Stay Long
folder
Gensomaden Saiyuki › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
8
Views:
1,544
Reviews:
5
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Gensomaden Saiyuki › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
8
Views:
1,544
Reviews:
5
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Gensomaden Saiyuki, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Always Like This
Genjo Sanzo sat in the window of the inn room he was sharing with Goku, letting the cigarette in his fingers burn down to filter and ash. Occasionally, he thought to take a drag, but he never moved the white cylinder to his mouth.
He couldn’t get his mind to move beyond that fact that Hakkai had died and had done nothing to prevent the occurrence. They had been fighting youkai, yes, but that did nothing to ease the blonde’s survivor guilt.
He would spend the rest of his life agonizing over this death, just as he did over his master’s.
The priest flicked his amethyst gaze to Goku, who was curled up in a corner of the bed with Hakuryu. Seeing his hyperactive charge reduced to his current depression hurt almost more than Hakkai’s death.
“Hey, monkey,” Sanzo was surprised to hear himself speak.
Goku turned golden eyes toward him, but didn’t raise his head. “Yeah?”
“I’m hungry. Go downstairs and get some food.” He wasn’t, but he knew that he needed to eat. He had to eat, to keep himself healthy, to keep Goku from worrying and because Hakkai would have wanted him to.
Mostly because Hakkai would have wanted him to.
“I’m not hungry.” The monkey’s depression was true and deep if he wasn’t hungry.
Sanzo sighed. He was going to have to play dirty with Goku—the same way he was playing dirty with himself. “Hakkai would want you to take care of yourself. Go get the damn food.”
Slowly, the younger man uncurled and stood up. With a deep, depressed sigh, he walked to the door. He paused with his hand on the doorknob.
“Is it always gonna be like this now?”
“What do you mean?” The priest lifted his cigarette to his lips finally.
“Are we gonna spend forever doing things just because Hakkai would have wanted us to?”
Sanzo looked over at Goku, who stared back at him with heartbroken eyes. He exhaled the smoke on a dark sigh. “I don’t know.”
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
Gojyo heard the door to Sanzo and Goku’s room open and close. He supposed one or the other of them had finally decided to go get something to eat. Or the priest had finally smoked his way through the last of the cigarettes and needed more. He supposed that he should go out for food too, but he couldn’t find the energy.
Five days of traveling without Hakkai had taken its toll on the kappa.
He had too much time to think. Too much time to dwell on his best friend’s confession and death. Too much time to think about his own feelings in the matter.
There had been too much time for him to realize that Hakkai had not been the only member of the ikkou in love with another.
“I…Gojyo…I love you.” The words repeated infinitely in the kappa’s head, not giving him a moment’s peace. Not giving him a single moment where he could let go of his grief and begin to heal.
“I…Gojyo…I love you.”
I love you too, Hakkai.
With silent tears, Gojyo tried desperately to fall asleep.
He couldn’t get his mind to move beyond that fact that Hakkai had died and had done nothing to prevent the occurrence. They had been fighting youkai, yes, but that did nothing to ease the blonde’s survivor guilt.
He would spend the rest of his life agonizing over this death, just as he did over his master’s.
The priest flicked his amethyst gaze to Goku, who was curled up in a corner of the bed with Hakuryu. Seeing his hyperactive charge reduced to his current depression hurt almost more than Hakkai’s death.
“Hey, monkey,” Sanzo was surprised to hear himself speak.
Goku turned golden eyes toward him, but didn’t raise his head. “Yeah?”
“I’m hungry. Go downstairs and get some food.” He wasn’t, but he knew that he needed to eat. He had to eat, to keep himself healthy, to keep Goku from worrying and because Hakkai would have wanted him to.
Mostly because Hakkai would have wanted him to.
“I’m not hungry.” The monkey’s depression was true and deep if he wasn’t hungry.
Sanzo sighed. He was going to have to play dirty with Goku—the same way he was playing dirty with himself. “Hakkai would want you to take care of yourself. Go get the damn food.”
Slowly, the younger man uncurled and stood up. With a deep, depressed sigh, he walked to the door. He paused with his hand on the doorknob.
“Is it always gonna be like this now?”
“What do you mean?” The priest lifted his cigarette to his lips finally.
“Are we gonna spend forever doing things just because Hakkai would have wanted us to?”
Sanzo looked over at Goku, who stared back at him with heartbroken eyes. He exhaled the smoke on a dark sigh. “I don’t know.”
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
Gojyo heard the door to Sanzo and Goku’s room open and close. He supposed one or the other of them had finally decided to go get something to eat. Or the priest had finally smoked his way through the last of the cigarettes and needed more. He supposed that he should go out for food too, but he couldn’t find the energy.
Five days of traveling without Hakkai had taken its toll on the kappa.
He had too much time to think. Too much time to dwell on his best friend’s confession and death. Too much time to think about his own feelings in the matter.
There had been too much time for him to realize that Hakkai had not been the only member of the ikkou in love with another.
“I…Gojyo…I love you.” The words repeated infinitely in the kappa’s head, not giving him a moment’s peace. Not giving him a single moment where he could let go of his grief and begin to heal.
“I…Gojyo…I love you.”
I love you too, Hakkai.
With silent tears, Gojyo tried desperately to fall asleep.