Honour, Duty, or Love?

Title: Honour, Duty or Love?
Author: JadeHeart
Located/Archived: If anyone would like it, please ask me first
Fandom: Saiyuki

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this, they belong to the creators, nor am I making any profits

Chapter 4

“So what’s the verdict?” Sanzo asked, lighting up

“It’s a lost cause I’m afraid,” Hakkai stated, looking up.

“Huh,” was the monk’s only reply.

“Ah, no, no!” Goku wailed, falling to his knees, face grief-stricken. “It can’t be!”

“Give it up, monkey,” Gojyo stated flatly. “There’s nothing you can do about it.”

“But…but..” Goku looked mournfully up at the kappa. “There’s got to be something we can do.”

Hakkai stood and brushed off his trousers, placing a comforting hand on the younger mans’ shoulder. “I’m sorry, Goku. All the food is ruined.”

“Noooooo!” Goku’s cry of despair echoed off the surrounding mountains, slowly fading away.

“Geez!” Gojyo slapped the back of Goku’s head. “Will you shut up with your whining! It’s not the end of the world!”

“But it is!” Goku glared at him. “What are we expected to eat? I’m already starving!”

“You only had breakfast two hours ago,” Gojyo snapped.

“That was two hours!” Goku stated, glaring at him. “Since then we’ve been chased by demons, driven over a cliff, nearly drowned in a river and now all our food is destroyed. That all makes me hungry!”

“Ah, damnit!” Gojyo slapped his forehead with the palm of his hand in despair at Goku’s insane reasoning. He then turned to Sanzo. “So what are we gonna do now, oh high and mighty?” he asked.

“We keep going,” was Sanzo’s even reply, smoke from his lit cigarette drifting upwards.

“But, Sanzo,” Goku jumped to his feet and went immediately to his master’s side. “Where are we going to eat? Hakkai, is there some place on the map for us to stop at? Some place we can get some food?”

“Well,” Hakkai was carefully trying to unfold the sodden map without tearing the paper, grimacing a little as it stuck and he was forced to tug a little harder. Finally he had it spread over the bonnet of Hakuryu in jeep form. “I don’t believe there is anything on our way for at least another three days.” He looked up at his three friends. “That is why we purchased the quantity of supplies that we did in the first place.”

“Aw, man!” Goku threw himself into the back of Hakuryu, legs hanging over the side. “I’m gonna die before then.” He sat up. “Look again, there’s got to be some place else.”

Hakkai smiled serenely at the impatient Goku. “I’m sorry, Goku, but according to the map there isn’t anything. However the map could be incorrect and we may be lucky enough to find something between here and the next marked town.”

Gojyo knelt down and began rummaging through the pile of water-soaked packages and bags, grimacing as his hand went through some paper and squelched around something. He lifted it, eyeing the white dripping globules sliding from his fingers. “I don’t even wanna try and guess what that was supposed to have been.” he said with distaste.

“Oh, that was probably the flour,” Hakkai said, glancing towards his friend.

“Humph,” Gojyo shook his hand, shaking the worst from it and then tried to wipe the rest on the grass at his side, before giving up and going back to scrabbling through the remains of their supplies.

“Is there something you are specifically looking for?” Hakkai asked, after watching his friend for a moment.

“Smokes,” was the answer. “I know we stocked up on them so I’m trying to find them. I’m hoping that there might be some that we can salvage. It’s gonna be a long trip otherwise.”

He continued to search for a moment more, his motions becoming a little more frantic. Suddenly he sat back on his heels with an exasperated snort. “What the hell happened to them?” he snarled, glaring at the mess before him.

“They were probably totally destroyed,” Hakkai stated, carefully refolding the map. “They were immersed for some time in the water before we could drag it all out.”

“I meant that they’re not even here,” Gojyo replied, kicking at the pile angrily.

Hakkai paused in what he was doing. “What do you mean?”

Gojyo glared at his friend. “I mean,” he said slowly. “That the cigarettes aren’t in this lot.”

Hakkai looked down at the scattered mess, a slight frown on his brow. “Well, I know we certainly purchased them. Perhaps they fell out of the bags whilst in the river? Though that does seem a little odd when everything else is in place.”

“Will you two hurry up?” Sanzo called impatiently from where he was sitting in the jeep, Goku behind him. “We’ve got a long way to go still and we’ve wasted enough time already.”

“Yes, of course,” Hakkai said, moving to slide in behind the wheel.

Gojyo pushed himself to his feet, gave one final glare at the ruined supplies at his feet and then slouched over to the vehicle, swinging his long legs over the side to sit beside Goku.

“Are we all ready?” Hakkai asked, starting the engine.

“Hurry up and move it,” Sanzo growled, settling back.

Hakkai hid a smile as he shifted into gear. “Of course,” and they headed off down the path.

-oOo-

“Man, doesn’t this just suck.” Gojyo said, kicking at a small rock and watching it skitter down the passage into the darkness before them.

“Listening to you whine doesn’t make it any better.” was Sanzo’s snappy response.

Gojyo raised an elegant eyebrow as he glanced at the monk beside him, walking with crossed arms and eyes half closed. “What’s got your panties in a bunch?” he asked.

Sanzo turned his head to view the red-haired kappa at his side and sneered. “Apart from the fact that I’ve been chased by youkai re-animated corpses, lost in these passages beneath the town, and our original exit was so masterfully sealed by a stupid water sprite? You know, I don’t know why I would be just a little bit pissed off at this stage!”

“Hey, if I hadn’t blocked that entrance when we ran down here they’d have had our guts spilt all over the town by now!” Gojyo defended his actions. “You saw what they did to that poor traveller.”

“Yeah, I saw.” It would have been hard to miss; watching a person being pulled to pieces whilst they were still alive until their head came off with a pop which at least mercifully silenced the screams that had echoed through the mountains.

They walked further in silence, the torch in Gojyo’s hand sending shadows racing across the stone walls.

“What do you think these passages are for?” Gojyo finally broke the silence. It had seemed like they had been walking for miles in this darkness with nothing more than their one small torch for light.

“How would I know?” Sanzo grumped.

“I thought you monks were supposed to be all learned and stuff?”

“I must have missed the structural engineering class.” Sanzo sneered again.

“Great,” Gojyo muttered under his breath. “How come I’m the one that has to be stuck down here with the prissy monk? Why couldn’t it have been Hakkai?”

His thoughts went immediately to his friend and he began to worry again.

They had been pleasantly surprised when they had come upon this town which was not marked on the map. Not unusual really; many small communities could spring up across the country when enough people came to one area for what ever reason. Many of these never made it onto any map; having developed quickly around a particular reason and then gone just as quickly when that reason no longer existed. Plenty of small mining towns were like that.

So to find this place not on the map hadn’t truly been strange. They had arrived during the early evening and everything had appeared so ordinary. The townspeople appeared pleasant, if not particularly conversational, but the food they had eaten had been good and plenty of it so even Goku had been satisfied, and the beds they had slept in had been clean and soft. He couldn’t recall seeing anything that would have made him suspect this town had been anything other than what it was.

When they had awoken they had prepared to move on. Hakkai and Goku had left early have a look at the road ahead as they had been told that the route they had intended to take was impassable. If that had been the case they would have had to plan an alternate route. Whilst they did that, he and Sanzo had gone out to gather the supplies they needed. It was while they were doing this chore that they had seen that all was not quite well in this sleep little town.

They had barely walked down the first street when they had heard the first scream. It had startled them both, so unexpected in the morning silence. It had been followed by a second and they had both set off running in the direction it had come from. Rounding a corner they had come upon a gruesome sight.

There was a man, dressed as a travelling tinker, his cart and bags overturned and scattered across the road. He was held tightly by a number of people, townspeople that Gojyo even recognized from being in the inn the night before.

However, now they appeared to be something far from human. Even as he watched one dropped his head and teeth latched onto the traveller’s ear, ripping it away in a fountain of blood. Gojyo watched in horror as the man chewed on the ear and swallowed before leaning down to lap at the blood gushing from the wound whilst the others around him all now dove forward, teach and hands ripping into flesh whilst the traveller’s terrified screams increased

“Shit!” Sanzo had shouted, drawing his gun and firing towards the mob. One fell, obviously hit but then slowly rose again. Sanzo fired twice more, dropping his targets but they also did not remain down.

Gojyo now swung his weapon, the chain swishing outwards and sliced away an arm. The wounded man merely turned to face him, no indication of feeling any pain at the injury. Now others were appearing, coming from doorways and side streets, all converging on them.

The mob behind were still tearing into the hapless man they had captured and Sanzo and Gojyo could do little to help as he was literally torn and eaten alive, until finally his head was ripped from his shattered body.

Then all these creatures who had once been the townspeople turned towards them. They had tried to fight but there were too many and nothing they did seemed to have much effect. They seemed impervious to wounds, even when decapitated the corpse still continued on, hands outstretched. There was no consciousness in the blank eyes that stared at them, and now Gojyo could see their skin seemed grey and slimy, pieces sometimes sliding from their bodies showing gleaming bone beneath as they had putrefied.

He and Sanzo had had no other choice but to run. The problem was that although these people were not human any longer they still knew this town better than them and they were everywhere. They had barely escaped twice being cornered when they had been herded into blind corners so when they had come across this entrance down into passages beneath the town they had decided to take their chances.

So that is how he and Sanzo had ended up here. Now, knowing what the villagers really were, he couldn’t help but wonder if their two missing friends had run up against the same problem. He didn’t want to think that they might already be dead.

“Stop worrying,” Sanzo’s voice suddenly broke through his thoughts.

“I’m not,” he denied, looking away.

“Yeah, right.” Sanzo said with sarcasm.

“Well, aren’t you a little concerned?” Gojyo shot back. “We don’t know what’s happened to the others.”

“It really doesn’t matter. We can’t help them no matter what.”

“Man, that’s cold.”

“It’s the truth.” Gojyo couldn’t deny that but it didn’t make him feel any better in hearing it said.

“Maybe, but can’t you try and come up with something we can do to help ‘em?”

“Like what? We’re stuck down here and all we can do is keep walking forward because we can’t go back. They’ll have to look after themselves.”

“They might need our help. We barely got away.”

Sanzo looked over at him. “So do you have any better idea?”

Gojyo didn’t answer. Sanzo was right. There wasn’t anything he could do from where he was. He really did hope their two missing companions were safe and had managed to avoid the trap they had fallen into.

“Aw, crap!” he said in a defeated voice, coming to a halt.

“Good move, stupid, coming down here. What’s your next brilliant idea?” Sanzo sneered.

They were looking directly at a solid stone wall, completely natural, not man-made.

Gojyo ran a hand over it trying to feel if there were any cracks or weaknesses that he might be able to do something with. If he could feel any air movement through those cracks it would mean that there was space on the other side and possibly a way out but he could detect nothing.

He heard the sound of rustling material and turned to see Sanzo seating himself on the floor, back leaning against the rock wall. He reached in and pulled out a cigarette, lighting it carefully.

“Give it up,” he said to Gojyo. “We’re not going anywhere that way.”

Gojyo didn’t bother arguing and sat down beside the monk, pushing the end of the torch he held between two rocks nearby to hold it upright. He leant his head back and looked up at the ceiling, watching the play of shadows.

“So what do we do now?” he asked.

“We wait.” was Sanzo’s even reply.

“For what?”

Gojyo heard the sound of clicking and turned his head to see Sanzo carefully reloading his gun, slipping each cartridge into its respective chamber before snapping it shut.

“Aw, shit,” he half whispered, leaning his head back again and closing his eyes for a minute. “How long do you think it’ll take?” he finally asked.

Sanzo blew out some smoke and Gojyo’s nose twitched. He’d been without any cigarettes for a couple of days now as Sanzo refused to share, saying that he only had a few left himself. Yet over this time he was sure he had seen the monk smoke enough to warrant a couple of packets and he hadn’t once shared with the water sprite. Gojyo was beginning to have visions of mugging the monk to steal what ever cigarettes he had left, except the idea of receiving a gut shot wound for his trouble didn’t really appeal to him. He wasn’t quite that desperate yet. Although it might be getting to that point.

Sanzo finally finished what he was doing, laying the gun by his side within easy reach and spoke.

“That all depends on what they are intending.” he said, answering Gojyo’s last question. “They may go to the trouble of breaking in right away, although that is going to take some time after the cave-in you caused. Or they may just leave us down here until we die and dig us out later. It’s not like we’re going anyway. Something they probably knew only too well in the first place.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right.”

“I usually am.”

“Ha,” Gojyo snorted. “You don’t have to sound so smug about it. You know you’re insufferable, don’t you?”

Sanzo gazed over at him, lip curled up in a sneer. “When I’m surrounded by idiots, it’s difficult not to show my brilliance.”

Gojyo just rolled his eyes and settled himself more comfortably against the rock wall. “So they might just leave us down here to die of starvation, huh? That’s going to be pretty boring.”

“I doubt we’ll need to wait that long.”

“Huh?”

Sanzo continued to smoke, exhaling before speaking. “I imagine we’ll be dead from lack of oxygen long before then.”

“Er? Gojyo knew he probably did sound stupid but it was all he could come out with.

Sanzo looked at him with some exasperation. “You mean you, a water sprite, haven’t felt the way things are heating up down here? How there’s no air flow? How the torch has been getting lower?”

Gojyo glanced at the still burning torch and now realized that Sanzo was right. What he had originally thought was the natural flickering that occurred as the flame was pushed by air currents he now saw, that since they had stopped moving, the flame had remained steady, and was very swiftly growing smaller.

He let out a deep sigh. “Well, it looks like it won’t be that long a stay after all.”

Sanzo snorted. “You really are a stupid kappa.”

“Hey, just because I had other things on my mind that watching a torch burn out!”

“Oh, like what? Hakkai?”

“Shut up.”

The last thing Gojyo wanted to do was discuss his feelings for his companion. As it was, what he felt was far too confusing and certainly not something he wanted to bring up with someone else, most especially not Sanzo.

They sat in silence for a time longer, Gojyo listening to the soft inhale and exhale as Sanzo smoked. He felt a trickle of sweat run down his temple.

“It is getting hot,” he admitted, reaching up to brush the droplet away. The air was beginning to feel thicker as well as he breathed it in. He glanced over at Sanzo. “Hey, shouldn’t we put out the torch or something? That’s burning oxygen too.”

“So you want to sit in the dark?”

Gojyo shrugged. “It doesn’t really bother me but it will give us some more air at least.”

“Do you really think it’s going to matter that much?”

“So you don’t think it’ll give us much more time?”

Sanzo shrugged. “I’m no expert but if I’m going to die I may as well do it comfortably, not cringing in the dark like a mole. Besides, just what were you planning on doing with this supposed extra time? Got big plans or something?”

He had a point, Gojyo thought. The idea of sitting here in the dark just waiting to die really didn’t appeal to him either. And more time still didn’t give them any other options.

“Yeah, well, I guess it may as well keep burning then.” he said.

“Hmm,”

Further silence settled between them.

“Man, it is getting warm down here,” Gojyo finally said again. He’d tried to ignore the growing heat and the sweat beginning to trickle under his clothes but it had become more than he could bear.

“Then do something about it and stop whining!” Sanzo snapped, still dressed fully in his robes. “Your stupid talking is using up the air!”

Gojyo growled but refrained from responding. He was tempted to do the complete opposite just to spite the monk but his own discomfort won out. Quickly he stripped off his tunic, using his shirt to wipe his body down, removing sweat and grime. He grimaced at the soiled shirt but then shrugged as he dropped it to his side. It’s not like he was going to need it again if he was dead.

“Put your hair up. It might make it cooler for you.”

He turned in surprise at Sanzo’s voice. The monk appeared to be sitting there with his eyes closed as though asleep.

Gojyo shrugged and stripped his bandana from his forehead and dragged the red strands back before securing them. He was right; it was cooler.

They sat in further silence, neither moving. Gojyo found the coolness of the rock against his bare back comforting although it didn’t stop the sweat from continuing to slide down his body.

There was suddenly a rustle at his side and he turned his head to see Sanzo slipping his robe from his shoulders, letting it slither down to pool around his waist. Gojyo grinned. “Got a little warm for you finally, did it?”

“Shut up,” Sanzo replied, as he stripped off the long black armlets and folded them carefully before slipping them into some hidden pocket within the robes.

It suddenly came to Gojyo just how much care Sanzo did give to his monk’s robes. In so many ways Sanzo seemed completely unsuited to be a monk, especially a Sanzo. He didn’t seem to care about anything really but he always took expert care of his robes and the sutra. Despite his claim to care for nothing, those two items in his life were certainly to the contraire.

He saw Sanzo hesitate for a moment and then swiftly grab the bottom of his black vest and stripped it over his head, leaving his chest bare and carefully going through the same process of folding and tucking it away.

Gojyo gazed at the half naked man by his side. Sanzo was all lean whipcord muscle, there was nothing soft about him. Now, in the dim light of the almost burnt out torch, he could see how Sanzo’s skin gleam with sweat, seeing a droplet slide slowly down the sternum even as he looked, slipping over the taut stomach and lower. He felt himself grow hotter.

His thoughts were halted when he heard Sanzo give a small sigh of pleasure as he leant back against the cool rock.

“Feels good, doesn’t it?” he said with a smirk.

“Whatever,” was Sanzo’s only reply

Gojyo leant back himself, closing his eyes for a moment. “Almost as good as a woman,” he murmured.

“Thought you were trying to screw Hakkai?” Sanzo said bluntly.

“Huh?” Gojyo was startled by the unexpectedness of that statement and was glad the dim light hid his flush. “What gives you that idea?”

Sanzo snorted, shifting to make himself more comfortable. “You’ve been giving him the eye for months. In fact, you were giving him the eye even when I first met you both. I thought for sure that you had been screwing him back then.”

“I never laid a hand on him,” Gojyo defended. “Well, apart from having to stuff his guts back in when I first found him.”

“Is that what got you all hot and bothered.”

“Yeah, right,” Gojyo said sarcastically. “I just love having blood up to my elbows and intestines wrapped around my wrists. It really makes me feel all fluffy and romantic.”

“What ever rocks your boat.”

“What about you and the monkey?” Gojyo shot back. “You’ve got a fetish for chains and fans. What does that say about you two?”

“Mind your own business!” Sanzo snapped, glaring.

“Then you do the same!” Gojyo returned the glare.

The silence this time seemed charged with anger, and something else as they both turned away from each other.

“Here,”

Gojyo looked back to Sanzo, seeing him holding out a cigarette.

“Thanks,” he said gratefully, taking it. He wasn’t going to knock it back and he didn’t care that it burnt up even more oxygen. He was really dying for a smoke.

He leant forward so Sanzo could light it for him, taking note of how white the monk’s hands were, how smooth, apart from a few calluses along the index finger. His trigger finger, he realized. Guess Sanzo has used that gun a fair bit, he thought.

“Thanks,” he muttered again as he lifted his head and took the first drag. Ah, bliss, finally.

He glanced over at Sanzo. “Just how many of these do you have left?” he asked as the monk lit a cigarette for himself.

Sanzo reached into his robes and withdrew two cartons of cigarettes. Gojyo’s eyes bulged.

“Where the hell did you get those from?!” he demanded, glaring at the monk. “I’ve been ready to kill for a smoke and you’ve been hoarding all these?!”

“Abstinence is good for the soul,” Sanzo replied, not even bothering to look at the fuming kappa.

“So when did you get these?”’ Gojyo said. “You never do any shopping!”

“They were the ones that we got in the last town.” Sanzo replied calmly, blowing out some smoke.

“What? They were lost in the river!”’ Gojyo stated flatly.

“No, I retrieved them.”

“You mean,” and Gojyo’s voice dropped to a low growl. “You’ve had these all this time and haven’t once shared them with me?!”

“Why should I?” Sanzo replied evenly. “I paid for them and we didn’t know when we would be able to get any more. I intended to make them last.”

“Why you….”

Gojyo was at a complete loss for words, his anger and nicotine-deprivation causing his mind to have trouble making any further coherent thoughts.

“Right then, that means now you can share!” and he lunged for the cartons placed between them.

“Like hell!” Sanzo snapped and leant forward at the same time.

They grappled together, their actions becoming more violent and forceful. This was no mock battle and their surroundings meant that there was more than one scrape and abrasion. Hair was pulled, clothing torn, hands clutched at sweat-slicked bodies, sliding across ribs, over pectoral muscles.

Gojyo felt one of Sanzo’s hands slide over his chest, palm bumping over the nipple and the touch sent a bolt of fire straight to his groin that completely threw him. He felt that not just that small nub hardened at that contact. He bit back a moan as he tried to wrench his mind away from the thoughts that followed and instead tried to see if he could get Sanzo in a head lock.

He managed to get behind the monk, one arm raised under one of Sanzo’s and cupping the back of his neck. He could feel the soft stands of hair tangling in his fingers whilst his other arm was wrapped around the monk’s smooth chest, feeling the ribs resting against his arm.

He always did think that the monk was a little too thin and wondered if it was due to too much smoking and drinking and not eating properly, or if it was something more aesthetic about his religious calling. Either way he thought Sanzo could afford to put a little more meat on his bones.

Still, that didn’t mean that he didn’t think he looked good the way he was. Although Sanzo was a little on the thin side that didn’t mean that he was a weakling or a push-over. Even now he could feel the rippling muscles under the skin beneath his hand. Despite appearances Sanzo was tough and wiry, not to mention stubborn.

He remembered what it had been like when they had first been defeated by that false Sanzo, the one who the misguided child had called God. That had been a tough fight.
He still remembered the pain, the blood, the battered and bruised bodies they had been left with.

He remembered sitting in the room watching over Sanzo who had screamed with nightmares that only he was aware of. Gojyo had often wondered since then what those nightmares had been about. What could make the Sanzo that he knew cry out with such pain and despair and anger? Then he wondered if he really wanted to know. There were some pains that were too much to share with others and perhaps Sanzo’s were that.

He remembered watching Sanzo trying to leave that night when he finally awoke; barely able to move, weak as a new born kitten, yet still he had tried to leave. Even when he had fallen, his legs unable to hold his weight, he had dragged himself along the floor, fingernails digging between the cracks of the floorboards to pull himself inch by slow agonizing inch, every movement generating further pain through his tortured body.

But he hadn’t given up, he had continued to persevere as Gojyo had sat smoking, silently watching him, not helping, not hindering. He could only watch in amazement at the sheer power of will, the intense drive this man had to succeed, to not be beaten, and he could only admire it.

However, even that indomitable will could not continue to override the physical. Finally the pain became too much and Sanzo had passed out on the floor, his breathing shallow and pained, blood seeping from re-opened wounds from his exertion.

Gojyo had stood then, in no little pain himself, and reached down, drawing one bare arm around his shoulder to lift the prone man from the floor. He dragged Sanzo back to the bed, dropping him onto the stained sheets, then wearily sagged to the floor beside him, raising his hands to rest his head in them for a moment as he felt like he wanted to weep. He had begged Sanzo to stay then. He had begged him with all his heart and to this day never knew if Sanzo had heard him or not.

He had feared back then; feared that he would lose all his friends. That journey up the mystical stairway had made him realize something; that he wasn’t alone and he didn’t have to be alone. These people were with him, even when they weren’t physically by his side, they were inside him. He carried them with him everywhere he went.

How they had been able to worm themselves so deeply into his heart, mind and soul he didn’t understand. He found so many things irritating about them yet he would not lose one part of them for anything. Everything about them, from their good points to their bad, he accepted them and wanted them to remain just that way.

That night Sanzo had appeared to be the worst hurt from this ordeal out of all of them. Perhaps because he was just a mortal with no advantages of demon blood as the rest of them had. He often forgot that Sanzo wasn’t like them. He always seemed the strongest in so many ways that it was easy to forget that he was only a mortal, with all the frailties that went with that. Because of that he had truly feared that the monk may not survive that night.

In fact it was only that display of Sanzo’s inner strength that had given him some hope again, despite the damage that it had done. Still he didn’t want the monk killing himself in trying to do more than he could in his present state so he had resolved to stay there by his side.

Through the night he had watched over him; watched the steady rise and fall of his chest as he breathed, gently wiped away the sweat from his brow, brushing back the blond hair from the closed eyes. He had tried his best to sooth the unconscious man when he became restless, talking to him in low tones, trying to calm his agitation, sometimes rubbing his chest in slow motions as though petting a beast. When Sanzo’s breathing began to ease come morning he finally began to believe that he would live. After all, Sanzo’s own will would not let him die.

Now, as they struggled in this rocky soon-to-be grave, he remembered all that, that cold clamping fear that seemed to sap his strength, clouding his mind, and the only warning he had was a sudden bunching of muscles as Sanzo twisted in his grip and tossed him over his shoulder.

He landed hard, the air knocked from his lungs and he only had time to gasp once before a heavy weight settled on his chest, crushing the brief gulp of air from his lungs.

Sanzo knelt above him, glaring. “You damn stupid kappa!” he snarled, grinding his knee down harder. Gojyo tried to cough but had no air to do it with. Sanzo didn’t seem to notice. “Don’t mess with me!”

Gojyo lashed upwards, the heel of his hand catching Sanzo under his chin, knocking him backwards and off him. He rolled to his side, choking and gasping as air rushed into aching lungs. Sanzo was lying a little distance away, shaking his head woozily after the jolt he’d received.

He didn’t give him a chance to regain any further equilibrium, lunging at him and driving him back against the wall, one hand clasped around jaw and upper neck, using all his body weight to pin the other against the rock.

“Get your filthy hands off me!” Sanzo spat at him.

Gojyo took a deep breath, still easing his lungs. “Just calm down will you, you idiot monk?!” he growled back. “All I want is some bloody smokes!”

“Get your own fucking smokes!”

“I can’t because you stole them all, you jerk!”

“Then try getting a job so you can buy your own, prick!”

“I would ‘cept I’ve got to go traipsing all over the fucking world on a pathetically insane and probably hopeless journey with an uptight crazy son-of-a-bitch who claims to be a monk! That doesn’t exactly leave any time for me to get a fucking job!”

“That’s not my problem! I didn’t ask you to come!” Sanzo yelled back. “I didn’t have a choice!”

“Nether did I!” Gojyo shouted back.

They remained like that; nose to nose, hot breath striking each other’s faces, violet eyes glaring up at red, neither backing down, bodies tense, muscles taut, panting hard and not just from the exertion but also the lowering oxygen levels.

Gojyo became aware of their close proximity then; the way he was leaning against Sanzo, their bare chests pressed against each other, his knee between Sanzo’s legs pushed up against his crotch. Sanzo looked damn good just then; blond hair disheveled, eyes flashing, lips slightly parted so he could see the tip of a pink tongue. What would it feel like to capture those lips with his own, to plunge his tongue within and coax the other to do the same?

He felt himself respond immediately to that thought, his erection rising, pressing into Sanzo’s leg. Damn it, he thought, half embarrassed. What the hell was he thinking? Why was this happening now?

He saw Sanzo’s eye widen a little and then narrow. Shit, he thought, has he felt it? If he moved he was sure that Sanzo would take advantage and jump him and then he’d lose all hope of getting any further cigarettes. If he was going to die he wanted to do it with a smoke in his hand. It was the last pleasure he would be able to have. That was more important at this stage than being embarrassed that Sanzo could feel his arousal.

“Are you afraid to die?” Sanzo suddenly asked him.

“Huh?” He half released his grip on the man’s neck before tightening it again.

“Are you deaf as well as stupid?” Sanzo snarled. “I asked if you were afraid to die.”

Gojyo considered for a moment. “Nah. Not afraid, it’s just a bummer.” He grinned. “I had always intended to die in the arms of a beautiful woman you know, with a smile on my face. That would have been the ideal way to go.”

“Well that would explain it then.”

“What?”

“Your reaction to all this.”

Gojyo’s stomach dropped. Shit, he had noticed but he tried to make out that he didn’t know what Sanzo was talking about. “What do you mean?”

Suddenly Sanzo’s hand reached down and cupped his groin, squeezing lightly then releasing him just as suddenly. He couldn’t stop the soft moan that escaped him at the all too brief contact.

“You’re so focussed on bodily pleasures that now that you are faced with death that is all you can think about; your bloody smokes, and that.”

A sudden push sent Gojyo toppling backwards to land on his butt, surprise at the turn of conversation having made him loosen his grip again.

Sanzo turned his head so he wasn’t looking at him as he reached out and picked up one of the cartons and tossed it to him which Gojyo automatically caught.

“Here,” he said, resettling himself more comfortably against the wall and removing another cigarette himself. “At least we can deal with that easily enough.”

He lit up and then raised his eyes to look at Gojyo with a clear steady gaze. “What are you doing over there? If you want your smoke lit, get over here now.”

Gojyo scrambled quickly over to Sanzo’s side, settling beside him. Their bare shoulders were touching, slick skin against slick skin.

“Hurry up,” Sanzo mumbled and Gojyo slipped a cigarette between his lips and leant forward so the end touched Sanzo’s lit one.

Their faces were so close, eyes looking into eyes. Gojyo could see the quickening rise and fall of Sanzo’s chest and felt his own heart rate speed up. This was almost like a kiss between them.

He slowly withdrew, almost reluctantly, and inhaled, drawing the smoke into his lungs, still looking at Sanzo as he also leant back a little, although their shoulders remained touching. He allowed his hand to fall to his side, landing gently on Sanzo’s thigh, feeling the muscles bunch up under his touch then slowly relax. He did nothing more, just let it lie there as they smoked in silence.

The pressure in his groin was increasing, as was the pressure in his lungs. The torch was nothing more than a single dying ember as the oxygen levels dropped to a point where it could no longer sustain it. His own body was beginning to feel the effects, becoming light-headed and his breathing shallow pants. Sazno sounded the same.

It won’t be long now, he thought, taking another drag of his cigarette. This is the last chance, and to hell with everything!

He dropped the cigarette and turned to look at Sanzo, reaching out to the other man, hands gripping bare arms and sliding over clammy skin. Sanzo didn’t pull away, in fact Gojyo felt a touch upon his own chest at the same time.

“Sanzo…” he began, leaning in, eyes fixed on the lips that he wanted to taste.

Suddenly there was a loud explosion, dust and debris raining down upon them, and harsh light splitting the darkness. He threw up his hands to protect himself from the cascading dirt and heard Sanzo swearing as he did the same.

“Hey, are you two okay?” a familiar voice called out.

He looked up to see Goku staring down at them from a large hole, hanging down dangerously.

“Watch it, you stupid monkey, before you fall down as well!” Sanzo snapped.

“They’re all right!” Goku said with relief to Hakkai who was kneeling beside him.

Hakkai smiled down as well. “I’m glad we were in time. Sorry for the delay. I trust you were able to amuse yourself whilst you waited?”

“Yeah, we had a wow of a time,” Gojyo called to his friend, casting a quick glance at Sanzo. The monk didn’t look once at him. “You took your time.”

“Ah, yes, well, we had a few things to tidy up first.” Hakkai said in his usual manner of understatement.

Goku dropped a rope down and Sanzo gripped it, giving a few tugs. “I gather that you’ve settled it all then?” he said before beginning to make his way up.

“Oh yes, there is nothing left to worry about. However I would still suggest that we look at leaving as soon as possible.” Hakkai replied.

“Suits me,” Gojyo said, grabbing the rope and following Sanzo.

When he reached the lip Hakkai swiftly assisted him to solid ground.

“Thanks,” he said with a smile to his friend.

“Any time,” Hakkai replied. “I’m very pleased to see you still in one piece, though it looks like your wardrobe suffered along the way.” Obviously referring to Gojyo’s lack of shirt.

“Aw, you know me. Nothing keeps me down.” Gojyo answered with a grin.

“That’s only too true. You seem to be ‘up’ more than anything else.” Sanzo put in suddenly.

Gojyo caught the emphasis on the word ‘up’ and hoped that he was the only one. He knew perfectly well that Sanzo was referring to his state of arousal earlier. Fortunately it had eased on the climb up so there was no evidence to be seen before their friends.

“Can we get some food before we go, Sanzo, huh?” Goku demanded, hopping impatiently from one foot to another. “I’m starving!”

“What ever,” Sanzo replied. “Just hurry up about it. I want to get out of here now.”

“Come on, Hakkai,” Goku said, grabbing the healer’s hand and dragging him along. “You too, Gojyo. We need to get lots of supplies!”

Hakkai laughed as he was dragged along, throwing a backward glance at Gojyo who was following.

“Don’t forget the smokes,” a voice called out causing Gojyo to stop.

He slowly turned his head to look back, seeing Sanzo watching him steadily. He was slowly dressing, sheathing his body in first the black tunic, before pulling his robes over his shoulders. In moments he was back to being a monk, but Gojyo couldn’t get the image of warm flesh and hands touching him from his mind.

“You need that one pleasure in life, don’t you?” Sanzo said, turning away.

Gojyo breathed in deeply, glancing away also. “Yeah, I guess I do,” and he turned and followed Goku’s voice as he listed off the foods that he wanted to take with them.