long to update so I thought of splitting this into two separate chapters... Because yessss!!!!! It isn’t finished yet! /cackles/

I got so many reviews... /watery eyes/ So many heart warming reviews, so I decided you guys deserved a treat!
It is really amazing to receive so many good reviews in my first AFF fiction... I am soooo HAPPY! /wipes happiness tears/

Thank you,

Lots of love from this side of the Atlantic Ocean.

Kiss Kiss

Cleo.