Fear

Thank you Meikaa-chan, Deep Serenity, Niamh and NightSkyLight for reviewing, and any of my other fans that I might have missed.

If you don't like my writing? Then don't read it. Period.

Anyone who does like my writing, please R+R. You know I love your reviews! ^_^
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~*Fear*~

~Chapter 4~

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Her sobs cut at Taiki like flying knives. Clumsily turning on the water for the sink left-handed, he turned up the hot water to the hottest he could. He had an overpowering urge to try to cleanse himself of what he'd done.

Once the basin was full, he slowly lowered his hands into the scalding hot water. Immediately they began to blister and redden, but he didn't take them out. He let them soak for a good twenty minutes or so, until he realized that the water was getting cold and he drained the sink and filled it again.

Twice more he repeated this. When he realized that wasn't working, he began to rub at his hand. He could still feel the sensation of her juices dripping off his hand. He had to stop it somehow.

Finally losing his patience, he sank the nails of his left hand into the raw, red skin on his right hand and ripped it until it bled. When he ran out of skin to rip on the back of his hand, he simply turned that hand over and ripped at his palm too.

His eyes spilled with tears. They fell onto the gaping wounds on his hand and the salt in them burned the gashes. Finally he stopped, not because he realized how much he was hurting himself, but because he was crying so hard he couldn't see. His hands lowered back into the basin, staining the water a pale red colour. Not only had he turned his right hand into a bleeding mess, he'd also bent back three nails on his left hand. Those were bleeding too.

He sank to his knees, his hands pulling out of the basin and alighting on the bathroom floor. Crimson blood pooled out of his wounded hand and on the floor at the young Senshi's knees. He shook violently, his traitorous mind making him relive the horror he had done over and over again. He ran his left hand through his hair, gripping at it as if he were going to tear it out. How was he going to put this right?

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Yaten heard the door to her room creak open. She drew a deep breath, lifting her head as much as she could to see who it was. Seiya's groggy and confused face greeted her. "Yaten?" His voice was soft, he'd probably woken up at the sound of her screams. "You...Oh my Goddess..."

His eyes widened when he saw the state she was in. Naked, crying, bound to her bed so she couldn't even cover up. It took him a few moments to make the connection. "The dream...who was it?! Who did this to you?" He picked up the blanket laid across the foot of her bed and covered her up, then began to work on the fabric strips binding her hands to her bed.

She was too upset; she tried to tell him, but she choked up again and began to cry harder. Seiya, realizing she was in no state to tell stories, shushed her and continued loosing her hands. When that was finished, he moved on to her feet. These were tighter than the bonds on her hands, probably so she couldn't move away when whoever it was attacked her. After nearly five minutes of struggling with the knots, he finally hunted down a pair of scissors and carefully snipped away the strips.

When he'd finished, she sat up and massaged her ankles; they'd been rubbed raw by her struggles. She flinched when his arms slipped around her shoulders and began to rub. When she really realized it was Seiya, the relief of his aura as opposed to Taiki's against hers made the tears flow again.

"Now, can you tell me who did this?" Seiya murmured, voice gentle. Yaten nodded, wiping the tears from her face. It took her a full minute of deep, steady breaths before her voice was even enough to say anything.

"T-Taiki."

Seiya's hands stopped rubbing her shoulders. He leaned down a little, putting his head closer to hers. He could have sworn she just said...no...she couldn't have. "Who?" He asked.

Yaten looked up at him, the hurt in her eyes really registering. She pronounced the name clearly so there could be no mistake. "Taiki." She repeated, much to Seiya's surprise. He gently took ahold of her chin and held her gaze with his own. "You're kidding."

Yaten shook her head, tears welling up in her eyes again. "No..."

"Why??" Seiya was completely baffled. And angry. What the hell had he been thinking?!

Yaten shrugged, keeping her eyes down. "He...he...told me...he loved me. He s-said that's why h-he was d-doing it." She covered her face, squeezing her eyes shut. "He...He told me h-he was g-going to...to p-prove that h-he loved m-me by r-raping me."

"That..." The black-haired Senshi felt his temper blaze, but he also felt seriously confused. Could he imagine Taiki, the most level-headed one of them all, suddenly going insane and violating one of them? Not really. But he was inclined to trust Yaten at the moment; she didn't seem like she was in a state to lie to him.

The silver-haired teen pulled her knees up to her chest and huddled up, almost as if trying to protect herself from the memory of what had happened. Seiya hugged her, trying to be as comforting as possible. It wasn't easy; comforting was normally Taiki's department, but he wasn't there, and if he had been, Yaten probably wouldn't let him near her.

"Listen, I'm going to go find Taiki and talk to him." And maybe I can find out if this isn't just a big misunderstanding... Seiya stood and walked over to the door. Taking Yaten's robe off the hook, he threw it to her. "There you go."

Yaten gave him a watery smile as she slipped her arms into the robe's sleeves. Seiya smiled back and tried to prepare what he was going to say...or yell...to Taiki when he found him.

Well, he didn't have to go far.

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The door opened. Taiki didn't even acknowledge the newcomer, he merely continued on sobbing. His hand bled sluggishly now, his immune system trying to slow the bleeding so the healing process could begin.

"Taiki?" The voice was Seiya's, concerned and shocked. The auburn-haired Senshi had never had to look up to look into Seiya's face, but with his body nearly bent double, he had to this time.

"S...S-S-Seiya?" Taiki sat up a little more, revealing the damage to his hands. Seiya had to cover his mouth to keep from either shouting his alarm or throwing up. The damage was extensive; it looked like Taiki had been trying to claw his hand open. "Goddess! Taiki, what the hell did you do to your hands?!"

Taiki looked down at his injured hand, seeming to only now realize how badly hurt he was. "I...I was...t-t-trying....to c-cl-cleanse mys-self." He stared at his hand as if he'd never seen it before, running his less damaged fingers over the gashes.

Seiya blinked, then realized it. Oh. He had been trying to wash away what he had done...and seemed to have gone a little overboard. Ouch.

"Here...let me clean that up for you." Seiya gently took his friend's injured hand and rubbed it down with a damp washcloth. He then stood and reached for a bottle of disinfectant. Rummaging around in the cabinets as well, he found a package of gauze bandages. These he used to tidy up Taiki's bleeding hand.

Wincing as the disinfectant stung his wounds, Taiki let Seiya clean up his hand. Only when the youngest Senshi tied off the bandages did Taiki find the strength to pull away. He rubbed at his newly-bandaged hand a little, sighing when he realized he couldn't feel her anymore.

"It...It wasn't me." He murmured softly, still staring at his hand. Seiya looked up at him. "What do you mean, Taiki?"

"I didn't rape her." He replied softly, wincing as his said it. "It wasn't me. It was him."

"Him?"

Taiki sighed, trying to find the words to explain. "I..." He began, then paused.

"Taiki, just say it."

"A f-few weeks a-ago, I...I somehow aquired a...a v-voice...in m-my head. I can't r-remember how, but it was j-just somehow...there. A..a few times o-over the past weeks I...I've been waking up to f-find I've missed a day or s-something. He's been t-t-taking c-control of m-me, l-learning how I act. He...he did it...he raped her. He locked me away in a corner of my mind and made me watch." His eyes filled with tears as he relived it again. "I...I c-couldn't do a-anything to s-s-stop h-him. He gave m-me b-back control after he w-was d-d-done...but b-by then it w-was too late." He pressed his bandaged hand to his face to try to stop the tears. "She h-hates m-me now...she thinks I w-would hurt h-her. But I w-wouldn't, Seiya! I wouldn't! I would n-never hurt her!"

"Shh, shh. Taiki, calm down. I believe you." Seiya held his best friend's shoulders in an effort to stop his shakes. Suddenly, something came back to him, something Yaten had said. "Do you?"

"Do I w-what? B-believe me?"

"No, no." The black-haired senshi shook his head. "Do you really love her?"

"Who? Y-Yaten?" Taiki's violet, red-rimmed eyes blinked. He sighed, looking down at his hands again. "I thought I d-did." He murmured, his head still down. "I thought I l-loved her. But after what he w-was able to make my b-body do to her, I don't know if th-that's love, or just l-lust. Infatuation. W-whatever you want to call it." He blushed, keeping his eyes down.

"Well, no, that isn't. Not what he did to her." Seiya agreed. "But how you feel about her? Is that love, d'you think?"

"I d-don't know." Taiki shrugged. He squeezed his eyes shut as more tears welled up in them. "I just wanted t-to tell her how m-much I c-cared ab-bout h-her. I never wanted this. Never. He...h-he took my wish and...and...p-perverted it. And now she...she'll never trust me again. Not the way she used to."

At this new realization, he broke down completely. Seiya hugged him, partly so he wouldn't have to see how broken Taiki looked. He really did care about Yaten...and unfortunately, everything he'd said was pretty much right, if he'd been reading Yaten correctly.

He'd just have to figure out a way to make Yaten see that this was the real Taiki. Somehow.

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**sniffle** How's he gonna do that? I know, I know, not a lot happened in this chapter, but this was supposed to be posted right with Chapter 3. Unfortunately, my family somehow blew out the network, so I can't upload this until it's back up. T_T

YAY! Network is back up! And I have now updated. ^_^ This was a looooooong chapter...it originally wasn't so long, but I wanted to throw in Yaten's point of view there. The original had just Taiki's POV.

Anyway, see you all next time! It might take a little time, though...I'm still in the middle of re-writing chapter 5.