Sex is Comedy

Oh my god people! It’s been two year’s since I wrote this fan fiction! Guess what, I’ve come back to finish it. The lack of comments on it was discouraging, but now I’m driven to complete it. You have Thank my new pals at Ohayo con and there love for Fan fiction. I really want to impress them! Also, I have a better word processor and my writing skills have improved. I might go back and fix the other three chapters. I noticed all my errors! So embarrassing! Okay... I disclaim Prince of Tennis and all that jazz.


Chapter Four


Oishi and Momoshiro chased the strange man down. They were gaining fast. The stalker looked back and saw them coming at him. He panicked and went faster. “STOP!! Stop right there!” Oishi screamed out. “What did you do to our friends!!?” Momoshiro said in an angry tone of voice. The stalker was making an odd screaming noise now. But he was slowing down, fast.

Oishi and Momoshiro tackled the man. He was a tiny follow; it didn’t take much to subdue him. At first Momoshiro that it was a kid, but it wasn’t. The guy smelt like gross after shave. “Where is our friend!!? What did you do to him!!?” He took hold of the man’s collar and started to shake him. “Who are you? Why have you been following Echizen?” “ Momo! Calm down your too rough!!” Oishi was off of the man, he was now trying to pull Momo off of him. “ IF YOU HURT RYOMA.. I’ll kill you!” “MOMO!” Oishi yelled,” Get a hold of your self!” He had to smack Momoshiro on the head. “OWWW!! Oishi-sempai!” “ You’re not going to get anything out of him if you’re choking him!” Momoshiro looked down and it seemed that the man had fainted from fear.

Just then Oishi noticed something in the stalker’s hand. “ Is.. that.. A tennis racquet?”


Meanwhile~


Ryoma and Eiji were running down the street towards Tezuka’s house. They were to far a head to hear the noise behind them selves. The two boys were so scared that they didn’t stop till they got to there bucho’s home. Eiji panted and grasped his chest, ”Hoiii….he was following us. But he’s not there now. I think we’re safe.” Ryoma was panting a little. “ What.. Does that.. guy wants with me!!” Ryoma sighed and sat down on the side walk.


“ This night.. has been the worst. First.. I have a fight with Momo- sempei. Then I saw Kaidou and Inui..I don’t want to go there. Then you in a dress.” “ Wait a minute..Inui and Kaidou, you saw what?” Eiji’s expression changed into an evil smirk. “ Come on Echizen, what happened!” Ryoma looked as if he was in pain. “ Eiji-sempei! That none of your business!”

“ Hoi Hoi!!! That’s where you’re wrong! Kaidou has been insulting me ever since he realized that I and Oishi are steadies. If it’s so hard to say.. and so privet.. then It is what I suspect it to be! Isn’t it Ryoma? They were sexing each other up, weren’t they?” He was now badgering Ryoma. The prince just gave an annoyed look,” They were in the bushes at the park!!” He screamed out, pushing Eiji away. He was under a lot of stress and Eiji’s hyperactive behavior wasn’t helping.

“ The bushes? Oh my kami! Ha-ha.. that’s a riot.” “ I hit Inui with my racquet, I thought he was the stalker.” Eiji was now laughing harder. “ They must’ve been doing so late night training.. get it!!” Eiji had to wipe the tears away from his eyes. “ Oh.. I’ll make that viper pay now. I’ll give him a nice nick name.. like Homomushi.” The red head started to laugh hard again.

“ Eiji-sempei..” Ryoma gave a dejected sigh. “ You need to mature more.” Eiji just stuck out his tongue. “ You know Kaidou wouldn’t stand for that.. you’ll get hurt. Not even Oishi-sempei would be able to stop him. Eiji gave another pout, “ Just because he’s a tough brute he gets away with calling me names. I totally need to get back at him. I need to teach him those things aren’t nice. You don’t treat your teammates like that.

Ryoma sighed again,” Maybe you should talk to him on a personal level and tell him that. It’s more mature then just picking on him back.” Ryoma dusted off his uniform. “ Ochibi.. your right about that.” Eiji rubbed his chin. “ But I still want to call him Homomushi, at least once.” Ryoma shook his head, “ I’m going in now.”

Ryoma opened the gate door and walked the path to the porch. Eiji stopped, “ Hmm.. what you said.. maybe I should go looking for him and talk to him about that? Because.. this has been bugging me a long time. Now that.. I know he’s a hypocrite.. I want to confront him.” “ Eiji-sempei!!! You’re not to do that!!! Then they will know I told you!”

Ryoma turned around and faced Eiji, “ Ochibi.. you know how I get when something bugs me. I’ll just say, I wanted to talk to you about how you treat me.” “ What about the stalker?” “ He’s after you.. not me!” “ Eh…. What about Oishi-sempei! The stalker could’ve gotten him!” “ You don’t know that.” “ Aren’t you worried about him?” “ Of course I am. Now that I think about it, if he was in trouble he would have called me on my cell phone. I wonder why he hasn’t done so yet.”

Eiji reached into his pocket, pulling the phone out. Ryoma face showed his anger. “ You had a cell phone….this whole time!!! We could’ve called the cops!!!” “ SORRY!! I just thought of it!” Eiji, wiped his brow with his sleeve. “ I’m in a dress you know.. it would have been weird. Anyway,” He looked at his phone. “ Oh.. it’s off! Silly me.. I turned it off when we were in the movie theater.” Ryoma gritted his teeth and turned around. He was steaming now.

“ OHH~ He’s tried calling me. I have 10 text messages. AW!! He’s worried about my safety!” Eiji blushed a little and clung to his phone rubbing his cheek against it. “ JUST CALL HIM ALREADY! Go to him.. tell him what happened. Also.. tell him I’m safe with Tezuka.” He grumbled and opened the door. He was so mad right now he didn’t think about knocking. “ I’ll see you later Kikamaru-sempei.”

“ Ochibi-san.. *sighs* Fine.. see you later.” Eiji closed his eyes and pouted. “ Oh.. maybe you should take some advice.” Ryoma didn’t turn around, “ Huh? What advice would you have for me?” “ I’ve noticed.. how you’ve been treating Momoshiro. You should be nicer to him. He’s a dear friend right? It’s only right that friends be nice to each other. He really likes you, you know. I can see it.”

Ryoma blushed for some odd reason. He didn’t know why he was doing that. “ Right, Sempei.” He walked inside and closed the door behind him.

Eiji pouted, “ He thinks he’s all grown up. He doesn’t even understand how he feels. It’s.. so kawaii.” Eiji gave a little smile. He then called Oishi on his phone. “ I hope I didn’t worry him too much.” The phone rang for some time, then it finally picked up. “ OISHI! It’s me.. I’m sorry.. yes.. I’m okay.. what? No way?” He walked away back down the path. “ Echizen’s safe.. he was with me. So. should I.. no? Why. okay, I’ll be there soon. Love you.” He then hung up the phone, closed the gate and rushed off down the street.

In side the Tezuka home~

Ryoma gave a small sigh, his mind now consumed with all the things that had happened so far. “ God.. now I know there are two gay couples on my team. Dang.. how did that happen? It doesn’t seem like they are gay. Well.. Eiji is the only one that seems gay.” He was talking to himself now. He rubbed the back of his neck. He didn’t know how he felt about that. They were his friends and team mates. If they were happy, he guessed, then it was fine with him. It wasn’t him after all. Then Eiji’s words came back to him,’ I’ve noticed.. how you’ve been treating Momoshiro. You should be nicer to him. He’s a dear friend right? It’s only right that friends be nice to each other. He really likes you, you know. I can see it.’

Ryoma took ran his finger’s through his hair. The blush returning, “ I am nice to him! He just… gets on my nerves some times. I hope to god.. he doesn’t like me like me. But.. maybe.. he does.. and.. I know that.. that’s why I’ve been mean. DOH!!” He just realized this. He lowered his head again. “ What am I going to do.. now.. that I realize it?”

Then he realized that the place was quite, yet the lights were on. He blinked and looked around. “ Tezuka-bucho? Are you here?” He then heard something up stairs. “ Ehhhhh?” He couldn’t understand the noises he was hearing.

He slowly made his way up stairs. Then he heard a scream, it sounded like Fuji-sempei. The color escaped his face and his eyes grew larger. He was now sweating a little, “ why.. is.. Fuji-sempei here? Why is he screaming? Maybe.. the stalker!!!” He rushed forward. He hoped it was the stalker, if not.. he didn’t want to imagine what was going on. He ran to the door at full force. “ SEMPEI’S!!”


In Tezuka Kunimitsu’s room. ~


The new lover’s were engaging in sex. They had switch position’s twice. Tezuka had been on top first, but Fuji was more demanding. He had rolled Tezuka on to his back. “ Some power you have.. Kunimitsu-kun.” Tezuka hissed a little, “ you have more knowledge of this kind of thing. You watch too much porn!” Tezuka scolded, looking up at him. The Seigaku captain was panting hard. “ Well.. you like Porn music.” Fuji giggled back as he straddled his boyfriend’s hips. He forced himself on to Tezuka’s erection. He gave a small cry. “ Your finger play.. needs work. Maybe we should’ve used the lotion.”

“ Sorry, you’re the one in such a hurry. Remember?” Tezuka said, he winced a little as placed his hands on Fuji’s hips. Fuji pushed himself the rest of the way down. “ Next time.. you’re going to be on the bottom,” the prodigy’s face showed that he was in some pain. Tezuka sighed, “ we’ll have to see.. if I’m in a good mood, maybe. I suppose it’s only fair.”

Fuji leaned down, his face getting closer to Tezuka’s. “ Enough talking.. more sex..” he panted. Tezuka kissed him deeply. The captain’s hands slowly traced the side of his hips. He started to move, giving him a deep thrust. “ Syuusuke! You’re so tight.” Fuji gave a loud moan, “Kunimitsu!! Now.. you’re..*huff* saying sexy things. I like it!! Talk to me dirty like that!!”


The two were so busy rutting that they didn’t notice Echizen in the door way. The young prince’s eyes were glued on to the scene. He had gone completely stiff. Tezuka and Fuji were sweating, from there fucking. It was a rather erotic scene. Not to mention the pornography on the TV made the skeptical have music.

Finally Echizen let out a loud scream and took off! “NOOOO Not you two!! NOOOO” Tezuka stopped, he looked confused. Fuji looked over his shoulder to see Echizen fleeing. “ Oh my,” He closed his eyes. “ Why was he here? That was Echizen.” Tezuka sat up,” I know who’s voice that was.”

Tezuka put a hand to his forehead. “ I told him.. if he was in trouble.. to come see me. Damn it! I should have said call me.” Tezuka started to look for his glasses. Fuji gave a pout,” Kunimitsu.. let’s finish this first! We can’t go after him.. in this state!!” Tezuka felt really guilty, but he knew Fuji was right. He was still hard as a rock, obviously so was Fuji. “ Let’s make this fast.. I’m sorry about that. I should’ve locked the door.” Fuji gave a small smile,” you’ll make it up to me later.” He opened his eyes again. “ Syuusuke..” “ Kunimitsu!!~” Then they went back at it, as if nothing had happened.

Outside~

Ryoma was running hard again. Now there where three gay couples and he had no place to escape too. “ Wait.. Taka-sempei! I’ll go to his home! I’ll be safe from all the madness there! I should’ve went there first!!” Ryoma was now crying a little. “ Why is.. every one.. on my team like that!!” He didn’t want to admit it, but he was some what turned on. “GAHHH!!!” He picked up his pace.


Back on the street.~

Oishi hung up his phone. “ That was Eiji, there both safe. Ryoma is with Tezuka.” Momo nodded and looked at the man with the ski mask. He was still out cold. Momo glared at him. Who was this adult and why did he want Echizen. The tennis racquet was a huge clue, it had to involved tennis. They had put him on a park bench, Momoshiro was keeping an eye on him.

When Oishi came back over and gave the good news. “ Thank Kami!” Momo gave a happy smile. “Now.. we have to deal with this freak job.” Oishi nodded, “ maybe we should de-mask him?” Momoshiro nodded, “ I’ll do it.” He took a deep breath and inched closer. He went to pull the mask off. “ ERADICATOR!!” The man screamed out in his native tongue. Momoshiro backed off right away. “ He’s awake!”

Oishi gave a frightened look, “ Who are you?” The American got to his feet. “I.. AM.. THE Eradicator!!!” He swung his racquet around. Momoshiro and Oishi glanced at each other. His Japanese was basic, he was obviously a foreigner. Momoshiro gave him an angry glare,” what do you.. want.. with my friend?” The man was now standing hunched over unmoving. Momoshiro could see his eyes from a street lamp.

“ You’re..huh?” He tilted his head. Momoshiro put a hand to his brow. He hated talking to foreigners. “ Echizen.. Ryoma.. what do you want with him?” “OHHH!! Ryoma Echizen.. What do you think! I want to crush him!” Momoshiro didn’t understand him really. “ WHAT!” He almost charged forward. Oishi stopped him. “ WAIT!! MOMO!!”

Oishi looked at the grown-up. “you want to.. play him, Is that what you mean? Tennis?” He pointed to the American’s racquet. The Eradicator looked down, then nodded. “ Ryoma is the best tennis player! I must defeat him for America!”

Momoshiro relaxed, “so.. this was what it was all along!” He sighed a little. He was still angry. “ What is your problem! Why can’t you just act normal! If you just..” Oishi shook his head a little. “ American’s are so weird. I think.. he did it like this.. because in real life he is a shy person. He has to make himself look like a super hero, like in American comic books.” Momoshiro nodded, “ I see.. I bet this is all because of what happened a few month’s ago.” Oishi nodded, “ When Echizen played Kevin. He wants revenge for America.”

The two of them looked at the Eradicator. “ I think.. Echizen needs to play him..” Momoshiro said. “ He’s been so scared to face him. It will be good for him. Then maybe this guy will get the hint. He doesn’t seem like he’d be very good.” “ If that’s the cause.. Ryoma my not play him.” Oishi rubbed his chin. “ I think Ryoma will play him.. just to beat the crap out of him.” Momoshiro gave a small smirk.

Oishi sighed, “ what a mess! A perfectly good night.. wasted on Tennis. We should get a hold of Ryoma and tell him to come down here then. I want this over with as soon as possible.” Momoshiro nodded,” I’m glad Ryoma isn’t in any real danger. But.. this might make me worry about his safety from now on.” Oishi got his phone out. “ I can tell.. you care for him.” The vice captain placed his hand on Momo’s shoulder. “ Maybe you should tell him that. I noticed that you guys were fighting. You should just be honest and maybe even say sorry.

Momo nodded, “ yea.. I hate it when things are like this.” Oishi then looked at the Eradicator, “ sir, we are going to get Ryoma now. We will see if he wants to play a game of tennis with you.” The man looked at Oishi bewildered and nodded, “ Yes.. hurry. I don’t have much time.” Oishi gave a nervous smile and nodded. He called up Tezuka.

As Oishi was trying to reach Tezuka, Eiji was coming up the street. He was still in the dress. Momoshiro noticed right away. “ EIJI-SEMPEI!”


Kawamura Sushi bar ~


Ryoma reached the door, he was still breathing hard. His mind now, was full of disturbing images. He looked into the building, the lights were still on. The place seemed to be full of customers. Ryoma opened the door and walked in. Taka-sempei was behind the counter with his father. “ Echizen-kun?” Kawamura smiled when he noticed the tiny Seigaku member.

He came out for behind the counter and came towards him. “ Taka..sempei!” Ryoma’s eyes got watery. Kawamura blinked surprised,” Echizen-kun.. what’s wrong!” He wrapped his arm around him and led him to the next room. Ryoma was still holding back on his childish emotions.

Ryoma unloaded on Kawamura, he told him everything. The story horrified the future Sushi chief. He placed a hand on Ryoma’s shoulder. “ There there.. Echizen-kun. What an awful night you’ve been having! It’s surreal!” He was just as shocked as Ryoma, by his discoveries.

Ryoma looked up,” you’re not like that are you?” Kawamura’s eyes got large. He laughed and shook his head. “ No.. Ryoma.. I’m not. But.. they are my friends.. if they are happy with them selves that’s all that matters to me. I think loving some one is a good thing. Don’t you?” Taka-san nodded, “ So.. don’t hate your sempei’s for loving each other deeply.” Ryoma nodded, “ I.. can’t hate my friends. But that was just too much information.” Taka-san nodded, “ I think you’ve deserved some free sushi. You haven’t eaten yet have you?” Ryoma’s stomach growled, he added a nodded. “ Wait right here I’ll get you something.” Ryoma was glad that Taka-sempei was such a nice, innocent guy.


Back on the street.~


Oishi finally reached Tezuka. The four of them, Momo, Eiji, The Eradicator, and Oishi where now walking to Tezuka’s house. Tezuka had told him that Ryoma wasn’t there. He wouldn’t explain why, but he said to come to his house. That way they could go look for Echizen together.

Momoshiro was upset once again. He was worried that Ryoma put himself in danger. He was slightly a head of the others. Eiji was looking at the Eradicator, who was trailing. He was such a weird guy. They were getting close to Tezuka’s house now. Eiji was trying to get a hold of Inui and Kaidou. He kept calling them and texting them. He still wanted to confront Kaidou for being such an ass.

Tezuka’s house ~

Tezuka had just got off the phone with Oishi. The vice captain had explained to him the events of the night. He was greatly annoyed. He was now cleaned up and getting dressed. Fuji was in the shower. “ Why are they always getting in trouble.” Fuji got out and dried off. “ Well.. I think it’s a rather humorous story.” He smiled a little and hugged Tezuka.

“ You get a kick out of everything. Hurry up and get dressed.” Fuji sighed a little and did as he was told. He smiled as he put his pants on. When Fuji was getting dressed Tezuka cleaned up his room. He turned off the TV. Then they both went down stairs.

Once the group got together they started to look for Echizen.

Kawamura Sushi bar~


Ryoma was eating his sushi down, he was so grateful for it. Kawamura watched him silently. He was still worried about him. “ Echizen-kun.. are you sure you’ll be okay? Ryoma nodded, “ I’ll just forget.. what I saw. So let’s not talk about it.” Taka-san sighed a little. “ But.. Ryoma.. wouldn’t that make your problem worse? What about that stalker?” “ I’ll just call the police.. and tell my old man. They will handle it.”

Taka-san still seemed a little upset. “ What about Momo?” “ What about him?” “ It was something.. Kikamaru-san said earlier. It’s starting to get to me now.” Ryoma stopped eating and looked up. He looked annoyed, “ what did he say?”

“ Well… he thinks you and Momoshiro are a couple. Tell you the truth.. I see it. I mean.. with that whole date ordeal.. you remember that? You seemed so jealous when Ann tried to go out with Momo.” Ryoma looked down, “ what.. no where not!! That’s so.. stupid! why would I want to be with another guy?” Taka-san looked down,” Momo.. even cried when you left Echizen. I can tell he has feelings for you. Obviously I’m not the only one that notices this” “ Kawamura-sempei! You go too far in thinking so!”

Ryoma was now furious, his face was covered with a deep blush. Kawamura gave a scared look, “ I’m sorry Echizen.. I didn’t mean to go too far. I just want you two to be happy. I just know Momo.. he’d never say anything. But he was really glad when you came back!” “ Kawamura-san! This is too much for me to deal with now.” “ That’s right.. it is.. so why face everything a lone, Echizen-kun!” Kawamura looked down at the ground. He knew he was being too bold, it was making him uncomfortable. “ Were your teammates, Echizen-kun. You’re like a little brother to me.”

Ryoma gave a little sigh, “ I’ve relied on your kindness too much. I think I’ll be going now.” Ryoma then walked out of the back room. Kawamura followed him. “ Echizen-kun! I’m really sorry!” Ryoma said nothing. Just then as he was about to walk out the door, he ran into Kaidou and Inui.

The couple came in here for some food. They were shocked to see Echizen. Echizen was also shocked and backed up right into Kawamura. The two fell over into each other. As they fell they bumped right into a customer, falling to the ground. They were all scrambled together on the ground.

Kawamura’s father was automatically enraged, “ WHAT IN THE HELL!” Kawamura and Ryoma struggled against each other. Inui and Kaidou looked on still, shocked. “ Who would have foreseen this?” Inui noted, he pulled out his note book. “ Kawamura and Echizen.. love affair.” He mumbled this as he wrote.


Ryoma shouted,” NOT ON YOUR LIFE!!” He finally broke free from Kawamura, he got up and ran out of the establishment.

Kawamura,” oh no!! Look it what I’ve done.” He got up and tried to fix the after math of what happened. “ Inui.. Kaidou-san.. please! Go get Ryoma-kun. I need to say sorry!” He whimpered a little. As he cleaned up the mess that was created.

Inui nodded,” I added to the problem.. by thinking such a thing. Come Kaidou!” The snake looked at his mate. He gave a low hiss. “ Kaidou?” Kaidou’s face got red, he didn’t want to look at Echizen. He was still embarrassed about earlier. He didn’t want to face Ryoma. Inui sighed,” face your demons.. we talked about that remember?” Kaidou nodded.

They two were now on the hunt for Echizen. Inui also got a call from Eiji once he turned on his phone. Eiji was now talking his ear off. Inui just calmly listened. “ Hm.. I see.. I see. Yes.. you can talk to Kaidou later, in person. Also.. let’s meet up at the street courts. There is a 95 percent chance that Ryoma would go there for comfort. This will give the Eradicator his chance to face Ryoma. Yes.. and we’ll all be able to handle any other issues. See you then”

Kaidou looked at him,” so.. our.. time is ruined because of the brat?” Inui sighed, “ it seems so.. my I add that it is insensitive of you to call him a brat right now.” Kaidou grumbled and hissed.

They headed towards the street courts.

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OH MY GOD! I had to stop. I wrote nine pages. >< Hopefully I’ll be able to wrap this up in the next chapter. It will be much sooner I promise. In the next couple of days.